Warnings: Sex
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Chapter 9
It had been three days since Kakashi had last spoken with Sasuke. He had wanted to see him every couple of days, but he had been so busy with the village, mission reports and the small villages that he hadn't been able to get away. Sasuke hadn't summoned him though so at least Orochimaru hadn't come by to see him again. Kakashi was working himself to the bone to try and find a way to keep Sasuke safe until Naruto could kill him. So far he had come up empty and he was quickly becoming exhausted from the stress and worry of the situation. Kakashi had been spending anytime he had available looking for a way to break Sasuke's seals. As a result he was working until three in the morning only to get a couple hours of sleep before he had to be back into the office.
Shikamaru and Kiba weren't faring any better. Shikamaru refused to leave his room, unless it was to take a shower something he does at least six times a day. Kiba was much the same. Kakashi didn't know how either of them would ever recover from what happened to them or how long it would take. Kakashi arrived back at his apartment just after ten that night. The first thing he did was go into the bathroom to take a shower. He felt like he needed one after being stuck in that stuffy office all day. He was also tired and the shower would help keep him awake for a few more hours. After his shower Kakashi put on some comfy clothes before he made his way over into his kitchen to grab something small to eat. He had just got to the fridge when he was summoned to Sasuke. Kakashi found the room clean, but Kakashi could smell sex in the air. Orochimaru had been here. Sasuke sat on the floor next to the fireplace with his legs curled up against his chest. He was shivering, but Kakashi could see he had taken a long hot shower. His eyes also told him that Sasuke was stoned, but he wasn't too stoned that he didn't feel anything.
Kakashi went over to Sasuke and bent down in front of him.
"Sasuke."
"I can't get his hands off from me. The shower didn't help, the heroin isn't helping. I can't get the feel of him off. He kept touching me, telling me to moan. He wanted me to act like last time, but I couldn't do it. He knew I couldn't and then he got mad. It hurt the same as it always does, but it hurt more. I feel like I can't breathe. I just want his hands gone, they're always there. Always touching and hurting. I need them gone. Make them go away please." Sasuke said with a few tears going down his cheeks as more built in his eyes.
"How Sasuke?"
At this point Kakashi was willing to do anything to take that pained look away from Sasuke's eyes.
"Do it again. You made the pain go away. You took their hands away, for a few minutes there was nothing but good. Please, make it stop."
Sasuke had some tears going down his cheeks and Kakashi wanted nothing more than to take that pain away from him. The problem was Kakashi didn't think this would be a good idea. He didn't want to add to Sasuke's pain or confusion right now.
"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to make you worse Sasuke."
"How can it get worse? All I can feel are his hands, they hands. Every man he sold me to. Every man that he let do those things to me. That he made me beg for. Everything in me is screaming to not be his anymore. I don't want to belong to him, to any of them. It feels like my skin is on fire and nothing is working to make it stop. You made it stop before. Please, I can't be his anymore. There is no worse Kakashi." Sasuke said with a broken voice.
Kakashi knew this was probably a bad idea, but something inside of him was breaking at seeing Sasuke like this. It was surfacing feelings that Kakashi didn't want to think about or even acknowledge that exist. But he couldn't leave Sasuke in this pain, especially when he could do something to make it better. Kakashi moved his hands and placed them on Sasuke's cheeks. He wiped the tears away as he spoke.
"You need to promise me something. If at any point it's too much or it's hurting you, I need you to promise me that you'll tell me and we'll stop. The very last thing I want to do is hurt you in anyway Sasuke."
"I promise."
Kakashi moved his right hand and brought it over to his mask. If they were going to do this, Kakashi was going to make sure it was done right. Kakashi pulled his mask down and slowly moved in to place his lips against Sasuke's. Kakashi was just about to kiss Sasuke when Sasuke whispered.
"Wait, wait, wait."
Kakashi instantly pulled back, not wanting to do anything to upset Sasuke.
"Are you sure about this? I don't want to hurt you. Not like that, never like that." Sasuke said and Kakashi could hear the guilt in his voice from what happened that first time between them.
"This won't hurt me Sasuke. This isn't that. This is us choosing to do this. Not being forced to. I'm sure. Can I kiss you?" Kakashi asked gently.
Sasuke took in a shaky breath before he gave a nod. Kakashi slowly closed the gap between them and gently pressed his lips against Sasuke's. Sasuke tense for a second as this was his first real kiss. After a second he relaxed and pressed his lips back slightly. Kakashi kept the kiss simple as he knew that Sasuke had most likely never done this part before. Once Kakashi felt Sasuke getting comfortable he licked Sasuke's bottom lip and started to work Sasuke's mouth open. Kakashi was able to get his tongue slightly into Sasuke's mouth and gave a small moan. Kakashi deepened the kiss and he felt Sasuke's tongue gently pressing against his. It only took a few moments before Sasuke started to get more comfortable and braver with the kiss. Kakashi placed his hand on the back of Sasuke's neck and moved them so Sasuke was straddling Kakashi's lap as they sat more in front of the fireplace. They both gave a small moan when Sasuke moved and both of their crotches rubbed together.
Kakashi moved his hands down to Sasuke's shirt and started to remove it. They broke apart long enough for Kakashi to remove Sasuke's shirt before Kakashi was pulling Sasuke in for another deep kiss. Sasuke didn't even hesitate to kiss back as Kakashi ran his hands all over Sasuke's torso. Kakashi tried his best to ignore the fact that he could feel that Sasuke was thinner than he used to be. Kakashi made the mental note to come by more and make sure Sasuke was eating something. Kakashi moved away from Sasuke's mouth and moved to kiss his neck. Sasuke leaned his head back to give Kakashi easier access to his neck.
