"Voicemail inbox for Brittany Pierce is now full. Please try again."
Shit. After throwing the damn cellphone at the wall, I lean back in my chair and let out another frustrated noise. It's been a day since Brittany ran off and I've yet to speak a word to her. Granted she probably doesn't want to talk to me right now but I still have to try. Not bothering to try and leave another voicemail, since considering she probably hasn't listened to the ones from before, I try and think up a plan to get the dancer to at least hear me out.
I've sent multiple care packages to her place but so far all have been rejected, even the ones I've sent to the studio. Guess Tina and Mike aren't that fond of me now are they? After watching Brittany run off, I quickly grabbed a cab to her apartment, hoping that she would have gone straight home. I wasn't surprised when no one answered my incessant banging on the grate except for an angry elderly woman on the third floor who threatened to throw water on me if I didn't shut the hell up. Not to be ousted by some old granny, I ignored her threat and continued to call out to Brittany. When my voice became hoarse, I sat atop the grate and wrote a note for her to call me, but I guess that didn't work out since I've yet to hear her voice.
Dejected and thoroughly wet, courtesy of granny upstairs, I went home to plan my next course of action. I needed to explain my side of the story to her, that it was all a misunderstanding and that I didn't mean to deceive her. Brittany has to hear me out, she just has to. I can't lose the woman I love; I refuse to let our relationship slide. Jolted out of my thoughts by the sound of my cellphone going off somewhere, I jump up and scramble around the room trying to find the damn thing. Oh god please let it be Brittany calling. Finding the object lying next to the garbage pail and my bookcase, I grab it and press the answer button quickly.
"Britt?"
"Hey sorry it's me, still no word from Brittany yet?"
"Quinn…"
"Yeah, how're you doing?"
"I don't know what to do Q."
"Just hang in there, I'm sure she'll come around, she doesn't seem like the type to hold a grudge. All you have to do is explain your situation to her Santana."
"I wish she would let me see her just once. Then I can explain this whole thing and hope to god she forgives me."
"I know S. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll come around, just give her some time to cool off maybe."
"What if she doesn't? What if this is it and she doesn't ever talk to me again? Oh god why didn't I just tell her the truth, I mean I had so many opportunities and I blew it. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
"Santana, look it's never good to dwell on the past, what you need to figure out is what to do in the future. If you really love her then you need to fix this dilemma as soon as possible. I don't know about you but I'd prefer it if one of my bride's maids isn't crying all over my expensive wedding."
"Shit, Quinn I'm so sorry, your wedding is coming up and I'm totally not helping. What am I going to do?"
"Santana stop for a second, I want you to do something for me."
"What?"
"Breathe. Take a deep breath and just relax for a second. Calm down and focus."
Pulling the phone away from my ear, I take Quinn's advice and slowly count to three in my head, exhaling and inhaling evenly to ease away my anxiety. When I feel a bit of the panic ebb away from my body and I slowly feel the tension slip away, I pull the phone back up to my face and thank the woman on the other end.
"You're welcome S. but next time, please remember to keep your panic ridden calls to a minimum. How am I supposed to contact you if you're too busy blowing up someone else's voicemail."
"Screw you Fabray."
"Likewise. Now you have two days before my wedding, what are you going to do Lopez?"
"I don't know…I've tried contacting her at work, her apartment. Hell I even sent as many messages as I could to her phone but I haven't heard one word from her. Her friends from the studio won't return my calls and every single telegram I've sent up there has been returned."
"Let's do a bit of damage control first okay? Her friends seem to be the best bet in trying to contact her. Why haven't you gone back to the studio yet?"
"I've tried but they wouldn't buzz or talk to me about Britt at all."
"Well I suggest you find a way in. Your best bet is to get in and talk to her yourself."
"But…"
"Just do it Lopez, when have I ever steered you wrong? Besides I really don't want Rachel to be mad at me if I let you ruin our wedding with your sad face. Get it together Santana and go get your girl back!"
After speaking to Quinn a while longer, I readied myself to encounter the Chang's at their workplace. Whatever I do, I have to get inside the building and at least see Brittany. How I would get inside without being told to get lost is still being worked out but somehow, someway I will be getting in. Determined to at least win back some points with Brittany's friends, I scramble to throw on some casual clothing, running a hand errantly through my disheveled hair and sending a quick text to Brittany just in case to see if she would respond. Who knows, maybe luck would be on my side.
Too fidgety to wait for the elevator, I take the stairs two at a time and end up in the lobby in no time flat. Throwing a glance towards the doorman, I give him a noticeable head nod in greeting, heeding Brittany's advice to at least acknowledge the man. The surprised look on his face morphs into a small smile and I grin back in response before jetting out the doors and into the chilly winter air. Moving my legs and drawing up a plan of action in my mind, I quickly spot a familiar diner and head over to the restaurant.
