More story! YAY Hopefully the last update was free of errors and what not! Anyhow thanks for the love everyone and the hits are definitely welcome! So I hope you all enjoy...
PS The following chapter will have some mature themes and I am possibly thinking about upping the rating from "T" to 'M' next chapter... anyhow thanks for reading!
Cloud PV
I had waited outside the inn all night. I knew we had a single day left and I needed to erase the tension between myself and Claire, but I refused to be the one to apologize... She was the one who began acting strange and she overreacted.
I did nothing but help her and she just had to be spiteful... I knew I should be the bigger adult and brush her comments aside, but what if I was starting to develop actual deep feelings towards her?
It would explain why she can make me so angry when I should just ignore her. She was beautiful, there I admitted it... There was something about Claire that was much different from Tifa... Tifa was gentle and I felt the need to protect her... I wanted to protect her... but with Claire, I want to prove I can help her... its a completely different feeling when I'm around her and it drives me insane!
Whatever emotions I had, they were getting in the way of our mission and it is frustrating! I never wanted to be attracted to her, but its as if she does these things that are so out of character for her when she's around me that get me confused.
It was after I had joined her as a Saint and she fainted, I was the one who carried her back to the village. At that time, I was upset and angry with her for rushing in against Astaroth, but as I held her she began nuzzling my neck with her nose and clutching at my chest with her hand... I would be lying if I said I didn't think she was absolutely stunning at the time.
In that moment, she wasn't the hard ass pig-headed warrior that blatantly rushed in without a plan. She unconsciously showed so much of her vulnerability and something inside me gravitated towards it. This woman, not only refused to abandon her promise to Hope, but denied Jenova even after given the offer of saving her sister. She placed her life in danger and maybe even that of her sister's... for what reason exactly... I didn't know... maybe it was how only Serah would be saved like she had told me... but I would have taken the offer, as selfish as it was... but now I owed my life to her.
So of course I wanted to impress her to show that her choice wasn't the wrong one. I never thought I'd begin to care about her... the words I exchanged with Noel really shocked me. Realizing that I had vowed to sacrifice myself for Tifa to achieve her goals and that I actually did sacrifice myself and Tifa actually achieved her goals made me think. I had been bitter about what I had promised to do and that disgusted me more than anything else. I shouldn't be alive but I was given another chance.
In the several weeks I've spent with Claire, I've mulled over the words Fang said to me weeks ago and realized that if I wasn't a Saint, I'd probably have a crush on her... so being around her constantly didn't help. She wasn't helping with what she had been doing earlier yesterday evening. Her dry humping was intense... she wasn't hard on the eyes and if I were any other man, I'm sure her moaning wouldn't have just ended with the healing spell...
"WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING!?" I shouted out loud as I leaned against the inn and slid to the ground banging my head back against the wall as I sat down. I shook the perverse thoughts out of my head before hearing the door open.
"Yo, Spikey!" I sighed at the voice of Yuffie.
"Yuffie," I addressed.
"Its too early in the morning to be yelling like a madman... Claire barely allowed me into the room last night... I heard that you two had a moment." She grinned as I rolled my eyes and stood up.
"Nothing happened... or at least... what did she tell you?" I demanded as Yuffie shrugged.
"Nothing..." Yuffie chuckled.
"Yuffie..." I began
"Do you like her?" She asked immediately. I thought about denying it but I rolled my eyes and nodded once. "YOU DO!" Yuffied yelled as I quickly covered her big mouth and frowned.
"Yes, okay... now shut it!" I snapped as Yuffie just looks at me in shock.
"What happened yesterday!? Did you confess and Claire got all nervous and stormed off?" She asked as I shook my head, "Wait did you hurt her and then get all upset and run off?" She asked
"No." I snapped as Yuffie crossed her arms and looked at me. "What?"
"I want to know what happened! She was so upset yesterday and went to bed angry... a woman should never go to sleep mad." Yuffie chided as I rolled my eyes. "Tell me what happened!" She gawked as I sighed and explained everything.
Yuffie stared at me for a moment and then fell on her butt laughing. "It isn't funny." I snap while she shakes her head still giggling.
"I'm not...ha...hahahah...haaa... laughing...ah ah, ha ha ha... ha, at you..." She cried with tears in her eyes.
