Chapter 10:

Edward's P.O.V

To my fellow readers, sorry for the delay I had a lot of things going on. Pray for me my IGCSE results are in two days time.

"And for any victim of a violent crime, when you actually get to go in and realize and see their faces and know that they can't hurt you any more, there is no feeling like that. It finally frees you from a lot of demons."~Patty Hearst

I was dead tired. The thought of sleeping was so assuring. I was planning on sleeping next to Bella on an arm-chair, she wouldn't have it. She brought a sofa bed and I scooted it closer to her bed.

I suspected that her sleep wasn't quietly peaceful, so I decided that I have to witness it.

I laid down for a bit after wishing Bella a good night. I have to think about the 'Tanya' thing.

I don't get why she freaked out on me I didn't like it. I know that I have to stop this nonsense. But I have to be sure that I am doing the right choice. My parents will never forgive me, Carlisle mostly.

I have to be sure I don't love her. I already know that I don't. Why am I hesitating then? I just don't want to lose her all together. I've known her all of my life, I know she's annoying as hell but I love her, not in love, but I love her as an old friend. And there's Bella. I hate to admit that I like her. She's in no condition to this with all this.

Her father will probably kill me before he let me lay one finger on her. I bet he'll make sure that I can't enter the state she's staying in.

I can't deal with all of that now, maybe later. Not maybe. Surely maybe.

I was about to drown into sleep when I heard a small whimper and felt Bella's bed jerk a little.

I shook the soft blue blanket off me and rose to sit up and observe closely.

Bella had a thin line of sweat on her forehead that makes her hair strays stick slightly.

I thought of waking her up but voted it against it. I have to see where this will go.

She begun to move and stir more, all while mumbling a little!

I have found it!

She talks in her sleep!

Of course she can. How idiotic of me not to think that before! The mental barrier her mind puts around her mouth is not there while she sleeps. I have to hear what she is saying.

"No, Jake. I can't"

It comes out as a whisper I begin to question if I've really heard it.

Who's "Jake"?

I feel my body tightens with a bad feeling. Why is she dreaming about "Jake"? It took me second to realize that this feeling was jealousy. I can't believe that!

I have never felt this way before, not with Tanya.

Saying his name was all it took for me to get up the sofa bed and go for her bed and sit silently. I have to be closer, she seems scared.

I approach her more and she seems to still with comfort so I take this as an invitation for me to go closer.

I kept going one step at a time until I've found myself holding Bella in my arms.

She didn't seem to mind. Actually she laid her hand above my chest and snuggled in.

I felt her heartbeat slowing and her ragged breaths even. Her body completely relaxed into me.

I have slept with Tanya before, in both meanings. But I have never watched her react to in me this way. I realize that holding Bella wasn't just comforting her, but comforting me too on some level.

I took the courtesy to close my eyes and rest my head on Bella's.

I took only few more minutes for Bella to stir again and begin thrusting and turning in bed all while screaming "Get off. Get off of me now you sick pig!"

My eyes shot open. Was she screaming at me for lying next to her? Was she that disgusted by the thought of me in her bed.

I was just about to start on my million apologies when I looked at her face just to discover that her eyes were actually closed.

That did it for me.

I have to wake her up, now.

"Bella, come on. Bella please." I pushed her strayed hair away trying to make her regain conscious.

Still I get no sign of her waking up.

"Please, Bella"

I hear my voice rising.

"Bella, wake the hell up!"

I'm sweating bulls as I am shaking her almost violently. She decides that I've had enough time struggling and finally woke up.

I take an eyeful of her then feel myself exhale. I closed my eyes for a second then feel myself draw her to me tightly. I have to know what the fuck this "Jake" did to her!

After being reassured that she's really fine I pulled away and said "Are you okay?"

She nodded and mouthed 'I'm sorry' with her eyes closed. So we are back to mouthing and not actually saying the words.

"Don't you ever say sorry to me ever again!"

I couldn't understand the possibility that she is apologizing for having a bad dream. She can't be real.

I said the word before calculating the after math "Bella, I know I promised I won't push you to tell me anything. But I'm telling you that we won't get any sleep tonight if you won't tell me what happened in that dream."

I held her hand reassuring her that I am going nowhere.

Bella had tears in her eyes, and then she nodded. I have never been this happy to see her nod. She is finally going to give up to me and tell me what happened to her that made her so closed up from the world. I must have done something right in this lifetime. Thank you, God.

I decided that I won't tell her that I have actually heard her pretty voice in her 'sleep'. She won't be comfortable around me so I thought I'd give her some more time about this issue.

She pointed for me to get up and get her iPad. I went immediately, regretting the loss of contact.

She took the iPad from me and started typing furiously. She gave me the thing and pointed with her chin for me to read.

'Edward, you are the only one I can trust now. I know more about than I know about anyone. You must promise that you won't do anything with what I am about to tell you, not without my permission.'

I look at her and say "You know I never will do anything you don't want to do" I said with sincerity in voice.

I guess she trusted my words as she took the iPad from my hand and started typing again.

'After my mother died, Edward, I went through a really dark place. I couldn't talk for few months. Until..Jacob came along. He was my father's best friend's son. They just came back from Spain to stay in Washington for good. His father was tired of traveling all around. He was older than me with few years, maybe your age. We instantly became best friends and grew up together, he is the only reason I have ever talked again after the death of my mother. We even made our parents put us in the same school. High school came and we were growing fond of each other intimately. Jake took me out on few dates and our parents couldn't be happier. I fell hard in love with him. He was everything I have ever dreamt of, a real prince with his manners and poise. We had a sexual relationship when I agreed and was sure we were an item that would stand in wind's face.

When we were about 19 and in college Jake told me that he wanted to marry me but he couldn't because he have needs I can't attend to. I was young and foolery in love I told him that I would do anything for him. I wouldn't let him slip away. I won't lose him like I've lost Renee. Can we finish this in another day? I am exhausted' I finished the text and looked at Bella to see her tired face looking back with exasperation. I couldn't argue with her.

"We can finish in another day, Bella." And gave her a small smile.

I gave myself the courtesy to lay back on her bed. I waited for her to object, but she didn't. I opened my arms for her to come back and she did!

I closed my eyes and sighed leisurely. She is in my arms, nothing can get to her.

"Sleep, Angel. I am here to fight off the demons."

She hissed at the last word. Maybe that was what the ream about, demons?

We'll talk about that later. I want her to rest now.

After reading what Bella wrote I couldn't handle all the emotions I had in the same time. I was dizzy with jealousy over this Jake. He is the reason we are in this mess, I could be more sure. But he was also responsible I were here, in a sick way I was grateful for that.

Bad thoughts were swimming in my head, distracting me. Making me mad, making me see red.

I was degusted with the way Bella talked of him. He made her talk and I couldn't. Well, at least not yet.

I made a mental promise to myself at that thought. I will get you to talk Bella.

Thanks to my readers :)

RiNo'S17