Having no time to waste, I quickly pull out a few bills and order a few cups of steaming hot coffee. I definitely need the insurance considering I have to get past the Chang's before I can reach the elusive Brittany Pierce. I smile wholeheartedly when I see the matronly waitress who I spoke to last time and I wave when I see her wink at me while serving a customer. Tapping my foot and looking at the clock on the far wall, I continue to fidget from all my pent up anxiety and look anxiously at the young server pouring out my drinks. I quickly grab the tray of coffee and throw down a large bill before rushing out and walking briskly to Chang studios.
Thanking fate that everything is within a walking distance from my home, I quickly sprint up to Brittany's workplace and heave out a huge breath in preparation for what is to come. Cautiously sticking my hand out, I pause a moment to collect my thoughts before trying to press the intercom button. Unable to come up with any kind of plan, I drop my hand instead, mulling over how to overcome the obstacles that is the Chang couple. Feeling a sharp poke in my back, I turn around to yell at the offender when nothing greets me but open space. What the hell?
"Hey! What are you doing here again?"
I look down and come face to face with the child from last week, bundled in winter gear and carrying a small backpack. Peering at the same annoying kid from before, I squint and take in the pink frilly tutu under her little bubble jacket, unsure of how to go about dealing with the small child.
"What are you deaf, lady? I said what are you doing here?"
"You got a smart mouth on you kid, didn't your parents teach you any better? By the way where are they?"
Looking around and catching no signs of adults, I look down again to the little girl shuffling her feet on the concrete steps, mumbling something soft under her breath. Puzzled about the sudden lack of answer and nervous behavior, I kneel down to the child's level and clear my throat to catch her attention.
"Where are your parents, kid? Didn't I see your mom pick you up last time from class?"
"Not my mom…"
"What was that?"
"That lady wasn't my mom, she's my nanny and she only picks me up after dance class. I come here by myself after school; it's not far so it's okay and I'm a big girl now."
"Oh…hey look what's your name kid?"
"Stephanie…what's your name lady?"
"Santana. Do you think you can do me a favor Stephanie?"
"I don't know…"
"You know Brittany talked about you Stephanie, she told me how well you were doing and how one day you're going to become a great dancer!"
"Miss Brittany said that?"
"Sure did."
"Well what else did she say?"
"I don't know, she's not really talking to me right now."
"Oh then you probably did something really bad because that's what happens when my mom is mad at daddy."
"Yeah…so can you help me out here Stephanie?"
"I guess…how come you don't ask Mr. Mike and Ms. Tina to help you?"
"Well they kind of know Brittany is mad at me so they won't let me see her, but I need to see her to apologize and that's where you come in. So will you help me?"
Holding out my hand to the little girl, I watch her think over my question, thumbing one of book bag's straps and gnawing on her bottom lip in thought. Throwing out my biggest 'Please help me, I'm innocent' look with a smile to boot; I plead silently with the little dancer in front of me. When my thighs and calves begin to cramp from squatting so long I drop a knee to the ground, lowering myself closer to the still silent girl. Giving it a few more seconds, I heave a sigh of disappointment until I hear the small voice in front of me.
"I don't know…if everyone's mad at you, why should I help you?"
"Please Stephanie?"
"What's in it for me?"
Staring at the little pipsqueak with her crossed arms and left foot out tapping quickly on the floor, I couldn't help but laugh and remember Brittany's past comment on the similarities in our personalities. Laughing and standing up quickly to dust off my pants, I take a moment to calm myself before looking down again and breaking out in deep laughter. Hearing an annoyed huff and deciding not to dig my hole any deeper, I fish around in my pants and pull out what I think might help.
"Alright kid, here's ten bucks, I'm going to give you five dollars now and as long as you help me see Brittany you'll get the other five at the end. Do we have a deal?"
"You got yourself a deal lady, now what do you need me to do?"
Nodding and shaking the little hand in front of me, I pass her the five dollar note and hash out my short plan to her eager ears. When I finish making sure she fully understands the plan and how to act, I breathe out a sigh of relief, maybe this time I can finally get in touch with Brittany. I tell the little girl it's go time and I get a small nod in agreement before I watch her walk up to the intercom and set her book bag down on the ground. Puzzled at her actions, I watch her unzip her bag and rummage around for a little.
"What are you doing there kid?"
"Looking for my ruler duh! How else do you think I can reach the button?"
Exasperated and already anxious enough, I reach forward and close up the book bag; deftly picking up the little girl instead and ignoring her small shouts of protest, lifting her up successfully to the intercom level and quickly telling her to just push the damn button already . The loud crackling sound of the intercom comes to life after I hear the initial buzz from Stephanie pushing the button.