"Kakashi." Sasuke moaned lightly.
"That's it baby, just feel." Kakashi whispered into Sasuke's ear before he gently bit the bottom of his ear.
Sasuke gave a small moan as he moved his hands and worked on getting Kakashi's jacket and shirt off. Kakashi moved his hands down Sasuke's back and placed them on Sasuke's ass. He moved Sasuke's hips to grind their crotches together, causing them both to moan. Sasuke got Kakashi's jacket and shirt off and immediately placed his hands all over Kakashi's chest. Sasuke couldn't believe how built Kakashi was. He had no idea Kakashi had that much muscle to him. They stayed like that making out and grinding against each other for a few minutes just allowing themselves the chance to enjoy this. It was Kakashi first that needed more. He placed his hand on Sasuke's lower back and then gently rolled them over so Sasuke was laying down on the soft rug underneath them. Kakashi placed his hands on Sasuke's pants and started to undo them. Sasuke did the same for Kakashi. They made quick work removing the rest of each other's clothing before Kakashi covered Sasuke's body with his own and grinded their hard on together, causing them to both let out a long moan. Kakashi bent down and kissed all along Sasuke's neck as he continued to grind into Sasuke.
"I need to be inside of you." Kakashi moaned.
"Fuck please." Sasuke moaned back as a tingle shot through his whole body. He felt like he was going to literally explode. He couldn't ever remember feeling like this. He couldn't even describe what it was that he was feeling. All he knew was that he needed Kakashi inside of him and he needed it now.
Kakashi moved his hand and Sasuke easily opened his mouth to suck on three of Kakashi's fingers. Once they were wet enough Kakashi pulled them out and moved his hand down to Sasuke's hole. Kakashi rubbed his index finger in circles around Sasuke's hole as he started to kiss his way down Sasuke's body. Kakashi took Sasuke's cock into his mouth as he inserted his finger inside of Sasuke. Sasuke let out a deep moan at the sensation of Kakashi's mouth on him. Kakashi worked Sasuke's cock as he slowly started to stretch Sasuke's hole. Once he felt that Sasuke was stretched enough he started to search out his sweet spot. He knew he hit it when Sasuke let out a small scream and thrusted his hips up into Kakashi's mouth. Kakashi kept working that spot and Sasuke's dick until Sasuke cam in his mouth. Kakashi swallowed the load before he slowly pulled his fingers out and kissed his way back up Sasuke's body. Kakashi sat up on his knees and Sasuke sat up, putting Kakashi's cock right at his mouth level. Sasuke didn't even hesitate to take Kakashi deep in his mouth. Kakashi gave a deep groan as Sasuke took him right to the base. Kakashi placed his hand gently in Sasuke's hair and gently moved his hips to fuck Sasuke's mouth. Sasuke moaned sending vibrations straight through Kakashi's body. Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he felt this good. It was insane. Kakashi had to get Sasuke to stop so he wouldn't cum. He wanted to be inside of Sasuke when he did that, not in his mouth.
Sasuke easily moved his head with a final lick. Kakashi placed his hand on the back of Sasuke's neck and moved them so Kakashi was sitting down with Sasuke straddling his lap once again. Kakashi could see the confusion in Sasuke's eyes at the position and Kakashi knew that Sasuke had never done this position before. Kakashi spoke as he kept his hand on the back of Sasuke's neck as he spoke.
"You're in control."
"I don't know how to."
"Go slow, I'll show you how baby."
Sasuke gave a shaky nod and Kakashi could tell that Sasuke still wasn't confident with this position, but he was willing to give it a try. Kakashi grabbed his own hard on to keep it steady for Sasuke. Sasuke slowly lowered himself down onto the tip of Kakashi's cock. He took Kakashi's advice and took it slow, slowly taking him in inch by inch until Kakashi was buried deep inside of him. Both Kakashi and Sasuke was breathing heavy by the pleasure. Kakashi kissed all along Sasuke's neck as he spoke.
"You feel so good. You belong to me and only me. It's only my hands on you. When you're ready go slow baby."
Sasuke moaned and slowly moved up until he was almost at Kakashi's tip before he slowly moved back down. He continued to do that a few times before Kakashi placed his hands on Sasuke's hips as he spoke he moved Sasuke's hips to a better angel.
"Angle your hips just like this."
Sasuke did and when he took Kakashi deep he gave a loud moan as he hit his sweet spot head on.
"That's your sweet spot baby. That's what make all of this feel amazing."
Sasuke moaned and went to pick up his pace, but Kakashi kept his hands on Sasuke's hips making sure he kept the slower pace.
"Go slow, let it build. It'll feel even better when you cum. You'll be able to cum without me even touching your dick."
Sasuke moaned as he put his head back. Kakashi kissed and nipped at Sasuke's neck. Kakashi thrusted gently into Sasuke to make himself go even deeper inside of Sasuke. They were both moaning, their bodies were trembling with need. They both had no idea how long they had been going at it, but they were both desperately close to the edge. Kakashi held Sasuke close against his chest, Sasuke had his arms around Kakashi's neck. Their kisses were slow and gentle just as they movements were. Sasuke had never in his life felt this amazing before. He had no idea it could ever feel like this. The first time Kakashi was forced to have sex with him felt life altering, but this was something completely different. This felt like a tender love. Like their souls were connecting. It was overwhelming and amazing. Sasuke felt the heat in the pit of his stomach turn into an inferno. Sasuke's panting picked up as he felt like he was about to explode. He could feel Kakashi getting even harder. Sasuke couldn't stop moaning as his walls tightened around Kakashi's dick as Sasuke cam long and hard.
