Gai pranced over to his team.

"Team!" he paused for a moment, and struck a pose. "I have some advice, some news, and someone for you to Meet!"

"In that order?" asked Neji.

"YES!"

Gai struck another pose while simultaneously clearing his throat, accidentally spitting a wad of phlegm in Neji's eye. Neji froze in place. Tenten reached over and wiped away the large green snot-ball, clearing Neji's vision and allowing him to give Gai a death-glare. Gai was able to ignore it since he was doing another pose. He did a few more, then went into his Teaching Pose (legs spread, arms akimbo. Gives a sense of authority.)

"Advice first. This is mostly for Tenten, but you boys should pay attention as well."

They listened.

"Posing too vigorously can get a woman pregnant."

Tenten face slapped. Rock Lee blinked rapidly and Neji didn't blink at all. He was going slowly into a Gai-coma.

"News second. I once posed too vigorously with a beautiful woman. And the person I want you to Meet is my long-lost daughter. HER NAME IS AMY!"

Neji rubbed his ears as a long-legged girl appeared. She said something, but he was still deaf, so he just stared at her incredibly long legs instead of responding. She was as tall as Gai, and most of that height appeared to be in her thighs and calves. She also had bright blue hair, which they stared at for a while longer. Rock Lee sprang up once the deafness wore off.

"It is good to Meet you, AMY!"

Neji set a hand on Rock Lee's shoulder and tried to explain gently.

"Rock Lee, I don't think her name is actually AMY. I think Gai-sensei just said it that way because he was excited. I'm pretty sure it's actually just Amy, right?"

He looked at her for confirmation, who shrugged.

"That's what I'm called, yes. Amy. But it does say AMY on the birth certificate, so you can call me whatever you want."

She giggled, and the light in the room grew brighter. Neji blinked.

"Amy." He hissed in Lee's ear before moving away.

A red light began to blink as an alarm started to warble.

"A mission!" shouted Tenten. They all slid down the pole to the secret underground lair, where they milled about aimlessly for several minutes trying to find the invisible entrance. Amy eventually found it by whipping out a small computer and using modern technology.

They arrived at the scene—a giant monster was ravaging Tokyo! Er, Konoha!

They sprang into action, but were immediately slapped into a convenient (or inconvenient, rather) wall that appeared out of nowhere. They'd spent so much time in the underground lair that the monster had grown too strong for them!

"Whatever shall we do?" shrieked Gai, slapping his hands to his cheeks. Neji groaned in response.

Amy took the lead.

"MERCURY STAR POWER!" she yelled. The three team members pushed themselves up on their elbows and watched her spin around in a complicated dance. She finished with a knock-kneed pose that made Neji's eyes widen.

"She's definitely Gai's daughter." He muttered to himself.

"MERCURY BUBBLES!" she shrieked. She proceeded to whup the monster in an incredibly girly fashion while Gai cheered. When she finished, Gai had waterfalls streaming down his face. He opened his arms, and she rushed into them as a large, magnificent sunset accompanied by a tall wave. If Gai's tears were waterfalls, then AMY's were sprinklers. They shot out from her eyes in a sparkly shower.

Neji flipped himself over to get tanned on the other side. He wasn't sure how Rock Lee's flaming eyes were producing UV rays, but he was afraid he might be getting a sunburn.

Tenten crawled over to Neji. "I think Rock Lee might be jealous," she started to whisper, but halted and shrieked in pain from the instant sunburn caused by Rock Lee's eyes. Neji flipped himself over again.

Rock Lee leapt on Amy and started shrieking and pummeling her. "Go back to where you came from, Space-time witch!"

A boy with incredibly long legs and broad shoulders appeared. He was wearing glasses. He was accompanied by an equally long-legged woman with incredibly long black hair. The boy spoke.

"Actually, she's not the space-time witch."

"I am." Said the woman. "Do you have a wish?"

"Yes!" Rock Lee yelled. He jabbed an angry finger at Amy. "Get rid of her!"

The woman leaned over and stroked Rock Lee's face in a disturbing way. "There will be a price." She whispered.

"I'll pay!"

"Very well. No one will remember…"

-…-

Neji stared at Rock Lee, who was gazing in the mirror disconsolately.

"I didn't think she'd ask for that…"

Neji smacked Rock Lee. Hard. (But not in unmentionable places. Just across the back of the head. Just to reassure you. In case you were worried or something. Yah.)

"I still wanna know why the hell you shaved your eyebrows off, Lee."

-…-

Authors PostNote: Okay, the two crossovers are Sailor Moon and XxX Holic. I'm pretty sure everyone got the first, but the second one isn't as popular, so I'd figured I'd tell you. Just in case you were wondering. Sorry for taking so long to update.