"Dance with Chang Studios, how can I help you?"
"It's me Miss Tina, can you let me in?"
"Steph, honey is that you? Well come on in, class is about to start soon."
Mumbling out a quick 'Yes,' I quickly pick up the little girl's bag and sling it over my shoulder, foregoing the cups of coffee I carefully shift the girl to my left side and push the door open when I hear it buzz. Hugging the girl closer to my body, I take the stairs up, easily remembering the floor and door number to the dance studio. Right before putting the girl down, I make sure the coast is clear and the hallway to the front door is unoccupied. Gently placing the girl on the ground and bringing her book bag around, I help her pull it back on and get ready for her main performance.
"Alright kid, here's the hard part, I need you to pull girl Chang away from the front desk so I can sneak in and see Brittany, got it?"
"No sweat lady, I got this, I've been getting people to do what I want since I was six years old."
"How old are you now?"
"Seven."
"Right. Anyway, just keep her away long enough so I can sneak by and into one of the empty studios. Then all you have to do is bring Brittany to that room and the other five bucks is yours."
"I'm not a baby, I got this. Get Miss Tina away from the front until you get into a room and then ask Miss Brittany to go into that room later. What are you going to do when she gets there?"
"That's none of your business but don't worry, I'll make sure to apologize a lot. It's my fault in the first place and I was being stupid so now I have to own up to my mistakes."
"Well whatever, you grownups are weird. Just make sure to kiss and make up. Miss Brittany hasn't been too happy lately and it's probably because of you so that's why I'm helping you out."
"You sure it isn't because of the ten bucks?"
"Same thing. Now give me my money, we had a deal."
Satisfied that the little girl will be following the plan, I slip her the rest of the money and watch her stuff it into her jacket before heading towards the door. I yell out a quick 'Wait' before walking up to her and bending down, careful not to make too loud a noise on the squeaky waxed floor. Patting her head gently and tweaking her nose when I see her scrunch her face cutely, I whisper silently in the hallway to her.
"Thank you Stephanie and good luck."
"I don't need luck lady, I'm a pro."
And with that she turns the knob and sticks her tongue out at me before leaving it slightly ajar for me to hear everything that goes on inside. I listen outside for a few minutes, quietly cheering on my little dancer when I hear a chair shuffle backwards and a set of footsteps recede into the background. Holding my breath and waiting for a few seconds, I turn my head and peek through the door, hoping that the little munchkin held up her part of the deal. When I see that the coast is clear, I sprint inside and start looking through the various windows, eager to find an empty one but more than anxious to catch a glimpse of Brittany after having gone through days apart. Unfortunately I sneak upon an empty room without seeing the blonde first so I rip off a piece of paper from my journal to drop outside to let the little midget know which room I'm in.
Hurriedly bounding into the room and anxiously fidgeting near the door, I try to quell my rapid thoughts and think of what kind of conversations I can come up with when Brittany arrives. The random chatter of employees and students resound outside so I make sure to lock the door just in case anyone decides to use the room. When I hear the telltale voice of a small little girl and the woman I've been missing for days, I try to quickly fix my windblown hair and straighten out my clothes. I run to unlock the door and stand beside it, hoping that my presence won't be noticed until Brittany is all the way in the room first.
"Stephanie our classroom is that way, where are we going?"
"Come on Miss Brittany, I want to show you something. I made up this dance move but I don't want anyone else to see but you, I don't want them to laugh at me…"
"Oh honey, no one's going to laugh at you. Don't worry, if they do, I'll be sure to tell them that they're wrong. Now let's hurry, class starts in ten minutes and we can't be late okay?"
The door creaks open and I breathe in the scent of Brittany's fragrant lotion passing me by as she swings the door up next to my face. I try to still my body but my anxiety gets the best of me and I wring my hands nervously as I watch blonde hair pass by through the crack in the door.
"Alright lady, it's up to you now. I brought Miss Brittany like I promised."
"Stephanie who are you talking to? What is this all-"
Icy blue eyes pinpoint me as I quietly step out from behind the door to whisper a quiet 'Thanks' to the thumbs up I get from the kid. Closing and stepping in front of the door to at least block off any escape routes, I take in the beautiful body standing before me. Brittany is dressed in tights and a loose shirt, long strands of blonde hair peeking out from the messy bun atop her head. A small layer of makeup covers her face but I notice the darkening around her eyes and the frown now marring her face is different from her usual dazzling smile. Her bright blue eyes are what have me pinned to the spot, crystal clear and intense, a furious mix of hurt, sadness and betrayal.
