Hello. Sorry I didn't update exactly on the schedule, it's been a busy week so far :D I hope you like where this story is going. I still very much enjoy writing Nair for you and writing Nair in general. Thanks for the feedback, keep the motivation coming! ;)

Vanessa came back to their room and for the first time in days she was genuinely happy. Nate's lips on hers still burned on, her heart was beating at a quick rate. She plopped down on the bed that felt soft for the first time since she came here. She was glowing, you could say the moment was perfect, the only thing missing was Nate.

She would usually pay way more attention to where he so mysteriously disappeared but she was too happy to care now. He said he would be up right away, her conscious and head were clear, she didn't want to invade his personal space. They both made some mistakes; it was time to right all those wrongs away.

Blair lay on her bed with her palms over her eyes. She used to do that all the time when she was younger and her parents were fighting. It felt like a shield that would protect her from reality and give her the ultimate peace and serenity she needed.

Nate's words still hung over her like a curse. It took a while to realize that she's not a little girl anymore and she couldn't hide away from her problems by putting her hands over her face.

She has never been so lost. Nate may have made her feel a lot of things; love, hate, happiness, confusion, mixed emotions. But never lost. That was the whole point of their relationship. He was there to be lost and let down, make her go out of her comfort zone in order to find inner pleasure. She was there to pull the rope down when he was flying too high. Now, the situation was reversed…sort of. It felt like they both were lost.

She just wanted to go back. She missed New York. The air over here was way to clean and the streets were silent. It was way to quiet to fall asleep at night, she wanted to believe that it was the only thing stealing away her sleep.

He almost knocked but stopped himself before doing so. Knowing Blair, she would probably rush to the door and block it or simply lock herself in the bathroom. It wouldn't be the first time she has done that.

He grabbed the knob tightly and pushed in, hoping she was there. He didn't need another disappointment today.

She was there, in all her glory, spread over her bed. She had her palms over her eyes, he remembers she used to do it all the time when she was younger. He never understood it then. He never understood anything about her actually; she was still a complete mystery to him. The way she acted, the way she talked….but he understood her heart, from the moment he first saw her. And that was the most important thing to him. Too bad it was never really enough for her.

''Trying to disappear?'' he said smiling

Blair hated that her first reaction to his voice was smiling. She quickly straightened her lips and gotten up in to a sitting position. She could no longer hide, she put her hands down.

''You're in my room right now, and I don't think anything good can come out from that, so maybe I should start trying to'' she said and added a grin

''Ouch'' he said playfully and grabbed at his heart. He was glad this was being transferred as a play, because his heart already ached too much after her and if this was serious, he was afraid she would realize it.

''Nate, what are you doing?'' the question was not complexed but very complicated. She herself, just like him, had no idea what exactly she meant by asking him that. She just needed an answer.

''I don't know-'' he didn't. He never did. ''-I just needed to see you'' he said with such honesty that burned her

She felt her eyes water up and immediately scolded herself quietly. What was it with him and her need to cry every time she saw him?

''You already saw me'' she said, point blank and reverted her eyes to the snow white curtains rather than his eyes. They were the ultimate death of her.

''I needed to talk to you-'' she was about to cut him off but he was quicker ''-again, because we weren't finished talking. I didn't give you my answer''

''What tells you I'm still waiting for it? I'm tired of always waiting for you Nate. I'm not a stop along the way, I'm a destination'' she said, guarding herself down. She always was big with words, maybe even a little melodramatic.

He hated how overprotective and closed she was to him now, he was used to seeing her this introvert and harsh to everyone, even someone close like Serena, but never to him. He wanted to have the ability to open her up back again. He was trying his hardest but she kept pushing him away.

''I know that now-'' of course he does, she drew it out for him, laid it on a silver platter and put it in front of his confused sorry ass. You're a moron Nate, you don't deserve her, not even as a friend. You will never be good enough for her. At least he was aware of it now. He was no longer in denial that they were two of the same and that she was the one who didn't deserve him…not that he ever thought that. ''-trust me I do, and I'm sorry it took so long to finally realize. But I want to make things right. I want to put it all behind and go back to where we were. I know we can function as friends-'' they were never really friends ''- we can get that back. Aren't you tired of fighting me off? I gave up on this once already, I'm not doing it again''

''What exactly would you be giving up Nate? You don't need me in your life'' she said sadly, he didn't know why, but he couldn't stand to see her like that, he needed to put a smile on that gorgeous face, it was driving him mad, not being able to make her happy like he used to.

