Chapter X : Truth Within This Touch
Barely two hours had passed and Zell was back inside in the Tomb, this time trudging around with the enormous parcel Selphie had put together. She'd stocked enough food, support magic, spell stones and magazines to last the next couple of years. Obviously Seifer had made one hell of an impression since she was willing to do all this for the guy. If one was in Selphie's corner, there was nothing she wouldn't do for that person.
It was always easy to be swayed and caught up by Selphie's enthusiasm. She had an uncanny ability to persuade people to do things they normally wouldn't even think about doing. Her fervor was contagious and when with her, it was effortless to take upon her views. When she was gone though, that was when uncertainties would creep up.
The long car ride back to the Tomb had been plagued with uncertainties. Zell'd had plenty of time to think about what consequences his actions might bring.
So Seifer was different. People changed all the time and it wasn't as though that was any news. Zell could accept that. He could even accept that Seifer was truly sorry for all the things he'd done wrong.
Forgiveness, that was a concept that was extremely difficult to take on. Bringing supplies and caring about Seifer, doing all the things he and Selphie were doing, it was damn near impossible to accept. With such unwavering conviction, Selphie had proclaimed their actions to be right. Forgiveness was right and everyone deserved a second chance and Seifer was one of them and underneath it all he was a really nice guy...blah blah blah. Selphie had gone on and on during their shopping excursion and at the time, Zell had been convinced.
Now, he wasn't so sure.
If a part of Ultimecia's conscience was still inside Seifer, then that was unquestionably a worry they as SeeDs would have to deal with. They'd sent their concerns to Matron and had done their job. But playing the Good Samaritan? What the hell was that?
Zell had spent a good deal of his years being bullied and tormented by Seifer. It was not something he could easily forget nor was it something he wanted repeated. Seifer might be weak now but he would gain his strength back. Then what? Would they slip back into the old 'HeyChickenWussShutupyouPrick' routine?
He took out his doubts on a couple of Wendigos that came to block his path a few minutes later.
The battle was insanely short since he'd junctioned Death to his gloves. Shaking the goo from his fists, he collected the two Steel Orbs and headed down the passage way and over the rickety little bridge. He'd reached the center of the Tomb, figuring it to be the best place for Seifer to reside.
He crossed the bridge and abruptly stopped.
Looming before him and completely blocking the Tomb's entrance was Sphinxaur. She peered down at him with huge, unblinking eyes and smiled kindly.
"YOU COME FROM MY MEMORY INSIDE THE CASTLE."
Zell stopped before her. She didn't seem particularly hostile but he was wary. "Yeah, I s'ppose. Uh, is Seifer inside there?"
"I GUARD HIM. HE IS WEAK."
"I know." He held up the box of supplies. "I brought some stuff for him. Could I pass?"
"I GUARD HIM," she repeated. "HURT HIM AND I WILL ATTACK."
Zell wanted to ask if she'd attack Seifer if he'd hurt him but decided not to push his luck. As it was, he was lucky that he didn't have to fight her.
She vanished and he headed forward.
The Tomb was as he remembered it when battling Brothers. The stone floor was still cracked with tufts of Hoar Frost grass growing in wild patches. Archaic runes and fading words were etched upon the fractured walls. The King's casket dominated most of the room, sunk deep into the stone. The only addition was Seifer.
Lying in a crumpled heap near in the entrance, his breathing was sporadic and heavy. He was on his side, his face was nearly crushed up against the wall.
"Aw shits," Zell complained, setting down the box of supplies and dropping to his knees beside Seifer. "I knew coming here was gonna be trouble."
He hesitated, reluctant to touch Seifer. What if the guy suddenly woke up and smashed him? What if this was a trick? What if...
Seifer inhaled sharply and a thick, raspy sound escaped from his mouth. It sounded like nothing Zell had ever heard before.
...he was seriously injured?
Biting his lip, he carefully took hold of Seifer's shoulder and pulled him onto his back. Quickly letting go, he peered down at the other boy.
It didn't look good.
Seifer's face was ashen, his lips tinted blue. There was a nasty rip at the corner of his mouth, dried blood smeared upon his left cheek and his lashes were flickering rapidly.
