'After every storm,
There is a rainbow of hope...
Here I am.'
Chapter 9: Hospitalization: October
(10/06/23)
"Leonard, have you realized we've got three weeks left, and we haven't got a name." Penny pointed out.
"It's actually two-weeks and four-days." I corrected her, placing the last stuffed animals in the shelf. "Not that I've been counting." I lied, after noticing that she was glaring at me.
"Never mind." She sighed.
I turned to face her and smiled. She smiled back before I looked around the almost completed nursery.
Penny hadn't wanted to do any of the same things we did when she was pregnant with Bentley, like having a 3D ultrasound or getting maternity pictures done again, but she did allow the nursery being decorated.
"No, if you want to have a name, then we'll get one." I smiled, before walking out of the room.
I came back in with a notepad and pencil in hand. I looked up at her before she scoffed.
"I didn't mean pick one now, I meant, let's start thinking about it." She mentioned as I felt like an idiot.
"Oh." I sighed.
2022:
I remained silent as me and Penny were both sitting on the couch. She had her knees up close to her chest, her head rested in the bend of her elbow.
"Do you want to do anything?" I questioned, before getting a blank stare from Penny.
"Not really." She confessed.
Hearing Penny's voice was my current medicine for my healing process. Unfortunately, it was hard to come across.
My brother mentioned that for the first few weeks to a month from a traumatic experience, things around the house would be quiet. Luckily, we weren't even a week out from the unexpected stillbirth, so only four more weeks filled with this awkward silence.
"You sure?" I asked, breaking the silence again.
"Leonard, how could you actually want to do anything?!" She asked, her voice in the verge of yelling.
She jumped off the couch and made a break for the stairs. I sat in silence again after I heard the bedroom door slam shut upstairs.
I placed my head in my hands, before feeling a tear against my cheek.
I unlocked my phone and saw my son's profile from back in April as my background.
I placed my phone back on the table, before throwing my glasses on to the couch, rubbing my eyes.
As Penny wasn't in the room, I didn't stop myself from crying. Whenever Penny was with me, it didn't feel right, crying in front of her.
(10/15/23)
"The name you pick out of this hat, will be the final one." I insisted, trying to get the name picking over with, as we had already been doing it for three hours, today alone.
"Okay." Penny smiled, before scurrying her hand through the hat.
She kept her hand in for a moment to long, as I stood impatiently.
"Oh, Come on!" I said, easing my voice slightly.
"Jeez, chill out, Leonard." She laughed, lifting the small folded paper out of the hat.
She quickly unfolded it and looked down at the name that was imprinted on the lined paper.
"Can we pull another?" She wondered.
"No, you said this one was final. We both loved all the names, so we left it to this."
"Okay, can you give me something that would persuade me to choose this name?" She questioned as I looked over at her.
"I need to know what it is first." I pointed out.
Penny laughed for a second before apologizing. "It's Raegan." She smiled.
"Okay.." I started, before having to think. "She's our Rae of sunshine." I smiled, playing with the nickname of the name and the normal word 'ray'.
"I hate you." She sighed, turning away.
"Do you not like the name?" I asked.
"Yes, I love it. It just needs to stick." She insisted.
(10/23/23. 11:30AM)
"That's a first." Doctor Perry smiled, starting up the ultrasound.
The baby was surprisingly in-shot. That was definitely the first time that had happened.
With Penny's due date now just a day away, we had been asked to come in at least twice a week.
"And that's not normal for this little girl either." He sighed, concentrating on the screen.
I had immediately noticed that her heartbeat was strong, and still going, but it wasn't as fast as it usually was.
"Is she okay?" I questioned, after freaking myself out the night before.
I read an article published by a doctor somewhere in Chicago about when you get closer to your due date, or the later the baby is, the higher the risk of a stillbirth.
"She's doing okay, but we might make this appointment a little longer, just to make sure." Howard smiled, as Penny almost crushed my hand.
The only thing reassuring me was her heartbeat. Everything was fine through the pregnancy, like it was with Bentley, but as the time came to have the baby, the heartbeat gets haywire.
(10/23/23. 14:25PM)
I saw the panic in Penny's eyes as I placed the hospital bag down by the door.
"Leonard, how long are we going to be here?" She asked, as I hadn't told her yet.
