Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, or these characters y'all.
21st August 2012
The past nine days for Arizona, had been utter hell. Nine days ago, she found out her brother, Timothy, had died. This wasn't supposed to happen. Before he left for Iraq, Tim sat his sister down and promised her that he would come home. He promised her that he wouldn't die. But, he did. And Arizona was angry. Angry at him for leaving her after he promised that he wouldn't. She needed him, and he was gone.
Nine days since her brother died, and she still hadn't cried. Even Today, at his funeral, there were no tears. Arizona stood, clutching her mothers hand, watching her brothers body being lowered into the ground, and she didn't shed one single tear. Her father - a man who she had never saw cry - stood for the entire service with tears streaming down his face. She was beginning to think that she was dead inside.
A feeling of emptiness had filled her for nine days.
First the injury and now this. She felt like her life was crumbling around her, as soon as things started to look up; something bad happened. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be happy. Maybe her life was supposed to resemble a car wreck, because right now, it did.
Standing outside her changing room door, head leaning against it, she could faintly hear the whispered voices of her team mates coming from behind the closed door. They were obviously talking about her.
Who wouldn't talk about the emotionally unstable girl that didn't even cry when her brother died?
A bitter laugh escaped her lips.
She knew her whole team thought she was crazy. When she turned up to training last week, Arizona had been on the receiving end of everyone's stares. So, she kept her head down and didn't speak to anyone. It was the pity in their voices that bothered her the most. At home, it had been even worse. Teddy had been walking on eggshells around her all week. In times like this, she was ever grateful for Cristina. The woman's bluntness and sarcastic attitude actually made her feel better, she was the only one that wasn't treating her like a fragile mess.
Letting out a heavy sigh, pushing the door handle down, Arizona makes her way inside. As soon as her team see her standing in the doorway, the whispering stops.
If that didn't confirm they were talking about her then what would?
Fake smile in tow. "Hi."
Teddy was the first one to speak. "Uh, Hi." Looking around at the team for confirmation that Arizona was actually here, and she wasn't seeing things. "What are you doing here?"
Arizona bit her tongue. "It's Sunday." Continuing when no-one answered her. "We always train on Sunday's." Sitting down on the bench, and unpacking her training bag, waiting for the inevitable question that was no doubt about to come.
All eyes turned to Addison, pleading with her to talk some sense into the striker. The red head hated being Captain in situations like this, everyone expected her to ask the questions that no-one else wanted to ask. "Arizona. Your brothers funeral ended less than three hours ago," stopping for a second when the blonde shot her a murderous glance, "you don't need to be here."
An awkward silence filled the air. Several of the players left the room, acting like they weren't paying attention to the conversation that was occurring. No-one wanted to be on the receiving end of Arizona's yelling.
Everyone waited for the snappy reply from the blonde, but it never came. They all looked at their team mate and saw nothing but sadness in her eyes. Even Cristina felt bad for Arizona. You knew it was a bad situation, if Cristina felt bad for a person. The woman was made of stone.
Taking a deep breath. "I know." Arizona spoke up. "I just- I can't just sit at home and do nothing all night." Picking up a folded t-shirt from her bag. "I need to be here, okay? Just let me be here, and don't ask me about today. Please." The desperation in her voice was clear, and Addison decided not to argue. She began putting her training clothes on, when her Captain gave her a nod approval. Looking around to see who was in attendance. Her face fell when she noticed a certain face was missing.
Most of the team had started making their way from the changing room to the training field. Arizona stood up from the bench, kicking her trainers off. She pulled her boots out from her bag and slipped them on, leaning down on the floor to tie them. Standing back up, quickly realizing that it was just Lexie still present in the room. The younger girl was staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face. "You okay, Lex?"
Lexie's eyes widened in response. "What? No, I'm fine." Her face immediately turning red. "I should be the one asking you that question."
A small smile appeared on the blondes face. "I'm okay." She had lost count of the amount of times she had said those two words in the past nine days. Turning her back to the brunette. She liked Lexie, they got on well. The midfielder genuinely cared about everyone on the team, and this made her one of Arizona's favorite people.