Was Ultimecia in his mind again?
Zell took off his right glove and warily placed his fingers upon Seifer's cheek to wipe away to red liquid.
A twisted cry raced from his mouth.
There was a pain like nothing Zell had ever felt.
Ice as sizzling as electricity spilled against his skin and poured into his veins. Blinding splotches of frost exploded against his eyes and dripped into his conscience. Internally he was contracting as an aching presence manifesting itself. Something gelatinous spread into his pores and clogged at his organs. He was shifting and decaying into this bitter misery...
"Fuck!" he choked out, stumbling backwards, his naked hand coming up to press at his eyes.
Cold.
Seifer was cold.
Zell gulped in air, his body shuddering.
It was colder then any Level Blizzard spell, colder then Shiva's summoning, colder then winter. It was a frozen Hell. It was an otherworldly cold. It was cold that hurt.
Tears stung his eyes as he struggled to breathe. His head was enveloped by a trembling pain.
He recalled how cold Ultimecia's castle had been. Was this what it felt like to have her inside?
"Fuck," he gasped again, striving to stop shivering and failing horribly.
Within his mind, gnawing upon his brain, was ice. Slivers of thick ice that scraped upon the flesh and tore at the bone. It ripped at him, stuffing him, breaking into him...
It was with shaking fingers and absolute willpower that Zell was able to reach into his pocket and pull out an Elixir. The warm liquid splashed over him in a gentle wave, abating the cold.
"Oh God," he whispered, running his fingers over his face.
Even though the feeling was gone, it was a good fifteen minutes before he could move. The psychological impact of having...that inside his brain was beyond what he could endure.
There were no words to describe it. Not any.
How the fuck was Seifer able to stand it?
Zell managed to rouse himself at the thought of Seifer. If that one little touch had effected him so severely, then what the hell was Seifer experiencing?
Putting on his other glove, Zell lit a couple Flare stones upon a patch of grass and moved Seifer towards the flame, cautious not touch his skin.
The hearty fire spat viciously and cast dancing shadows upon Seifer's face.
The older boy was still in bad condition. He looked like what Zell had just undergone.
Zell couldn't even begin to imagine what Seifer had gone through and how he'd managed to survive so far. If Seifer felt even one percent more than what he'd just experienced, well then no wonder he was contemplating suicide. To have to go through that and for this long...
Caught up in horror, Zell barely realized that he was reaching out to touch Seifer.
He blinked hard and quickly dropped his hand. What the hell was he doing? Was he so out of it that he was reaching to touch Seifer again? What the fuck?
He jumped as Seifer suddenly gasped sharply, his breathing increasing.
"Wha-"
Zell bit back an astonished yell as Seifer's hand shot out like a bullet to grab his own. Bony fingers clutched at his gloved hand, holding them in a surprisingly fierce grip. Seifer jerked Zell's hand against his cheek.
With Ehrgeiz on, he couldn't feel Ultimecia's cold.
Zell's eyes widened. He tugged at his hand, not wanting to hurt Seifer but uncomfortably with the idea of sitting around touching Seifer's cheek. What if somehow Ultimecia came to the surface again? What if not feeling her was only temporary or something? What if-
Seifer's eyes coiled open. They were cloudy and unfocused but they held recognition. "Zell," he gasped out, his words low and raspy. He swallowed thickly and squeezed Zell's hand hard. "What...what are..."
"Selphie gathered up some supplies for you," Zell told him, trying very hard to be casual and failing miserably. He squirmed. "Seifer your...um your hand..." Zell could feel his cheeks bursting with heat.
"She's inside me," Seifer whispered, gritting his teeth. "But you...when you touched...I don't feel her." Seifer caught his gaze and there was pleading. "Only for a moment. I...I know I'm not supposed to...I can't ask anything from you Zell...but only... just so I can push her-"
"It's okay," Zell cut in quickly. "I felt her before. I wasn't wearing my gloves and-"
Seifer inhaled quickly. "You felt her?"
"Um yeah, sorta." Zell couldn't help but shudder. "It was the most fucked up I've ever felt. How the hell can you stand it? It's so damn cold!"