"Maybe I'll tell Claire you're making fun of her." I snapped as Yuffie instantly stopped laughing and spoke up.
"Wait!" She begged and took a deep breath and spoke. "You should go talk to her, then..." She hinted as I frowned.
"What?" I asked as Yuffie pushed me towards the inn's entrance.
"Go talk to her! Let love guide you!" She announced jokingly. I frowned and shook my head. "At least clear the air... you two have to be on the same page if what Noel and Hope told me is true... that you're fighting Titan... the fal'Cie Titan..." She glared.
"We'll handle it." I snap as Yuffie rolls her eyes.
"Not if this misunderstanding is in the way... tell Claire you've got the hots for her now and that you're over Tifa..." She grinned as I frowned.
"I doubt that would be a good idea... I don't want anything from her. I don't want to distract her or the others." I remind
"No, I am saying that if you don't at least tell her you will never be able to get past this." She reminded.
"Yuffie, I don't have anything to get past. Besides I've tried explaining this to her before."
"Cloud, no! Go talk to her and get this sorted out... trust me!"
"What would you know?"
"Look, think of it this way, you want to help Claire right?"
"Of course I want to help Claire... I am her Saint and..."
"And you care about her right?"
"Yes, Yuffie I do want to help her and I do care about her."
"Okay, so go tell her and maybe you two will be able to bond... spiritually. Plus I doubt you've ever actually told her about everything you're feeling when you two would and probably should have the privacy to do so... something tells me Claire would hate it if she knew you were talking to me about this or that if Noel or Hope could walk in on your conversation. Go to her room and speak with her... trust me none of us dare enter without knocking... for your sake she should still be asleep... at least after just waking up she should be a bit more level headed." She grinned. I mulled her words over and nodded
"Fine..." I groaned before walking into the inn.
I made my way up to Claire's room before taking a moment to compose myself. This was going to be quite embarrassing and possibly painful... physically painful.
I opened her door cautiously only to hear a small re-occuring snore obviously coming from Claire. I stepped inside and looked out the window as the sun was now high enough in the sky to chase away the last remnants of the night and still Claire was out.
I approached the bed slowly and that's when I noticed her twitching and groaning in her sleep. I thought to wake her but stopped as I noticed her lips pursed and a slight frown on her face. She was probably having a nightmare and would wake up any moment... I had to get out of here.
If she woke up pissed and then I was standing over her in her sleep... she'd probably be furious and I didn't want to be on the receiving end of her crap today. I just wanted to talk like two adults, but I knew with the situation unfolding as it was, that would be impossible.
I turned immediately and headed for the door, "Cloud..." I heard my named called and I cringed. Here it goes... the explosion.
I waited a few more seconds and still nothing before I turned to see she was still lying down. I sighed in relief and decided to just wake her up. I opened her door and then closed it loudly, causing her to sit up in a panic.
She looked around the room hastily taking deep breaths before her eyes settled on me. She seemed to stare in shock for a few seconds before looking around and then slamming her eyes closed while shaking her head.
"Claire?" I began as she snapped her eyes open to focus on me. In that moment, I noticed how her hair seemed wild and un-kept and the normal frown she wore during the day was a lot less intense. Staring at her now as the sun's rays brushed her face just barely and how unsure her eyes looked at me, made me wonder was this the same woman who had insulted me yesterday? I took a step from the door allowing myself to step into the light pouring from the one window in the small room.
At my motion she broke eye contact as her eyes trailed down my body with a look I couldn't gauge... it was one, she'd never had before. "Why are you here?" She asked softly, again shocking me. She didn't seem angry that I had waken her up or that I was in her room without her permission.
"I came to..." I began as the words seemed a bit foolish now, was I supposed to just wake her and tell her that I had developed some kind of emotion for her and then what? Where would I go from there? It seemed silly, but Yuffie's overzealous enthusiasm had allowed my mind to conjure up some reality where me just saying those words would be enough. I looked down and realized I had no choice but to say the one thing that I felt she should say to me. "I want to apologize for yesterday." I begin as Claire's eyes begin to take the hard, serious tone I recognize.
