Okay, so this is one of my favorite chapters, out of the ones of written, just 'cause I think its so Bamon. There's a kinda angst-filled one coming up, so we get to have fun with some of Bonnie & Damon's disagreements for the minute. I'm also currently working on a small series, which is just ten or so 100 word one-shots for Bonnie & Damon which I may do for some other series, depending on whether people think it's a good idea? Anyway, enjoy this for now.

Killerkaiser x

Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries, I just own everyone else...

Summary: For once, Bonnie is the root of the problem

Elena weaved her way through the crowd packed on the steps leading up to the Lockwood main hall, searching for Stefan. With the Mayor's funeral and the mysterious circumstances surrounding his death, as well as Damon skulking around – Elena knew she would only be comfortable once she was beside Stefan again. Unfortunately, whoever it was up above that enjoyed screwing with her life (probably the same person that had led the vampires to town in the first place), had decided she hadn't quite suffered enough for one day.

"Elena."

Elena heaved a heavy sigh and turned to Damon, who was standing on the porch overlooking the sprawling Lockwood estate with a considerate eye.

"What do you want Damon?" she asked flatly, not in the mood to play his games.

Strangely enough, Damon didn't seem concerned with his usual antics. Perhaps things were turning Elena's way.

"A word," he said in all seriousness; this tone did not fool her though, because she could still detect that edge to his voice that meant he was up to no good and about to piss someone off. He looked at Elena concernedly before he spoke. "You need to put a leash on that little friend of yours."

Elena stared at him, confused. "What?"

"Bonnie."

Elena immediately went tense. "What did you do?"

Damon's composure slipped as he almost choked at her question. "What did I do?" he exclaimed incredulously. "Um, she used her powers on me in public and keeps threatening to kill me!"

As ridiculous as it may have sounded, because Bonnie was supposed to be the calm, collected one, this was in fact true. After a short conversation about the vampire-torturing device affecting Mayor Lockwood, Damon and Bonnie's exchange had once again turned ugly. When he started being his usual cocky-ass self, Bonnie couldn't help but bring him down a few pegs. In fact, if his lingering headache was any indication, quite a lot of pegs.

Regardless, Elena's reply was less than satisfactory. "And?"

Damon took a deep breath before he spoke, to avoid saying something he'd be made to regret (although he doubted Elena packed quite the same punch as Bonnie did).

"Look," he said heatedly, getting slightly irritated. "I agreed to help you out. And Bonnie agreed to help you out, even though she double-crossed us and almost got us killed – grudging props to her for that by the way," he admitted reluctantly. "For getting one past us." He paused to consider this. "Kinda like something I'd do," he mused. He shook his head fiercely to get back on point. "Regardless, I can't work with her if she wants me permanently dead."

Elena, who had been watching this with a bored expression, gave a sigh and told him "Damon, I don't have time for this."

She made to move past him but he stepped in her way, speaking hurriedly. "I mean, this could all be solved very quickly." He shrugged indifferently. "I could just y'know, rip her head off." Elena's mouth shot open and he cut in before she could get anything out.

"But," he said pointedly. 'Since she's your friend and you and Stefan are on your 'be good' power trip, I have to find another way to deal with this. Unfortunately, and it physically pains me to say this," (It did in fact, for he winced as he spoke) "But if I try anything, she may just cause me to spontaneously combust from the inside out. So, if you want both of us coming out of this in one piece, you need to talk to her."

"I don't need to do anything," Elena told him shortly. "If the big, bad Damon Salvatore can't handle Bonnie on his own… he needs to consider, first off, to stop being such an ass to her."

Damon looked insulted. "Hey, you saw in the hospital: I tried to call a truce, she's the one not going for it."

Elena gave a derisive snort. "You got her grandmother killed, the closest thing she had to family. You've screwed up the lives of all her friends, and because of you she's now a teenage witch having to deal with vampires."

"Which she should be thanking me for," Damon told her. "She's a super-hot, bad-ass witch now. Much better than a loser human teenager."

Elena rolled her eyes at him. "I'm just saying that you can't blame her. So I think for now, you just need to stay out of her way."

Again, Elena made to walk away from him but paused to say "Besides, you were with her, alone and you're still here, in one piece. Seems like she's got a bit more control than you do."

With that, Elena headed off into the crowd. Or at least she would have done, if Damon's voice hadn't called her back.

"Speaking of control…" His voice was sly, suggestive and Elena turned back to him cautiously. Damon shrugged disinterestedly. "I'm just saying that if that wicked little mouth of hers doesn't get to me, her blood still might."