"You know, when my Mom died, I was a mess." Lexie blurted out, she noticed that Arizona had turned to face her again, and carried on. "I cried. A lot. And then one day I stopped crying, and I spoke to Meredith about everything I was feeling. And I think," she took a long pause, "I think that you need to talk about it to someone."
Arizona stood in shock. She didn't think Lexie Grey would be the person that was basically telling her to get a grip and snap out it. "Look, Lex, its,-"
"I'm not saying talk to me." Lexie interrupted with a laugh. "I'm just saying- you should talk to someone. Okay?"
Nodding her head. "Thanks, Lex." She appreciated the thoughtful words, but Arizona wasn't gonna talk to anyone. She wasn't the kind of person that just poured their heart out for the sake of it. The situation didn't need to be talked about. She was dealing with it. "Come on. We should head out."
Arizona didn't know it yet, but in an hour's time, she would find out that in fact; she was not dealing with it.
An hour into the training session and Chief Webber's eyes scanned the sight in front of him. His team were quiet, too quiet. Normally, during training, he had to tell them all on multiple occasions to shut up. That hadn't happened today. His team were jogging quietly around the pitch, barely saying a word to each other. His eyes locked on his broken looking striker. Shaking his head, "Robbins," motioning with his hand for the number ten to make her way over to him.
Arizona stopped running when she heard the Chief's voice. Walking backwards to where he was standing, "What's up, Chief?" She puffed, slightly out of breath from the run.
Looking her up and down. "Robbins, go home." He couldn't believe she was actually here. She looked completely drained.
She raised an eyebrow. "Uh. Why would I go home?"
The Chief knew what she was trying to do, and saw right through it. Arizona wasn't fooling anyone. "Robbins, you're not fine." He gave her a look when she was about to interrupt him. "You can pretend as much as you want, but you're not fine." His eyes softened, when she dropped her head. "Go home, Arizona." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
Clearing her throat. "Okay." She hadn't planned to say that, she had prepared a whole argument in her head, but she didn't have the physical energy to say any of it out loud. Turning her back on him, and walking slowly in the direction of the building. Her shoulders felt heavy, like she was carrying a dead weight on them. Unable to close her eyes without seeing an image of her brother standing in front of her.
When was this feeling going to disappear?
Flinging open the changing room door, tearing her jumper off and throwing it on to the bench. Ridding herself of the rest of her clothes, she walks to the showers and steps into a cubicle, putting on a shower cap because she knows that she won't have the physical energy to dry her hair once she gets out. The hot water engulfs her.
Arizona didn't know how long she stood motionless in the shower. There were so many things running through her mind.
Was Tim alone when he died? Did he die instantly? How much pain was he in? Did he think about her in the last minutes of his life?
These questions were eating her alive.
Snapping out of her thoughts, reaching her hand up and turning the hot water off. Grabbing the towel that was hanging on the door, and drying her whole body. Trudging her feet back to the main room. Dropping her towel, and lifting her clean clothes out of her bag, putting them on painfully slowly. Once she was fully dressed, she sat down on the bench. Her hands went over her face, and she closed her eyes.
A few minutes passed and she was still sat in the same position. Her body froze when she heard the door being pulled open, and footsteps walking towards her. Looking up, a small smile graced her features when she saw who had appeared. "Hey."
"Hey." Callie replied. This wasn't what she expected to walk into. This being Arizona sitting with her head in her hands, looking like she was about to combust into a flood of tears. "You okay?" Cursing herself as soon as the question left her lips. Obviously the blonde was anything but okay, she had just lost her brother.
It was the concerned tone of her voice, or it could have been the look on Callie's face. Arizona didn't know what it was, but she did know that tears were quickly forming behind her eyes. She hadn't cried all week, and now, at the most inappropriate time- she was about to start crying. "Yeah, I'm fine." Her voice cracked on the word fine. Standing up, turning her back on Callie, she started throwing all her belongings into her bag. "Where were you?" She asked, hoping that Callie wouldn't ask her anything else and she could just quickly leave.