She said nothing but just glared at me until she shook her head. "No... I should be the one to apologize... you did nothing wrong... you did as I asked and I was the one who unconsciously acted in that manner... I had no right to blow up at you... I was embarrassed." She added, "I'm not used to dealing with men and courtship... well at least men who aren't blatantly requesting I sleep with them. You being honest about what you feel and how my actions cause you to react, its something I don't know how to handle... I'd almost would have preferred you made a perverse remark about... about my... reaction to your healing technique... it would have been a something I was familiar with handling." She explained as I shook my head. "Look Cloud, you can't tell me that I turn you on and then add compliments like saying I'm attractive and then not adding some kind of perverse statement." She states as I scoff.
"I'm not going to disrespect you like that." I interrupt as Claire frowns.
"What do you want from me then?" She demanded as her fists clinched the sheets. I sighed and pointed to the edge of her bed and she looked at the spot for a moment before looking over to me and nodding.
I came and sat down but I took notice of how she pulled her knees to her to keep as much distance between us as possible. "I need to explain everything to you... I told you what Fang said and of course it had my mind reeling... I've been talking to Noel and I came to an epiphany with his help. I hated Tifa for sacrificing me so she could gain power... I was so upset that she would throw away all that we had." I began and Claire interrupted.
"Cloud, look you have every right to hate her... trust me, to betray someone you love just for power and control... its unacceptable." She announced. I stopped her from continuing and she stopped.
"That's the thing... I signed up to be her Saint with the intent of doing everything I could to make sure she got what she wanted... or making sure her dream came true... I loved her so much that I would sacrifice myself for her and the thing is, I did, not by choice, but I had and her dreams had come true... It's made me realize that maybe she did love me... but that didn't mean she loved me the way I loved her. I've lived so long with anger that I couldn't see the obvious... Claire... I finally could let my hate and anger go and when I finally could, I realized that the respect I had for you was more than that. When you didn't hand me to Jenova, I had felt like I owed you my life... but now I realize I would give it for your dreams." I sighed and stood as Claire remained quiet as I continued, "I don't know when or how it happened but I will make sure you save Serah and Hope's mother... I will not let Jenova hurt you. I truly want you to be happy. I know you're probably going to yell at me that I should keep my emotions to myself but I can't and it's driving me crazy!" I groan and pace a bit back and forth in her room.
"Claire, I can't just not tell you... I need to." I groan again as I knew I was sounding completely insane.
I looked to Claire and she held nothing but a scowl. She clinched her sheets tighter in her hands and glared at me furiously.
Claire PV
How dare he!? How dare he!? "How dare you!?" I shout finally voicing my thoughts that repeated in my head. He seemed ready for my outburst and instead of anger, he merely looked dejected and defeated.
"Look, I'm sorry, I'll go." He spoke calmly and I snapped.
"DAMN IT AND DAMN YOU!" I scream as anger flies across his face for a moment but he quickly masks it, "What I am supposed to say?!" I shout but much quieter this time. "What do you want me to do?! You want to share my bed? You want to screw me?!" I hiss as he looks shocked. "you want me to nurture your feelings while my sister is in danger? Is that it? You want me to let go of all of my worries and problems and just return your feelings?" I demanded as he looked down and smiled. He actually smiled! I was about to continue with a few scathing remarks but he crossed the room and grabbed my shoulders and shook me once.
"I don't want that! I don't want you to confess your love and I don't want to screw you!" He said forcefully as I frowned... my anger vanished only to be replaced with confusion... he keeps telling me he may like me, that I do things to arouse him and yet he doesn't want me to say I care for him nor does he want to sleep with me? What the hell is his problem.
"W...what?" I asked aloud trying to mentally sort out what his angel was.
"Claire, I told you... I want you to know how I feel... I am not going to expect anything from you... I don't want you to tell me anything... I want you to be able to do that on your own... you're not obligated to care about me at all... I know you have a lot on your mind, Serah and Hope's mother... I get that... I've said that I understand that... I'm not telling you this to force you into a corner... I just want you to know." He sighs and releases my arms as though he's just realized he was holding them. "I want to be open with you... I wasn't open with Tifa... I loved her yeah... but we were only together for a month... but I had cared about her for years, but it took life and death situations to finally force me to open up to her... I care about you Claire Farron, and I don't want to wait till something happens to tell you. Again, you don't have to feel you're obligated to say anything to me, I am just saying what I need to say for my own peace of mind." He sighed as I stared at him and leaned against the headboard of the bed.