"Kakashi." Sasuke moaned.
Sasuke cumming was all Kakashi needed to be pushed over the edge himself.
"Sasuke." Kakashi moaned as he pushed deep inside of Sasuke and cam hard.
At the feel of Kakashi's warm cum filling him up Sasuke felt like he was being cleansed. Cleansed of all the other men that had ever touched him. Once Sasuke stopped pulsing he placed his forehead against Kakashi's as they both tried to get their breathing under control. Sasuke felt all lightheaded and his body was weak and shaky. Sasuke felt like he was completely stoned. Kakashi pulled Sasuke in for a gentle kiss before he pulled back, also breathing heavy.
"Are you ok?" Kakashi said.
"My whole body is tingling."
Kakashi gave a small chuckle to that. "That's a good thing."
"How are you?"
"I'm great right now."
Sasuke looked right at Kakashi and did his best to even his breathing out. "Thank-you for this."
"You're welcome. If he shows again before Naruto can kill him, you just remember this. You block out what he's doing to you and you remember this right here, right now."
"Promise."
Sasuke took in one last deep breath before he slowly moved to get off from Kakashi. He was a little sore, but Sasuke had expected that. Once Sasuke was off Kakashi he got up and went over to his bed and sat down. His legs were all shaky still and he was still feeling lightheaded. Kakashi stood and Sasuke noticed he was having a hard time as well, but his body recovered quicker. Kakashi went over to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Sasuke waited until Kakashi was done before he forced himself up off the bed to do the same. When Sasuke came out Kakashi was dressed once again. Sasuke grabbed some clean clothes. Once dressed he curled under the covers as he could already feel the cold returning to his body. Kakashi went and sat down on the edge of the bed as Sasuke spoke.
"How are Shikamaru and Kiba?"
"As well as to be expected. From what I have heard they both are spending all their time in bed or in the shower. They both take about six showers a day. Do you do that?" Kakashi asked gently.
"Turn the hot water on all the way and stand there until the water goes cold. It helps to get rid of the hands for a few minutes, but that's about it. How does someone get past it?"
"I wish I had that answer for you Sasuke. All I know is that you need to be around family and friends that can help get you through it. Shikamaru has his parents there for him. I'm worried about Kiba. Tsume was able to collect Akamaru's body, but Kiba is devastated by losing him. It's going to be harder on him to get past it."
"It's just a dog though."
"To a cat person, yes. But to Kiba, that was his best friend. It's like losing an arm. He'll never be whole without him around. It's hard to move forward when you don't know what the future will hold."
"How do you do it then? How do you plan a future?" Sasuke asked with genuine confusion.
"Especially a future you never expected to have?" Kakashi asked gently.
"I don't want to hope. I can't take the disappointment anymore. I don't want to hope, but I keep finding myself hoping for a few seconds randomly throughout the days. I knew before that I would be died at the end of this. Now there could be a future and that scares me."
"Of course it does Sasuke. It's only natural for you to be scared of the unknown. You gave up on the hope for a future years ago. Now you have that hope again and it's only natural that you would be feeling overwhelmed with it all. It's good to hope Sasuke. You know Naruto won't let you down. You know he won't stop until he gets this done. You can allow yourself to hope a little."
"I don't even know where to start to figure out a future. It's not just me I have to plan for, but Kira as well."
"You start by making simple decisions and it builds from there. Like what village do you want to live in? Once you make a few decisions the rest just falls into place."
"Where is easy, it would be the Sun Village. I owe them everything I can't just up and leave, even after the human trafficking is taken care of."
"It makes sense that you would want to stay there afterwards. You've been putting in a lot of time and resources to help them. I think they would really appreciate it if you stuck around. Make that village your home."
"They're still going to need a lot of help. There's potential there though to be something more. Build a house and settle there. What about you? Naruto is awake now, logically he could be the Hokage at his age. What will you do?"
"I'm not sure. I will be training Naruto to take over though. I have no desire to be Hokage. After that I'm not sure. I know I want to be involved in these villages. I'll decide what comes next for me after this is over."
"Looks like I'm not the only one that has to figure out a future."
"No you are not. I know you are scared, worried and hurt, but underneath all of that aren't you the least bit excited for it. You get to raise Kira. Celebrate birthdays and Christmas together. Aren't you excited for any of it?"
"When I let myself be. I think about building a house and taking her shopping for her new room and buying lots of toys. Orochimaru needs to be gone though, then maybe it will start to feel real."
"It will. You just need to wait until you know that you are safe before your mind will allow you to truly dream. It should be soon. You haven't been eating."
Sasuke gave a shrug as he answered. "Not hungry."
"I know, but you need to try and eat something at least once a day. Even if it is just soup or something. You need food into you, especially with you using. Have you been using more than normal?"
"Ya. I don't sleep very well anymore. I fell asleep at Shikamaru's place when I saw him. That was three days ago and I haven't been able to sleep since."
"Shikaku didn't tell me you slept there. How was it?"
"Unintentional. I went for the seal and then Shikamaru and I got talking. We fell asleep in his bed. That was the last time I ate too. His mom made us breakfast and she wouldn't let me leave until I ate something. She called me sweetie." It was clear to Kakashi that Sasuke was confused by Yoshino's words and acts of kindness towards him.