"Brittany I-"
"What are you doing here Santana?"
"I came to see you…"
"Well I don't want to see you so you need to leave."
"Please Brittany just hear me out."
"I think I've heard enough. Actually you know what, I haven't. People seem to know more about you than me, your own girlfriend. I don't even know you anymore Santana."
"Britt please! I'm the same person as I was before, nothing has changed. I'm sorry you had to find out about me like that, I really am! I didn't mean to…I was just…there didn't seem to be a moment where I could tell you."
"You said you wouldn't lie to me…"
"And I didn't!"
"Keeping such a huge secret from me is the same thing as lying! How could you Santana? You made me look like a fool! Everybody must think I'm so stupid…"
"No! That's not how it is, please you have to believe me, I never thought it would get this far."
"What do you mean you never thought it was going to get this far? You knew from the beginning! You tricked me into thinking you needed my help, when all along you knew! Is that one of your suave moves or something? Miss big shot author, meeting girls at the checkout counter?"
"No! That was just a coincidence, I was embarrassed and-"
"You're embarrassed? Are you kidding me right now? Who was the one who had to spend countless hours calling in to win those gala tickets to meet you? Who was the last one to find out about your super-secret identity? You made me look like an idiot Santana!"
"I'm so sorry Brittany; I was going to tell you I swear!"
"When? On our first date? When you got sick and I took care of you? When I went to your friend's wedding rehearsal? When I told you I loved you? You must have thought you were so slick, with your fancy words and smooth moves. No wonder you're so good at making up excuses and keeping secrets, you're entire job requires you to do just that!"
Cringing a little after every heated jab, I continue our staring match, watching as a few tears slip out of Brittany's eyes and slide down her face. Every word from her mouth hits me like an arrow and I stagger a bit to the door behind me, trying to muster up the strength to say anything to the woman I love.
"Why did you do it Santana, why keep such a huge thing from me? Are you ashamed of me?"
"Brittany please…"
"Just tell me."
"The few relationships I've had before you turned out so horribly and I was afraid. They took advantage of my wealth, popularity and connections only to leave me high and dry. They used me Britt and all I ever wanted was someone to love me just for me. Not because I write books for a living and live in a nice condo, but for the fact that I act like a baby when I'm sick or that I'm sometimes a bitch."
"San…"
"Britt you have to know how much I love you. I would never be ashamed of you. I just never found the right time to tell you and then it just kept building up after that. You have to believe me."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why should I believe you Santana? You clearly had no trust in me to tell me that you're the infamous Sonata Alpzen, why should I trust you now? Everyone knew but me. Your friends, your colleagues, hell even Mike and Tina found out before me. What else are you hiding huh?"
"Nothing I swear!"
"How can I trust you after this when you can't even tell me about such a huge part of yourself?"
"I don't know. But you have to believe me when I say that I never meant for it to turn out this way."
"Well it did and now we're here."
"I'm really sorry Brittany. Please, I love you."
"I'm tired San and I don't know if I want to be a part of this relationship anymore if you're going to keep secrets like this from me…"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying I think it's time for you to leave, I'm late for my class already."
"Britt-"
The sound of the door opening startles us both as our eyes turn towards the person walking into the room. I watch as Mike Chang steps quickly to a tear stained Brittany only to turn his heated glance my way. I wither a bit when his light brown eyes sear into my own and I die a little as he pulls Brittany into his embrace and murmurs soothing words into her hair. Oh god what have I done? Mike levels his steely gaze back onto me, making me feel ten times smaller than I am.
"You need to leave."
"Please just let me speak to her one-"
"Now! You've done enough here Santana, you have about 10 seconds to leave or I will personally escort you out myself."
Turning towards the sniffing bundle that is Brittany, I silently urge her to look at me or at least acknowledge my presence in some way. Not willing to let this be our last parting, I begin to step forward towards the two when I'm shoved slightly back and I stumble backwards, tripping over my own feet and landing on the ground.
"Get out!"
"I'm not leaving until Brittany tells me to!"
I scream from my place on the floor, unwilling to just leave without trying to at least get Brittany to look at me. Keeping my distance steady, I glance towards Brittany over Mike's shoulder, pleading with her to just give me another chance. To give us another chance. My heart already aching from the emotional onslaught of watching Brittany cry, it almost comes to a complete stop when I hear her speak.
"I think its best you leave now Santana. Please don't come back…"
"Brittany…"
I feel someone pull me towards the door and I fight back only to have both Mike and Tina drag me out of the room together. My last glimpse of Brittany is of her turning her head and averting her gaze to the floor. I feel my heart shatter, coinciding with the slam of the front door to the studio. The echoing sound of heartbreak resonates within me and I stumble down the staircase and hit the streets sprinting. I keep running, with no specific aim but to just run, mindlessly replaying Brittany's face over and over, with each step forward I feel as if my chest would implode.