Callie saw a tear roll down Arizona's face. "I was doing an interview." Taking a step forward, gently grasping the blondes elbow and turning her around. "You really don't look okay."
Letting out a hollow laugh. "Kick a girl when she's down, Callie." Quickly reaching her hand up, and wiping away a tear, praying that Callie didn't see it.
Callie did see it. Her hands wrapped gently around the blondes wrists, "It's okay to cry." Teddy had told her and Addison that Arizona hadn't cried once. Hearing this news didn't surprise her at all, she knew that Arizona was the type of person that thought crying was a sign of weakness.
Shaking her head. "No, I'm fine." She needed out of this changing room, right now.
"No, you're not." Callie stated firmly. She knew that this could backfire. Arizona had be known to snap at anyone if they pushed her too far.
Trying to pull her hands free from Callie's grasp, her throat closed up when the brunette wouldn't let her go. "Please. Just let me go. I- I," the words wouldn't leave her mouth.
Taking another step forward, bringing her body within inches of Arizona's. "I'm not gonna let you go."
"Please, Callie." Tugging at her hands, attempting to bring them loose. "I- I need to," her words failed her. As much as Arizona willed herself to speak; she physically couldn't. Nothing was coming out.
"Arizona." Callie spoke softly.
That was it.
Violent sobs erupted Arizona's entire body and she began to tremble as the tears spilled down her face. Callie quickly reached forward and wrapped her arms around Arizona's waist. Arizona fell heavily into the embrace and flung her arms around Callie's neck, burying her head into a tanned shoulder. Nine days worth of tears were currently making their way down Callie's neck, but she didn't care. Callie knew this is what Arizona needed, she pulled the crying woman in impossibly closer and started running her hands through soft blonde hair. Now, sobbing uncontrollably, Arizona burrowed her head further into Callie's neck, her whole body was shaking. The Latina lowered her head and started mumbling comforting words into Arizona's ear. Arizona had her hands locked in a vice grip around Callie's neck, refusing to let her go.
For the first time in nine days, Arizona didn't feel empty. It terrified her when she realized how much she needed this. How much she needed the person that was holding her tightly. As the sobs began to die down, Arizona pulled her head back, and found herself staring deep into chocolate brown eyes. Surprised when she saw no pity resting within them. "I'm sorry." Dropping her hands and placing them on Callie's hips.
Callie brushed her thumbs across tear stained cheeks, wiping away the stray tears. "Don't be sorry." She was scared that Arizona would become embarrassed, and quickly put her resolve back up.
Arizona leaned into the touch. The physical contact was the only thing that was keeping her calm. "I don't know what happened, there." Her voice was small. She kept her eyes firmly planted on her shoes.
Lowering her hands to place them over the pale ones that were resting on her own hips. "Look at me." She knew the striker wouldn't look up. "Look at me, Arizona." Callie repeated again. Watching the blonde hesitatingly raise her head. Their eyes connected. "You don't have to apologize for that, okay?" Her heart broke when the blue eyes in front of her filled with tears again. "Come here." Opening her arms. Arizona fell into them straight away. She could feel the tears from the other woman's face on her neck. It was heart-breaking.
They stood wrapped around each other for a few more minutes, before Callie pulled back. "I'm gonna take you home."
"No." Arizona responded quickly. Shaking her head, "I don't wanna go home." Taking a step back, immediately missing the warmth from Callie's embrace.
Callie knew what to do. She stepped towards the blondes bag, and packed the remaining things into it. "We're gonna go somewhere." Lifting the bag up, and turning around to face Arizona.
"Where?" Arizona asked, her voice was hoarse from the crying.
"Do you trust me?" Was Callie's only reply.
That was the scary thing. Arizona did trust Callie, and it terrified her. She wanted to say no. She wanted to tell Callie that she was fine and didn't need anything from her. But, as soon as they made eye contact; Arizona was done for. She'd let Callie take her anywhere.