Seifer clenched his eyes shut and dropped Zell's hand. "You shouldn't... she's too strong now."
"I don't get it. We defeated her. How can she be this strong?"
"This is her hatred." Seifer swallowed thickly. "Before I could handle it but now...the things she says..."
"I can give you an Elixir," Zell offered, at a total loss of what to do. Should he touch Seifer again? Should he leave and get help? Should he take Seifer back to Deling City with him? This was hardly the sort of thing they covered in SeeD practical preparation classes. "It helped me before."
"I'm okay." Seifer shoved open his eyes and winced. "I keep seeing Matron."
"Matron?" Zell frowned at the turn in their conversation. "How d'ya mean?"
"Her memories of me. I see them."
"Seifer..." Zell shook his head. The guy had some serious problems. "This really isn't my area of specialty or anything. We gotta get you some help. Matron's in Esthar and if we go there she'll-"
Seifer braced himself and managed to sit up before Zell could help him. "No."
"Why the hell not?" Zell demanded, quickly becoming frustrated. Couldn't Seifer see that he needed some major help? Couldn't he also see that Zell had no friggin' clue of what to do?
"I'm not leaving here."
Zell took a deep breath and tried to be patient. "Man, you're totally fucked up. You need help, alright?"
Seifer managed a shaky laugh. "You're still the same, Zell."
"You want me to sugarcoat the truth? I don't think so." He leaned towards Seifer so that the other boy could see that he was serious. "I'm not kidding. This is serious business. When I touched you, I thought I's gonna die. I never felt anything like that in my life!"
"I'm sorry," Seifer muttered, looking away. "You weren't supposed to feel her."
"Quit apologizing," Zell snapped. "It's so friggin' weird. Can't you go back to being all insulting and stuff?"
Seifer stared at him and Zell flushed, realizing how damn stupid his request was.
"I can't. You saved me." Seifer looked him clearly in the eye. "I'm in your debt now."
Zell hastily looked away. Seifer's lucid gaze unnerved Zell almost as much as the idea of him being in his debt did. "It was nothing," he mumbled and hurriedly changed the subject. "Are you still feeling her?"
"She's withdrawn." He scrubbed at one streaked cheek with weary fingers. "Today she was intense and vindictive. She's never been like this before."
"Maybe she knows that we want you to go to Esthar and she's trying to mess you up so much that you can't go." Zell gave him a grim look. "She's manipulative. You of everyone around oughta know that."
"She's also truth." Seifer looked down at the fire, the shadows marring his face. When he spoke again, his voice was nearly inaudible. "Because it comes from her doesn't mean I can disregard it. True truth is unchanging. Something constant is always constant. She's constant."
"Don't tell me you're listening to her shit," Zell burst out, creeped out by Seifer's weird philosophizing. "What the hell, she's a psycho, not truth or any crap like that! You know all the bad stuff she did and all the stuff she wanted to do! If you're listening to her then you're as crazy as she is!"
"I was selfish. That's a truth she told me. She festers in it." He tilted his head as he studied the flickering flames. "I cried. Matron was there."
"What?"
Seifer nodded distantly, his gaze vague. "It's true. When I came to the orphanage I cried. Matron held me. She was the only person to ever see me cry. I remember now. Matron was also constant to me."
An odd little lump swelled in his throat . Zell swallowed nervously. "Um..."
Something glinted momentarily in dark eyes before vanishing. "I wish she was here."
Zell exhaled noisily.
They were only five little words, uttered in a broken voice but they were enough for Zell to know that Seifer truly was changed. It wasn't any act, any plea for sympathy. This was real and it was pain. For Seifer to want Matron...
He was as human as the next person and that was clear enough for Zell to see.
Zell felt some unfamiliar, nameless feeling swell up inside him. Because as much of a bastard as Seifer had been, he didn't deserve what was happening to him. Zell might have been dense but he knew that much. That frozen torture was beyond bearing and no one warranted that.
"Matron would be happy to see you," Zell said gently. "I know she worries a lot about you." He awkwardly touched Seifer's arm. "Why don't you come back with me? Selphie would be real happy. She was worried about you too." He gestured to the box of supplies. "She packed all that stuff for you."
