I promised you that it isn't over :-)

I hope everybody can identify this one as the new chapter.

-ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS-

The Fifth Year: The Cold in Iceland

"It felt so real."

Of course he knew who she was – he just didn't know which one...

When Booth had opened his heavy eyelids, her face was just as beautiful as it had been merely seconds ago – save that she had looked delighted back then, free from worry lines and bleak fear. Back in his dream, her eyes had been open, unguarded, sparkling with love and happiness. Right now he found traces of the same affection and care in the gray blue, but it was carefully hidden behind a curtain of caution.

Oh Holy Mother, he loved her. He loved Bren, Bones, his wife, his partner... this woman looking at him with so much concern right now... but, who was she? Which one did he love?

Who are you?

His words had gripped her heart like a fist made of ice, slowly freezing her from the inside out. She was his partner, his friend, his Bones... how was it possible that he didn't recognize her? Instantly, her brain provided her with countless details about amnesia, but there was a part inside of her that didn't want to hear any facts. A part which simply refused to accept the concept that Booth could ever forget her.

For four days Brennan hadn't left her partner's side, ever since the flat line on the monitor had caused her own heart to stop as well. She had gotten him back, at least almost. Guarding his coma, she had been defenseless against the emotions that had threatened to drown her – the fear, the tenderness, the attachment.

In an attempt to rescue herself, Brennan had sought refugee in a medium that had allowed her to express her feelings without actually... expressing them. So she had written them another life, a dream, an alternate reality.

She had allowed herself to be his wife, to belong to him, hug him, kiss him with naturalness. The words had come so easily, easier than they should have, but – after all – it was just another kind of closeness.

It wasn't coincidentally that her fantasy had started in the bedroom with her coming home. Coming home in the middle of the night to a man who loved her – it was the essence of her lonely teenage dreams, the incarnation of bliss. She had to make love to Booth as well, at least in her mind. She needed to feel his big, strong body covering her own, his warm skin close to hers, and sitting next to her unconscious partner in the dim light of her computer screen, the sensations had been almost real.

Imagining this kind of intimacy with Booth hadn't been very hard either, hell, she hadn't even bothered to change their names – expect for one...

He couldn't call her "Bones"; not in this world, that was the last line which may not be crossed. Using his name for her in a fairytale would have made it too real, could have endangered the safeness of their real life bond.

"Temperance" wasn't an option either because every single time her first name left his lips on a low whisper, something inside of her did a somersault – even though those moments were rare. No, the sound of this name in his voice was too sacred to use it for a fantasy.

"Bren" on the other hand was safe, it was neutral. Her Booth never called her like that. Bren was allowed to love Booth.

They had been nightclub owners. Brennan had no idea why her mind had chosen that scenario; maybe just because it was as far away from the reality as possible. Their friends had been there as well, just different versions of them.

She had written herself a baby; the baby she had asked him for just a few days ago. Brennan was an accomplished storyteller, but the pure felicity in Booth's eyes when she – veto, not "she", "Bren" – had told him about her pregnancy had taken her aback. Brennan hadn't been prepared to feel that much because of her own creation, but right there she had known that she could never ever use the sperm he had donated.

Never would she defraud Booth of this moment, never would she do it to herself. If happiness like this could exist – no matter in which world – she didn't want to settle for a sad substitute.

When his eyelids had fluttered, finally opened to reveal soft brown eyes that were so dear to her, the moment crashed right into her fictional bubble, leaving her almost dazed with confusion and gratitude.

He was awake and he didn't know anything about the perfect world she had created while he was asleep. They could go back to normal.

Mourning the loss of something that had never been true mingled with the incredible relief that the real Seeley Booth was looking at her – until be parted his lips to destroy her with his words, causing her to splinter into a million fragments of something she didn't even recognize anymore.

-BONES-

It wasn't amnesia, and Brennan wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. All the while the doctor had examined him, Booth's eyes hadn't left her for one second. It felt as if he was looking straight through her, as if he could see her heart that was still so vulnerable.

Then the doctor was gone, and she was alone with her partner again. Moving her chair closer to his bed, Brennan took a seat anew.

"How are you feeling, Booth?" she finally asked.

He shrugged, and there was this lost-little-puppy look on his face.

"I don't know... everything is so strange, Bren."

Bren... it took a few seconds until realization hit her with the force of a steam train, and she had to gasp. He had called her Bren! He knew.

His eyes flew to her face, and he found nothing but shock in her features, her pale blue eyes wide open, her hand covering her mouth.

"Hey, you're looking as if you've seen a ghost."

A ghost? Very educated guess...

"Booth, you've have called me 'Bren'."

He had. Crap.

"Sorry, Bones, it's just... this dream felt so real."

"Oh, my God. Oh, my God."

