Part One: Winter

Chapter Ten: Our Awakening

She heard Zuko's voice in her dreams.

Mai lay awake in the dead of night, hearing his sorrow.

"I thought you loved me, Mai. I thought you cared!"

She turned her head aside, closed her eyes to him.

"I thought you loved me, Zuko."

Her heart hurt, and she walked to the window

Flung it open

Let the breeze blow her away.

Blow her away

Into his forgiving arms.

A week had passed.

The clouds had parted, and the sun shone bleakly in the grey-toned sky. The warrior was outside again, by the Bei Fong estate, walking around aimlessly amidst the brown, bare trees and dead grass.

There was something in his heart that told him he had to be here. For Toph. But there was something else too, and it bothered him. He walked to a stone bench and sat down, head lowered in contemplation.

Casting his eyes upon the stone ground, he sat silently as the winter breeze swept by.

"What is it, Mai? Are you worried about Azula?"

The acrobat was standing on her hands again, a smile on her face. Gymnastics were always Ty Lee's way of cheering herself up, but to Mai, it was just an everyday annoyance. She decided not to answer her friend's question and sat calmly under the shade of a tree, eyes cast upon the palace.

After a while, Ty Lee grew somewhat impatient and broke the silence.

"Well, she hasn't said anything to me, yet." She sprung back to her feet, looking at Mai. "Don't look so down. When Zuko comes back from... whatever he's doing, it'll all smooth out. You'll see." She beamed and did several cartwheels, landing at the base of the tree her friend was sitting under.

"Ty Lee, you don't get it."

"You're right. I don't get why you're so mad. Azula can't do anything to us, of course." Mai observed that Ty Lee was mainly saying this to reassure herself, and sighed, not replying.

"Believe me, Mai. Things will work out in the end!"

"I wish I could say that I believed you, but if I did, I would be lying."

"Mai, that kind of negative thinking is bad for your aura," the girl chided, taking a seat next to Mai. "Even Zuko's aura didn't have that kind of bleakness! Well, kind of." She shrugged, and waited for an answer.

"Ty Lee, Azula threatens both of our lives and you expect me to be cheerful?"

"Lighten up. She didn't say anything about that." She gave a small smile, expecting the other to return it, but Mai merely turned away.

"You know what she's capable of. I know she's planning something."

"She won't be able to get out of there, though. They've locked her up tight."

"Yeah, right." Mai huffed. "Nothing's too tight for Azula. Sooner or later, she's going to find a way to get out of here." Her eyes scanned the palace doors, as if searching for something. "I bet she's already found one."

Ty Lee shook her head in disbelief, but the other girl gazed quietly into the distance, wishing that she hadn't said anything about Iroh to Zuko.

She needed him again. She needed him with her more than ever.

There were scars on his left arm.

She looked at them quietly, frowning over the deep cuts that left marks on his hands and the burns scattered across his arms.

"Can you heal them?"

"Yes, but it'll take a while."

"How long?"

"About five or ten minutes. Not that long."

"Alright."

She ran her fingers over the Firebender's arm. Despite himself, he winced in pain.

She stopped. "It hurts?"

He shook his head, pride getting the better of him.

She dipped her hands in the bowl of water, drawing it out, and quietly proceeded to heal the smaller cuts on his hands.

"How did you get these?" She mused out loud. He shook his head, but said nothing.

"They look like someone cut you with a knife."

"That's crazy," he answered. Her fingers ran up his upper arm, the water cleansing and healing his burns.

"I was just wondering." She stopped for a minute. "Okay, I've healed all the smaller cuts and burns. The next few will sting a little."

He scoffed. "Why are you doing this?"

"I'm not doing this for you, if that's what you're thinking. I'm doing this for Iroh, because he was kind enough to send you over here with a ship."

"It was part of the Fire Nation's elaborate redemption plan." He closed his eyes as her fingers dipped into the bowl again. "Going to the North Pole and asking for their forgiveness. But to tell you the truth..." His voice trailed off a little, and the Waterbender paused, her fingers raised above his abrasions.

"What?" She mused out loud, and he shook his head.

"After all that time, after all those days of fighting and hurting and helping..." He cast his eyes to the floor, as if remembering something particularly painful. "I didn't know exactly what I was fighting for."

"You were fighting to help the world." She stated simply. "That's what everyone was fighting for. Except your nation." There was an iciness to her tone, and he noticed it silently. "There was Iroh, though, and Ty Lee and Mai. They were fine, but I don't know what they got into. There's others, too, others that were dragged into this terrible war."

"Yeah." Zuko nodded, glancing up. "So many people... so many people getting hurt, all for nothing. They needed hope."

"Hope as in... Aang." She smiled halfheartedly. I'm his hope now.