The blaring noise of the alarm wakes me up and I curse as I fall off a table and hit the floor hard, hurting my already sore back. Letting out a slew of choice words and curses in different languages, I curl up into a ball and lie still, hoping the pain will ease off a little. When the feeling of spikes in my back filters into a dull throb, I let loose a groan from the smell that permeates my body. Dear lord how much did I drink last night? Thankfully there are curtains covering the windows as I open my eyes and close them quickly again when the room begins spinning. Shit, am I still drunk?
Apparently the sprint around the neighborhood led me to a liquor warehouse and considering the situation and my state of emotions, I quickly bought a few bags of alcohol and had myself a party at home. One which I completely regret ever waking up from considering how my entire body hurts including my head which feels like it may fall off, I also stink like something even a sewer rat wouldn't eat. I crawl my way to the bathroom and sigh in relief when I hit the cold tiled floor, slightly alleviating me from my headache and bringing me closer to my intended destination, the toilet.
My body heaves and dry coughs every last ounce of liquor in my stomach before it finally lets up and I drop back to the ground. Feeling loads better and wanting to get the garbage smell off my body, I turn on the faucet in my tub and turn the shower on. Not even bothering to take my clothes off, I drag myself off the ground and into the tub, letting the warm spray of water wake me up. Not knowing how long I sat there for, I finally reach for the soap, eager to be clean and stink free.
Exiting the bathroom and feeling much better, I look at my disheveled apartment, complete with broken glass, empty bottles and ripped pages covering my floor. It looked like a drunken twister did a hit and run and basically threw up or broke things in my home. Not willing to deal with the mess now and fearing Quinn's wrath when she finds out, I begin my search for the ever elusive cellphone. Tearing up my apartment even more than necessary, I flip cushions, rifle through drawers and still come up short. When I finally find the damn thing, chilling out in my fridge, I discover that the battery is dead. I quickly plug it in, hoping beyond hope that Brittany might've called me after our meeting. What catches my attention instead is an array of missed calls, texts and voicemails from Quinn.
Foregoing the urge to call my manager, I send a quick text back answering her demands about my wellbeing and current location. The woman probably would've called the police if I didn't show up or respond within the day. Going through the texts and voicemails, I gradually feel worse and worse, apparently I missed out on the Berry-Fabray joint bachelorette party last night. Oh shit. Repeated calls from both the hobbit and Quinn have been near hysterical as they tried to reach me the night before. That only means one thing. Today is the last rehearsal dinner and according to the time, I'm already about four hours late. I quickly run through my medicine cabinet to pop the pain killers for my hangover and speed change into something presentable before booking it out of my place and into the streets.
Bursting through the doors of the venue I am greeted with dozens of people chatting, oblivious to my state of disarray as I look for the brides to apologize. I didn't get a return text or call from Quinn which meant that she must've been busy during the wedding rehearsal and hadn't had the time to check her phone. I look around, trying to spot a patch of short blonde hair when I am immediately grabbed and pulled into a women's restroom. What greets me is none other than the Berry-Fabray wedding planner in a sharp pant suit bearing down on me with her knowing eyes.
"You're late Ms. Lopez."
"Shit, yes I know Mercedes, I'm so sorry, I've been having a shit of a day and-"
"Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh! I don't want to hear it, you're late and Ms. Fabray has been going nuts trying to see if the news has reported a dead body in a ditch yet."
"Crap, my phone must've died last night and I didn't-"
"What's done is done. What you do on your own time is your business, but when you start messing with my clients and making one of them unable to function past a short brunch, then we have a problem. Now I'm going to do some damage control and let Ms. Fabray know you're here. You on the other hand are going to Ms. Berry to help with her vows."
"Wait, how come I can't go see Quinn? Why do I have to meet with Rachel?"
"Because you don't get a choice in whom you will be helping now after being so late. Nobody comes in late and gets away with it, not on my time. Now do we have a problem here Santana?"
"But I really don't-"
"I said do we have a problem here Ms. Lopez?"
"No ma'am."
Following the shrill sound of someone harmonizing behind a door, I tap rapidly and push through to see the hobbit in front of her vanity, looking at herself every which way in front of the mirror. Rolling my eyes and wondering what circle of hell I've landed in, I walk in and hold my hand up, stopping whatever nonsense Rachel was bound to say to my face.
"Before you even start Berry, I'm going to cut you off right there. I've had a bad day, my head hurts like a monkey's ass and I don't care what color or frill you need, just let me sit in peace. All I'm asking for is 5 minutes of silence. Can you do that? Nod if you understand me."