Seifer smiled a soft, saddened smile. "Why bother? I'm not much these days and if I-"
"You're one of us," Zell interrupted with conviction that he genuinely felt. "Matron's orphans, you know?" He shrugged and began to fidget. "'Sides, what you're doing here...it's like noble and stuff."
"You're not understanding Zell..." Seifer murmured, looking away. "I don't-"
"You apologized to me for Frig's sakes!" Zell blurted out. "Man, I never thought that was gonna happen!" He toned his voice down. "Look, if Ultimecia breaks you again then it's gonna be fucked up and don't forget about those eight monsters you got junctioned. They can prolly do a shit load of damage. Matron'll know what to do. Just come on, okay? You can come back here after."
"But I should-" Seifer abruptly cut himself off as his body stiffened. His eyes grew huge, his hands clenching. "I...I'm..."
Zell reacted instinctively. He leaned forward and framed Seifer's face in his gloved hands. "Seifer?"
"It's not...she..." His eyes were hazing over as he bit his lip. "It's cold..."
"Fucks," Zell cursed. What the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn't just sit around and watch this! "Seifer you hafta-"
"S'okay," Seifer murmured thickly, his eyelids sweeping downwards. "I'll just...just..."
Zell was never one to think things through. He'd always been an impulsive, reckless sort and that was really the only excuse he could use to justify what he did next.
They were inches apart and Zell only had to shift the tiniest bit forward for his mouth to drop upon Seifer's. Right smack on the mouth, Zell kissed him. Not on the cheek or on the corner of his mouth but right in the center. The guy who'd made his life hell and who he'd hated for forever, he kissed because...
It was everything and nothing at all.
There was cold but it was pleasingly bearable. Seifer's lips were raw and smooth. There was pleasure and there was aching, there was heat woven through the chill. There was a thread of Ultimecia and ribbons of Seifer. Zell shouldn't have kissed him but he also really couldn't regret it.
Kissing Seifer was a paradox.
It was yes and no and for all that it was, it was also its complimentary point. Everything twisted into fading realities and he could've almost believed that the world had stopped. Or started afresh. Or...
Or.
The kiss lasted an eternity and not long enough.
He eventually pulled back, tasting Seifer upon his lips and saw that the other boy was unconscious, his closed eyes still.
Zell stared dazedly at him for a moment before the enormity of what he'd just done came heaping down upon him.
For absolutely no good reason, other then the fact that he didn't have a clue of what the fuck to do, he'd kissed Seifer. On the mouth. Kissed a guy. Kissed Seifer.
There was panic.
"I kissed him and he passed out," Zell uttered with a sort of inane, hysterical laugh. "This is too damn much!"
Now that his mouth wasn't on Seifer's, he could only ask one question.
What the holy fuck had he been thinking?
"Oh shit shit shit," Zell gurgled, staring down at the older boy. What was gonna happen? What should he do? Was this his fault? What if he'd hurt Seifer? Why in the earth had he thought that kissing would help? When Seifer woke up he was gonna get his ass kicked! He was gonna be in so much trouble! "Oh Gods whatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo?" He carefully eased Seifer down onto the floor and smacked his own forehead. "Think ya dumbass think!"
There was a deep silence that literally reverberated off the walls. And then...
"I GUARD HIM," came Sphinxaur's voice from the entrance of the chamber. "HURT HIM AND I WILL ATTACK."
Relief poured over Zell in a flood. Was it Selphie? Had Matron replied to their letter with loads of advice? Was Selphie bringing backup? She was smart, she always had good ideas. She would never kiss Seifer for no good reason, if at all! Maybe Irvine...
Oh why the hell was he thinking of all this retarded stuff?!
It wasn't Selphie who cautiously entered the chamber, it was Fujin.
Under any other circumstance, Zell would not have been happy to see Fujin. They hardly got along, what with the Anger Management Classes and 'chicken wuss' and all but it wasn't as though these were ordinary circumstances.