"So you are interested in me?" I asked as he nods. "yet you don't want me to feel for you?" I asked as he sighs.
"I want you to feel whatever you feel... I just don't want you to think you owe me anything... you've risked yourself for me and now I am going to die for you... I shouldn't be alive as it is... so no matter how I feel about you, I want you to do whatever you want." He sighs as I shake my head.
"That makes no sense... how can I be sure you won't hold back in battle to punish me if I don't return your feelings?" I asked as Cloud frowned.
"Claire I will die for you if you wish it... I would never do that... your dreams I will die for, I swear it." He stared into my eyes intensely as I sighed.
"How can I believe that?" I asked as he frowned.
"I'll face Titan alone." He states calmly as I frown.
"No!" I growl, "we must win and if you did die and what you're saying is true, then you'd die without helping me..." I stop as I scowl and shake my head.
This was how all the other Queen's Tournament participants were. Demanding that their Saints die for their goals and here I was trying to see if he would die for my goals... it made me sick.
"Claire..."
"Cloud shut up!" I snap as he frowns, "I don't need you to die for me..." I sigh, "I will have to trust you, because you, me, Noel and Hope will die at Jenova's hands if we don't work together... I will again apologize for yesterday and as for all that you've told me... okay I understand that you care about me." I tell him as he nods. "I can't say that the situation doesn't unsettle me. I came from a town that everything given was done so with the expectation to receive something in return, so if we save my sister and Hope's mother, I will think about returning your feelings."
"I don't want that... I want you to feel whatever you want not try to force yourself into..."
"I said think, not that I would give myself to you... so to ensure... well myself, I will allow you to court me up until we save Serah and when we do, I will then decide if I care about you or not... this way I can have some reassurance your words aren't just talk. But understand if you betray us, I will never forgive you." I explain as Cloud sighs and nods.
"Fine, I guess with you that's the best I'll get." He sighed as I frowned.
"What were you hoping for?" I asked as he shrugged.
"Trust... you know I wouldn't betray you, regardless of what you think of my feelings." He reasoned as I shrugged.
"Well you're in my room, without my permission, who knows how long you've been watching me sleep." I half joked. Instantly, I am reminded of the dream I had just before waking. I force myself not to redden at the elicit details and glare him down. Its strange... why would he come to my room so early?
Cloud for the most part only looks away and shakes his head. "I slammed the door to wake you." I frowned and shook my head.
"I may have just woken up, but I am perceptive." I snap, "you stood on my side of the door with your back to my bed... why would anyone walk into a room with the intent of slamming a door but turn to face it before slamming it?" I asked as his cheeks reddened and my bluff at him watching me sleep was no longer a mere bluff, but a fact. "You were watching me sleep?" I asked trying to remember he may be in love with me... that would explain his actions... unless he was thinking of something perverse, which would probably make me feel a lot more at ease... then I could just hit him and send him away... but if all he was doing was admiring me, that was different... or at least in my head. "Stop before you speak, why were you watching me sleep, because I know you were." I rephrase my question as Cloud sighs.
"Can I just kiss you?" He asks out of nowhere. I opened my mouth to object as he leaned closer and at the last moment I slapped him... hard. This had to be some sort of dream... why would he just ask that?! It wasn't like him... was I mentally willing him to ask me?
Of course there was no way to account for the extra strength I had gained from him, so Cloud was now laying on the ground on his knees holding his face. This had to be a continuation of my dreams... I did it often... wake up in my dream only to continue more dreaming. I opened my mouth to speak but shook my head and groaned. "Don't kiss me." I hissed as I glared at him and he glared at me for a moment but smirked at seeing how red my face was.
"Why?" He challenged as I scoffed and then frowned. This was too weird... he was being so bold and it was very similar to what I had just dreamed about...
"You said you wouldn't push anything on me?!" I growled trying to control my mind as he nodded.
"I never said you had to return the kiss, you can just sit there." Cloud explained as I frowned.
