Ghosts of the Past

She was running. Running frantically through the forest, twigs breaking underfoot, branches obstructing her path, catching on her clothes and scratching at her bare skin. She had to catch him, had to stop him; she couldn't let him do this. She couldn't lose him. Not again.

She could see him ahead, caught glimpses of him through the foliage, before he would disappear again. She stopped dead in her tracks when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a clearing, and he was no where to be seen.

She scanned the forest frantically, straining her eyes and her ears in an attempt to pinpoint his location, she couldn't have lost him that easily. Could she?

Suddenly she saw him step out of the shrubbery, almost as if it had just expelled him, and stalk towards her with all the grace of a lion, and the same intent predatory eyes; and a fission of anticipatory fear raced up her spine.

"Having fun, Maxie?" he purred as he advanced on her, all controlled power.

"I've had more fun shaving my legs," she retorted with an unimpressed shrug, as she backed away from him, her eyes never leaving him.

"Don't lie Maxie. You feel it as much as I do. The thrill of the chase. The rush you get from having the life of another person in your hands, and the absolute power of gifting them with death."

"Killing someone is not a gift. What you're doing is wrong, and you have to stop. This is not who you are!" Max implored vehemently, begging him to see, to understand, and not make her do what she knew he was going to make her do in the end.

"You're wrong Max. This is who I am. This is who you are. Who we all are. This is what we were designed for, what they intended for us to be, and you can't fight it. Just like you can't fight the nightmares, or the seizures, or the rush that courses uncharted through your veins every time you pull off the perfect B&E, kick someone's ass, speed through the streets on your bike… or kill."

"That's not true," Max whispered, sounding as if she weren't completely convinced her words were the truth. "That's not who I am, and that's not who you are," she ground out determinedly.

"I accept who I am Max, and this is who I am. I can't help it. And it's who you are too. How many people have you killed?" he asked as he raised a quizzical eyebrow, his eyes belying the fact that he already knew the answer. "How many were people you cared about? How many did you kill unintentionally?

Max's eyes immediately flew to the ground, unable to meet his gaze, a tortured look marring her face.

"Don't you see? Even when you don't intend to kill them, you do anyway," he said gently, as if explaining it to a child. "It proves that you truly were born to do this…to be this.

"No, no, no, no, no…" Max muttered over and over, shaking her head, a tear escaping down her cheek.

"Yes Max, you just need to embrace it."

"No! I'm not going to go around killing people… and neither are you," Max said as she composed herself, squaring her shoulders, her eyes once again blazing defiantly.

"Well, looks like you're gonna havta stop me Maxie…again."

Max advanced cautiously, her brain desperately trying to find a solution other than this. She did not want to have to fight him. She couldn't bare it if she hurt him. She loved him too much.

They circled each other cautiously, the tension emanating between them seeming to shrink the forest around them, leaving them as the only two beings in existence.

"You know Max, if you can't do it—"

His words were cut off as Max swung her leg in a wide arch, catching him square on the chin, snapping his head to the side. She followed swiftly with a barrage of kicks and punches, some getting through, the rest expertly blocked.

He recovered smoothly, retaliating strongly, making Max defend heavily. Max cleared her mind, focusing on the fight at hand, on him. He advanced relentlessly, not giving an inch, his eyes blank and unseeing. He no longer recognised her, set on his mission of subduing her. And it was working, she was rapidly tiring. The fight felt like it went on forever, but she knew that in reality it only lasted moments.

She flipped over his head, spinning through the air and bringing her booted foot down forcefully across his tibia and fibula. The sound of snapping bones echoed around the empty forest.

As she took a step backwards she saw him sink to the ground, his head turning to look over his shoulder at her, the eyes that only a moment ago were unseeing and emotionless were filled with fear and betrayal, and to her horror, they weren't those of the man she had just fought.

"Oh my God…?" she breathed brokenly, falling to the forest floor at his side and cradling his head in her arms as she rocked him. "What have I done?"

