Acceptance

"You need to consider that maturity is not something you can get overnight. And I'd say that such a situation is appropriate, given that it's more like a paradigm shift that changes your outlook on life and the world in general. When you can look at a conflict and see both sides of the argument, you have taken your first step towards maturity. When you can see a person with many problems as a fellow human being and not as a waste of space, you might have taken your next steps towards maturity. But for me personally, I believe that maturity is only truly achieved when a person accepts their own self for who they are, and from there, progresses to accept others as they are also. This is simply because it can be extremely difficult to accept life as it is, to a point where some people even die before acceptance comes to be part of them. Forgiveness, understanding... the two of them and so many other admirable qualities are all rooted in acceptance and maturity. So that's why I always say that acceptance usually equates to maturity; other factors may also come into the equation, but none have as big a role as the paradigm shift necessary for gaining acceptance.

- Quoted from Mr. Magus Merlin, chief guidance counselor at Twilight Town High School, spoken to the Senior classes of the year 2010 during a motivational speech.

xxx

"Who's your daddy, huh?"

"How come you don't have no daddy?"

She had grown up as an only child in a single-parent home, and those two questions were part and parcel of her early childhood. Money had been tight for the most part, so she had gotten used to wearing secondhand clothes from garage sales and warehouse stock clearances. The fact that she had to wear clothes made for males didn't irk her in the least; it was just part of growing up for her. But at times, she did wonder why her father was never around for her. At first, she used to draw little cartoons of her father, mother, and self being together. But when her mother found out and veritably let her temper explode like the legendary Mount Gulug, she stopped drawing altogether. Several times, she had asked her mother about the whereabouts of her father. Each and every time, the answer had been the same.

"Useless son of a bitch is dead."

As a little girl, she had accepted her mother's answer as the gospel truth, and shed her fair share of tears over her father's death. But as she grew older, she began to question her mother's answers to that one question. So one day, when her mother had left for work, she had decided to do some digging about for the truth. She found one of her old drawings, the pastel colors smeared and smudged with several years' worth of silent tears, and a faded photograph of her mother and a man with spiky blond hair. The man's face had been blackened out with a marker, so the only clue she had left as to the identity of her father was that he apparently had blond hair. She was assuming, of course, that he was her father; but then again, why else would her mother have obscured his face?

Of course, when her mother came home, she found out; Turks knew everything that happened around them, and had ways of finding out if anything was amiss. The resulting stare-down with her mother had been tense, and she was prepared to leave the house for several nights if worse came to worse. But her mother had been surprisingly quiet after that, only leaving her a note on her dresser with an address written on it.

Which is how Larxene found herself outside the bar called Tifa's Seventh Heaven.

xxx

"Bar's closed," Tifa called out, as the door opened. The sign outside the door clearly stated the establishment's business hours, but sometimes, those drunkards couldn't read after getting sufficiently inebriated, "Come back at about six-"

"I'm not here to drink," came an all-too-familiar voice, "I just want to meet the man with the spiky blond hair."

Tifa froze in the middle of wiping the bar's counter-top. Ever so slowly, she turned to take a look at the person who had addressed her. One look at the young woman standing not five feet away from her confirmed her worst fears. There was no mistaking that blond hair, and those icy blue eyes. The determined look on the young woman's face matched that which she often saw on her boyfriend's face.

"Larxene?" Tifa called, stepping back cautiously, "Why do you want to see Cloud?"

"Cloud? That's his name?" Larxene asked in reply, cocking her head to one side and narrowing her eyes, "Lets just say that he and I have some issues to discuss."

"What did he do?"

"He's not in now, right? Where is he?"

"I... I think he's running a delivery. He might be back by lunch."

"So I'll wait outside."

"Larxene, I-"

"Look, lady!" snapped the blond teenager, "This Cloud of yours is my father, as far as I know. And I want to know just why he left me and my mother alone for the past seventeen years."

With that, Larxene exited the bar, slamming the door behind her, leaving behind a shell-shocked Tifa behind the counter. Hearing the sudden loud noise, Irvine came out of the stockroom, holding a broom in his hands. Not seeing anyone in the bar besides Tifa, he turned to her for an explanation.

"Whut in thunderation was goin' on 'ere?"

"None of your goddamned business," snapped Tifa, turning away from him and rinsing her cleaning rag, "Get done with that stock check, and I'll lock this place up.