''I just miss you, okay? I miss talking to you, hearing your voice every day. Remember when I said that a day without talking to you is a wasted one? Well now I know for sure it is. I miss our arguments and you making fun of all my plaid clothing. I even miss Breakfast at Tiffany's, there, I said it''

She had to crack a smile at that, the situation was either laugh or cry, and she had enough of the latter. She swore to herself numerous times she would resist that smile, those pleading blue eyes. That she won't fall for his sweet talk again. But she could never really resist, she'd be fooling herself if she ever thought different. She was almost ashamed she even thought she'd be able to. The guy was all wanting blue eyes and dimples.

He put himself on the line there. This was the most honest he has ever been with her and it actually felt good. It felt liberating not having to lie or hide his feelings for once. She smiled and it lifted a huge amount of weight from his chest.

''Then you really must be desperate'' she teased and was surprised herself how easy was it to just fall back in to conversation with him. Looks like he was right after all. They were always so occupied with heartaches, breakups and drama they never really had the chance to be just friends. She has never seen him as one and that was probably the main reason it never worked out properly for them. Maybe that was what she needed right then. A true friend. She already lost Serena. She didn't want to befriend him again just because she had no one though, just hearing him say all of that stuff…it brought back nice memories. She felt truly happy for once.

His lips formed in to that beautiful smile she knew all too well and that did it. ''I kind of am''

She rolled her eyes characteristically. ''Fine. I guess we could be friends again…or for the first time ever-'' it was true, she wondered if it will ever work, at least now they'll know for sure. ''-but only because I'm already missing a blonde friend, I need a replacement'' she said with a cool attitude and tried to pretend it didn't mean much, even though it meant everything.

He wasn't that surprised to hear that things with Serena fell out once again, he never really liked Blair with her too. Serena always made her feel less worthy, when in fact, Blair was so much better in every way. If only that thought accrued in his head when he cheated. Moron.

He also knew better than to ask her about it. Sometimes, even though they were 'best friends' Nate thought that Blair hated Serena, and he was probably right. Apparently he was right about a lot of things lately. That was new.

''I'm not blonde'' he defended himself

''You were blonde as a child'' she reasoned with a grin, he hated when she called him blonde.

''I'm not a child anymore'' he said, she could be wrong, but there was a hint of sadness, nostalgia in his voice. Everything was much simpler then. Her biggest problem was choosing between two dresses, and the biggest heartbreak she experienced was when her new doll got lost.

''Yeah, none of us are. Nate, we never had a childhood, did we?'' she asked sadly, if anything he could relate to her completely. He understood. So did Serena and Chuck. No matter how much they all hated each other now, they still had things to relate over. The NJBC may be falling apart, but it was only a matter of time for them to bond again… much to Blair's displease, it was pretty much inevitable.

''Maybe we did, but they never let us remember it'' the tone of their conversation was already sad as it is. He couldn't help it, being here with Blair brought back memories, and even though he didn't want to admit, he remembered his childhood clearly. He just didn't want to talk about it because he knew she never really had one.

It was funny, she was his childhood. Maybe that's why he was still so caught on to her.

''Stop it already. We just need to stop this lame childhood pity party and start living in the moment. You have my friendship. And now, because we're such good friends again-'' she shoved him playfully towards the door ''-I can kick you the hell out of my room, go and get dreadlocks with Vanessa or whatever'' she was joking, but he could swear he heard a hint of bitterness in her voice. The worst part, he was glad he did.

''Right Vanessa-'' exactly, Vanessa. His living, breathing girlfriend that was waiting for him just a floor down. He wondered what she'll have to say about the big renewal of his and Blair's friendship. As he exited Blair's bedroom his smile was still in place. However, he could feel it being wiped away in no time.

There's some Nate/Blair/Vanessa action to go down in the next chapter, I hope you enjoyed this one too. I aimed to please so I made it most Nair and you kind of got flashbacks to their relationship. Don't forget to leave a trail ;) till next time, xo L