Author's note: Aaahhh, guys, I'm super excited about this chapter. Progress is being made! Yeah! It's also very Merdred centric. Hope you guys enjoy! Thank you for reading, lovelies! Also, I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween.
"You're up early." Mordred jumped at the low voice. A chuckle echoed throughout the room. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Merlin stepped into the kitchen and fixed the hungry teenager with a sheepish grin.
"It's alright. What are you doing up?", he asked quizzically.
"Couldn't sleep. I'm guessing you're up because you barely ate anything for dinner. You took two bites and then dashed to your room. Is everything alright?" Merlin stepped closer to the young man. Mordred fidgeted at the proximity.
"Yeah, I just wasn't hungry then."
"Alright...", Merlin's tone disbelieving. "Everything okay at school?"
"Yes! It's great, actually. I really think I'm going to like it there."
"That's great!" At this point they were standing right next to each other. Mordred look up and was stunned by how beautiful Merlin's eyes were. They were a light blue, and Mordred found himself becoming lost.
He gaze went down an inch and his eyes caught moving lips. Pink, lush lips. He wondered how they would feel against his. His dream from earlier came rushing back and Mordred found himself being consumed with lust. Without thinking, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Merlin's. Heat enveloped his body and his lips tingled at the contact. For a few seconds those lips moved against his in complete bliss. But the bliss shattered when he was pushed away and realized what he had done.
"Oh my god. I am so sorry. Fuck. Fuck. Oh god.", he sputtered out, hands flying up to his lips in shock. His eyes met Merlin's for a second before he turned and ran up the stairs to his bedroom, locking the door, and diving into his bed. He hid under the blankets, hoping they would swallow him.
Minutes passed before footsteps could be heard leading up to his door. A knock and a whisper of his name. The whispering continued for a few more seconds before disappearing and footsteps going away. Tears welled in his eyes. How could he be so stupid? Merlin was going to hate him. He was going to tell Arthur and they were both going to hate him and kick him out.
He searched for his phone on the bed and called Cara. She could calm him and give him some advice.
"What the fuck, Mordred. It's two in the fucking morning. This better be fucking important, you fucker." A gravely voice answered the phone. A wet laughed escaped from Mordred's throat.
"I kissed Merlin.", he whispered.
"You WHAT?!", she whisper-screamed. "Holy shit, Mordred. I didn't think you'd ever have the balls to do it!"
"This is horrible, Cara! I've fucked everything up. What do I do?", he quietly screeched. A sigh was heard trough the phone.
"You could either pretend like it didn't happen or step up your game. Did he kiss back? Or was it? Was there tongue?" Her excitement only exasperated him.
"I can't step up my game! One, I have no game to step up and, two, he has a boyfriend! And it was really great..", he mumbled the last part, burrowing his head into the pillow. Cara giggled.
"I'll need more than that." Mordred growled.
"Fine. He kissed back for maybe ten seconds. There was no tongue. He has really soft lips. Cara, I'm in love with him. And he's with someone else and probably thinks of me as long a cousin or something."
"He kissed back! That's got to mean something! And maybe he thinks of you as more of a second cousin."
"Sometimes I wonder why I bother with you." He was sure she could see his pouting through the phone just as he knew she was smiling softly.
"Honey, it's cause you love me. But in all honesty, I probably would just forget it ever happened. He might try to talk to you but don't say anything until he does."
"Cara, that's the way you deal with everything."
"And it's worked so far! Anyway, I have school in five hours. I'm going to bed. Tell me about all of the awkward interactions you will have tomorrow. And try not the look guilty."
"I'll try but I don't know if that will be possible. I love you. Goodnight."
"I love you, too. Sweet dreams. But not too sweet!" He rolled his eyes and hung up. Slightly calmer than he was before talking to her, he rolled over and promptly fell asleep, although it was restless and filled with nightmares.
At 7 o'clock sharp, an alarm blared. A hand shot out from beneath blankets and slammed on the button, effectively shutting it off. The tired boy stretched and let out a large yawn. He was not excited. Not only did he have to face Merlin after what happened last night, but he had school.
Once he was ready, he quietly walked into the kitchen, hoping that it would be empty. Alas, luck was not on his side and Merlin was seated at the table, eating jam covered toast. Mordred was tempted to not eat that morning but he would have to face him eventually. That didn't mean he wouldn't try to be as quiet as possible. He took two steps towards the refrigerator and Merlin's head shot up, looking straight at him. Mordred gulped.
"Good morning, Mordred." Merlin was uneasy but was trying to hide it. Mordred saw throught it anyway.
"Morning." He continued his way to the refrigerator and got out the milk. Next came cereal, bowl, and spoon. He assembled his breakfast and sat as far away from Merlin as possible. They sat in silence for solid five minutes. Merlin kept opening his mouth and then quickly closing it. After the twentieth time, Mordred got up and put his bowl in the sink. As he was leaving the room, Merlin called his name.
"You don't have any plans tonight, do you?", he asked.
"Not that I know of," Mordred replied.
"Arthur is going to have to stay late at work today. I was hoping we could talk?" Mordred swallowed hard but nodding his consent. He quickly got his supplies and left for school after that.
School was not only tiring, but Mordred was unable to barely get any work done, annoying his teachers to no end. He was thankful to be home but dreading when Merlin came home. He was going to have to explain himself. How do you tell someone who is eleven years older than you that you are massively in love with them and have been for quite sometime even before you have ever even actually met them? And he was fairly certain he was going to get kicked out. Which meant he would have to move back in with Morgana-not that he minded- and also have to wake up far earlier than any human had a right to be awake at.
He went to lay on him bed, thinking of ways the conversation would go and his replies. None of them had good outcomes. When he got to his seventieth or so scenario, the door opened and a smooth masculine voiced yelled his name. Slowly, Mordred walked down the stairs and into the living room. Merlin was sat on the chair and gestured toward the couch. Mordred immediately sat down.
"This is going to be very awkward but it's something we need to discuss," Merlin didn't beat around the bush, "Last night cannot happen again. I understand that you are a teenager and right now you're hormones and feeling are all over the place. I want you to know I'm not mad. I used to have crushes on older men when I was your age, too." He grinned and winked.
Mordred blurted out, "It's not just a crush!", before his brain caught up with him. A strange expression crossed over Merlin's face. Mordred was unable to decipher it.
"What do you mean?" The older man asked quietly.
"Um, it's nothing, really. You don't need to worry about it." Mordred fidgeted with his hands, wishing he could take everything back. Except for maybe the kiss. Despite all the trouble it's causing, it was a wonderful kiss and Mordred doubt he would ever forget it.
Merlin raised an eyebrow. "I really think we need to get everything out in the open so that we can move on from this. I would like to have a relationship with you, Mordred." Just not romantically, thought the teenager bitterly.
"I really don't want to talk about it," his voice was barely above a whisper. There was no way he could get the words. Tears were forming in his eyes and his body was shaking. He knew he only had minutes before a total breakdown.
"I'm not going to force you. But I still believe we will need to talk about this. We can wait until you are ready, though." Mordred nodded and left to go to his room. He locked the door, sliding down it and tried to muffle his sobs. This was a disaster. It felt like nothing good ever happened in his life. His mother died, he's been bullied to the point that he's had to switch schools, and he's in love with someone he can never have. His body shook violently and he curled even more into himself. He wished his mom was here.