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean it… I'm so sorry…" she cried openly, tears streaking a wet path down her face.

"They're coming Maxie. You know what you have to do."

"I can't. I won't." she declared, fire in her eyes.

"You have to, there's no other way and you know it."

"No… please don't make me do it. Not again." she begged desperately, a hiccup escaping as she tried to contain her sobbing.

"You know what they'll do to me. I want you to do it Max, I need you to do it. Just remember last time. It'll be just like last --" SNAP

Max could feel the pain and heartache overtake her as she sat there cradling his now limp body in her arms. It was so powerful that she couldn't breathe, it had literally constricted her throat and lungs. She was desperately trying to pull in air, but found herself gasping.

The pain of having killed him was tearing her apart. She was struggling frantically against whatever was holding her down, her arms and legs restrained and this weight bearing down on her chest so she couldn't breathe. She gave way to the pain-wracked sob that was trying to escape her and dissolved into a fit of hysterical sobs.

She was suddenly ripped from her nightmare by the sounds of her own sobbing. Her eyes snapped open and she instantly sucked in as much air as she could, the pressure still sitting heavily on her chest. She gasped in mouthful after mouthful, trying to quell the tight breathlessness in her chest, but found it had no effect except light-headedness, as she began to hyperventilate.

She stumbled out of bed vaguely realising that her tangled sheets were what had been responsible for restraining her in her sleep. She stood unsteadily in the middle of the room, hands on her knees, bent over, desperately trying to calm her breathing and her racing heart.

oOoOoOoOo

Alec found himself pulled from sleep by an unknown force. It took him a moment to recognise where he was, and why he was sleeping on Max's uncomfortable couch. He stilled, trying to work out what had woken him, and why his inner sense was telling him something was wrong.

Then he heard it. The soft sounds of someone rolling over in bed coming from Max's room, and then it all went quiet. She was probably still too mad with him to be able sleep, he thought with a smile as he rolled over, trying to go back to sleep.

Then he heard it again, recognising the sound that had invaded his sleep - the sounds of anguished whimpering. As he quietly got up and made his way towards Max's room, he heard a pain filled sob, and the frantic rustling of sheets.

He rushed through her door, skidding to a halt in the middle of her room his eyes focused on her empty bed. His eyes flicked to where he saw her hunched over in the shadows, bent over hyperventilating, and his heart constricted painfully at the sight of her in so much pain.

"Max, are you okay?" Alec asked, as he moved cautiously towards her.

Max looked up, shock on her face and tension in her muscles, she hadn't heard anyone enter the room. "Alec?"

"Yeah, it's me Max. What happened?" he asked, as he tentatively laid a warm hand on her back and rubbed in soothing circles to try and help her breathing.

As his hand touched her back and started its soothing motion Max managed to suck in a deep breath and release it slowly. The unexpected relief that rushed through her from that simple touch sent her reeling, and the emotions that it provoked sent her into another bout of sobbing.

"Hey, hey, hey… It's okay Max, everything is okay now, I've got you," Alec said softly as he shushed her, taking her by the arms and drawing her up, pulling her into his chest to hold her tight.

Max found that that simple act of friendship and intimacy was all it took to make her remember what she had done in her nightmare. She clung to him like she were a dying woman, burying her face in his chest as the sobs wracked her tiny frame, a wet patch steadily spreading across his shirt.

"Max, tell me what happened?" Alec asked, as he leaned back slightly to try and meet her gaze.

Max burrowed deeper into his chest hiding her face and shaking her head 'no'.

"It's okay," Alec soothed, tightening his hold on her, one hand rubbing lazy circles across her back, the other one stroking her hair. "I just thought if you told me we could work it out together."

"You can't."

"Can't what?"