Elena's own blood ran cold. "Damon…" she said in a warning tone.

Damon took no notice and just slipped his hands casually into his pockets. "I just mean, I've had one taste already and well… I mean witches blood is just so…Whoo!" He pretended to shake the chills away as Elena glared at his gleeful expression.

"Got that spark to it you know?" he grinned. After a second of consideration he said "Kinda like Bonnie."

He strolled towards Elena as she watched him warily, praying for Stefan to come and find her: she knew what Damon was doing. Knew when he was gearing himself up for a game. Damon noticed this and smiled.

"I mean, she's just the best friend. Caroline's the one that's out there for every guy to take a look at, you're the one they love and Bonnie…" He spoke almost regretfully. "She's the secretly really hot one with the weird side." He laughed slightly. "Course that's never bothered me. After all, I like my girls with a little bit of a dark streak and Bonnie…"

Elena cut him off before he could go any further, her voice firm. "I think if you so much as look at her wrong right now, she'll have your head, so it's in your best interests to back off." She meant it as a warning, but knew before she said it that Damon would take no heed.

"At least that'll be easy for him."

They both froze at the sound of a familiar voice behind them. Bonnie strolled forward, the hints of a mocking smile gracing her lips. "If there's one thing Damon knows how to do it's to look out for himself."

Her eyes flicked up towards his and Damon turned to Elena.

"See what I mean. Always with the insults."

"Damon…" Elena started tiredly.

"No he's right," Bonnie cut her off. Her voice turned colder, her expression even more so. "Not like he doesn't deserve it though."

Damon laughed bitterly and visibly fought to control his temper. "You better to tell her to watch it Elena, or she's gonna end up with my hand around that pretty little neck of hers."

"Well," Bonnie smirked unconcernedly. "You've already had your teeth round it once so…" Her tone changed from teasing to harsh. "Why don't you stop whining to Elena about your problems with me, and actually make a move."

Damon responded to her challenge in an instant and took a step forward as she raised her chin defiantly.

Elena jumped between them. "Bonnie, stop," she said fiercely. She looked to Damon. "Damon, back off."

"Hey, the witch totally started this one," Damon snapped, eyes fixed murderously on Bonnie.

"And I'm gonna finish it," Bonnie retorted. "Come on Salvatore." Her eyes took on a gleam, her expression taunting, a dare. "Bring it."

"Bonnie, stop it!" Elena snapped. "Damon, no," she said firmly, putting a hand against his chest to hold him back.

"She's asking for it," Damon seethed.

Bonnie viciously enjoyed seeing his temper slip from his control. "I'm begging for it."

But before Damon could make a move, giving Bonnie the opportunity she had been waiting for to take him out, Elena shouted "Enough!"

She looked between both of them, upset and angry. "I don't care what's up between you two, but you need to get over it. You're gonna have to deal with each other whether you want to or not. So, Bonnie," she whipped around to order her friend. "Damon stays alive." She turned to Damon and told him "Damon, stay out of Bonnie's way."

Both Bonnie and Damon spoke at once, taken aback by Elena's outburst. "But…"

"No," Elena cut them off sharply.

"But she," Damon whined, just as Bonnie complained 'But he…"

"Stop it, Elena snapped fiercely.

"Elena…" Damon and Bonnie tried one more time.

"Figure it out," was all Elena said before she stormed away.

There was silence for a moment. Damon, as per usual, was the first to break it with a cheerful "So… guess this means I can't kill you."

Bonnie looked at him with raised eyebrows, and if she was disconcerted by his quick attitude change, she didn't show it.

"And you can't kill me," he continued slowly. "So what are we gonna do to pass the time?" He waggled his eyebrows at her. "We gonna play games Bonnie?"

Now Damon Salvatore was not often caught out, but the witch had a way of doing everything he didn't expect. True to this, she upended it all this time when she laughed.

Damon looked at her warily, with a slight smile tugging at his lips as he tried to hide his amusement at her mirth. "What?"

Bonnie shrugged with a smile. "I just never figured you for the type of guy who plays games he can't win."

Well, that was a proverbial slap in the face wasn't it?

She said no more, simply turned and sauntered away. Damon didn't speak, not until his eyes met Bonnie's for the briefest second as she paused at the door before moving into the corridor and out of sight.

"Who says I haven't won?"

Ring those bells ladies and gentlemen. Round One begins now of the Simply Complicated Art of Enjoying Enjoyment.

The ringing bells could also signify incoming reviews...