Warning: Pervert?Kuja... maybe not. maybe he's hiding man-boobs under that armor of his. Would make sense in my head.
X. Open Heart.
The dictator of golden hair and armor rested his chin upon his wrist, staring at him with malice while sitting on the throne of the old shrine. "You can't be possibly... be developing feelings for this girl, can you?" Kuja's eyebrow twitched at his question. He just pronounced a dry laugh and looked back at the Emperor with repulsion.
"Feelings? Who do you think I am, honestly? Do you think I'd just throw away all my efforts for such a weak-minded child?" It didn't concern Mateus what were his plans. In addition that the fool wouldn't talk to him unless he wanted to humiliate him in some sort of way.
"Then, I suppose that being assaulted by three of Cosmos Warriors was part of your plan all along. Did you trust her to come and save you?"
"I had everything under control. The girl is maddly in love with me."
His pupils sharp as knives pointed at the young mage. "... I doubt so."
"Fine. It doesn't need your approval to work. The girl is all mine, and that's all what matters."
"And... if she's not?"
Kuja snorted, trying so hard to don't look nervous. "Preposterous." It was the first time one of Chaos' warriors made him sweat.
"We both know the truth very well, Kuja." said the Emperor crossing his legs on the throne that wasn't his. "When we can finally uncover the reality, that's when you're gonna face your judgement. Unless, of course, you stop playing the lovebird and force the girl to your side, where I suppose she and her destructive magic will have a more useful role in this war."
"Is that a warning I hear? Don't make me laugh."
But abruptly, a macabre laughter broke through the entire room, echoing all the way inside his ears. The evil monarch was indeed enjoying the play, for he could see through the actor's lies and ruin the perfomance for his amusement.
"It is laugh the one thing that won't come out of your lips if you fail again to prove where's your loyalty. However, it'd be quite pleasant to hear your whimp for mercy on your knees."
It took the youth a lot of self-control—even more than he thought he'd posses—to don't let his rage explode right there. There were black and golden ashes and echoes of a cry of anguish filling the shrine, but they were all on Kuja's imagination. The Emperor was still there smirking at him.
The fact that he wasn't free to scorch the bastard right there was so frustrating, and ever since his neck was in danger among fellow warriors, Kuja's every movement was under careful watch. Anything he did would be used against him anytime.
"Disgusting fiend..."
The girl wasn't afraid of him judging her. After all, everyone had to endure this kind of embarrassment at least once on their lives. Kuja had, but if he survived then Terra would. One of the manikins on its last breath managed to tear the upper end of the girl's flory frock, ripping in the middle, but fortunately didn't leave a severe bruise on the Terra's chest.
"... I think I might need a new dress." she said, seeing how pointless was to keep the torn halved top of her vest together. The cut wasn't too severe but if she started walking then the fabric would move from its place and leave at least one of her breasts exposed.
As a lover of good-sense in fashion, he couldn't ignore the girl's problem. "Can't be really that bad. Allow me to take a look at it, bird." At his demand, Terra stared at him dumbfounded, clueless and maybe ashamed.
It was a natural reaction, he thought. Of course, it wasn't very nice if a man demanded to take a closer look to a lady's breasts. And it was funny, because he didn't think about it like that, for he genuinely wanted to fix her dress. At the reflection, Kuja felt some heat running up his face and abruptly turned his face from her chest. There was a large silence after that.
"O-okay, I guess..." she whispered, carefully putting her hands down to don't make the fabric fall from her bust. The white mage didn't hurried his moves when his hands took delicately the borders of the torn dress. It was certainly odd having her so intimately close with his thin fingers virtually grazing her bosoms. But it wasn't time to think about how soft her round breasts looked, he was trying to figure out how to tie both borders together, but the fabric was too smooth to be knot. Added to each time his long fingernails brushed her skin she grew more and more nervous. "Can it be fixed?" she finally asked.
"...No, this won't do." he grumbled pulling the cloth as high as he could in order to prevent his eyes to see beyond he should, but didn't lose sight of how his action pushed the white breasts up. He quickle turned himself away, to conceal his highly agitated expression. "You are right. What you need is a new outfit."
She slowly got her hands back on her chest, her face looked like in fever. "Okay, then... there's a moogle somewhere close here." she mentioned looking at the afar wasteland. "I might purchase some clothes from..."