"He was the one they needed, and that's why I decided to help him." Zuko's eyes stared into the wall ahead, thinking of what to say next.

"Do you miss her?" Katara abruptly asked, in an attempt to strike up conversation again. Anything was better than talking about Aang. Just mentioning his name made her heart hurt.

"Who?"

Katara eyed him for a second, then shook her head.

"Never mind."

"Wait, you mean Mai... don't you?"

The Waterbender didn't say anything, but watched as the prince sat still, silent, lost in contemplation.

"I do miss her. I have been missing her. But..."

His voice trailed off.

"It's different now, isn't it?" She finished for him, taking the bowl of water away.

"I've missed her ever since I ran off to join your group. But I forgot how she could be infuriating sometimes... so emotionless. It feels like she doesn't care for me like I care for her."

Katara didn't say anything. It seemed as if Zuko were thinking out loud, thinking to himself, and she didn't want to intrude. After all, it was his personal affair, and she knew not to interfere.

"She's still the same. I've always wanted to go back to the way things were before..." He didn't say the rest, but Katara knew what he was going to say.

...Before I joined the Avatar.

She nodded simply, as if she understood but didn't really care, and said quickly, to change the subject: "You're done now. The bigger wounds will take some more time to heal, but the rest are fine. None are infected."

He lifted his head, acknowledging this fact, but he seemed to be lost in some distant memory, a time before.

"Thank you, Katara. You can go now."

"Hey, Toph, listen!"

The Earthbender heard the familiar rap on the window and grinned. As usual, Sokka was standing outside, but with a roll of parchment in his hands.

"I've got something that'll cheer you up," he stated, ducking his head as Toph pulled the window up. "It's the guest list for the ball."

"And this is supposed to cheer me up... how?"

"Well, now that we know who's coming, we can totally make their lives miserable." Watching Toph's eyebrows raise, he quickly added, "Or make them never want to come to a party again."

"Haven't we been through this before, Snoozles? Remember, the party has to boost my parents' reputation, not label them as the worst ball hosts in the world." Toph sighed and collasped onto her bed. "Look, it's nice that you went through all the trouble to get the guest list, but really, it's not gonna do any good."

"Oh, yeah?" Sokka held the paper up to Toph, who didn't really do anything. Oh yeah. She's blind.

"You- um, see," he stated instead, clearing his throat and hesistantly pulling the paper back, "It has their addresses on here. So, if we send letters to every one of them telling them that the ball's cancelled, you'll be saved and your parents will reconsider finding a suitor."

"Oh yeah, sure. After getting a ball gown, hiring caterers, musicians, and a traveling circus for the night, you really think they'd change their minds about the marriage deal?"

"Fine. Plan B." He sat on the bed, getting the feeling that this would be a long afternoon. "We send a letter to one of the suitors on the list, tell them that the ball is cancelled, then have me take that guy's place at the ball. In disguise, of course. Then, you choose me to be your suitor of choice, make your parents happy, pretend to get engaged, then we'll escape on Appa. I'll just say that... I'm taking you on a vacation." He beamed, expecting praise for his well-thought out plan.

Toph seemed to think about it for a minute, then waved her hand dismissively with a simple "Nah".

The disappointment was evident in Sokka's voice. "Come on! It's a good plan, and your only hope for getting out of here!"

Toph shook her head. "Well, Sokka, how will we get you a disguise in time for the ball? Won't my parents recognize your face anyways?"

"They've only seen me once-"

"Twice."

"Fine, twice. But I could pass for some rich guy, right?"

"Sure." The girl rolled her eyes and flipped around on the bed. "Problem is, my parents know all these suitors and their chaperones. They'll probably know what's up."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Setting his face in a smug grin, Sokka scanned the list of names. "Um, you've ever heard of... Tai Pang, in the Long Province?"

"Ugh." She grimaced. "His vibrations were as easy to sense as Appa's." Registering Sokka's long pause as one of confusion, she added, "To put it lightly, he had to lay off the rice cakes. Maybe go on a diet."

"Okay, then. How 'bout Hun Zhang, from the Zhu Province?"

"The last time he visited, I could smell him even before I could sense his vibrations. Trust me, if you want to take his place, you'd have to jump into a sewer to pass off as him."

Sokka read on, and Toph listened carefully, dismissing all of the people on the list so far. This was boring her, although secretly, she really liked Sokka's idea. She had to admit, it was the only way she was going to get out of Gaoling, and although she was skeptical, it would be hilarious if it did manage to fool her parents.

"Okay, almost to the bottom." Sokka cut through her train of thought. "So, ever heard of Gaishi? He seems to be pretty prominent."

"Gaishi." Toph sighed. "Wish I didn't know him, but regrettably, I do. Move on."

