First of all, what I want to say is that I am extremely sorry for the long pause in update. I've been terribly busy, I just got a new puppy and as well, I've been having a horrible case of writer's block. It quite confusing, I mean I know what I want to write but it's difficult for me to have it sound the way I wanted, so I do hope that you enjoy this chapter.
I just hope that each one of you can give me just a few more moments of you patience while I continue on with the rest of this story. I am getting there, thoughts are forming in my mind on how to continue so I hope my writer's block does get better.
Still keep in mind that if you want any changes with my story, don't be afraid to let me know, and I will try my best to work with it. In turn, all I ask that is you enjoy my story and reveiw. That would be fantastic. So thank you and enjoy my next chapter. (I apologize if it missing a few things inside, this was a difficult chapter)
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, it belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Chapter 9
"She's such a lovely girl Edward," Esme discussed with me as we waited for Bella to have her human moment. "I just can't help but wonder why she's so forlorn,"
I knew Esme was joyous to have a guest in her home, but that thought of why Bella was full of misery just couldn't leave my mind. I wanted to know what made her like this, why she couldn't smile, how can someone cause her such pain. This urge to help her was simply amazing, where did all these thoughts and feelings come from?
"I'm not sure either," was my simple reply to Esme's comment.
It was so hard for me to concentrate at this moment. Thoughts swirled in my mind and they were all directed at the situation that happened earlier. It seems like ever since I saw that girl, the moment I saw Bella, she couldn't leave my mind. Every thought, every feeling, everything in me was always about her. Just as how this moment, I was going crazy with curiosity on what caused that scene that had happened not to long ago.
What made her like that, to cause her such pain and sorrow? I could see through her eyes the horror within them, and for a moment I thought it was when she saw me, but I looked closer to notice that her fear came from within, perhaps some traumatic incident or something deeper.
"Edward?" Esme called out to me, breaking me out of my stupor.
I looked up, "When Bella comes out, show her around will you? I need to head down to the store quickly to pick up some groceries. Since we don't usually keep food around her, the things we do have aren't exactly that refreshing,"
Esme was right, since vampires didn't really eat human food; we wouldn't have the nourishment Bella needs for energy. Nodding to confirm to Esme's request, she smiled, bid farewell and a quick return, and exited the room.
Soon I was left alone and quickly receded back to my thoughts, my contemplation over who this girl was. As well, I also made sure to listen to the sounds coming from the bathroom, to assure everything was alright and nothing terrible would happen within and to the person inside.
Though it was only a few moments later, I couldn't understand why that it felt so long for Bella to exit the bathroom but she finally did and she was looking better then ever.
It was a wonder what a twenty minute rejuvenation period could do to you. It was almost as if a goddess had walked out, despite the fact that a few bruises and scratches marred Bella's skin where visible.
Her hair was slightly dripping from the shower water, and she was wearing the clothing that Esme had chosen and I took this time to drink in her beauty.
Her brown tresses were wavy and lush, matching her beautiful chocolate eyes and pale complexion magnificently. Through her loose clothing, her body, I could see now, was more pronounce and I just couldn't tear my eyes away from her radiance.
Almost everything about her looked absolutely perfect but then something caught my eye, something that was wrong with this majestic work of art that was before me.
It was handprints; large, meaty handprints that seemed to have imbedded themselves within Bella's neck.
With quick haste, I arose from my spot on her bed and strode over towards her. I was in such a hurry to get to her that I almost ran at an inhuman speed. Luckily my common sense was yelling at me for my foolish thinking and I restrained myself from that speed. It was be unwise to let her learn of our secret.
Though for some reason, a nagging voice bit at me from this thought, would it be unwise for her or for you?
I pushed that thought deep away, deciding to brood over it later when I stopped only a couple of steps away from Bella. It was far enough not to scare her from the close proximity but near enough to further inspect that deep purple mark upon her neck.
Moving closer, I lifted my hand to lightly brush against her neck. Her body shuddered at the touch and tried to get away but I wrapped my arm tightly against her to keep her still.
A low growl reverberated within my chest and I wouldn't be surprised if she could feel it but the anger and protectiveness was growing within me because of this single handprint. Someone had tried to choke her.
"Who did this to you?" my voice was low, and possibly dripping with venom.
There was no response to my question, she remained silent. Removing my eyes from the imprinted chokehold on her neck, I looked into her eyes to see them once more filled with fear.