A subsequent nod lets me breathe out a sigh of relief and I head towards the nearest chair, dropping heavily into the cushioned sofa and throwing my feet up on the ottoman. I enjoy my nice quiet time knowing full well that the midget was just waiting for the right moment to ask all her annoying questions. Well at least I have my precious five minutes. Oh look at that my five minutes are already up.
"So where were you Santana?"
"Berry…"
"I mean you didn't have to come to our bachelorette party but you could've let us know you weren't coming. You know how Quinn gets when she doesn't know the who, what, when, where and whys of everything. You could've at least texted her last night, she was worried."
"Look I've had a shit day and a horrible week so far so excuse me for not joining you and your fiancé in your celebration."
"But Quinn's your best friend…"
Grumbling about how unfair life is, I crack out the kinks in my body before leaning forward and dropping my feet back to the ground and looking at Rachel. I close my eyes to push back another migraine and try to funnel some of that remorse through the ocean of pain back into my face.
"I'm sorry. It's just…things haven't been going so well for me lately and I didn't want to be a Debbie downer at your party. I know Quinn's upset and I'll sort it out with her later but I know I should apologize to you too. We've never been friends but you're about to marry one of the greatest people I've had the pleasure of knowing my entire life and I owe it to both of you to be the best bridesmaid I can be."
"Santana…"
"Don't repeat anything I've said to Quinn and we're solid. Now we cool?"
"Yeah Santana, we're cool. But just so you know, Quinn loves you too."
"Stop with your crazy talk woman. Now what do you need help with?"
We go through a range of make-up and random news regarding Berry's constant need to be on top of her plans when the door creaks open and I see Mercedes peek her head in. She smiles at me and I grin back when she makes an offhand comment about how glad she didn't have to break up a fight in the room. I walk over to her when she motions for me to follow and I pat Rachel's knee in a form of goodbye before getting up and leaving the room. Hearing quiet idle chatter around me, I take a look around, amazed at the turn of events and quick designing of all those involved in the Berry-Fabray wedding. The place looks absolutely beautiful with a pinch of class and grandeur all rolled into one to present an extravagant but dignified wedding.
"Ms. Fabray's been asking for you but I told her to wait and cool off a bit before I brought you over."
"Thanks Mercedes, she's probably still going to murder me though."
"Well look at it this way Santana, faster you get it over with, the less painful. Plus I really need her to refocus on the wedding so get in there and fix whatever you did wrong."
"Yes ma'am!"
"Don't get smart with me. I can easily switch you out and turn you into the greeter. Then you will have to meet and kiss everyone you meet on the cheeks with a smile. And yes, that includes Ms. Berry's distant great uncle who drools a little."
"Oh god Mr. Morowitz?"
"Yes. Now if you don't want him slobbering all over you then I suggest you talk to your friend or you better suit up to swim in some saliva. Capiche?"
Nodding my head and making sure the wedding planner won't go through with her threat, I open Quinn's door quickly and slap an apologetic face on as quick as possible. Holding my hands out and palms up, I slowly creep towards a surprised Quinn before giving her a timid smile when I see the scowl etch itself on her face. Oh well, here goes nothing.
"Sorry."
"That's all you're going to say to me Santana? Sorry?"
"I'm really really sorry Quinn. Forgive me?"
"Forgive you? I should have you strangled for the amount of stress you caused me last night! I thought you died or something! What the hell happened?"
"I went to see Brittany…"
"Oh shit, well what happened?"
"She told me to leave… I don't know what else to do Quinn. I couldn't handle it so I just kept drinking and when I finally woke up I found out I missed your party. I'm so sorry Q."
"Santana… why didn't you call me?"
"I didn't want to ruin your wedding with my sad mopey self. You have enough on your plate with Rachel and the wedding; you don't need to worry about me too."
"You're my oldest and closest friend, S. Of course I will worry about you, it's my job to look out for you remember? Broken hearts and all. What did Brittany say?"
"That she's tired of me and how she doesn't trust me anymore. What am I going to do Quinn?"
"Well as your manager I'm going to suggest that you let it go and that there's more pretty blonde fish in the sea. As your best friend I'm going to ask if you really and truly love her, do you?"
"More than all the words I've ever written in my entire life."
"Then here's what you have to do. Don't give up. I'm positive Brittany loves you equally as much if not more and I'm sure once she has a little time to herself, she'll come around and that's when you can try again. But this time, don't screw it up Lopez."
"I won't, I promise."
"Oh and Rachel's already sent out the wedding invitations so I'm pretty sure Brittany got one."
"Wait. Berry did what?"