Ignoring the look of deep suspicion and scathing anger upon the girl's face, Zell bolted to his feet and hurled himself into her arms. "I never thought I'd say this but Fujin am I ever happy to see you! You got helluva timing and good thing 'cause I was totally worried 'cause I didn't know what to do, I mean it's not like this sort of thing is covered in class! Is it okay to move him, is she gonna possess him-"
Fujin shoved Zell away and kicked his shin hard. "CALM," she spat, looking vicious. "SLOWLY."
Zell swallowed and raked a hand through his hair. "Ultimecia's still inside him. When I got here he was unconscious and I touched him and it was fucking insane 'cause there was this weird cold and it hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. Then I put my gloves back on and I couldn't feel it anymore and when Seifer woke up he said that he couldn't feel her when I touched him. I told him he had to go see Matron but he didn't want to but I insisted and I think he was about to say yes but then she came back and he passed out and now I don't know what to do! Do we move him or is she gonna hurt-"
"HOTEL," Fujin interrupted, kneeling down beside Seifer. "NECESSARY."
"Are you sure we can move him? What if she like, I dunno, wakes up and tries to kill us or somethin'? What if we hurt him? What if-"
"CHANCE," Fujin replied, softly. Her face was tragic as she gazed down at one of her closest friends. "HELP..."
"Okay okay, we'll take him back," Zell quickly conceded, relieved that she's made the decision. "But we gotta be careful. I've got a couple of Holy Wars that'll get us out of here quick and into the hotel undetected. But how do we-"
"FLOAT," Fujin commanded. The spell swirled around Seifer, making him buoyant. "QUICKLY."
Zell nodded as he took out a Holy War and tossed it upon them. "Let's go."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Selphie bounced lightly on her bed while humming along with the theme song to her favorite soap opera, 'Turbulent Times in Timber'. Today's episode was going to be especially turbulent because Rollfo the schizophrenic Abyss Worm perfume maker was about to discover that his ex-gay lover's dead boyfriend had returned to life via a Phoenix Pinion and was about to wed Rollfo's twice removed, half stepsister, Honoria the horologist/Snow Lion tamer!
Now this was what a real vacation entailing; catching up on soaps.
Her TV viewing was interrupted by a brisk knock on the door.
"Matron's letter!" she cried bounding off the bed.
She'd been waiting for ages for Matron's reply to the letter she and Zell had sent. She rushed across the room and yanked open the door.
A Galbadian soldier stood before her. "You a SeeD?" he demanded.
Selphie folded her arms across her chest and gave him a suspicious look. "What you wanna know for?"
The soldier held up a memo. "Communications from General Caraway. Your name?"
She frowned. "Selphie Tilmitt."
He glanced down at the dispatch before nodding. "Yeah alright. Sign here please."
Selphie signed, took the offered letter and flounced back onto her bed.
What on Earth could General Caraway want?
She hastily tore open the dispatch and scanned the contents.
So Fujin had found out where Seifer was residing. Obviously she'd put aside the fact that she despised Rinoa and had asked for her help. Well in any case, Selphie wasn't worried. She trusted Fujin and she trusted Seifer. They weren't up to anything, not with Seifer in his current condition. Besides, Fujin was a SeeD and it was something she took very seriously.
Selphie snickered as she put aside the letter. What if Fujin ran into Zell inside the Tomb? They'd prolly end up flinging Ultimas, GFs and bad words at each other.
Meanwhile, on TV, Honoria the horologist/Snow Lion tamer was fretting. "Oh Udolpho, are you sure that that Rollfo my half stepbrother doesn't know of our secret marriage?"
"Ooooh!" Settling back, Selphie went back to watching TV and waiting for Matron's communication.
She watched the soap in peace for about twenty minutes or so before Irvine strode into the room.
"You knew Fujin was here," he accused, snapping the door shut behind him.
Selphie tore her eyes away from the TV screen. "Yeah, I ran into her on the bus. She's here on vacation too. Cool huh? We can all hang out together 'cause she's staying her too!"
"Sefie..." He sat down beside her and gave her a grim look. "She's here to see Seifer."
"Ohhh." Understanding dawned upon her. Now she knew what had Irvine so concerned. She found General Caraway's letter and thrust it at him. "Here, read this."
Irvine gave her a quizzical look before taking the letter and reading it.