I realized that my anger was scaring her and I removed my hand from her neck, but deciding to keep my arm around her though.
It wouldn't be very wise to scare her even more at this moment. I need to compose myself, regain my calm demeanor. I took in a deep breathe and spoke to her again, this time my voice was quieter and less hostile towards her, "What happened here?"
Bella slowly lifted her hand up to touch her neck, though she flinched away quickly once her hand made contact with it. "It was nothing," her voice was so soft I barely even heard it, and that was quite an extraordinary task when it came to vampire senses.
"Bella, please," I urged her, "Tell me who did this to you. I want to help you, protect you," I mentally scolded myself for saying such foolish things. Why, oh why didn't I keep my mouth shut?
Her big, sorrowful eyes stared at me with wonder and shock. Did I scare her? What was she thinking? I despised not being able to hear her thoughts, to know what she was feeling at this very moment.
"Y-you want to h-help me?" she spoke incredulously, and her voice still surprisingly soft. I nodded, "Please Bella, can you tell me?"
I could see through her eyes that her barrier was slowly fading away. The bits of bricks she built to hide herself behind was slowly crumbling. For reasons beyond my understanding, I want to be the one to bring that wall down; I want to be the one for her to come to in her times of pain. I want to be in her life.
Bella's beautiful eyes stared up into mine, and I could see that fear that built her wall, the pain and sorrow that helped. "I-I…" she was hesitant, and I could see that. "I-I can't," she looked away from me, and struggled to free herself, but I kept her firm with my arms around her waist.
But I had to get a hold of myself, by being this sudden and forward, I was probably terrifying her even more. I gave her a smile, in hopes to calm her down, it worked.
"It's alright Bella; you don't have to tell me now. It's just…" I looked her straight in the eye, "I want you to trust me. I promise you Bella, I won't ever, ever let you get hurt,"
There was a painstakingly quiet silence then overtook us. I was on edge, what did she think? Would she accept our family? Would she accept me?
Her timid voice broke the silence, "T-thank you,"
I let out a breath of air that I wasn't even aware that I was holding. Her eyes smiled up at me and right then did I notice that she never smiles. Her eyes would be her only way of showing other emotions while the rest of her facial expressions would show nothing but fear and pain.
Smiling back at her, I took her hands in mine, "Would you like a tour of my home Bella?" I asked her, and she lit up.
Grabbing her hand, though it was almost completely covered by her long black sleeve, I led her out of the room. Though my skin was terribly icy, I was surprised that even through the warm material, I could feel the cold radiating through the fabric. It was unsettling to feel this in a human, especially in someone as fragile as she.
The moment I touched her, I watched with interest as her cheeks flared into a crimson blush, the blood pulsing within her cheeks, it was so…alluring. The beast rose within me, having this weak human for the taking was so attracting then I could hardly suppress the want. Then a light pressure on my hand knocked me from my trance.
I glanced down to see that she had fractionally tightened her grip around my own hand, though it was such a sparse feeling, it filled me with joy inside to have her respond back to me, to know that she trusted me.
Surprise filled me on how this simple gesture could repress that urge, that monster screaming for blood. I wanted to pounce on her, and sink my teeth into her chest, but I was brought back to my senses because of her touch. Who was this girl before me? How could she have this power over my entire body?
"Right this way," I gestured, motioning towards the door.
This time, I wound my arm around her waist. This look on her face meant that this gesture had surprised her, as well as myself. Partial reason was that I remembered her injuries and it would be quite ungentlemanly to leave a wounded lady to fend on her own. As well, I wanted to be closer to her, to never ever have her leave my eyes or my sights.
- B -
(A/N: Whenever I change perspectives, watch for the letter, and it should be straightforward enough that B is for Bella and E is for Edward)
I was completely astonished at the beauty held within Edward's home. It was magnificent, filled with history and delicacy that made it a wonderful splendor to live in. And it is a lot more then I could say for my dank hovel.
Since Edward was not yet aware of my injuries I have hidden, I forced myself to ignore the pain while I walked. Any falter or any cry may alert him to my wounds and I was not looking forward to revealing anything that concerned my past.
Deciding to show me the upper floor first, I took a quick peek in each room. I thought it was an invasion of privacy to enter one's room without permission, but he smiled at me, almost as if he sensed my questions and laughed, "In this household, we have no secrets,"
As Edward introduced me to each room, he added his own description of the bedroom, describing its owner and his thoughts about it. It was quite amusing to hear his views of his household members.