"Some people in the world Sasuke are just good. Some people were born to be parents. They see children for what they are, children. Even at your age, you are a young adult, sixteen. All Yoshino sees when she looks at you isn't what you want the world to see. She sees a sixteen year old in pain and trying to make the world a better place. To top it off, you saved her son's life. You saved him from Hell. To her you are now her son and she is going to make sure you are taken care of whenever she gets the chance to. She is a mom through and through."
"She has no idea what things I've done. What things he made me do to people." Sasuke said with a broken edge to his voice.
"And it wouldn't change her opinion of you Sasuke. She has seen the good in you. She knows for a fact that it is there. There is nothing that that monster has done to you or forced you to do that would ever change her mind about you. Change my mind about you. Sasuke, I know that once Orochimaru is dead that not everything is going to magically be better. You went through your own level of hell for the past three and a half years. I know you have a long way to go until you are past it all. But you can always talk to me. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that you could tell me that would ever make me hate you or think less of you. You can always talk to me."
"I know, it's just not easy to talk about. I've forgotten or blocked so much of it out with the heroin. I think that is what scares me the most. What I've managed to forget, what I'll remember."
"All you can do is take it one memory at a time Sasuke. At least with you having to cut back slowly you'll have that chance to work on the memories as they come up instead of all at once. It might not seem too bad that way. There's also no guarantee you would even get most of the memories back. You've been using for three years now Sasuke, there's no telling what long lasting effects from the heroin you will have. You're lucky it hasn't affected your heart."
"I know. It's probably why I'm cold all the time."
"Probably has something to do with it. Your body is rundown after the past three and a half years almost now. Plus the heroin can cause your body to react this way. It will get worse if you don't take proper care of yourself. You need to be eating and sleeping right."
"You're one to talk. You don't look well rested yourself tonight." Sasuke pointed out.
"I haven't been sleeping much recently. Between my Hokage duties and research on trying to get those seals off from you, it doesn't leave much time for sleeping. I'll be fine, it's only for a little while."
"You can sleep here tonight if you want or I could send you back to your own bed."
"If you don't mind the company, I'd like to stay with you."
"I don't mind. The only time I seem to be able to sleep anymore is with someone beside me. Never used to have that problem."
"You've been through a lot recently Sasuke. You've also discovered what has truly been happening to you. It is only natural that you are having a difficult time right now. I will never have a problem with sleeping beside you." Kakashi said as he got up and went around to the other side of the bed and got in after he removed parts of his clothing.
Sasuke laid down and Kakashi pulled him into his chest.
"I told Shikamaru about Naruto being awake." Sasuke admitted.
"You did? What brought that on?" Kakashi was shocked that Sasuke would release that information to anyone considering how close he had been playing all of this to his chest.
"I wasn't planning on it. It just kinda came out. He won't tell anyone. He's been really good about keeping everything a secret. We were just talking and it came out."
"You both have gone through something similar. He has also been a silent support to you recently. It makes sense that you find yourself confiding in him and becoming friends. You need people around you Sasuke for you to push through what has happened to you and make you want to fight to live. Shikamaru would be a good choice."
"I'm not looking for friends."
"I know, but sometimes friends find each other during unlikely times. It's not a bad thing and I'm not saying you two are going to be close, but don't close yourself off either to the idea that maybe one day you both will be friends. Or that you could have friends with someone one day."
"I think I'll just focus on getting through tomorrow before I start thinking about anything further than that."
"That's good though Sasuke. Even for you to just be thinking about tomorrow is an improvement to you only thinking about the next hour. I know you don't want to hope, but it's safe to hope a little Sasuke. Naruto has accomplished a lot, you know that. He's not about to fail with something like this."
"He's never killed before. I never wanted to put him in that position. He doesn't have the heart for it."
"He doesn't have the heart for an ordered kill. But Naruto will do anything he can to protect people, especially the people he considers to be family. Will it be hard on him, yes, but he will cope with it and come to terms with the kill. And you didn't put him in any position. He placed himself there. He loves you like a brother and he will love that little girl like his own niece. He's not about to stand around and let either one of you be hurt, not while he has the power to do something to stop it. It's his choice Sasuke."
"It still doesn't seem fair though. Having to hide who he is from everyone, even Sakura. He'll have to do it for nine months. It's too much to ask of someone."
"That's part of the reason why you had him in that jitsu. You knew he would help and you didn't want to unintentionally hurt him." Kakashi said with understanding in his voice.
"It's not easy having to be someone you aren't. I wanted better for him. Now it's out of my control."
"Naruto will be able to handle it. He knows what is at risk. He knows how important all of this is. He's not doing this just for you. He's doing it for every single person within those villages. Naruto will do this and he will come out of it without a single regret Sasuke. It will also be good for him to get to see just what kind of power a Great Nation has in a different sense. He will learn a lot more during these next nine months that he ever would during three years of Hokage training. This is a good thing Sasuke. You'll see that soon."
"Maybe. It's too late now regardless."
"It'll be ok Sasuke. You'll see that one day. For now we sleep and worry about it all tomorrow." Kakashi said as he placed a kiss to the top of Sasuke's head.
Sasuke curled into Kakashi's chest more and Kakashi wrapped his arms around Sasuke. He could feel the cold in Sasuke, even through the shirt. Kakashi couldn't help, but be concerned, Sasuke shouldn't be so cold all the time and it seemed to be getting worse. Kakashi didn't know if the heroin was causing this, but he would need to look into it a little and see. With Sasuke barely eating and sleeping his body was already going to start to get rundown, but with the heroin it would make it worse. It was possible his body being colder was a result of those things. Kakashi would need to keep an eye on it and see if it got any worse. For tonight Kakashi was able to hold Sasuke in his arms and make sure he was at least getting some sleep. Tomorrow he would make sure Sasuke had some breakfast before he would need to get back to the office and get back to work.