"See, I don't think Fujin's up to anything fishy," Selphie ventured. "If she gave General Caraway permission to contact us then she prolly has nothing to hide. 'Sides, you know how important being a SeeD is to her. She's not gonna do anything to frig it up."
"Her friendship with Seifer also means a lot to her." Quickly Irvine filled Selphie in on the details surrounding his meeting with Fujin. "And the minute I turned my back, she disappeared! I'm telling you, she's up to something. Why else would she have been outta there so fast?"
Selphie snorted. "Come off it, Irvy. You know how she is. She hates taking orders and she's a big stickler for privacy. You prolly just really pissed her off."
"Doesn't take a helluva lot," Irvine muttered.
She ignored that. "It's not like it's any secret that she hates to wait. For all we know she prolly went to go steal a car or somethin'. Seifer means a lot to her."
"Exactly. Which means that if he's up to something then she'd be behind him in a flash. And that means we-"
"Um Irvine? About Seifer..." Selphie poked at the carper with her socked foot. "Promise me you're not gonna get mad and you won't say anything until I finish talking?"
Irvine frowned. "What are-"
"GREAT!" she enthused, hopping off the bed and grabbing Zell's note outlining the mission in the Tomb from off the dresser. "After our...uh walk, I came back here and found this."
She gave him the note and began to relate everything that had happened since entering the Tomb and meeting Seifer.
To his credit, Irvine remained silent. There were a few times when he looked as though he wanted to burst out into a lecture but she ploughed on, barely even allowing herself to breathe.
"And Zell's still in the Tomb and I'm still waiting for Matron's letter," Selphie concluded, ceasing her pacing. She smiled brilliantly at Irvine. "So all in all it's been a busy day so far, don't ya think?"
"How could you have been so damn stupid?" Irvine snapped, scowling. "Seifer could have hurt you! Anything could have happened!. He's not stable and now Zell's-"
"Weren't you listening to me?" Selphie put her hands on her hips and frowned down at him. "Seifer's in trouble and we gotta help him!"
"Sel-"
"No! Now that I remember when we were kids, I know that he's not so much of a bad guy." She cast an imploringly gaze upon Irvine. "Don't you remember? He was the one who gave me my new Tonberry King, he had to be!"
"So you're ready to trust him just because he gave you a toy?"
"You're being cynical," Selphie accused. "That's not what I'm saying at all!"
"I'm being realistic," Irvine contradicted. "Since it obvious that-"
"You didn't see Seifer," Selphie interrupted. "He looked tired and defeated. I mean, come on. Do you really think Zell of all people would be willing to help him? He's different now and he needs our help. Can't you just trust me on this?"
Irvine met her gaze clearly and didn't hesitate. "Alright, I trust you."
Selphie blinked, pointedly ignoring the shivers that darted down her spine at the soft, slightly husky tone in his voice. "Um...okay. We're in agreement then." She plopped down on her bed and swung her feet. "Thanks Irvine. This means a lot to me."
Irvine gave her a smoldering look. "You only have to ask, sweetheart."
Against her will, she blushed. "Um...okay."
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hi Matron!"
Edea smiled as she stepped into the ornate sitting chambers of the Presidential Suite. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, President."
Kiros looked disgusted. "You don't have to call her Matron, stupid."
"Oh yeah." Laguna Loire, President of Esthar City Proper and the surrounding continent, flushed and rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. Being around Edea always made him a little bit nervous. She was so elegant and graceful and pretty and stuff. "Sorry Edea. Ellone's been talkin' about you so much that I just, well you know...kinda just-"
"I'll leave you two then," Kiros hastily put in, standing. "If needed, I'll be in my office." He gave Laguna a stern look. "You better stop procrastinating and look over those infrastructural amendments. If I don't have a proposal to put forth at tomorrow's conference there's gonna be blood and I'm sending them straight here!" He took his good-byes and left.
Laguna slumped in his seat. "Man that guy can be so bossy!"
Edea smiled behind her hand. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything President?"
"What? Oh no of course not!" He saw that Edea was still standing and scrambled to his feet. "Please, have a seat! Can I get you something to drink?"
Edea gracefully perched on the edge of a velvet settee. "No I'm fine, thank you."