"You can't make this better Alec," she said, pulling away and meeting his gaze for the first time. "It can't be made better. Not this time," she declared brokenly, fresh tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Let me try," his eyes imploring her to relent, before he pulled her back into his chest. And she wanted to. She desperately wanted to tell him everything and let him make it all better for her like he always did. But she knew that if she told him he would never again look at her like he just had.

oOoOoOoOo

As he sat in the Mess Hall and pushed his breakfast around his plate, all Alec could think about was Max and her nightmare. Alec was no stranger to violent, terrifying dreams; but something about the way she had reacted to him when he had entered her room and tried to comfort her had told him that this was different.

He remembered how she had clung to him like a lifeline, and when she looked at him he saw sadness, regret and guilt - all things a dream about Ben would provoke. But what had confused him most was that she had know immediately upon seeing him that he was Alec, and he could have sworn she wasn't just clinging to him and pretending it was Ben giving her comfort. Her eyes told him that she had been glad that it was him there.

But that still hadn't been enough to get her to open up to him and tell him what her dream had been about. Instead she had composed herself somewhat and told him he couldn't fix it, that she was fine, that it was just a bad dream, nothing to worry about, and that he should go and get some sleep.

He had wanted to argue with her – badly – but he saw how tenuous her grasp on her emotions were, so he had returned to the couch like she had asked. He hadn't been able to sleep after that, lying awake for the rest of the night listening to Max toss and turn, knowing that she couldn't sleep either.

He had left in the early morning, returning to his apartment to shower before heading to H.Q. He had gotten a little work done, but his thoughts kept drifting to a certain brunette.

So now he was sitting here pushing his breakfast around his plate while trying to work out what he should do.

oOoOoOoOo

Max heard Alec slide off the couch and quietly leave her apartment, the front door clicking softly behind him. She hadn't gone back to sleep after her nightmare, she had been too terrified of a repeat performance. She had lain awake trying not to think about her dream, instead listening to Alec restlessly turning on the couch. She knew he hadn't gone back to sleep either.

She pulled herself out of bed and padded to the bathroom. She needed a shower, and she needed to get back to work. If she buried herself in work she wouldn't have anytime to think about last night and Alec, right? Well, it had always worked for her in the past.

As she left her apartment she was in need of a caffeine hit, more for the comforting and familiar action than the little effect it had on her physically, so she headed towards the Mess.

"Heya Max," Morris greeted. "You come for some breakfast? We've got eggs."

"Nah, thanks. I came in search of a heart starter."

"The good coffee's in the back, help yourself," Morris replied with a wink.

oOoOoOoOo

Alec had just decided he had finished tormenting his breakfast when he saw her enter. As he looked her over he noticed Max looked more tired and haggard than usual. Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes dull.

He got up and cleared his plate, 'bumping' into her on his way out.

"Heya Max. You heading over to Headquarters?"

"Yeah," she muttered slightly taken aback, she had assumed that he was already there.

"Mind if I walk with you?"

"Not as long as your ass keeps up," she mumbled as she continued briskly towards their destination, hoping speed would be her ally against an awkward conversation.

Alec didn't know how to broach the subject, he just wasn't optimised for all this mushy, emotional crap; and thankfully he realised, Max wasn't either. So he just dove right in.

"So… how are you doing?" he asked quietly, as he ran a nervous hand through his hair and stole a sideways glance at her.

Max glanced back at him, not slowing her pace one bit. "Fine."

"Because you know if you ever need anything …" he offered, turning to look her in the eye.

"I know," she replied softly as she met his gaze, holding it. "And thanks…for last night. And for not trying to make me talk about it."

"You're welcome. But if you ever need to—"

"I know," Max said quickly, cutting him off. "I won't. Some things I don't even like knowing about myself," she said quietly and she lowered her head, breaking the spell.

"Max—"

"Alec don't…" she entreated, stopping abruptly to look at him. "…just…don't" she whispered, as she turned and walked into her office, leaving him to stare after her.

A/N: More Max and Alec fireworks coming up shortly! But alas you are all going to have to wait till after the weekend because I have plans. If I get enough reviews between now and then I might stay up late on Sunday when I get back and post. Hope you all have a good weekend!