"Here's your second chance Santana, when Brittany comes tomorrow, you know what to do."
"But what if she doesn't show?"
"She will Santana. Just try not to cause a scene, it is my wedding day."
"But how do you know for sure she's coming, Quinn?"
"Easy, because you're going to be there."
The music has already started and the overall atmosphere was abuzz in quiet murmurs and small twitters of children laughing. Apparently Berry outdid herself and ordered a special piano that played itself foregoing the need of a skilled human pianist. I look to my left and smile reassuringly as Quinn twitches and fidgets in her spot, throwing looks at the doors and the many friends and families sitting in the front few rows. The setting was beautiful with the thousands of flowers trailing the surrounding venue, the scenery reminiscent of an outdoor garden party. The only difference was the bride standing next to me and her various bridesmaids sectioned off on two sides.
Eager for the other bride to arrive, I quell my own anxiety as I search the crowd, trying to locate a splash of blonde and blue eyes. The disappointment when I finally see everyone seated and Mercedes closing the main doors cuts me in half like a butcher in a slaughter house. Brittany hasn't come. I try to hide the pain coursing through my body when I turn to face Quinn but the softness and pity I see in her eyes tell me my efforts are in vain. So I try to keep it together and give back my own sort of reassuring façade to placate the ever growing anxiety on Quinn's face. Today is her day; I can't ruin it no matter how I feel.
A loud creak sounds from the main door and the collective swish of people's body turning around catches my attention. Soft melodies float through the air and I feel a sharp tug on my side as I glance to my right to see Quinn grasping onto my dress. Smiling at how nervous my friend is, I discreetly pull her fingers off my dress and give a gentle squeeze before letting go in time to see Rachel being walked in. I think maybe dust or pollen from the many flowers flew into my eyes because they seem to be a bit watery as I watch Rachel Berry glide down the middle walkway with both her dads proudly walking her towards Quinn. The dress itself is exquisite, the white fabric dazzling and bejeweled to look like an expensive ball gown. A small train trails behind her, flowing along and capturing the small petals lying scattered on the ground giving Rachel the illusion of a nymph. So this must be why Quinn agreed to go through with this marriage.
Speaking of the woman, I glance up to Quinn and am horrified to meet the face of my sniffling and smiling manager. Oh my god did a branch hit Quinn Fabray in the eye or something, why in the world is she crying? Small streaks of tear stains mark her face and I think about all the time wasted in getting her make up done just right before the ceremony. The mess all over her face doesn't compare to the wide smile and happy chuckling on Berry's face as she approaches us and turns to give her dads each a kiss on the cheek before grabbing one of Quinn's hands. I look on in shock as Quinn continues to cry and has to be consoled and quietly spoken to by her soon to be wife. Wait, what is this world coming to when my hard ass manager is suddenly weepy at her own wedding?
The ceremony continues after someone passes Rachel a napkin to wipe off the smudge dripping down Quinn's face and I stand at attention when the vows begin. Tuning them out, I take a quick gander around, hoping against all odds that the woman I've been searching for all day is late but I come up short as all eyes are back on the now blissfully wedded couple. I yell out the congratulations to both Mrs. Berry-Fabray before clapping along with everyone else, hoping that their happiness lives on forever, even if I couldn't have mine.
The reception is a few blocks away so I take a minute to relax and rest my aching feet in one of the many lounges situated in the venue. I check the time before getting up in search of Mercedes and figuring out how to get to the reception hall. I see her directing people out the door so I step up and make myself known in her presence.
"Was I behaving myself well enough for you Ms. Jones?"
"Good enough to get yourself a nice ride to the reception but don't think I didn't see you stick out your leg when Ms. Rachel walked down the aisle."
"Whoa hold on! My leg was stiff from standing there all morning; you can't blame me for that!"
"I can and I will, now get your skinny butt in that black Lincoln over there or so help me I will make you walk over there in your heels."
"Totally not cool Jones…"
"My job is not to be cool. It's to make sure little spitfires like you don't mess up so I can get more customers next time."
Nudging the wedding planner playfully and hopping away from her retaliating hand, I wave to her before heading towards my designated ride. After the short ride I file in after the many patrons of the Berry-Fabray wedding, I walk into the reception hall turned dance floor as loud music blasts over huge speakers and wafts of delicious smelling foods float past me as I walk into the room. Quickly finding my seat near the wedding party, I glance around at all the happy and smiling faces, finding it harder and harder for myself to not let go and join in the boisterous laughter and fun. That and the amount of free flowing liquor definitely is a plus.
I almost miss my moment to shine when suddenly all eyes are on me sipping champagne and I turn to my neighbor to ask what everyone is staring at.
"Dude why is everyone looking over here?"