"Last name, then." The boy peered at the list. "Hey, I didn't know the Earth King had a nephew!"

"A nephew?" Toph groaned. "Great. Another pushover coming to the ball."

"Do you know him? Wait- have your parents ever seen the Earth King?"

The girl shook her head, and Sokka grinned.

"Well, then, I guess I just proved you wrong. I bet that the Earth King is going to chaperone his nephew, and knowing how completely gullible he is, he'll completely fall for the letter and convince his nephew to stay with him. I'll get to work writing the letter, and you can pick out a disguise-"

"Sokka!"

The warrior stopped in mid-sentence, looking straight at the Earthbender sprawled on the silk bedsheets. Her eyes had a way of penetrating him, a way of making him feel intimidated, even though they saw only darkness. It made him feel like he was being reprimanded, only by a blind girl's eyes.

"Sokka, the ball's only a few days away. We can't possibly do all this in such a short amount of time. Besides, even though most of these suitors are disgusting, creepy, or flat out weird, they've been educated by the finest. They're not dense, and they probably know better than to believe your sloppy handwriting."

She paused for a minute, certain that her argument had a valid point, but Sokka was steadfast. "How do you know for sure?"

A quiet moment, then Toph retaliated.

"You can try your crazy scheme, but I can guarantee that you won't succeed."

With a wave of her hand, she dismissed him, and before he knew it, he was climbing out the window, huffing something about his "great plan" and "underappreciation".

The blind girl lay still on the bed, thinking. Then she closed her eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

I wish for things I know will never happen.

I wish that I don't have to be so tough all the time.

I wish that people could see past this exterior sometimes and just see...

Me.

Me, the girl. The person. The girl who sees, who laughs, who enjoys more than just hurting people.

I wish they could see how real I am.

I wish they could see me for who I am.

I'm not a puppet, Mom. I'm not your doll, Dad.

I'm Toph Bei Fong. I decide what to do with my life.

And... if you could see me, Sokka, you'd know.

You'd know what I think of you, and Katara, and Aang.

You'd know more than I'd want you to know

And for now, I'd want that. Just for now.

It'll be a secret we'd keep.

A secret we'd know.

But if you knew, things would never be the same.

Mai,

I hope you're doing well. We're nearly at the North Pole now, and I plan to turn home shortly.

I miss you. Give my regards to Uncle.

Yours,

Zuko.

The cabin was dark, and she found herself awake again, in the middle of the night. The ship tossed lightly above the rolling waves, and she shivered as she crawled out of the warm blankets.

We're close now, Aang. We're so close to the North Pole.

Pulling on a cloth robe and her boots, she quietly opened the door of her cabin, locked it, then stepped out into the dimly-lit hallway. She had been walking down this hallway for a while now, long enough that she had remembered how to get to the infirmary without even opening her eyes. But... she needed her vision now. She needed to see him again.

It had been a while since the ship's doctor had cast her out of the infirmary, and she was certain that everyone on board was asleep by now. Except for her, and... perhaps Zuko. Katara understood that he had been somewhat reluctant to leave his home after the newly restored peace. She knew that he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, to make amends with his uncle... the prince had to do so many things. But redeeming his nation came first.

She tried opening the infirmary door. Locked. She scowled, impatient, and quickly reached for her waterskin on impulse. It wasn't there; she hadn't brought it with her.

"Need a hand?" The voice was familiar now, and as reluctant as she was, Katara looked into his face and accepted his help.

"Go ahead. I need to check on Aang." She nodded, impatient, and he quickly took a key out of his pocket, holding it up to the door.

"It looks like this is the one." The sound of the key wrestling with the lock, eventually forcing it open. The door creaked as he led her inside.

"Go on. I'll wait outside." Zuko said into the darkness. He lit a small flame on the palm of his hand, big enough so that Katara could find a candle, and she handed it to him.

"Light it," she ordered, and he did, handing it to her without a word.

Nodding curtly, she gave him a faint smile before walking to Aang's side again, like she had done so many times before.

On impulse, he followed, and seeing the girl's frail, fragile smile as she gazed upon the boy's face, he stood by her side, feeling like she needed him there.

"Aang, do you want to go down there?"

He was asked the question again. He looked down and saw nothing, nothing, until a blur came into view, a blur of shapes and colors and figures.

"Go down? There?"

His voice startled him; he hadn't spoken in such a long time. Somehow, he had the strength to think now, and he saw the world below him as the blurred shapes came into clear, crisp focus.

"The physical world is waiting. A world of hurt, sorrow, but you will live. You will live, but you will feel pain again."

"What pain?"

"The wounds of your last battle. The wounds that will take many years to recover from, but the wounds that your friends have cared for."