"Bones?"

"People say you only live once, but people are as wrong about that, as they are about everything..." she recited on a whisper.

A sharp pant of disbelief left his mouth.

"You did this? You created my dream?"

"Oh my God..."

Her head fell into her hands, and she buried her face in shame.

"Why, Bones, why?"

She shook her head in silent desperation. Then she felt warmth and pressure on her cheek as Booth tried to raise her head, to meet her eyes.

"Please, tell me why..."

His voice was barely audible, and Brennan knew that he deserved an answer.

"I already told you that you reacted poorly to the anesthesia." She took a deep breath, as the terror came back. 'Poorly' is somehow an understatement, though. Booth, you have been dead. For thirty seconds you have been dead, and I couldn't do anything. When your heart started to beat again, I wanted to hug you... so, so badly. Whenever you get scared, whenever I get scared, remember?"

Holding her honest gaze, he nodded.

"You fell into a coma with no chance to reassure me with a guy hug, your trademark charming smile or your warm brown eyes. I guess... I've found another way to feel close to you," she ended on a soft sigh.

"I'm so sorry, Booth, I didn't know that you listened to it. I didn't want to confuse you..."

"Don't apologize," he interrupted her curtly, and he found a spark of astonishment flashing in her eyes.

"Bones... you've created a very happy place. Of all the nightmares in this world that could have been haunting me... I'm glad that I've found your dream. It's just gonna be... hard to forget."

Bending forward until her cheek rested next to his hand on the bed, she admitted,

"I know... Booth, I have been there as well."

It was barely a movement, but his hand shifted a tad until he could caress her face.

"Please, stay with me tonight. Let's talk about it, let's mourn it."

"Like on a wake?"

"Yeah, the wake of our dream, honey."

The slip caused her chest to tighten, and she tilted her head until his palm cupped her whole cheek.

"Okay..."

-BONES-

"And Zack's face!"

Erupting in laughter, Brennan let her head fall onto Booth's shoulder. She was lying on the bed next to him, a pile of empty pudding bowls in front of them.

"But why, for God's sake, did they steal his shoes?"

"I don't know," her statement was followed by a dramatic gesture of her arms, "I suppose because the highly unlikely things could always only happen to him..."

"It was good to see him, I'm very glad you included him, Bones. He was one of a kind."

"I miss him as well."

Reaching for her hand, he gave her a comforting squeeze.

"Angela was quite dumb, though."

She was giggling again.

"Yes, I didn't do that character justice."

Silence covered them for a few moments, as the two partners were deep lost in thoughts. Finally, she spoke again.

"I don't know why I emphasized your protective streak that much, though."

Knowing exactly what she was talking about, his heart skipped a beat.

"That was me, Bones..."

Taking in her confused frown, he hurried to add,

"Every once in a while there was something in my dream that didn't feel completely right. You were too reckless, or I didn't care enough, I don't know," he shrugged, "but I tried to correct it until it felt true."

"Are you saying... Do you think that you influenced my story?"

"I don't know, Bones, but does it sound so impossible? After all, we do have a special connection."

Snuggling her face closer into his shoulder, Brennan simply nodded, accepting the possibility.

"Bones, you know that you are neither a cold fish nor Iceland, don't you? I'm sorry if my past actions gave you any reason to write that part."

Lifting her head, she looked at him calmly, but soon her serious facial expression was replaced by a smug grin.

"I know. I'm a volcano."

Booth chuckled softly and placed a tender kiss on her temple. Both of them froze for a second, as they noticed his third slip that night, but neither of them dared to name it. Letting go of the endearments would be the hardest thing...

"Did I write the love?" she asked in a little voice.

He silenced for a while, pondering her question and the least dangerous way to answer it.

"Hmm, maybe we both pursued our hope for love..."

As always when it came to matters of the heart, she accepted his response, filing it away in the corner of her mind that was full of Booth wisdom.

"Booth, will we be able to live with this... this knowledge?" she found the courage to ask, and his hold on her hand tightened.

"We have to, Bones, we have to."

Her head found its way back to his shoulder, and after a while of silence, her breathing became slow and even. Positive that she was asleep, Booth placed his free hand over her belly in a wistful gesture of affection.

"Oh, Sweetheart," he sighed, as his fingertips danced over her flat midsection in a final caress.

With eyes wide shut, Brennan lay as still as possible, helpless against the tenderness which consumed her body at his touch. Something inside of her crumbled, and for a sweet stolen moment she felt like Bren again, the woman in her dream who did have everything.

Concentrating on her respiration, Brennan thought about the offer she had just gotten a few days ago. Guatemala...

Not being a fool, she was fully aware that joining that dig equaled fleeing, but right now she didn't care.

Sometimes you have to go away... to be able to come back.

To be continued...