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It was just after seven the next night when Sasuke found himself summoning himself to Konoha, more specifically to Kiba's house. Sasuke hadn't seen Kiba since he rescued him from his captors along with Shikamaru. Sasuke couldn't understand it, but something inside of him wouldn't stop worrying about Kiba. Sasuke figured he would check in with Kiba just to settle his own worrying mind. Sasuke looked around to make sure he was alone on the street. He didn't want anyone to think he was close to Kiba and give Kiba any problems. Once Sasuke was certain he was alone he went over to the door and knocked. After a moment Tsume opened the door and Sasuke could tell she was not happy. Tsume didn't say anything she just stood off to the side and allowed Sasuke to walk into her house. Sasuke walked in and Tsume closed the door as he spoke.
"I'm not here to cause you any problems." Sasuke started"
"I know Sasuke. Kakashi has told me some of what has been going on. I know you are doing all of this to protect the smaller villages."
"Kakashi wasn't supposed to tell you anything." Sasuke said with a slight edge of annoyance to his voice.
"It's not his fault. I didn't give him a choice. I was going to find answers one way or another. My way would have put the villages at risks. He didn't have a choice but to tell me. You here to check in on Kiba?"
"Kakashi said he wasn't doing well. For some reason I can't understand, I'm worried. I thought seeing him might help."
"You're worried because you rescued him from a hell. It's called human emotions Sasuke. And he's not doing well. I caught him drinking last night. He's been doing it for a few days now. Sneaking the liquor that I had in the house or that his sister left behind. He's not ok."
"Is it worse because of Akamaru?"
"Yes he is mourning as well. I know Uchihas tend to be cat people and you don't tend to have a connection to your animals. But within my Clan we grow up around dogs. We treat them as part of our family and in return they watch our backs. They are our partners in the field. We rely on each other. Losing Akamaru is like losing a best friend and a brother all wrapped up in one. He lost part of himself that day and he'll never be able to get it back. He'll never be able to fill that hole within him. It can be devastating. I've had friends committing suicide after losing their dog. It's a deep connection we share with our dog or dogs. It's hard to explain unless you are within a clan that uses ninja dogs." Tsume explained hoping that would help Sasuke understand slightly.
"I never knew the connection was so deeply shared. I thought they were treated as another weapon and not a family member. Like you said though, I'm not interested in dogs. Cats like to keep their distance. You found Akamaru correct?"
"Yes, my daughter, Hana, went with her hounds to collect his body. We buried him in the family plot with the other hounds that we have lost over the generations. He has a place he can mourn at least."
"Who knows about it? About Akamaru?"
"No one yet. We've kept quiet about it. It's Kiba responsibility to share that news when he is ready for it to be shared. Its very much private within the clan. Only myself, Hana and obviously Shikamaru and Kakashi know that he is gone. And yourself of course. Are you concerned about someone asking what happened?"
"Just trying to get all of the information. I don't like surprises. Your daughter, she won't say anything?"
"No she won't. She's actually in the Sun Village. She left once she heard the truth behind what Konoha has done in the past. She wanted to go and help people and other animals. She's a vet as well as a ninja. She took her three dogs with her and went to the Sun Village first. She wants to go to the other villages as well to check on them. She won't say anything, she knows how important it is for Kiba to be the one to say it out loud first. It seems silly I know, but it's an important first step in the grief process."
"Everyone is entitled to grieve in their own way. May I see Kiba?"
"Of course. Maybe you'll be able to talk some sense into him. I don't want to lose my son, especially to something like this. His room is right upstairs, second door on the right. He's awake so don't let him fool you."
Sasuke just gave a nod and made his way towards the stairs and up them to reach Kiba's room. Sasuke didn't know how he felt about Kiba drinking. Sasuke knew that drinking could work just as well as heroin or any other drug, it would work to numb the pain and escape from reality, but Sasuke also knew the downside to it. He knew how easy it was to lose yourself in the escape and chase after it time and time again just so you wouldn't have to feel anything. Sasuke wasn't one to lecture or give advice though, he was still using heroin multiple times a day whether he needed it or not. Sasuke had no idea if he would even be able to quit if by some miracle Naruto was able to kill Orochimaru. Still though, there was a part in Sasuke's mind that was upset that Kiba would allow himself to sink so low. Sasuke always associated Kiba with being strong and stubborn. He reminded Sasuke a little bit like Naruto. Sasuke never expected for Kiba to do something like this, to drown his pain. Sasuke could see Kiba sneaking around with friends getting drunk at a party, but never something like this. It felt wrong to him.
Sasuke knocked on the bedroom door and wasn't surprised at all to not hear Kiba on the other side. Sasuke figured that he was trying to fool is mother into thinking he was asleep and then she wouldn't bother him. Sasuke wasn't about to come all this way just to turn around now. He needed to see Kiba, now more than ever, because Sasuke was thinking about doing something he swore he would never do. If he was going to take the risk and do something stupid, he at least was going to be seeing Kiba with his own eyes first. Sasuke opened the door and closed it behind him before he went over to the end of the bed. He looked down and saw that Kiba was on his left side facing the window with his eyes closed. The bedside light was on and Sasuke figured that Kiba hadn't been doing much in the room. He could smell the alcohol though, Sasuke knew Kiba had been drinking tonight. Sasuke knew that smell well from the Sound.