"Are you planning on walking around like that? I'm not going to allow that happen, dear Terra!"
"But it's okay... It mustn't be far..."
He had no patience for certain words that showed no prudence. How was she expecting him to let her wander with her broken vest? Besides, darling Kuja would sure be charmed on helping the girl's distress. Without second thoughts, the young man undid the iron belt beneath his violet guard.
It was all weird, doing this for someone. But he slipped his long sleeves carefully out of his armor, being left with his short golden chest-plate and the white clothes that protected his arms.
"Here. I do not need it more than you do now." Coldly, he handed it to the girl, who hesitantly accepted it. It wasn't a very big guard, but it would be enough to cover her ripped garment. "I want it back when you get your new clothes, so I beg you to don't ruin it while you wear it." Warned by him, she put it on with extreme heed, smiling softly when she finished.
"... Thank you. This is nice."
He was filled with that feeling again, seeing her adopting that mystic beauty again. It was just a smile. But something about it made him sick and yet so... content.
They were about to lose, being surrounded by many more than they were capable of count due their exhaustion. For each one they destroyed, another three seemed to come out of nowhere. Cloud and Zidane tried to run away, but, well, the manikins weren't letting them have a chance.
The swordsman took several blows protecting the monkey-tailed youth, and he was now barely on his feet. At those conditions, they wouldn't resist much longer.
But a miracle happened. No, it was more like backup arriving to save their butts. Three of their comrades entered the battlefield with all their fierce, mercilessly slaying the crystal soldiers with all their might. Zidane had more energy left to help his friends on finishing them off, but Cloud was too injured to assist further.
Squall, Bartz and Onion Knight ended up weary, but not as badly hurt as the two first warriors.
"We owe you, guys. If you didn't come, we'd sure be goners now." Zidane claimed cleaning the blood and sweat off his temples. But the grim teenager didn't seem as glad as the short thief. "What's with your face, Squall?"
"Those manikins, they appeared out of nowhere, didn't they?" he murmured. "What if a Chaos warrior sent them?... And what were you two doing here alone?"
"... And you came all the way here for what...?" Zidane asked back. The mime became seemingly uncomfortable. Onion Knight stepped foward with brave eyes.
"I came for Terra. Squall... well, he..." the boy turned his head to the taller youth, and surprisingly, Squall didn't look as cold as always, but deeply disturbed by something. Terra was again the core of the matter.
"She's putting everyone in danger on trusting that man." he hissed. He briefly looked at Cloud enduring his weight on his sword. "Besides, the two of you were involved into this mess..."
Onion interfered once more. "He's probably going to harm her! Maybe he'll use some dirty mind tricks to place her on his side! And...!" The thief frowned at both of them.
"Wait, you guys! Kuja is not...!" Before he could continue, he saw Cloud moving onwards, slightly limping but taking a firm posture despite his wounds. "Cloud?"
"The manikins were set to distract us, if Terra didn't come back, something bad must've happened to her." the soldier claimed with grave voice. "We shouldn't waste anymore time here."
"Off we go!" said the young boy following and almost dragging the poor warrior.
And Zidane had to recognize that Cloud was right. All of sudden they were attacked by Chaos' minions and it coudn't be coincidence that it happened after he spied on Terra's reunion with Kuja. It was fishy and he didn't like it, but if he cared for his friend's well-being he had to go along the little troop until finding Kuja and the girl.
So he walked with Bartz on his side, always willing to watch his mate's back, but he looked back at Squall, standing motionless from where he last talked. And Zidane felt bad, because, besides not understanding his loner friend at all, he somehow felt that it was him who dragged Squall into his struggle with Kuja.
"... Squall, I know you don't get along with her, so if you don't wanna come..."
The bitter young man scowled at the blond lad. "And leave you to get yourself killed by that drag-queen? Sure." he grunted, almost walking through Zidane. And the thief grinned: that was the old cynical Leonhart he knew.
"Geez, if you wanted to come you just needed to say it, man." he said and without warning shook the taller teen's shoulder with slight annoyance. "And this time, I'll do the talking, okay?"
"Whatever."
Amidst the plains of gray, they walked for nearly one hour without finding any trace of the wandering moogle. She became a bit umpatient, because she didn't want to abuse of Kuja's newly-found charity... not to tell that the armored bolero was a bit uncomfortable to wear, though it weren't as heavy as any common armor, thus it was very cold over her skin.