Laguna plopped back down into his armchair with a loud thud. "So what can I do for you?"
"I received this communication from Selphie and Zell in Deling City." Edea handed Laguna the letter. "It's rather serious, given light of what Ellone and I are doing."
Laguna glanced through the dispatch. "Shit!" Realizing who he was cursing in front of, he quickly coughed and tried to act casual. "I mean, oh dung this is bad."
A faint smile tugged at full, wine-colored lips before dying in wake of the subject matter. "I've often felt that something is amiss with Seifer. I thought him to be suicidal and that was why I enlisted Ellone's help to send him my memories. I had no idea that Ultimecia could still exist within his mind." She stared down at pale, folded hands. "He's been wronged horribly, by her and by me."
"Hey, that wasn't your fault!" Laguna burst out, leaning towards her earnestly. "You couldn't help it at all!"
"I am able to help him now," Edea said, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek. "Seifer has not had an easy time of things. His childhood before coming to me was quite difficult. I fear that Ultimecia will once again exploit his fears and insecurities."
Laguna frowned. "So what do you think we should do? You're not thinking of bringing him here, are you?"
"While Dr. Odine has been a tremendous help with reconstruction efforts, I don't trust him with Seifer." She meet Laguna's gaze clearly. "Most likely Seifer would remain imprisoned while the Doctor would perform experiments and so forth. Seifer mightn't ever be able to leave." She was unable to suppress a wince. "If anything, Dr. Odine is rather...passionate about his research."
Laguna snorted loudly. "The guy's a weirdo and we both know it. He may be valuable and an asset to Esthar and all that junk Kiros says but I haven't forgiven him for what he did to Ellone." His hands fisted as anger sparked. "She was only a little kid! She was supposed to be playing and stuff, not locked up while he did stupid experiments on her! I can't stand that guy!"
Edea nodded grimly. "In the name of research, he holds next to no scruples. I think it best if Seifer stay away from Esthar as well as Balamb Garden. I would like to help him on my terms with space."
"Yeah, I see what you mean. Somewhere quiet and low key." Laguna tugged at his bottom lip as he thought. "What about your old orphanage? No one's gonna go there and that's as low key as you can get."
"It's a rather run down affair now," Edea confessed. "Monsters have torn the place apart."
"Oh yeah." Laguna thought some more before suddenly snapping his fingers. "Hey I know! How 'bout Winhill? You guys could stay at our old place since it's empty. The people there are nice and old fashioned and there's not a chance Odine will go there 'cause he hates that place. He told me that once."
"You wouldn't mind? I understand the house is Raine's."
Laguna smiled softly. "Nah, I don't mind. Raine wouldn't have minded either. She liked to take in people. She took me in afterall."
"It's kind of you to do this," Edea murmured, also smiling. "I know Seifer has no meaning to you and-"
"Squall knows him," Laguna interrupted. "And that makes a difference, you know? All these kids who grew up with Squall...it's kinda important in a way. It's all I have right now anyways."
Edea hesitated before speaking. "Have you not spoken with Squall?"
"Uh..." Laguna stared searchingly at the coffered ceiling. "Not so much. Well we played some cards but...um..."
"It will come," Edea reassured. "In time, you'll be able. If you'd like, I can be there."
"Yeah that'd be great!" Laguna sighed and blew his bangs off his forehead. "He'd prolly think I'm joking or something anyways. I don't think he has a real high opinion of me."
"Squall doesn't have a high opinion of many people," Edea countered with wry amusement. "I wouldn't worry about it. I should think that his relationship with Rinoa has helped placate him a bit."
"Julia's daughter!" Laguna beamed happily. "I love that girl. She's like the best thing that coulda ever happened to Squall. But that's enough of that." Laguna stood up. "We gotta start making plans and stuff for Winhill."
Edea also rose. "I've already sent one communication to Deling City with immediate instructions. I'll send another explaining what's we've discussed."
"Yeah good. It's that Ultimecia's still around..." He gave Edea a worried look. "You know what you're doing right?"
She nodded grimly. "I have a pretty good idea but it will require research."
"I'll help!"
"I think I'll need it."