"Someone's got a bug up their ass," laughed the cowboy, as he went back into the stockroom.

He never saw the lone tear that made its way down Tifa's cheek as she let the dirty rag fall out of her hands and into the sink.

xxx

It was about three in the afternoon when Cloud arrived back at Tifa's bar.

He parked his motorbike at its usual spot in an alley next to the bar, and started to make his way towards Seventh Heaven's side entrance. He had just gotten his hand on the doorknob when a cold voice made itself heard from behind him.

A voice he had heard several times, and which he had never wanted to hear at such a close distance.

"Are you Cloud?"

Turning around, he looked into a pair of eyes that might as well have been his own. Letting out a weary sigh, he spoke.

"Yes. And you must be Larxene?"

"Damn straight I am," replied the blond girl fiercely, "We have a lot to talk about. Hell, I'll make it simpler if you want - where the FUCK were you all this while?"

"I-"

"Mom was never a quitter. She still isn't. Heck, she's a fucking Turk. So some logical thinking puts you in the guilty spot, eh?"

"Elena and I would have never worked out as a couple," Cloud said evenly, trying to not lose his cool, "What happened-"

"You could work that shit well enough to put a bun in her oven-"

"It was not my intention to do so!" retorted Cloud, his eyes widening as he realized what he had just said.

"So I'm an accident, then. Boo-fucking-hoo. But where were you when mom was struggling to raise me? Where were you when she was forced to re-enlist in the ShinRa military cause money was so goddamned tight?"

Cloud snapped, "Look, Elena wouldn't accept any help from me! When you were born, I offered to help, but she didn't exactly welcome the cash. Hell, she BURNED the money with a Zippo lighter!"

"How convenient for you," sneered Larxene, "Didn't it occur to you that she might not have been thinking straight back then?"

"You're just trying to put the blame on me!"

"Maybe. And maybe not. Do you know that she used to tell me that you were dead?"

"I'm not surprised."

"Well, given what I've just heard from you, you might as well be!" shouted Larxene, as she turned away from Cloud and furiously marched off. The blond ex-SOLDIER merely looked on as his daughter walked away from him, proving that her temper was definitely something she had gotten from her mother.

For the briefest of moments, there was a hint of tears in his eyes. But only for that short second in time.

xxx

Elena stepped into her home wearily, taking off her blue suit and throwing it onto the coat hanger near the door. Reaching into the pocket of her blue slacks, she took out a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. Within five seconds, she lazily drew in her first drag of the night. Looking around, she saw that the all of the lights in the living room were off. Deciding that Larxene must have gone out gallivanting or some good shit like that, she went into the kitchen, and switched the light on. The aged bulb flickered momentarily before coming to life, lighting up the tiny, booby-trapped kitchen with a dim, yellowish light. A cockroach or two scurried out of the way as she walked up to the stove.

"Interesting man, that Cloud," came her daughter's voice suddenly from somewhere behind her.

Elena froze, but only for the tiniest fractions of a second. To any other person, the slip-up would have been unnoticeable, but Larxene was truly her mother's daughter when it came to having sharp perception, "I don't want to talk about that now, Larxene."

"Why, mom?" Larxene asked, her voice hard, "WHY?"

Elena slowly took another drag from her cigarette, before turning to face her daughter. In the dim light of the kitchen, she observed that Larxene did indeed look much like Cloud; the man's genes had outdone themselves in the physical department, they had. Her own contribution to the young lady standing before her was a fiery temper, sharp tongue as well as senses, and a quick-acting mind.

"Why?" Elena echoed, her voice still surprisingly smooth, "Well, his girlfriend had just died in an accident at the old Gongaga Mako Reactor. I had just broken up with Reno. We were both drunk in the same pub. Does that add up simply enough for you?"

"You are no better than he was," her daughter replied venomously, "By the sounds of it, I was nothing more than an accident. A motherfucking accident!"

"You watch your mouth, young lady!" barked Elena, putting out her cigarette on a nearby plate, "I'll admit, neither of us planned it. But I kept you!"

"FOR WHAT?" screeched Larxene, making Elena wince, "Why did you keep me? So that you could lie to me later about my father? So that we could both suffer a little together?"

"It was nothing of the sort!" Elena snapped, "You think I would abort my own child?"