"I trust you." Arizona admitted.
They had been in Callie's car for 25 minutes. Arizona didn't know where they were, and she didn't ask. The car ride had been quiet, Callie looked over every few minutes to make sure that Arizona was okay. The blonde stared motionless out of the window, watching as Callie drove them up a huge hill. Pulling the car into the small car park, Callie turned the engine off and turned to Arizona.
Arizona looked around in moderate amusement. "You brought me to the park?"
Callie laughed. "I didn't bring you to the park." Her lips twitched upwards when she saw Arizona raise an eyebrow. "Okay, I brought you to the park." She quickly glanced towards the hill to see if anyone was around, letting out a thankful sigh when there was no-one in sight. "But, we're not here for the park."
Confusion washed over her. "I don't understand." Callie brought her to a park, and was now claiming that they weren't here for the park. She didn't have a clue what was going on. A laugh spilled from her lips. "You're confusing me."
Opening the car door. "Come on." She pointed to the passenger door and motioned for Arizona to open it. "Just trust me."
That word sent shivers up Arizona's spine. For once in her life, she decided to just trust someone else and see where it got her. It's not like her life could get any worse, she was pretty much at rock bottom right now. Pulling the handle of the door, slipping out of the car, walking around to the other side to stand next to Callie. "What are we doing here?" It was 8 o'clock on a Sunday night, and they were standing in an extremely dark park, with nothing but trees and grass surrounding them.
Locking her car door, she started walking towards a footpath about a hundred meters away from them. "I like to come here when I've got a lot on my mind." They began walking and found themselves at the start of the path.
Arizona stopped walking, and looked at Callie. "We're walking down there?" Her voice was laced with fear. The path was completely blocked by trees, and there was hardly any light visible coming from it. It was basically pitch black.
Callie bit back a laugh. "It just takes a minute to walk through it, and then we'll be there."
"Where? Where will we be?"
Reaching forward and grabbing the blondes wrist, gently coaxing her forward. "I didn't peg you for a scared of the dark type." Her tone was playful.
Arizona rolled her eyes. "It's not the dark I'm scared of." Trying to defer her attention away from the fact that her hand kept brushing against Callie's. "Its the 'being killed by a stranger in the trees' that's really getting to me."
She knew Arizona was joking, but she could sense a hint of seriousness registering in her voice. "Relax. I promise nothing is gonna happen to us." She looked down when she felt Arizona wrap a firm hand around her wrist.
Feeling Callie look down at their hands. She was asking a question without actually asking it. "I'm scared." Arizona admitted. She didn't really know what she was scared of. But, she had a feeling that it wasn't really the trees. It was whatever rested beyond these trees that was causing the panic to set in. Arizona could sense that something was about to happen.
Whispering. "You have nothing to be scared of." Seeing Arizona like this, really bothered Callie. She wasn't even close with her own sister, Aria. But, she knew that losing her sibling would absolutely devastate her. She couldn't even begin to think of what the blonde was going through.
Callie pried her hand loose from Arizona's grasp, and gently intertwined their fingers. Arizona responded immediately, and curled her fingers around Callie's, holding on to her hand tightly. Neither said anything. They didn't have to. Arizona didn't know what it was, but something about Callie just put her completely at ease. They were just so comfortable around each other.
They stepped out at the end of the path, and Arizona stopped walking.
The sight before her was incredible. It was a perfect few of Seattle. The water was visible at the right of the trees, ferry boats sitting atop it. The Space Needle was visible in the middle, casting a beaming light over everything below it. A lone bench sat directly in the centre of the grass.
All the tension that was in her body disappeared in an instant. Mouth agape. "Wow." Walking forward, when Callie softly tugged on her hand.
"I know." She stopped them short of the bench. Pausing, unsure what to do with her hand that was still clutching a smooth pale one. Before she got a chance to think, Arizona had sat down and pulled Callie down with her, keeping their hands joined.