He stared into the colorful mass, full of vibrant life. He looked above him. Stars, strewn across the sky, glistened and spun. He tried to feel, but only felt a strange, pleasing numbness, like his body was gone and his soul was gone.

He understood, now. This was the spiritual world; he was dead here. He was a spirit, but his body... miraculously, his body lived on in the physical world.

"You have a second chance, Avatar Aang. You may choose life or death."

The boy looked about him and understood. The spirits were giving him a choice.

He tried to remember what it was like down there...

He couldn't.

"What... what is it like in the physical world?" He asked quietly into the black abyss.

"What do you remember?"

"Nothing... nothing at all." He closed his eyes, trying to recall something he had felt before, something so strong that it could transcend death. Above him, the stars shone with an intensity that seemed to burn through the darkness.

"What do you remember?"

"I'm... trying." He thought, thought of that swirling mass of shapes and colors, and thought of nothing. Nothing was that important to him. Nothing made him want to go down there and suffer the pain, suffer the pain from what he had done for the world.

"What do you remember?"

"I don't... I don't..."

Then, it came to him. A memory that burned through his heart, a memory that tore him apart and nearly reduced him to tears. It was a thought, a color, a feeling. It was something he didn't know he remembered, but something that he had known since the day he was truly found.

"This memory..."

The stars started to form constellations, constellations that seemed sewn into the pitch-black of the sky. He stared at the skies, feeling something that he had felt for so long. If it was the last thing he had to do... he had to go back again, he had to tell her. He had to feel this memory again, feel the intensity of her perfect cerulean eyes burning into his. He had to see her again, smell her, hear her beautiful laugh and laugh with her. He wanted... he wanted...

"I want to live again." He told the stars. He told the spirits, he told the sky... he told the world. And suddenly...

Everything was gone. Only he was there, floating in the silence.

"I know you're there, Aang. Somewhere in there. But it's alright, we're going to make you better."

I know you. I know who you are, I've seen you before. I think I loved you.

Zuko quietly stood by her side, wondering if she noticed his prescence, but her eyes were fixed on the limp, lifeless body that lay before her.

"I know that you're going to be alright. I know you're not gonna die."

I think I was dead. I don't know. I just know that it was your memory that brought me back.

"The North Pole. Wasn't the North Pole... fun?" She smiled faintly. "Remember, Sokka and Yue? And the huge banquet, and waterbending lessons, and..."

She stopped for a minute, realizing that she was talking to a body that didn't live anymore, a body that was so close to death that it had stopped being real to her.

And then she realized that the body was limp, lifeless.

It was beyond rescue.

The tears welling up in her eyes flowed down, and soon, she was crying silently, turning away from the boy that she knew would die. She had given up; there was no hope now. There was no chance that he would open his eyes, there was no chance anymore. She knew that every breath of his lungs would be one of his last. He was dying now, before her eyes.

Why had she been so blind before?

She had wanted him to live so much, so much, that she had forgotten that he was injured beyond hope... he was nearly gone.

I hope I've made the right choice. I know... I know I have, though. I just want to be with you again.

On instinct, Zuko was at her side. "He's going to be fine," he attempted, trying not to look embarrased. "The North Pole is in sight, he'll be healed-"

"There's no way we can heal him now," she whispered, attempting to wipe her tears. "He's already gone."

I know your name. I know, I remember. I missed you.

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly. "He's still alive."

"He's not going to be any longer. There's not a chance. Look at him... look at him."

Zuko looked, and saw what she saw. His heart sank, he had seen so much of this before, and he never wanted to see it again.

I know your name.

The girl looked at him with an expression that gave his heart pangs, and he recognized the feeling. It was one of disappointment, depression, a look of lost hope. He had seen it so many times, on the faces of his uncle, on the faces of the refugees of Ba Sing Se, he had seen it on the war prisoners he had visited when he was younger. But he had felt it before, and that was what made him realize that she needed him.

Slowly, hesitantly, he walked to the girl and put a hand on her shoulder.

I loved you... I love you still, a lot. I loved you...

On instinct, she recoiled from his touch, but the look on his face was earnest, and she felt herself relaxing, then falling into his arms, the tears streaming down and her heart breaking.

"I know you need someone," he thought. "I guess I'm here, then."

She knew these words without having to hear them, and she cried, cried for her lost friend, the arms of her once-sworn enemy holding her as she broke completely.

...Katara.

It must have been a strange sight, a Water Tribe girl sobbing into the arms of the Prince of the Fire Nation, but it felt right to them, felt right for some reason. She needed someone to hold on to, somebody in place of Aang... she needed someone. Maybe he was the one she needed.

And as grey eyes flickered open and a thirteen-year-old boy woke up from his makeshift bed, the first thing he saw was the love of his life with somebody else in her arms.

End of Part One