"You know it's rude to pretend to be asleep when someone comes to visit you." Sasuke started.
"It's rude to come into someone's room uninvited." Kiba snarled back as he kept in the same position with his eyes closed.
"That's no way to talk to someone who risked their life to save yours. The least you could do is turn and face me." Sasuke kept his voice sharp with an edge. This wasn't Shikamaru. Kiba wasn't going to react well to a softer tone. With Shikamaru Sasuke felt like he could be himself around him, but with Kiba Sasuke knew he would need to be the tough one in order to survive.
Kiba sat up and faced Sasuke as he spoke. "So that's how it's going to be from now on. You rescued me and now I'll owe you for the rest of my life. I have no interest in being someone's bitch. So you can get the hell out of my room and leave me alone."
"I have no need for a bitch. You don't owe me a damn thing. I expected better from you though. If I thought that was what would break you I wouldn't have bothered getting you out. There's no point in going through the hassle of rescuing someone if they are just going to turn into a pathetic excuse of a person."
"Pathetic eh? I guess you would see it that way. I'm trying to get my head around what happened to me and grieve the loss of my best friend. But you wouldn't know anything about loss or torture Mr. Perfect." Kiba snarled.
"Ya, I only buried my whole family and spent three years with Orochimaru. You're right, what would I know about loss and torture?" Sasuke snapped back.
"And look where it got you. Hated by the whole world. All alone in your little fortress with no one. At least I have people that care about me."
"Exactly. You have people in your life that care about you. They care about whether you get past what happened to you. They care about whether you turn into a pathetic drunk over what happened. You have a whole family worrying themselves sick over you."
"I'm allowed time to deal with my own shit. I'm allowed to be fucked up right now. You don't know anything about what happened to us. You don't get to judge me for trying to forget about it for a little while. So what if I drink. It's the only thing that helps. You don't know what it's like to want to forget, to need to forget so fucking badly that your whole body hurts."
Sasuke moved and unzipped his jacket and pulled his left arm out, showing Kiba as he spoke.
"These marks are from needles, from injecting heroin. You drink to escape. I shoot poison into my veins just to be able to breathe through the day. You got to get rescued, you got the pain to stop happening to you. No one was there to rescue me. You don't know a damn thing about me or what truly has happened for the past three and a half years. What really happened the night I left. But I didn't get to get rescued. I got stuck in Hell staring at a door begging for it to open and have anyone but that bastard walk through it. I'm not judging you."
Sasuke moved and put his jacket back on and did it up. He could see the shock all over Kiba's face and the anger that was flooding his eyes was gone. After a moment Kiba was finally able to get his voice back.
"What's it feel like?"
"What it used to feel like and what it feels like now are different. In the beginning I felt amazing It wasn't forced on me, I went looking for it. I tried different drugs until finally heroin worked. It made me escape from reality. Nothing bothered me. I didn't feel anything. I was numb just floating in the air. It started off with just once every few days and now I'm lucky if I go six hours most days without feeling like I need it to get through the next six hours. Somedays I go twelve hours without it, but those days are more rare now. The effects don't last as long. It's getting harder to numb the pain out. I have to do more to get the original result. Sometimes I do it because if I don't I'll go through withdrawals. Depends on the day."
"How long have you been doing it?"
"About three years now."
"Shit. Why keep doing it?"
"Because it's the only way I know how to cope with what's happened. It's blocking a lot of memories and if I slow down or quit they'll all come flooding back and I don't know how to deal with them. At the time I thought it was the best choice to make. I thought if I couldn't feel anything then nothing would bother me. That I would survive. I never thought it would reach this point. That it would get this bad that I would crave it like I do. That I would go through withdrawals if I didn't have it I thought I could control it. That I was somehow stronger and better than all the other drug addicts in the Sound. But I'm not. No one is. I wish I could go back and tell the younger me not to do it. To find another way, any other way to cope and survive."
"But you can't."
"No I can't, but I can tell you. Whiskeys not the same I get it, but Kiba trust me when I say it will have the same result. If you don't find another way to cope with what happened you will end up a drunk homeless on the street. And then they win. They would have taken your life just like they wanted to do. I didn't think you were the type of person to just roll over and let someone kill you."
"I don't know how to cope with it. I don't know how to keep going when Akamaru is gone and all I have left is this gaping hole in my chest. I don't sleep because when I do I have nightmares, but the worst past is when I wake up I roll over to hug Akamaru and he's not there. He was my coping mechanism and now he's gone and I don't know what to do." Kiba admitted as he slumped back against his headboard.
"You get to be upset. You get to hide away from the world for a little while. Shikamaru is doing the exact same thing. But take it from someone that knows, drinking will only make it worse. It's better to deal with it in the beginning then down the road when everything has been intensified and so much harder to talk about. You can't let them win. Especially when there are hundreds of other kids, younger than you trapped in that same very Hell you were in."
"There's more?" Kiba asked confused.
"There are. A whole organization is out there kidnapping children as young as three and putting them through what you went through. Selling them off to the highest bidder. Hundreds of kids are out there believing that no one will ever get them free. Just waiting for the day their abuser kills them."
"Holy shit." Kiba said with pain all throughout his voice.
"They could use someone strong and brave like you Kiba. They could use a rescuer. But they have no use for someone too drunk to get out of bed. Feel hurt and sorry for yourself, get it all out. But don't wallow too long because they need you. A lot of innocent children do. Don't let them down."