"They said we're not leaving until we have this baby." I sighed.
Penny exasperated loudly as I laughed at her. "That could be days, maybe even weeks!" She moaned.
"They won't keep her in there too long. Don't worry." I reassured.
Penny laughed before looking around the room.
"So, we're hospitalized until we have this baby?" She questioned.
"I guess so." I sighed, laying down on the hospital bed.
Penny laughed at me before vanishing into the bathroom, which thankfully came as an en-suite.
I immediately sat up as the door opened. The nurse looked at me as if I was crazy.
"My wife's in the bathroom." I quickly answered, kind of panicking to explain what was going on.
"Don't worry, that's not the weirdest thing I've seen a father do on one of those beds." She smiled, "Once, this insane guy helped his wife through the pain by pretending to be in labor himself." She laughed, obviously having a flashback.
I nodded slowly before sighing with relief as Penny reemerged from the bathroom door.
"Oh, hello." Penny answered slowly.
"Hello!" She greeted, turning around to Penny.
Penny shook her head over at me, mouthing a few words as the nurse had her head down, looking at the clipboard she had brought in with her. I shrugged my shoulders back in response.
"Let me introduce myself." She began.
I laughed under my breath for a second, before saying, "Please do."
"I'm Astell Jones. I understand that you have been sent here for a observation on your peanut, and I will be the one to help you through the entire process." She smiled, her voice sounding sweet and encouraging.
(10/24/23)
I was awoken early the next morning to the sound of the heart monitor for the baby.
I lifted my head quickly to notice that I had fallen asleep with my head on the edge of Penny's bed.
"Oh, crap." I whispered to myself, feeling guilty that I had fallen asleep on my duty that I had promised Penny.
I smiled over at Penny as she was still fast asleep on the bed, which wasn't that comfy, having rest my head on it for at least half-an-hour.
I sat up straight in the chair, before hearing my back click.
"Ow.." I mumbled, having the pain shoot right up my spine. "Why did I have to fall asleep like that?" I wondered, still keeping my voice to a low tone.
"Leonard?" Penny's voice came from down in the bed.
"No, Leonard's asleep." I panicked, answering with the first thing that came to my head.
"Leonard?" Penny asked again as I regretted saying the most stupid thing ever.
"Yes." I sighed, sitting back down at the chair.
"What are you doing awake?" She asked, looking up at me.
"I could ask you the same." I sneered, while it was obvious my brain was still asleep.
I barely noticed Penny glaring at me, due to the minimal light coming through from underneath the door.
"Go to sleep." She smiled, before placing her head back in the pillow.
I collapsed on to the chair, that I had made into the bed it transformed in to.
I listened intently to the heartbeat monitor, which was quietly beeping away in the corner of the room, closest to the door.
(10/25/23)
I hadn't slept the past two nights as the fear of the heartbeat stopping while I was asleep was holding me back.
Luckily, I had talked to the nurse about not running the heartbeat machine from certain hours, to at least give me a little sleep.
I was also already getting a little stir crazy, after being in the hospital for a few days, for quite literally nothing. Penny wasn't in labor, the baby doing just fine. I understood we weren't allowed to leave, but I really wanted to.
I returned into the room to be greeted by Astell, who had been popping in every once in a while.
"Good morning, Leonard." She smiled, with her cheerful voice.
"Good morning." I replied back, before handing Penny her beverage from the canteen.
I took a sip from my coffee as Astell spoke to Penny about the delivery process. I pretended to listen, when all I could think about was holding this baby in my arms.
"Have you two got a name ready?" She asked.
"No." I sighed. "Penny decided that she didn't like the name we had originally chosen, so we're still thinking."
"It's not that I didn't like it, it's because it didn't seem right. I wasn't sure that was her name." She defended.
"Don't worry, you've got plenty of time." Astell smiled, before gathering her clipboard from the bed and pen from the floor and leaving.
I smiled over at Penny, as I could tell she was agitated.
"I want her now." She sighed.
"I know you do. So do I." I grinned, "But she'll get here when she wants to."
"That could be ages. She took two months before she kicked for you." She mentioned.
I laughed over at her. "But, the doctors won't let it be that long." I reassured.
"It better not be." She muttered.
(10/27/23)
I was lying next to Penny on the bed as I helped her through another Braxton Hick.