"So you just want to take me? I thought you said you wanted me to want it?" I demanded as my cheeks reddened further if possible.
"Did you slap me because you don't want to or because you're nervous... I've been around you long enough to know you only respond with violence when you are nervous or embarrassed. I just want to do it once and I can leave it at that until we save Serah." Cloud reasoned as I frowned.
"You just want to enact some strange fantasy in my bed... you think a kiss will loosen me up and then I'll let you have you way with me." I growled as Cloud sat on the bed and placed his right hand on my right thigh, the bed sheet was the only thing separating his skin from mine.
"Obviously you've thought about this... because you just rattled that scenario off without a hitch." He stated as I stared into his eyes and shook my head but never broke eye contact.
"You just want to sleep with me."
"I want to give you everything." I responded instantly.
"I don't have time for this." I looked away finally as he had leaned in closer.
"One kiss and then I leave, I'll just look at you from afar and I will never again bother you until we save Serah." He stated calmly as I rolled my head around my shoulders actually considering this. He wouldn't be a bother anymore and what was one kiss?
"Fine... one time." I relented as his eyes widened, shocked, I was sure. I probably would regret this but if I could get him to stop being so distracting until Serah was saved, then one peck was worth it... besides this was apart of my dream any how so what was the harm?
"I would have thought you'd disagree a few more times." Cloud chuckled as he lifted a hand to my face and I shied away.
"What are you doing?" I demanded as he raised a brow.
"I plan on kissing you..." He grinned as he tilted my chin up as he leaned closer.
I felt my entire body began heating up in nervousness as his lips were mere moments from touching mine. I could feel his breath against my mouth and I unconsciously licked my lips in preparation, but my tongue grazed his lip and with our close position, I could see his eyes widen slightly as they gazed back into mine. "Sorry." I whispered as his hand slid softly from my chin, to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear.
His finger tips had trailed from my chin to where they now rested at the back of my head and that path was ablaze with heat. It was as though his fingers were fire and their path had left a trail of scorching fire... nothing painful, but it was agonizing. The dream I had just woken from came drifting back to the front of my mind and with how long it was taking him to just kiss me, made me wonder if this was the same dream just playing on a loop?
I found what little sense I had left and stared into his eyes and idiotically spoke, "Is this a dream?" I asked knowing that if I was still dreaming he wouldn't tell me.
The man before me said nothing and with the same hand that had trailed from my chin that now rested at the back of my head pulled me the rest of the distance to his lips.
I felt the warm pressure against my own lips and when he moved, my body released a gasp that my mind wasn't in control of. Cloud took this moment to draw my bottom lips between his and my mind was gone. He suckled and for a brief fleeting moment, I felt his tongue ghost across my lip before the soft suction his mouth supplied became much more urgent... much more intense.
If this was my dream continuing then, I knew where this would head and I was completely okay with it... I had to save Serah but at least I could be free in my own head... I could enjoy something that I may want without guilt... right?
I instinctively gave myself an answer as I pulled him closer only to feel more. Everything was so full of feeling... I felt everything... my entire body had become hyper sensitive and I determined at that point that this was a dream!
I had kissed boys before when I was younger and nothing compared to this... their kisses were like small hills that I could climb and easily reach the top. Those kisses were ones I could go on without, but this... this kiss was a mountain, that I couldn't hope to scale... I could try conquering it but I knew there would always be something more to discover the next time...
Instantly the pressure was gone and I had to take a deep breath realizing that I hadn't breathed since his lips were on mine. I stared back into his eyes and though his hand hand left my head I hadn't released his... both of my hands were still firmly latched together behind his head as we leaned our foreheads together while I caught my breath.
This was definitely a dream... nothing in reality could be that fantastic. I finally managed to control my breathing to a point before pulling him back but I felt resistance. I would have frowned but I wanted more so I leaned closer and capture his lips again. Maybe now I was dreaming of wanting him... that had to be it... yes... the sensation was still mind shattering and again I felt the soft suction of his lips against mine only now it wasn't as intense...
I wanted intense!
I crushed our faces closer and I opened my mouth and finally my dream was going where I wanted it to go. His tongue touched mine and my thighs clinched together and I gasped into the kiss as his arms encircled my waist and I struggled to get closer but my legs were trapped in the sheet and the moment I tried to get up he pulled away.