Sasuke could see that Kiba needed some time to digest all of this so Sasuke snapped his fingers and he was gone. Sasuke placed himself just outside as he didn't want to go too far. Sasuke had to save his energy for what he had planned. Sasuke made his way towards where the Inuzuka pet cemetery was. Anyone in Konoha knew where it was so Sasuke wouldn't have to worry about trying to find it. He was about to do something that was taboo, but at this point Sasuke figured it would be the lesser law broken in his very long list. He had never done something like this before, but he knew how from a book he read in the Uchiha Temple. It would take a great deal of chakra and energy from him so Sasuke had to be careful with how much he expelled before the jitsu was complete. Sasuke was hoping he wouldn't have to do this, but it seemed like Kiba was worse off than Kakashi had been led to believe. If Kiba was ever going to recover and move past what happened to him he needed something first to push him in the right direction. Sasuke was just going to hope he was able to do this.
When Sasuke arrived at the cemetery he went over to the shed where the grounds keeper would keep the shovels. He grabbed one and then made his way through the cemetery looking at all of the headstones for the one he needed. Sasuke found it in the far back left hand corner of the cemetery, something Sasuke was thankful for as it was very dark and well hidden. Sasuke looked down at the headstone as he spoke.
"Well Akamaru, time to bring you back to life."
Sasuke shoved the shovel into the freshly placed grass and started to dig.
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It was just after midnight when Sasuke stumbled into Kiba's house once again. He had picked the lock though as he was running low on chakra and energy. He was saving the last bit that he had to get back to his own place. Sasuke was not only exhausted he was freezing. He felt like he was in the Village of Snow without any clothes on. He couldn't stop shivering no matter how hard he tried. It was a success though. Akamaru was standing beside him alive and well once again. He was filthy, covered in dirt and dry blood, but he was healthy and alive. Once inside the house Tsume's dog, Kuromaru started barking his warning. Akamaru barked back. For a second the whole house was quiet before two doors were thrown wide open and Sasuke looked up to see Kuromaru, Tsume and Kiba running down the hallway to reach the top of the stairs. The three of them were frozen at the sight that greeted them.
"Akamaru?" Kiba whispered softly.
Akamaru didn't even waste a second before he was bounding for the stairs playfully barking at Kiba and wagging his tail. Kuromaru jumped and stopped Akamaru on the stairs with a growl. Akamaru stood still as Kuromaru sniffed him and walked all around him.
"Kuromaru." Tsume questioned waiting to see what the hell was going on.
"It's him. I don't know how, but it's him. He's alive." Kuromaru said before he went and pressed his head against Akamaru, who easily returned the gesture.
Kiba and Tsume went down the few steps to the dogs and Kiba looked at Akamaru, who turned his attention to Kiba. The second their eyes locked Kiba's began to water as he saw his best friend staring back at him. Kiba wrapped his arms around Akamaru's neck and let out a shaky breath when his arms didn't go right through.
"You're here. You're really here." Kiba said as he openly cried into Akamaru's neck.
Akamaru nusselled Kiba's neck himself to try and offer what little comfort he could to his human. Tsume stood up and looked at Sasuke. She could see he was having some difficulties but he was still able to stand. She moved down the rest of the stairs with her dog right behind her.
"How?" She asked Sasuke gently and still in shock.
"There's an ancient Uchiha technique to bring someone back from the dead. It's one of the first techniques that were ever forbidden within the world. I was only able to do it because animals hold no souls. Otherwise it would have been impossible. He's fully healthy, you can have your daughter check him out. But he's healed from what happened. He'll probably be tired for a few days and you should probably be careful with his stomach. It hasn't had any food since his death. That would be a question for a vet. No one can know though. His death has to be like it never happened." Sasuke answered with a shaky voice.
Kiba and Akamaru joined them down in the living room.
"Why did you do this? You look terrible, why put yourself through this just to bring him back?" Kiba was so confused right now he didn't even know what to think. All he could think about was that his best friend was alive and with him again.
"Because you need him. I was hoping you would heal without him, but you won't. Your heart won't allow it. I don't understand why you have such a strong bond with an animal, but you do. You need to get better. I need you to get better. There's a fight coming and I need you in it. Those children need you in it. Akamaru was the only way to make that happen."
"I'll let Hana know right away. She won't say anything. Shikamaru and Kakashi know though." Tsume started.
"I'll deal with them. They won't say anything. The stone is still there."
"I'll handle it. I'll make sure his death is erased. Sasuke, I don't know how I'll ever repay you for this." Tsume said shocked at the turn of events. At the length that Sasuke went to help her son.
"Just the both of you be ready. You're a part of a secret war now. Be there when the call comes."
"What war?" Kiba asked.
"You're mother will fill you in. You can tell your daughter, but it has to stay quiet. The more than know the greater the risk of it getting out."
"It won't. I'll let her know. She won't risk the villages getting hurt. And I'll explain everything I know to Kiba. We'll be ready for whenever you need us."
"Whatever you need Sasuke, I'll get better and be ready for it." Kiba promised.
"Focus on getting better. And remember those children need you. Use your anger to get you through the hard parts. Let it drive you and push you forward when you feel like you can't hold on any longer. It will work as long as you don't let it consume you."
"I'll figure it out. You gave me Akamaru back. I'll listen to the advice you would have given your younger self. I'll figure it out Sasuke, I promise."
"Sasuke, you don't look well. You should spend the night here and recover from whatever jitsu you used." Tsume said concerned for Sasuke's health.