She kept saying that she didn't need help, even though I could tell she was thankful for it.
Me an Penny were both going as crazy as each other, having been at the hospital for now four days, with no signs that we could be leaving anytime soon.
I was also starting to get anxious about Penny getting to late into the pregnancy. She was currently at three days overdue, and that article I had read was starting to get to me.
Astell rushed through the door, in hopes that something was happening. It wasn't the first time she had done that.
"Hey, Astell." I smiled, greeting her.
"How's Jay?" Penny asked, and caused her to blush.
"Oh, he's working with another woman. His hands working child-bearing magic." She gushed over him.
"Are you ever going to ask him out?" I wondered, after hearing about her crush on another nurse a few too-many times.
"Oh, I could never do that. You know me." She blushed.
I turned to Penny and mumbled, "A little too much."
Penny lifted her hand and swung it in front my face a few times, with no control of her wrist.
Astell looked down at the chart and smiled slightly. "Penny, how far apart are your contractions?" She asked.
Penny looked up at me, before staring at the clock.
"About two minutes, why?" She questioned, looking at Astell.
"Cause they're not Braxton Hicks. They're proper contractions." She confirmed, "You two are having a baby." She smiled.
Penny looked up at me as I blew a sigh of relief under my skin. It was finally here. And we were finally going to see our daughter.
(10/28/23. 09:56AM)
In the four nights we had been at the hospital, I had only slept for one. Not because I chose not to, because I couldn't find myself falling asleep.
"Leonard, what are you doing?" Penny asked, as I dancing around the room, and I admit that it was bad.
"I'm just trying to make this more fun for you." I laughed.
"It's not working." She sighed, trying to hide a smile.
"Ha! You're smiling." I pointed out.
She didn't say anything, she just looked over my shoulder. I quickly turned my head to see Astell staring at me.
"Happy there, Leonard?" She asked, as I was immediately embarrassed.
I slowly nodded, before placing my hands in my pockets and walking over to the bed.
Astell smiled and walked over to the chart on the other side of the bed.
"How long was she standing there?" I asked, leaning in and whispering it to Penny.
"About a minute-and-a-half." She whispered back with a smile on her face.
"That's not good." Astell sighed, lifting the small chart paper from by the machine.
Me and Penny both immediately stopped staring at each other and we looked straight over to her.
"What's going on?" I asked, trying to stop myself from panicking.
"For a day of labor, this isn't a large amount of contractions that we could say that it's doing anything." She sighed, before taking something down as a note. "If this is still like this by three this afternoon, we might have to start thinking of different ways of speeding this up."
"What's wrong with waiting for it?" I questioned.
"I'm not waiting." Penny said, raising her voice slightly.
"Not you, I wasn't asking you." I mentioned, looking at Penny before turning to Astell.
"Leonard, Penny is already four days overdue, which can't be fun for her. I don't want to freak you out, but it's not good for the baby either. I'm doing what's best for both Penny and this baby." She explained, before leaving the room.
(10/28/23. 16:15PM)
I blew a sigh of relief as Penny let go of the pressure she was placing on my hand.
Luckily, her contractions had gotten closer together, so they didn't have to do anything to speed up the delivery. I was thankful about that, and Penny was too, only when she wasn't having a contraction.
"Thank you for leaving marks on my hand." I smiled, hoping she wouldn't understand the sarcasm.
"Thank you for getting me pregnant." She answered back.
"Was that sarcasm?" I questioned.
"No, it was literal. This part isn't as fun, but I can't wait to have her in our arms." She smiled. "I also can't wait to see you cry." She laughed.
"I'm not going to cry." I defended myself.
Penny snorted loudly as I looked over at her. "Yes you are." She laughed.
"Okay, I might." I sighed.
I pulled her towards my chest and kissed her on her forehead.
"I love you, Penny." I said, with a small smile.
"I love you too, Hofstadter." She laughed.
(10/29/23)
"Hey, Leonard." A familiar voice caused me to turn.
"Oh, hey, Frank." I greeted the guy I had ran into a few times. "How's Miranda?" I asked.
"She's doing okay. We are both really tired though. How's Penny?"
"Getting there. Slowly." I sighed, before taking a sip of my second coffee of the day.
"Wish her luck from me." He smiled before leaving.
