Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo Tite
Warnings: PWP, OOC, AU, mild swearing.
A/N: Ever wonder why all the captains' haoris are white? Also, I am going by the anime canon since I have not read the manga. Short chapter this time. Big big big thank you for all your reviews and favs and follows. You all rock!
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1st Division Captain Commander Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto
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"How could you lose your Captains' Haori!" Captain Commander Yamamoto thunders at the three unrepentant Captains. "These are the symbols of your rank."
Kuchiki Byakuya, that impudent bastard, studies his fingernails. "Tell me how much it costs so I can replace this cheap haori."
Yamamoto feels a tic starting in his temple. "It is not CHEAP! And I don't care about the price, it is the principle of the thing. What do you think a Captain's Haori is?" He yells.
"Cheap." Byakuya repeats, looking bored.
"Dead Weight." Kenpachi growls.
"Fashion statements!" Kyoraku crows.
Yamamoto's furious yells can be heard from the gates of the Seritei. Outside, the soldiers watch in awe as blasts of fire emanate from the Captain Commander's balcony.
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The knock on his door has the Captain Commander Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto turning to face the door from his balcony railing. "Yes?"
"My lord Captain, the messenger is here to retrieve the package." Sasakibe opens the door with a bow.
"I see." The elder crosses the room to his desk, opening the drawer to produce a cloth-wrapped bundle.
He unfolds it quickly, revealing a thick bundle of cut-off hair from his beard, then refolds it. "Here, take this to the weavers."
"Thank you, my lord captain." The accompanying messenger accepts the bundle with both hands and exits the room.
"Three Captains being reinstated this time, eh?" Yamamoto muses.
Sasakibe pours some tea for the elder. "Yes, my lord. I suppose it is good to have the previous captains Hirako, Otoribashi and Muguruma. Saves us a lot of time and paperwork."
Yamamoto glares at him from behind a scarred eye. "Good for whom?" He scoffs, sipping the scalding liquid. "All these captains think that their fireproof, water-resistant, wear-proof haoris grow on trees. Pfft. Cheap my butt. I don't see them providing hair to be woven into haoris. And three haoris at the same time. Hmph."
Sasakibe wipes the other teacup on the tray, raising an eyebrow. "My lord captain, you know we need your hair specifically because of the force of your reiatsu. It is literally in the cells of each strand of your hair."
"I hope those ungrateful bastards know how hard it is to pluck enough beard hairs for a haori, much less three." Yamamoto grumbles.
"Well, we would use the hair from your head except that -" Sasakibe ducks the teacup that is hurled at his head, catches it smoothly and places it on the tray. "Will there be anything else, my lord Captain?"
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A/N: Hair is strong. A single strand could hold 100g (3oz) in weight: the combined hair of a whole head could support 12 tonnes, or the weight of two elephants. Weight for weight, it is not as strong as steel: more like aluminium, or reinforced glass fibres or Kevlar, which is used to make bulletproof vests. (from: the Guardian Article about the Natural History Museum of London)