"Why not? You were an ex-SOLDIER already, god knows you'd have offed several people at one point or another-"

"We are not having this discussion!" said Elena through gritted teeth, slamming a fist down on her kitchen counter, "I don't know why I gave you Cloud's address, and whatever possessed me to do so can fucking burn in HELL! Get out. Now."

"Fine!"

With that, Larxene left the house, slamming the door behind her. Elena stood silently in the kitchen for a few minutes, staring at the front door blankly.

"Larxene..." she whispered, even as a sob made its way out of her, cracking the silence like glass.

xxx

Metronome Street was almost completely darkened, since most of the streetlights along its hundred-meter length had been shot out by several generations of schoolchildren with slingshots. Well, admittedly the Twilight Town City Council had also been somewhat stingy with regards to funding for maintenance of the pre-war street. But alas, some things just couldn't be fitted into the budget, especially since the city council members were rumored to be fond of helping themselves to some munny from the town's coffers every now and then. Diz was just about to close the shutters to his little shop when the sound of pattering feet reached his ears. Taking a quick glance at his surroundings, he saw nothing, but the sounds continued to echo along Metronome Street.

"Someone there?" he called out, as he clicked his shop's padlock into its locked position and reached for the collapsible impact baton in his windbreaker's pocket - Miss Scarlet who sold guns somewhere down the road might have given him a pistol for Christmas last year, but he was too terrible a marksman to use it well.

"Diz, it's me," came a familiar voice, as the mysterious somebody approached him from the river's end of Metronome Street.

The voice didn't sound right, but... "Larxene? Is that you?"

"Yups," came the reply, even as Larxene stepped into the small halo of light in front of his shop's door, "Dang, I'm too late..."

"If you want a cup of coffee, my shop is closed for tonight. But if you want some advice, there's a McMoogle's around the corner that is open round the clock."

There was a brief pause, "You mean it?"

"Why not?"

"Lets go, then."

xxx

Ten minutes later found Larxene and Diz seated at a small table for two at the Metronome Street McMoogle's outlet. The lone cashier on duty for the night shift had given them a cursory glance as they entered the outlet, and had hollered into the kitchen for two black coffees. When Larxene had questioned Diz about the free drinks, he had primly stated that he and Yen Sid had a gentleman's agreement with regard to drinking in each others' establishments.

"So Larxene," Diz asked casually, "What is the issue at hand?"

"It's mom. And Cloud," Larxene sniffed, "Old news to you?"

"I heard rumors, but those two are good at keeping their lips sealed."

"Just how much of it do you know?"

"Enough to suspect that ol' chocobo-top is your father? Well, that and the fact that he used to linger suspiciously around your preschool for a while."

"It's enough, then."

An awkward silence settled over the table. Larxene seemed to be trying to make her coffee evaporate by using her nonexistent super heat-ray vision, while Diz digested the news he had just received. Minute plumes of steam curled up from their coffee cups, practically the only sign of movements at the quiet table. Behind the counter, the cashier started to nod off, the white-faced clock hanging above his head showing that it was somewhere close to eleven p.m.

"The only question I have, Larxene," Diz said quietly, "Is why you have decided to open this old wound up once more."

Larxene sipped her scalding hot coffee, seemingly oblivious to the black liquid's temperature, "Cloud was never there."

"Do elaborate..."

"He was not there when mom was trying to juggle two jobs at once to put me through preschool. He was never there when mom had to dig out her old SOLDIER uniform and go back to ShinRa. He didn't see her swallow her pride and become Reno's subordinate."

"Well, there was that one time when he tried to give Elena some cash, but she-"

"But he WASN'T THERE!" Larxene cried, her voice breaking as she hit the tabletop with a clenched fist, "He could have called, or... or something!"

"Larxene," Diz calmly interrupted, "Cloud tried. He did, really. After a while, people began to wonder why he was so interested in you, and eventually the rumors started."

Faded memories of a blond-ish stranger watching her through the preschool's fence surfaced, but only for a moment, "So what? Rumors are not-"

"Elena is a cautious woman," Diz said firmly, "And if there's one thing she will not do, it's putting those she cares about in possibly dangerous situations."

"What does that have-"

"She didn't allow Cloud to contact you, Larxene. She thought you were too young to understand why he was always trying to talk to you and give you things."

Larxene almost said something, but no response came out of her open mouth. Silence settled over the table once again, as she shut her eyes and whispered her next question to the old proprietor seated across the table from her.

"But why not?"