I leant against the wall for a moment, being thankful for Penny. I smiled behind the coffee cup as a realized that my daughter could be born within the next couple of hours.
"Are you, Leonard Hofstadter?" A doctor called, peering his head around the corner.
"Yes." I answered back.
"You're wife is summoning you." He sighed.
Without thinking about the different ways on why Penny would want me, my mind decided to go with the worst one.
I had been by Penny's side through the death and the stillbirth of our son. And now my mind was saying that it had happened again.
I burst through the door, as Penny looked at me like I was stupid.
"What's your rush?" She questioned.
"You... You wanted me." I said, catching my breath.
"You were gone more than an hour, I was wondering where you were." She explained.
"An hour?!" I asked, trying to think if it was really that long.
Penny nodded her head. I looked away for a second.
"It couldn't have been that long." I sighed, not remembering how long I really was.
"Uh.." Penny began before stopping suddenly. "Oh, Oh."
"What?" I asked, rushing over to her.
"I think... I think, my water just broke."
I looked up at her, with a giant grin on my face.
"Really?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
I pulled Penny into my chest, wrapping my arms around her back. I kissed her on her cheeks over at over again, alternating between the two.
"We're going to have a baby." I smiled, gazing into her eyes.
"Yeah." She said, with a huge grin on her face, as if it was the only thing that mattered.
Our lips touched for a moment. When I pulled away, I could see Penny's eyes glistening.
"You're gunna make me start now." I smirked, before rubbing my eye clear from any tears.
(10/30/23)
"Leonard, this baby marks the death of someone else. That person will be you!" Penny gritted.
"Way to get a head start." I mentioned, feeling the pressure on my hand.
Penny angrily looked over at me as I could tell this wasn't the time to be snarky. She swung her head back and released my hand.
"Come on, Penny. A few more pushes and you'll have your baby." Astell smiled, trying to persuade her.
"No, I can't. I can't." Penny panted, as I could tell she was already exhausted.
"Can't isn't a word in this delivery room! I don't allow it!" Astell yelled.
I raised my eyebrows at her, as that was the first time I had seen Astell not in her nice coating.
"Well, I'm using it!" Penny shouted back.
"Penny," I began, getting her attention. "Your dad always believed that you could do something as amazing as have a baby. Unfortunately he can't be here to see that. But you can still prove that he was right, please... do it for your dad." I smiled, allowing her to grab my hand again.
Penny nodded, getting Astell interested.
"Okay, another push."
I could feel Penny's force as she placed pressure again. I allowed the pain through as all I could think about was this baby. I hadn't even noticed the date yet.
Astell continued to persuade Penny through the next few pushes, as I remained the pain relief.
"One final push, Penny. One more big one." Astell lead on.
Penny did exactly what she was told, and almost made me squeal with the amount of pressure and squeezing she placed on one hand.
She relaxed and released my hand from a death grip. She swung her head back as I could feel pulsating in my fingers.
"I'm so proud of you. Your dad would be too." I smiled, stopping myself from tearing up.
The high-pitched cry echoed through the room as I looked over at Astell wrapping our daughter.
Penny quickly caught her breath before Astell handed her into my arms.
"Oh, my God." I smiled, before sniffing loudly. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."
Everything about her was perfect. Her little button-nose. Her tiny tuffs of brown hair. Her dark green eyes, that couldn't yet see anything.
I showed her off to Penny, who was still sweating. She immediately began crying as she gushed over the baby.
"Leonard, she's perfect." She smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek.
"She really is." I gushed, my voice choking up.
"I'll leave you three alone." Astell mentioned, before leaving.
Penny placed her arms out, and I transferred our daughter into her warm embrace.
"Sweetie, she's gorgeous." She cooed.
We both watched as she attempted to suck her thumb. She mindlessly looked around the room, with her eyes wide open.
"We forgot to pick a name." Penny pointed out.
"How about Riley?" I asked, looking down at the newborn.
"Riley... I like it." She smiled, glancing down at her too. "Yeah, Riley. That's her name." She smiled. "Where did you get that?"
"You said you wanted a name with an R, so I looked it up, and I really liked it."
"Hi, Riley." Penny smiled whilst tearing up.
The newborn looked up as we called her name.
"She likes it too." I beamed. "Welcome to the world, Riley." I added, as she wrapped her whole fist around my tip of my finger.
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