With each bedroom, they each had a mix of feminism to it as well as a hint of masculinity to illustrate that these were shared bedrooms. Although it was only two extra guest bedrooms, mine included, and Edward's bedroom that showed that it belonged to an individual instead of a pair.
Edward's room was gorgeous, and I have never seen such an abundant amount of musical records. He had a few in the large, black discs, others in cassette, and the majority of his musical collection was in silver discs. I believe the silver ones were what Joshua had.
Almost as similar to guest room I was currently residing it, Edward's bedroom was following a red and gold pattern. The others room also followed a certain colour scheme, but for some peculiar reason, this match seemed most beautiful from the rest.
While Edward described each room, I made sure to keep my distance from their possession. I could only imagine what horrors they would say if I were to taint their home with my impurity. But what I saw, it required much restraint to keep my hands from reaching out and to be able to feel these new things around me.
Never in my life have I seen so many modern day technologies, aside from the out-dated kitchen appliances that I was forced to work with. I've read about a few of these new appliances in magazines or manuals that Charlie or Joshua had acquired, but I have never seen them like this.
I was completely amazed at everything. Their books, beds, and technologies the house held within, and to be able to hear their purpose and their workings was absolutely fascinating.
In each room, I would always let out a quiet breath of exclamation. I would always see new things in each room, though I was surprised at the amount of clothing I saw. My eyes widened at the mess that was strewn everywhere and I couldn't help that faint blush that arose on my cheeks. It felt humiliating when Edward laughed at my expression, even though I knew it was in good humor.
He simply explained that those rooms belonged to an Alice; I believe that was the black haired girl, and Rosalie, this name I didn't recognize. To him, that explanation said it all, but I remained confused. With a nod of my head, I decided to overlook this bewilderment and continue on with the tour.
Edward led me to the last door at the end of the hall, on the other side of the winding staircase, "Lastly, we have Carlisle's study," he introduced before opening the door.
The moment my eyes laid on it, I was simply stunned. It was vast and wide, with dark cherry wood furniture and comfortable décor for sitting or lounging, but what astounded me was the endless amount of books that covered the walls.
"It's also a library as well. Carlisle thought it would be easier if many of his medical text were with him, and with the amount of space we had left, we filled it as a library as well,"
It was almost like an endless field of literature. There were various categories and genres, almost millions of subjects to read upon. Books were my passion, and I thanked God everyday that those books that my mother had given me had helped me keep my sanity.
"Would you like a closer look?" Edward's voice called out, pulling me away from my euphoria, and then I realized where my place was.
I fervently shook my head, and lowered my eyes away from his face. Even though this home did not know of my true identity, I have grown in a place where I am nothing but this lowly fool who deserves nothing. Until I have found it on my own, made it with my very own education and freedom, then I am something, but as for now it would be wise not to over step my boundaries.
"Are you sure?" Edward's gaze was skeptical and inquisitive, as if there was something blazing behind it that masked his true feelings.
I nodded. With each step I made, I must watch myself that I did not anger them in anyway. How abhorred I would be if I were to anger them, as well as how disgusted they would be at my impertinence. The previous times I have been careless, I must now be watchful.
Edward finished the tour with the main level of the home and the exterior décor that surrounded this already beautiful mansion.
Similar to the upper level, everything was amazing. The designs were nothing I have ever seen, the simplicity of it yet it held such beauty with each furniture and decoration. As well, I was fascinated by all the new technologies that I've only heard about.
This house had such a vast assortment of new objects, radios and television, computers and cameras, movies and music. To see something so new, something so fascinating, I hated all this restraint I had to put on myself, the pathetic character that I have built for myself.
In a sudden instance, Edward had turned to hold me completely in his arms. This quick action surprised me and I was thankful for his arms to keep me steady, "Bella please," his sweet voice whispered to me. The light touch of his breath on my face sent sensations of happiness throughout my body.
I was temporarily paralyzed by this new wave of emotions I was feeling before I registered Edward's indication. So far, it remained confusing to my mind.
I looked up to his eyes that were blazing deeply and staring down at mine. My breath hitched when I realized this close proximity. I couldn't understand why this made my mind swirl and my legs weak, not from physical disability but from emotional instability. What was this?