Diz looked thoughtful, "You were born not long after Aerith's death."

"Aerith?" the name sounded vaguely familiar, "Who's that?"

"She was Cloud's girlfriend quite a while back. After she died in an incident at the Gongaga Mako reactor, he-"

"- got drunk and screwed my mom, who was also drunk and in the same pub at the time. Yups, I know this part."

"But that's not the end of it, Larxene," Diz said softly, "The difference between them is that Cloud stayed drunk after that and Elena didn't. He was discharged from SOLDIER due to his alcoholism, and your mother voluntarily left SOLDIER to try and raise you after you were born. So you can't put all the blame on Elena for wanting to keep Cloud away from you."

Larxene wearily asked, "But for seventeen years? That's a long time."

Diz shrugged, "Cloud only got over his alcohol addiction within the last six years or so. He was hooked on liquor for almost an entire decade, Larxene."

"All this while I wanted a father..." Larxene's voice trailed-off, "And he was a deadbeat."

"People have their flaws, child. If you had seen how in love Cloud and Aerith were back in the day... Heck, if you had seen your mother and Cloud shouting to kingdom come right in the middle of Metronome Street... Maybe you would understand that it was not easy on either of them."

Larxene remained silent, her gaze focused on a grease stain at a corner of their table.

"For Elena, it was fear that you would get hurt that made her keep you close to home and away from him. For Cloud, it was probably a mixture of guilt and maybe some paternal instincts that kept him coming back to try and get in touch with you for at least those seven years after you were born."

xxx

Later on in the future, Diz would wonder if his eyesight had been awry that night when recalling the talk. After all, he didn't have his glasses on at the time. However, he could never really bring himself to completely dismiss the sight of Larxene blinking back tears as being caused by his faulty vision.

xxx

Cloud had always been quite a night-owl. So when someone walked past Tifa's bar at close to two in the morning, he heard the person's footsteps stopping just under his bedroom window. There came a sound of something being ripped, followed by a thump or two as if the person was softly knocking the bar's thick wooden door. Immediately after that, the person had walked off, and silence had returned to Metronome Street.

Of course, he had gone down shortly after to see what had been done to the bar's front door - hopefully not more vandalism. What he had found was an envelope pasted to the door, and addressed 'To Dad'.

When Tifa found him asleep at a bar table the next morning, with the tear-stained letter crumpled in his hands, she didn't need to read it to know who the sender was.

Dad,

I am sorry for what I said to you today.

It was not easy growing up without a father. But it was probably just as difficult to spend sixteen years without being able to speak to your daughter.

Someone I can trust told me that you tried to meet me. I can't remember much of my childhood, but I do remember a yellow-haired stranger who was always watching me through the preschool fence. Mom can be a stubborn woman, but... I guess even Aerith would have been proud of you for how long you spent trying to make contact.

I can't bring myself to blame you for everything anymore. But please understand that somehow, I just can't let it all go.

Your Daughter,

Larxene

xxx

Elena woke up for work, as she had done for the last god-knew-how-many-goddamned years of her life. It had all become a sort of monotonous cycle for her - wake up, wash up, dress for work, get to Midgar, grab a bite at the ShinRa building, file reports, possibly bust in the kneecaps of a few delinquents and criminals, eat dinner, get home, and go to sleep. Rinse, repeat, and set to automatic. Easy-peasy, lemon squeezy. She had grown so accustomed to her daily cycle that she even woke up two minutes before her alarm clock rang every morning.

Needless to say, it was somewhat surprising for her to see an envelope taped to her dresser mirror the morning after her confrontation of sorts with Larxene. She had walked up to the dresser, and taken the envelope to have a closer look at it. The words 'To Mom' were scrawled neatly on the front in her daughter's rather masculine hand, and there were several small spots on the paper that looked almost like they had been left by tears.

Five minutes later, Elena was sitting on the edge of her bed, crying her eyes out.

Mum,

I'm sorry for shouting at you in the kitchen just now. But I just wanted to know why. Why you let me grow up without a father, and why you never let me know the truth about him.

I heard the whole story from someone whose word can be trusted. Right now, I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

You were afraid, and I guess I can accept that. But I still feel like I was kept from getting to know my own father by you. Cloud did try to make amends, even when he was bedding the bottle.

So what I think I'm saying is that... I forgive you for what you did. But I don't think I could forget it, even if I tried my hardest to.

Your Daughter,

Larxene