"Um I think it's your turn to congratulate the couple, maybe you should put down the glass first?"
Letting out a tiny hiccup and 'Oops,' I set down my glass and take a few seconds to collect myself and remember what I wanted to say to my friend and her wife. The microphone is pressed into my palm and I grasp it tightly to get a better hold of the situation.
"So yes, this wedding is awesome right? Everyone having a good time? Great, now on to the happily wedded couple. Quinn, congratulations to you and Berry, I'm sure the Shire is a fantastic place to have your honeymoon, just be sure not to take your wife to Isengard okay? Kidding there Q., no need to get all crazy. All jokes aside I really am happy for you and we should all be so lucky to find our partners and soul mates. I wish you guys the best in life and every bit of happiness in the world. No one deserves it more than you both. Cheers to Mrs. Berry-Fabray for showing us that true love exists."
Chugging down the cool glass of alcohol to wet my throat and return to my tipsy state, I sit down and pass the microphone down the line, already tuning out the next person talking about wedding bliss. Disgruntled when I finish my drink and seeing no waiter around, I get up to stalk over to the bar, squinting my eyes to better see where my destination is. Spotting the glimmer of various bottles and a neatly dressed bartender, I pick up my pace and immediately bump into someone, almost falling again if not for the strong arms keeping me upright.
"You shouldn't really drink this much Santana…"
"It's you…"
"I have a name San."
"Brittany, you're here."
"Well I was invited so of course I came."
"But I didn't see you at the wedding…"
"I had a class to teach during that time so I came for the reception instead. But I've already said my congratulations so I'm going to leave now."
"Wait!"
"Santana let's not do this here please…"
"Brittany just hear me out. I swear you can leave or do whatever you want after letting me explain myself."
Pleading with my eyes and my entire body, I watch Brittany's crystal blue eyes flicker in contemplation before nodding hesitantly at my request. A deep sigh leaves my body and I take a moment to shake out my nerves before looking back at the woman I love. Here goes nothing.
"Before you leave I just want you to know that whatever happens I need you to know that I love you. That I will always love you. I will never forgive myself for breaking your trust in me and if I had the chance I would go back and kick my own ass for being so stupid. What we had was so perfect and I am so incredibly in love with you that I couldn't bear the thought of ever hurting you in anyway. I just kept delaying the moment to tell you about my work because I didn't want you to think I was this different person. I just wanted to be the Santana you met at the grocery store, the nerdy and flustered woman who fell instantly for you. You fell in love with Santana Lopez, not Sonata and I would rather be plain Santana than the writer any day. I made up Sonata Alpzen to protect my personal life but since it's been more harm than help, I'd give it up in a heartbeat if you asked me to Britt. You are my life and if you'll have me, I'd make sure to spend my entire life being the Santana to your Brittany."
I take a deep breath of air, filling my lungs to the top after blurting out all the words I've been keeping in my heart and mind. Brittany's face has yet to change and I shuffle slightly in place to relieve some of the anxiety in my body. Her visage still hasn't changed and I wring my hands in worry, unsure if Brittany will leave me for the last time ever. The instruments of the live band begin to play and I flick my eyes in their direction to see Quinn dancing with Rachel for the first time, both clad in beautiful gowns and looking for all the world like they are floating on clouds. I snap my neck back to Brittany when I hear her utter my name softly under her breath.
"San…"
"Britt."
"I don't know what to say Santana."
"Say you'll give me a chance. Please give us another chance."
"I…"
"You?"
"I love you San."
"I love you too B. So very much."
"But…"
"Oh God there's a but!"
"But I need a bit of time, can you give me that much?"
"Yes, whatever you need Britt."
"All I'm asking for is 3 days. You can't call, text, email, come to my apartment or visit me at work. Those are my terms; do we have an agreement Santana Lopez?"
Shaking the outstretched hands in front of me, I make sure to show my determination to follow Brittany's rules. I hold on a little longer than necessary and am awarded a tiny smile from her lips before watching Brittany walk away, letting my eyes linger on her retreating figure when I see her suddenly turn around to give me a small wave which I enthusiastically return. I will not mess this up and I will definitely try to abide by Brittany's rules. Honestly I would do anything for her, even if she asked for the moon and the stars.
A/N: Oh wow that was a long time coming yes? Sorry about the wait. I know. I didn't abandon the stories so no need to worry, I just need to find time and energy to write it all out. Motivation was lost some time ago so I had to go about finding the will to write again. Thanks for my beta killercereal who had to repeatedly threaten me to finish and for skillyz...well you're just a distraction gurl. And not the good kind lol. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed/reviewed it and I will continue to write out this story till the end! Who is ready for that valentines day episode of glee?