They sat in silence next to each other. Their hands connected, and their knees resting against each others.
It was at least half an hour, before either of them made a sound. Callie was content just sitting with Arizona, knowing that if she wanted to talk then she would do it in her own time.
Tim was dead. After nine days, Arizona had finally accepted that her brother was gone.
And she had accepted something else as well. Something that she had been denying for a long time.
Letting out a shaky breath when the infamous tears started to roll down her face. Now that she had started crying, Arizona couldn't seem to stop. Looking down at their joined hands, when she felt Callie give her own a reassuring squeeze. She knew this is what she was scared of when Callie brought her here. It was accepting Tim dying that had struck fear into her at the start of that footpath. Subconsciously, she had an idea that this would happen.
Finally, after whatever amount of time, the crying stopped. Arizona shifted her body to face Callie, still refusing to let go of her hand. Their position reminded her of the night at Teddy's party. Both of them sitting far too close, holding hands. Although, this time, something was different.
Arizona broke the silence. "We moved around a lot when we were kids." Pausing, when Callie turned to face her. "My dad was in the Marines. So, we rarely stayed in a place for longer than six months."
Callie didn't expect those were the first words spoken since they sat down. Rubbing soothing circles on the hand she was holding. "You guys must have been close, then?" She didn't want to push Arizona, she knew that the blonde would say whatever she wanted to say eventually.
Nodding her head. "Yeah. We didn't bother trying to make new friends, because we knew that in a few months, we'd have to leave anyway."
Callie was shocked. She grew up in Miami where everyone was friends with everyone, and here was Arizona telling her that her brother was basically her only true friend as a kid. That fact had made the whole situation impossibly worse. Arizona had ultimately lost the only person that was ever really there for her. It broke Callie's heart even more. "How old was he?"
Arizona smiled. "Twenty-Eight. He used to always," her sentence was cut short when a laugh spilled out. "Every time we argued, he would always say that I had to apologize first because I had to learn to 'respect my elders'." She began to laugh at the memory of a ten year old Tim, screaming at her, saying that she needed to start respecting him.
A laugh made it's way out of her own mouth. "That's a fair point." Her heart started beating a fraction faster when she realized that Arizona was actually opening up to her. According to Addison, she never spoke about anything to anyone. Arizona was such a closed off person, and here she was; letting Callie in. "When did he join the army?"
Barely a micro second passed, before Arizona answered. "Eight years ago. It was all he ever wanted to do. I remember the day that he told me he was leaving." Her throat closed up when she thought about that day. She had been expecting it for months, but she hadn't been expecting the sickening feeling that came with it. It was the same feeling that appeared when she found out Tim had died. Arizona never wanted to feel like that again.
"What happened?" Callie asked. Her nerves were in pieces, she was scared that the questions were going to upset Arizona. And that was the last thing she wanted to do.
Sensing Callie's nervousness, she tightened the grip on her hand. "It's okay. You can ask me whatever you want." In the changing room, today, she had told Addison not to ask her anything. And now, she was telling Callie that she could ask her whatever she wanted. It was strange. Arizona couldn't imagine talking to anyone about this, other than Callie. Teddy was her best friend, and she barely shared anything with her. "He- He uh," she coughed slightly, "he sat me down, and told me that he was leaving in a month. And, before I could answer him, he told me that nothing was gonna happen to him and that I shouldn't worry." Those words had been replaying in her head for the past nine days.
"You should be really proud of him, Arizona." Callie admitted truthfully. She was in awe that Arizona was managing to tell her this without welling up.
Smiling gently. "Yeah. I am."
"Did he know that you were," she trailed off. Unsure of how to word the question, noticing Arizona biting back a laugh.
"Did he know that I was hard-core into chicks?" Unable to control the laughter bubbling from her lips, when Callie nodded sheepishly. "Yeah he knew. He made me promise him that I would marry a girl that was at least a nine or ten on the hotness scale." Only Tim would say something like that after she told him she was a lesbian. She loved that he didn't care about her sexuality.
