"Why are you still alive? You know you're existence is just troublesome for everyone," my mother's voice sighed, echoing in the darkness that I was enveloped in.
"I don't know," everything I felt now was just misery. Would it be better to just leave the world behind? Maybe, but wouldn't that just cause more trouble for everyone?
"You're so pathetic and worthless! I wish your father had let me kill you!"
My eyes shot open, being greeted by a bright room and a gray-haired man sitting with his head against the bed. His hand was entangled with mine and I couldn't help but smile. He sat up slowly, a yawn escaping his slightly parted lips. Dark bags laid under his beautiful violet eyes.
"Misaki," he muttered groggily. After a moment of him being in a haze, his eyes shot open in surprise and he jumped up like the rabbit he was. "Misaki! You're awake!" I felt my headache like a bass drum was hit right next to my ear and I groaned. He quickly sat down and whispered a soft, "sorry."
"How long have I been out this time?" I asked, sighing slightly at the reminder of what had occurred to send me back to the damned hospital.
"A week," he sighed, reaching for my hand, which I moved out of his reach. I looked at his face, a glare in my eyes. When he looked up, I could see tears forming in his usual dry purple eyes. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to hurt you. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I love you and I swear to all the gods ever created that I will never hurt you again!"
I grimaced again, due to the sharp pain in my head. He looked down, repeating the apology quieter this time. I could see the serenity on his face and sighed, feeling my heart soften. What a pushover I'd become after all that's happened.
I reached out and grabbed Usagi's cold hand, smiling softly when he looked up in surprise. I motioned my head so he'd come closer. He didn't take a second to do as I instructed and as soon as he'd gotten close enough, I locked our lips together. I could feel his eyes widen as he stared at me, but my eyes stayed shut as I concentrated on the kiss.
"I believe you," I sighed when I'd finally let go of him. "I still love you." He responded with a soft smile, a few tears slipping from his perfect face.
"I just really feel so helpless because you aren't telling me what's going on," he whispered, setting his forehead against mine, cupping his hand over my cheek.
"I already told you that I can't," I repeated the same thing as always, feeling a heavy weight on my heart as I did. It hurt to keep this a secret since it was hurting Usagi so much.
"Is it that you can't or that you don't want to?" Usagi asked me and I looked at him, surprised at the question he'd asked. His face showed such pain, but even a blind man would be able to see just how much he wanted to understand.
"I can't," I answered, tears filling my tired eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't want anyone else to get hurt. I can't tell you." Usagi smiled at me, an understanding smile, a smile that didn't hide the pain he felt but changed it. He wiped at the stray tears that had slipped from my eyes.
"I love you, Misaki," my heart skipped a beat as he said the phrase I loved to hear. I'd missed that phrase, coming from the deep voice of the man I loved. As I thought about it, it scared me, even more, to think that at any moment, my parents could kill him and I'd never get to hear his deep voice again. It was terrifying to think that I'd never been able to see him, hear him, touch him, kiss him ever again. The more I thought about it, the more my heart stung and the more paranoid I became.
"Usagi-san…" I whispered, my eyes avoiding his as I spoke.
"Misaki?" Usagi noticed that I was going to say something very serious and I suppose he was worried.
"I'm scared," I sighed out, looking up to gain eye contact with the man. He looked surprised and worried all at once which made sense. "I don't want to lose you," tears started to slip down my eyes again. "I love you so much. It's terrifying to think that I'll lose you. I'm getting so paranoid because I don't want that to happen too soon. I want to love you for as long as I can. I don't want you to die because I didn't take enough precautions in keeping you safe."
"Misaki, I'm fine," Usagi began and I quickly started shaking my head.
"That's another problem, Usagi-san. I'm trying to keep you safe and yet, you're not even aware of how much danger you are in," I said softly, trying to hide the fact that I was breaking down with a smile, even though I was sobbing pathetically. "I need you to trust me that you're not fine. I'll never be happy if you're doing something that I know will get you killed."
"Misaki, if this has something to do with what happened…" I once again cut him off.
"It does," I said simply. "You are not safe now. I want to leave this neighborhood, leave this city, leave this COUNTRY even. I just don't want you to be in danger anymore! And I don't want to feel so paranoid every time you leave the house for a second!"
"If you want to leave the country, we're gone, understand me?" Usagi asked me, getting really close to me and keeping my eyes captive by his purple gaze. "All I'm asking for is a reason."
"I've been giving you a reason this entire time," I sobbed. "You're not safe here!"
"Why? Why am I not safe here? Do you think what happened to you will happen to me?"
"It doesn't matter if you tell us, Misaki. We have other people to ask," my dad's voice echoed in my mind. "Might as well make this easier on yourself and just tell us what we need to know."
"No! I think this is a lot more entertaining! Keep refusing!" mom giggled in reply. "I mean if you keep refusing, your precious big brother will be the next one on the list!"
"W-what, w-w-why?" I gasped out my response, unable to get my eyes to focus on either of my parents.
"Because we were lucky enough to have two boys who have good relationships with our next job, obviously," mom answered, a demonic laugh echoing around the room and inside my mind.
"W-why not j-just… get a d-different j-job?" I whined as the room began to spin.
"This job is much more fun!" mom squealed.
"It has good pay," dad corrected. "And we started long before you or your brother were born."
"Your father is such a boring man, baby Misaki," mom giggled, giving me a nice punch to the face. "After all, this is more fun than I've had in years. Who knew little baby Misaki could withstand torture?"
"Only for h-him," I whispered before another punch landed on my cheek.
"Remember, no matter how stubborn you are, baby boy, we'll still get to your precious Usami Akihiko and we'll be sure to kill him just as gruesomely as we're planning to do for you," mom teased before punching me one last time, making me black out completely.
"Yes, I do," I answered honestly. I was getting too exhausted to lie anymore. If we were careless, he would definitely end up in the exact same position as I was, except so much worse.
Manami walked through the door before Usagi could answer. She looked worn out but she gave me her usual smile when she saw I was awake.
"You finally woke up, Misaki," she sighed happily. "I'm so glad."
"Nee-chan, is something wrong?" I asked softly, sniffling away my runny nose.
"Oh, I'm fine. You haven't seen Takahiro recently, have you?" she asked, turning towards Usagi.
"No," Usagi answered, shaking his head. "Not since you both came to visit last time."
"Oh," she said softly before tears started to fall from her eyes. "I haven't seen him since then either."
My eyes widened, fear settling in the pit of my stomach.
"We need to find him right now!" I screamed, startling both Usagi and Manami.