"I was almost certain there was a moogle around here..." she said, stopping to give her feet some rest. It was even strange to don't find those little vendors anywhere, for they were always there to offer their products to the warriors in need. But this had something to do to with the recent assault of manikins, as Kuja suggested, it could be a trap from other servants of Chaos. Besides, she had Zidane and Cloud waiting out there somewhere and she'd make them worry. "No good... We shouldn't go farther away to search for one either."
Kuja walked a few more steps in front of her, finding a big rock with a fairly smooth surface where he could sit. He sighed and crossed his slender legs.
"We could use the transportation stone to get somewhere... but that can't be an option now." he said with a sour aspect on his face... then suddenly stared back at her. "You look terrible with my armor on."
The red mage put her hands on her waist. "... That wasn't very nice, Kuja."
"It's just me, dear. Might be the anxiety. I feel naked without my armor."
"That's uh... well, have you ever considered on using... more clothes?" She surely took out a touchy question, knowing Kuja's character, but it was almost as if the words escaped her mouth more than anything.
The beautiful young man made a gesture and then she wanted to bury back that question.
But he smirked instead of frowning. "I should use more clothes, love, but that'd just prove me more selfish than I am. Should I private the world from admiring my beautiful shape? I'm so generous by letting the foreign eyes see my dazzling ivory skin." And the girl felt puzzled by a second. He grinned but there it remained the feeling of uncertitude, hidden somewhere.
"Well... I never thought that way. I guess it's good to feel confident about your looks."
He arched one eyebrow amused. "Jealous?"
"Not at all. With your constant compliments, I think I feel more self-confident." And it was because there wasn't a single time they met when he didn't spill words of flattery for her... and now she felt grateful. "Even when I don't care much about it... when you say I'm beautiful, I trust your word."
"It gratifies me to hear that." But why was he looking so sad? "To think... I've come to do something right."
The girl felt blue, not being able to forget at all about Kuja's situation. His self-esteem was always high, but regards at his heart, he was completely confused and forlorn thus she could tell by just looking at his eyes sinking in velvet silver. When he looked sad he stopped being gorgeous, just like a withered flower. But he always looked like this... when did her perspective change?
Terra slowly gaited towards the rock and sat at the opposite edge he was sitting. There was still a great distance in between. "Thanks to you I became stronger. There's so many things I've learned from you..." Instantly felt his icy eyes on her.
"But at what price? Anytime, I could have destroyed all your hopes and your freedom."
"And you didn't." And that was the first evidence she had of his true nature and the hint of a more benevolent essence of him. There was one talk they suspended by far too long and here was the perfect moment to get on with it. "Kuja... why were you summoned by Chaos?"
He paled but showed no emotion to her question. His eyes turned darker, almost replaced the ocean blue nearly with black. "... And you still wish me to be honest?... I'll tell you, but you must promise me that... you must be honest with yourself too. If you want to hate me, please don't hold it back."
It was now or never. She's been preparing herself for this moment ever since she met Kuja; though knowing that their memories weren't clear and her own caused her great pain, Terra was willing to take it. She would never pierce through that darkness unless she knew what was beneath it, even if she ended up unable to pity the mage because of the truth.
"... I'm ready to listen." she replied after a brief silence.
The white mage turned and shifted his sitting position to look at her when he'd speak. He placed one armored leg under the other and taking care of the white robe, not showing more of what he should. Until he was comfortable he partially bit his lips and brushed his silver feathers back along his silky hair. There she had a better look of his soft-looking face.
He was going to start, perhaps... from the very beginning. After all, he said he would trust in her, even if she'd hate him at the end of the story.
"I was created, not born. The man who manufactured me meant to send me as an Angel of Death, to cause war and conflict to the hale planet, Gaia, in order to restore the life taken from the moribund planet called Terra."
"... Terra... that's..."
"An unfortunate coincidence, perhaps? I was impressed too when I first heard your name, bird, but allow me to finish my part. I followed my master's instructions, and so I became a weapon's dealer in Gaia. I created living weapons, uncaring werether they did or not have will on their own. And I've used my power of persuasion on a respectful ruler and encouraged her to start war; I even managed to turn her against her own daughter. Perhaps... millions of lives were scorched because of that war.