"I'll be ok. I can summon myself back to my place. I'll be fine with some sleep."
"Are you sure?" Kiba asked not really comfortable with Sasuke being on his own.
"Ya. I'll check in on you every now and then and see how you are doing. If you need me for something let Kakashi know."
"We will. Go get some sleep Sasuke. Your body needs the rest." Tsume said as her motherly instincts were kicking into full gear.
Sasuke snapped his fingers and disappeared before them.
"I can't believe this just happened." Kiba said still amazed and in shock by all of this.
"I can't either, but it has. That smell is proof enough."
"Ya he does smell pretty bad." Kiba agreed with a very small smile. "What is this war about? Does it have to do with what happened to me?"
"It does. But it is not a story for tonight I'll tell you about it tomorrow with Hana. Tonight, Akamaru needs a bath and then you both need to get some sleep. We can talk it out tomorrow."
"I'm really sorry about the drinking Ma." Kiba said with regret.
"I wasn't really mad, I was worried. I don't want you to drown your sorrows it won't help in the long run."
"I know it won't. Sasuke set me straight. I won't do it again. I'm gonna figure out how to cope with this the right way, even if it is the harder way."
"Good, I'm very proud of you. And now you have Akamaru back and he can help you get through it just like I will. We'll get through this as a family. Fresh start right here. And the first order of business is getting that smelly pup bathed so we can get some sleep." Tsume said with a warm smile.
"You hear that boy, you are getting a bath." Kiba said as he patted Akamaru's head.
Akamaru barked and it was clear to the others he didn't care what happened as long as he was going to be around them. Kiba knew he would need to talk to Akamaru and see what happened to him while he was dead, but for tonight they would focus on getting him cleaned enough so they could all get some sleep. Kiba had a feeling they were going to need it. Whatever was going on, he needed to heal and be ready for it. He knew it was going to be extremely hard, but he was too stubborn to turn away. He wasn't going to let these bastards win.
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Sasuke found himself popping into Shikamaru's room. He didn't expect it as he had thought he was summoning himself to his bedroom. As Sasuke arrived he felt a wave of dizziness hit him and he stumbled into the dresser causing not only a bang, but some books to fall and hit the floor. With the night being so late and quiet the bang sounded like a firework going off. Shikamaru shot up in bed and saw Sasuke across from him. Shikamaru had left the bedside light on to help him sleep better at night ever since the attack. He could just make out Sasuke and he could see that Sasuke wasn't ok. Shikamaru spoke as he got up and went over to Sasuke.
"Sasuke, what's wrong?"
His bedroom door opened and reveal a very concerned Shikaku. It was clear in Shikaku's eyes that he thought Shikamaru was in danger. The concern didn't go away when he noticed what state Sasuke was in. Shikaku turned the lights on and it did nothing to ease anyone's worry. Sasuke was pale, too pale. His lips were slightly blue and his whole body was shaking. Shikaku went over to Sasuke as he spoke.
"What happened?"
"I used too much chakra. I summoned myself back to the base, I don't know how I got here." Sasuke said with a weak and shaky voice.
"You ran out of chakra. Your seal probably brought you to the closest place you've summoned yourself to before. You need sleep more than anything right now. Your chakra is dangerously low." Shikaku said as he placed a supportive hand on Sasuke's left arm and slowly guided Sasuke over to the bed.
Shikamaru pulled the covers back from the other side of the bed as Shikaku got Sasuke to sit down. Sasuke's whole body was trembling and his teeth were chattering. He was so cold he didn't even know what to do.
"You need sleep Sasuke. It's going to help." Shikaku said as he gently guided Sasuke to lay down.
Sasuke was too cold and too exhausted to argue. He simply laid down and allowed Shikaku to place the blanket over him. He closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to take over him.
"Is he going to be ok?" Shikamaru asked with worry in his voice.
"He should be. He just needs sleep. Normally I would take him to the hospital, but it's not safe there for him. He should start to feel better tomorrow."
"And if he doesn't?"
"I'll let Kakashi know in the morning. He should feel better once his chakra starts to recover. I don't know what he did, but hopefully it wasn't something we'll all regret."
"It might not be that bad." Shikamaru said trying to ease his father's worry.
"He'll probably sleep the rest of the night away. You should get some sleep yourself son. He's safe here."
"Everything is getting so crazy."
"I know. But this isn't Sasuke's fault. He fell into this just like we have. He shouldn't have to do it all alone."
"I know. I just never expected all of this to happen when we went to fight a war. Everything is completely different now and I don't see how it could ever go back to what it used to be. How Konoha could ever feel the same again."
"That is something we need to talk about as a family, but tonight is not the right time for it. We both need sleep." Shikaku got up off the bed and it was clear to Shikamaru just how exhausted his own father was.
"I love you Dad."
"I love you too Son. Try and sleep, you need it."
"So do you. I'll be ok. We'll be ok." Shikamaru said with a nod towards Sasuke.
"I'll see you in the morning."
"Good night."
Shikaku made his way out of the bedroom and back into his. He was hoping that Sasuke would be alright after everything that happened tonight. He would be able to hopefully get some answers out of Sasuke tomorrow morning. Shikamaru went over and turned off the bedroom light before going back over to the bed and crawling in. He turned so he could lay on his right side and be able to face Sasuke just in case something happened. Shikamaru had no idea what to think about any of this, but at least Sasuke was safe here. Tomorrow they would be able to get to the bottom of whatever happened. For now they were both safe. Tomorrow would bring forth its own problems to be worked through.