Callie burst into laughter. "Wow. That's quite a promise to make." She found herself smiling when she noticed that Arizona had relaxed. "Nines and tens are pretty hard to come by."
Arizona shrugged. "You're an easy ten. I'll just marry you if I have to." A full smile found it's way on to her face, when Callie dropped her head and started laughing. That laugh did something to her insides. It was so sensual, yet husky at the same time.
"Did you guys look alike?" A chuckle escaped her lips when Arizona shot her a confused look. "I just have this image of a really good looking guy, with these perfect blue eyes and blonde hair."
"According to Tim, I looked like him and I should be always be eternally grateful for that fact." Arizona responded in amusement. "He always said that, 'chicks dig people with blonde hair and blue eyes'."
"Blondes are pretty hot." Callie stated, with a mock shrug of her shoulders.
Arizona bit her lip, and shook her head. "I prefer brunettes."
Looking up, an uncharacteristic blush formed on her cheeks. It increased when she saw Arizona grinning, dimples perfectly on show. The tears had completely disappeared from her eyes, and they were back to their usual shining blue. Her body froze at the next set of words that left the blondes mouth.
"You're kind of amazing, Calliope. Has anyone ever told you that?"
Letting out a ruffled laugh. "Uh, Thanks." Arizona really knew how to put the charm on when she needed it. "You're not so bad yourself." She could barely register anything, other than her heart beating loudly in her ears.
"Which actually leads me to my next question." Arizona quickly added. "What in the hell possessed you to date Erica Hahn?"
Callie let out a shaky laugh. She didn't expect that question. "She's not that bad." Noticing Arizona send her a look of disbelief. "Okay, she is that bad." Grimacing at the thought of being with Erica. It was a nightmare relationship.
"I just can't picture you guys together, at all." The blonde admitted truthfully, shaking her head at the thought of Callie and Erica together. "And, because I cried my heart out on your shoulder earlier, I feel like we're now comfortable enough with each other for me to tell you that." Arizona stated with a laugh.
Her eyebrows drew together. "Yeah, it's probably not the smartest decision I've ever made." She admitted ruefully. A shiver came over her, when a cold breeze blew directly into them.
Feeling Callie shiver. "Cold?"
"A little." Callie admitted. Growing up in Miami really didn't prepare you for when it was less than 25 degrees. She felt Arizona swing her legs up from the ground and lie them straight across her lap, sitting in even closer to her. It was rare for her to feel this comfortable with another person. And Callie found herself liking it, really liking it. A whispered voice came from the woman sitting next to her.
"Thank you, Callie." Arizona's voice was gentle. She turned her head to look at the Latina, who was in turn, looking directly back at her. People often said that blue eyes were the most attractive to possess, but Arizona disagreed. For the past few months, she had been completely entranced by Callie's chocolate brown eyes. They were stunning. They matched their owner perfectly.
Lifting their entwined hands and lying them across Arizona's lap. "For what?"
Those eyes stared deeply into her own. "For making this day bearable." Arizona admitted.
"You're welcome." Callie replied honestly. Her heart was soaring at the words. If sitting in the freezing cold was what it took to make Arizona feel even a fraction better, then they would sit in the cold for as long she needed. "You want to just sit here for a little while?"
Letting out a grateful sigh, "Yeah." Shifting herself in closer and laying her head down gently on Callie's shoulder. A smile crept on to her face when she felt Callie's free hand rest across her legs and began lightly stroking her knee. Arizona realized in that moment; Callie was the person Lexie was referring to.
Callie was her someone.
Again, I have to say thank you for all the awesome reviews. They're a real motivator for me, because this is my first ever FanFic and I'm still trying to find the ropes a little bit. So, it really means a lot when I read the great comments you guys have been giving me. Unfortunately, I won't be able to update for a whole week, because I'm going on holiday on Tuesday. I'm really sorry, but I promise there will be an update on Sunday when I get back. Have a great week.