But... I had plans of my own. I was enslaved by my master, and I desired the power to take him down, before he could turn me into a lifeless doll. One thing I cherished more than anything was the power, because that was the only way to gain my freedom. So I used the queen's greed to seek that power and succeeded to take it... but eventually I had to leave a princess orphan. Until then, as you can imagine, I knew nothing about a small word called remorse. I didn't cease to make everyone's lives miserable.
And the power I took wasn't good enough. I became desperate, searching for any insignificant drop of hope, killing and manipulating anyone who'd get on my way... But eventually, I've found the ultimate power: Trance." Terra leaned her head one side, confounded. "In case you're not familiar, Trance happens when a subject is faced with powerful emotions that carry out extraordinary physical and spiritual strength. It could happen with any living being... but not with me."
"... Why?"
"I, as a soul vessel, wasn't designed to understand certain amount of emotions. But with my body's functions, I was able to store any kind of soul and use their emotions as fuel for my own power without needing to feel. On that way, I ultimately achieved that power and took my master down."
She felt her pulse freezing right there, not knowing what to say or think, but having just one worry in mind. What happened to the souls that Kuja said he used for his own purposes? She didn't wish to know.
Kuja laughed, almost sadly, and covered his face with both his pale hands. Yet his voice never lost any grace. "... I planned to use my new found power to rule both worlds, and give each the prosperity and love they deserved. I wished not to destroy one for the sake of another, for I fell in love with Gaia, a world rich of wonders, and I still held dear my mother Terra... But..." And he stopped talking, while Terra's heart was racing confused and broken. Besides there was one piece of the puzzle left to match.
"... Kuja... what does Zidane have to do with all of this?"
Very gently he touched his face, always hiding his mouth. But his eyes gazed again at the girl. "He, too... is a son of Terra. The master Garland created him after me to serve as a replacement..." His smile grew gloomier, seemingly grinning at the natural hatred brewing of his being. The girl felt some sort of turmoil inside her stomach having heard these words. "Of course, I didn't allow that. I took the child away and abandoned him on Gaia's mercy, but... seemingly, fate would entwine us once again in the eye of the storm."
"... What happened in the end?" It was somehow as her questions triggered something within Kuja, making him stand up again. But what he truly wished was to evade looking at the girl's face.
There was just a dead silence, and that sensation of riot just made her feel sicker.
"Terra was destroyed by my hand." he said.
And suddenly a great commotion invaded her from her neck to her toes, as if something inside her was begging her to cry out. This wasn't okay.
Abruptly, she stretched her hand to grab the long sleeve from Kuja's vest. She didn't find any sense on his words. Her voice was cracking because she tried so hard to don't cry.
"Why would you do it? Wasn't that your home? I thought you wished to reign, but why—?" He pulled away roughly.
"Cease your questions! I don't know! I don't why I did it, alright? I just... don't know... I can't remember." When she looked at his face, they both shared the same expression of despair and pain that his story taught. Right then the red mage knew that they were going though the same, even more than the conceivable facts. She didn't hesitate on getting closer to him, face-to-face, even if she was breaking.
"But you... feel remorse now, don't you? Now you know that what you did was wrong, don't you? You are sad because you can't understand how couldn't you change it."
Kuja squinted his eyes at her umbraged. "How can you understand the way I feel? What makes you act so understanding at my crimes? You do see what kind of monster I am, don't you? What makes you so empathetic to this sinner?"
"Because... maybe I'm not as pure as I seem to be and I also committed terrible crimes, maybe not as great as yours, but they still torment me to these days. That's why I can understand how you feel. I too... live grieving about my sins." Terra tried, but the tears ran free under her cheeks. It felt as if her heart was splitting open. "And I wish... I could have understanded earlier the damage I was causing, but I couldn't, because I was never taught how to feel like a human. Now that I'm able to judge myself, I want to die, because nothing I ever do will ever bring back the lives I've taken. But I've met wonderful people and I've made friends, and I have the power to protect them. That's why I need to fight, because that's the only thing I can do!"
She fell on her knees right there, with all those images overflowing before her eyes and the memory of those deaths weighting on Kuja's borrowed armor, all of her traumas taking effect on her at the same time. And, right there, there was no person to take her back to the right direction, moreover Kuja wasn't that kind of person, she knew.
But among all the people she knew, it had to be with him where she'd fall apart.