"Bella, please talk to me. You've been so quiet; I can't stand not hearing you speak,"
This is that opportune moment where I can ask my most curious question, "Why?" my voice was even barely a whisper. It would be quite a shock if he had even heard my sparse question.
This simple question could have an infinite meaning behind it. Why I am here? Why did they accept me? Why is he helping me? Why can't I stop this pulling, this urge to be with Edward? Why is he not pushing me away and treating me like how Charlie and Joshua did?
There were still so many things I don't understand. How things worked in the real world, or the true emotions you're supposed to feel within a family. I thought I knew what life was, a place of desolation and pain, but now, it's all so different. There is so much still behind it, more emotions that suffering and misery, and best of all, there's freedom. But what's holding me back from getting this? I'm finally free, but why couldn't I reach out and grasp for it?
"Bella?"
I didn't realize how deeply entrance I was until I was pulled back by Edward's call. His eyes stared at mine with worry, and with relief. Was that for me?
With a gentle touch, he led me towards their sitting area to lower me down onto their divan. With a swift grace, he kneeled in front of me "Bella, are you alright?"
I nodded, but I felt so distant from everything. All these questions were separating my mind from my body. I couldn't grasp what I wanted because I didn't even know what I wanted yet. Everything was still a blur, but for some reason, Edward's face was there. It was the clearest out of everything. Why?
Edward unraveled his arms from around my waist and brought them to my sweater-covered hands. Though it was not skin contact, this touch had sent shivers coursing throughout my body, "I want to hear you talk Bella. You're beautiful voice that I heard only moments ago, I miss it. Please Bella," his voice had lower to a tiny whisper, "trust me,"
His eyes were piercing straight through mine, as if he was desperately trying to read my soul, the thoughts I bear in my body.
I no longer cared if my disrespect would hurt me; I feared that this paradoxical question would forever burn my mind if it was not answered. My mental stability would overload, and that would be far worse then any physical injury I would receive.
"Edward?" I finally forced myself to say, and his eyes lit up with happiness. It made me feel blissful inside to know that I made him happy. How strange that is.
"W-why d-do you h-help me?" my voice stuttered and broke. Oh I was so pathetic that I couldn't even merely say a simple sentence. It was a wonder on why I still remain here.
"Bella?" no doubt Edward was confused by my ridiculous question.
I shook my head, "No, I'm sorry. It was absurd of me to ask," this was not my place to inquire. Lowering my eyes to the ground, it was foolish of me to be so impulsive.
A kind hand reached forward to place itself on my cheek as he lifted my head, "Surely Bella, you do not think so lowly of yourself. I want to help you Bella, for someone as beautiful as you are, you do not deserve this pain that I see inflicted within your eyes,"
My breath hitched in my throat. Never have I heard words so sweet and kind, especially from someone as handsome as Edward.
"I have not known you very long Bella," Edward continued, lowering his hands to once again, grip my sweater clad hands in his, "But I would like to. Please," his voice lowered to a whisper, "trust me,"
"I would very much like to do so," I whispered back, surprised at how my voice did not falter.
I was spellbound by those mesmerizing golden eyes, and the beauty they held. To engrossed, I did not pay heed to the space between us as it became smaller and smaller. As if it was moving on its own accord, my face neared his while his neared mine.
To hear the sound of crunching gravel has shocked me. Though it did strike a brief fear into my heart, for that sound alerted when my father and brother arrived home, I was thankful for that sudden alert. I leaned back away from Edward, grateful that I have broken away from my trance. The sound seemed to have alerted Edward as well.
I mumbled an apology to Edward and moved to stand, but his grip on my wrist remained firm and kept me seated, "Bella, may I ask something of you?" I nodded.
"Will you talk to me? It's such a shame to hear your beautiful voice kept silent," Through my astonishment, I kept my composure and nodded to his request, "if you so please,"
"Yes, I do," and a wonderful smile lit his features and it almost made me return the smile.
I hope you enjoyed and please let me know if there is something wrong with this chapter and as well as your thoughts about this. (As well, I was wondering if I was going to fast in here, I hope not)
So if you're looking for any changes in the story, more detail, less detail, more storyline...anything, just let me know and I will try my best to acquiesce to your suggestions and request.
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(Just a little side not, please read, I warn you now that if I am delayed in my updates, it is because I am also currently working on two other stories that I have been neglecting. But I will try my best to get the next chapter up soon)
Hope to hear your comments soon, Thanks for Reading!
Sincerely, SapphireTwilightSky