"Claire... stop..." He spoke softly while I tried catching my breath again as I finally was free of the sheet. I tried to latch my arms around him again but he stopped me and I frowned.
My dreams couldn't deny me! I shook my head and clinched my eyes closed as I willed myself to wake up, because I was not going to be embarrassed by him even in my dreams... I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
"Claire..." He said again as I wasn't waking up and finally he shook me a bit too roughly and my back popped and despite there being close to no pain, it made me realize I was awake.
I... was... awake. The thought caused my body to burn with shame and embarrassment. I opened my eyes to look expecting Cloud to be smirking but he looked just as intense as he had a few moments ago... during the actual... ACTUAL kiss!
"I am not going to apologize for that... I won't deny that I've had some intense dreams about you, but I think you may have thought you were someplace else just now. I want you like that Claire... I do... but I want you to be able to enjoy it without worrying about your sister or your promise to Hope... so that is what I'm going to hold out hope for when this is over... if you're still interested." He grinned
I stared at him and looked down in embarrassment. "Claire don't be embarrassed, you're an amazing kisser." He grinned as I had no words to say and just punched him, softly. I was still too shocked that I had actually like an idiot thought that was a dream. "Like I said just one kiss." He repeated as I found myself frowning.
"What?" I asked and realized he meant to only have one kiss... but I had definitely enjoyed taking the second as much as the first. He began to stand as I grabbed his arm and scowled. "Damn you." I hissed as Cloud groaned.
"What is it now... look I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you." He sighed as I shook my head.
"I'm not used to getting... guys okay... just... look... this is happening so fast." I snap angrily. "I... you... shouldn't have kissed me..." I reason as he sits back down and leans close to me and I sit still wondering if he was going to do it again.
"I will respect whatever you want... and from what I can tell, or at least what I am hoping is that you want to do that again... I'm going to help you save Serah and keep your promise to Hope... then I'm going to really kiss you like I mean it." He stated boldly and I gasped... pride be damned.
Cloud smiled and leaned close to me again and I waited for the sensation. I closed my eyes and parted my lips hoping our tongues would touch but instead he pecked my cheek and then rubbed my arm. He stood quickly before I could grab at him and headed to the door.
"I'll see you downstairs for breakfast." He announced before opening the door and quickly shutting it after he walked out.
I stared at the wooden door for seconds... maybe even minutes as I tried desperately to process what had just happened...
He was watching me sleep, we talked. He wants me to want to kiss him... and shamefully I do... but he agrees that before anything goes further we should save Serah and Hope's mother... I agree... he kissed me and the world melted away... that was no dream.
I took a few deep breaths and finally realized how warm my body was feeling. I cursed silently as I stared at the door with unflinching eyes. He said when we had saved Serah that he would really kiss me... what the hell was that earlier then?
That thought sent shivers through my body. I took a few more deep breaths as I thought on the situation. He wanted me, and after that kiss... I wanted him, but it would have to wait... and he accepted that... so despite how random and rushed this feels... I wanted this...
... badly...
Just cranked that out earlier today... I had just finished reading some other stories on the site and the idea hit me and I loved it! It actually works with the story path I'm looking to follow... I think we've all waited long enough for some true intense Cloud/Lightning!
IMPORTANT:::::::::::::::::::::IMPORTANT Please read this little fill in for the chapter... I wanted to add it in the beginning but I wanted everyone to read the chapter first.
This chapter took place the morning after Claire and Cloud got into an argument... Cloud's change of attitude comes from his interaction with Jihl... he sees how Jihl cared for her mother and still lost her so he's at the point that he's not going to waste time anymore... he's lived for five thousand plus years so his shyness isn't as crippling as it is in the FF7 series.
And Claire... Claire... Claire... Claire... she had her first little... ahem... dream... about her and Cloud... x-rated of course. So being awoken from that and instantly having to listen to Cloud's emotions put her in a place of inhibition... and I think the only way she'd ever do something for herself while Serah needed her was if she thought she was dreaming... or at least that's what I assume... of course just trying to keep her as close to character as possible!
THANKS TO YOU ALL HOPE THIS CHAPTER WAS FUN TO READ! :J