The girl kept on sobbing, not having the strength to stand up again, because the pain was too much to endure. "I hate my powers... I hate them so much. Why can't I be like any other human?" she mumbled, covering her hot tears with her red sleeves. "Power has only brought misery to me..."
Lying on her knees in front of him was really pitiful even for her, but she was suddenly overdriven by her emotions in a way that never happened before. As if... she began to feel like a human, more human than esper for the first time. She was an Esper, a creature with the power of magic.
And then, when she finally dried the wetness of her eyes, she saw the beautiful mage squatting in before her, reaching out to graze her ashen curls, softly removing them from her face.
"I can see that. But knowing your own power is a way to break through a prison... But it's also important to don't allow it to consume you. Otherwise... there's no use on having it." he spoke tenderly, while she was mesmerized by the elegant movement of his lips accompanied of his melodious voice and the gentle touch of his fingertips on her temple. "So far, you've proved yourself worthy of that strength... contrary the scum that makes the universe corrupt from the inside out. Do not reject this gift, Terra."
"I'm sorry for making you see me cry. You must have gone through more of hell than I did... and yet, I easily give in to the pain."
He invited her to get up again, not wanting to keep himself in a very uncomfortable position, and so she accepted his helping hand. "That you're capable to feel pain, and that you can let your tears run... that's a sign that you create emotions. You can feel, unlike me."
"But, what are you saying? I've seen you, you have emotions, you're no different from me." she replied, and this time didn't think when she grabbed his hands, the same way he did early this day. "I know we can't always understand what the others might feel, but that doesn't mean that we aren't capable of having feelings." She could feel, therefore he could feel.
His eyes were almost closed, holding a gesture of deep sorrow. "I apologize." Kuja said, but not looking at her a single moment; still, she noticed how his grasp became tighter. "For everything I did to you. Now I see, I can't deserve the kindness you show me." And then he completely shut his eyelids. "I should have known, before it was too late, that those insignificant traits are in fact what makes people beautiful the most. And I can't have that. How could I've guessed that recognizing your sins would be the hardest of trials? It's the most horrible punishment, to live a life unaware just to suddenly open your eyes and watch yourself rotten in the mirror."
Even now, it was hard to believe that he was guilty of doing all the atrocious things he told her. But just admitting his mistakes and feeling remorse about them wouldn't be good enough. She was familiar with that burden.
Still, she didn't want abandon. She cared too much.
"After you get your clothes and we part ways... I shall face my sentence." He was trying to let go of her hands, and even if she didn't resist, he couldn't. He kept on struggling between wanting to stay or leave. "The Chaos Warriors know about my little deals with you, bird. It shan't take them long until they want to hunt me down and erase me from this world. Thus having the Cosmos Warriors blindly fighting each spawn they find like myself, I have no place to run or hide."
He broke free from her fingers, and looked at her with pure blue eyes. Unique and bleak like the sea. She saw no evil in them. Just one sad existence.
Not even realizing of what she did, Terra found herself surrounding with her arms his back, pressing her face against his neck. "... Then, if you have no place to go, you can stay here with me." her quivering voice said. "Let me be that safe place for you, Kuja."
"Why are you doing this?" It was obvious how his discomfort grew, having the girl against his body once again. But it was all just because of their mutual unease to close physical contact. Terra too acknowledged it was weird, but she didn't knew how else to say it.
"Please don't... Don't turn me away yet. Let me hold you for a little longer." she whispered under his left ear, just pressing herself harder, but Kuja didn't do anything to keep her away. "I don't know how to express all these things inside me, but I just know that I don't want you to disappear."
"Would you be sad if I was gone?... Maybe it was better if we never met." His voice was almost humming on her side. It was a very gloomy tune.
"Don't say that."
"Wouldn't you be better without me?"
"No, don't speak like that." Terra kept on shaking her head in denial.
"Maybe if I wasn't even born."
"Stop."
"I should be dead."
The girl embraced the Reaper with all her strength, making her arms and chest hurt, but she didn't care. She heard him moan close to her ear, making her know that he felt pain, that he was alive, just like her.
"... But you're alive. As long as you live, you are capable to change."
"Among all the things I ruined, there's just one small bird who'd grieve if I die." Kuja responded, and his arms succumbed to her will, surrounding her shoulders. "What a terrible joy." he sighed.
A/N: Sorry for the OOC sentimental stuff. I was going to include more material in this chapter, but it'd take a lot more time, besides I gotta keep up with school.