A/N: Mother of god what is going on! What happened to the font?! Yeesh, you take a month to upload a new chapter and everything changes on you...
I am super sorry for how long this took. Writer's block. Short attention span. Shiny things. Not a good mix. Anyway, I hope what I've ended up producing is decent. And thank you to my lovely readers for doing what you do best. :')

Oh, also WHOA there's a dog! Did you guys see that dog?! I actually really enjoyed the episode, and I'm super excited for this season. Even though I'm a cat person myself, I guess I can deal with this "dog" thing, you know, as long as the episodes continue to be as funny. Don't expect me at add that mutt into any of my fanfics just yet, though...what did you guys think? :) I want to know!

"FOR THE LAST TIME!" Jorgen Von Strangle roared as he flung open the door of Fort Jorgen, garbed in nighttime attire of a bathrobe, curlers, and a green facial mask. "I AM NOT INTERESTED IN JOINING YOUR RELIGION!"

However, to the larger fairy's surprise, what stood in front of him was not a door-to-door zealot, but a familiar, sleepy-looking pink-hatted boy.

"I wasn't gonna ask you to," Timmy stated dully, wondering why Jorgen was wearing curlers when he didn't have curly hair...or barely any hair at all, for that matter.

"Timmy Turner?" Jorgen spoke incredulously. "What are you doing, visiting my home at such an inane hour in the morning? Why are you in Fairy World alone—where are your fairies?"

"Well, I kinda made a dumb move and accidentally let Cosmo go to Pixie World and leave me here. Poof is—with him," Timmy stated, quickly figuring it best not to get Jorgen involved in the whole 'the universe is doomed' thing just yet.

"Where's Wanda, then? Why isn't she supervising you two-and-a-half idiots?"

"Wanda isn't my fairy godmother anymore," Timmy said stressfully, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, that's right, the Buxaplenty kid bought her," Jorgen recalled, tapping his chin. "Well, what can I do for you, Turner? And why are Cosmo and Poof in Pixie World?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, they're there...to...look at the...stock market," Timmy fibbed awkwardly, saying the first businessy-related thing that came to his mind.

"Stock market, eh?" Jorgen raised an eyebrow. "Well, Turner, It's a rather odd time of the night to be checking the stock market, don't you think?"

"Uh, well, you know those stocks," Timmy shrugged, "Always...stocking...and...um...stacking at any given time."

"That is true," Jorgen nodded seriously, tapping his chin, "and it reminds me I should check if my stocks are stacking too. Very well, then, to Pixies Incorporated we go!"

Jorgen pulled out his wand from right behind the door and pounded it on the ground. With a giant POOF! cloud, the large fairy and the tiny boy quickly found themselves in the vast, grey, immensely boring land.

"Thanks, Jorgen," Timmy said, glancing around his new surroundings.

Jorgen, who was now in his regular army uniform sans the curlers and face mask, nodded. "Good luck with your stocks, Turner!" He exclaimed before running off in the opposite direction.

Timmy rolled his eyes at how easy that turned out to be. He then turned his attention back to the several tall buildings that surrounded him. He pondered for a moment, rubbing his chin as he walked down the street. "Alright, Cosmo's gotta be here some place," he said to himself, "the question is, which one of these buildings should I look in fir—oof!"

On cue, the boy collided directly with the green-haired fairy who had also been heading down the street.

"Cosmo!" Timmy exclaimed quickly standing back up from the ground, "Yeesh, that was a lot easier that I had initially set it out to be."

"Timmy!" Cosmo blinked in surprise, but then narrowed his eyes, "Oh, I mean, Timmy. How was looking around in Anti-Fairy World going for you, Timmy?"

"I never made it to Anti-Fairy World, Cosmo," Timmy rolled his eyes, "I don't have magic."

"Oh," Cosmo blinked. "Riiiiight. Wait, how'd you get here?"

"I tricked Jorgen," Timmy shrugged. "I'm pretty good at doing that, apparently...anyway, did'ja find Poof here yet?"

"Well, for your information!" Cosmo crossed his arms defiantly, but after a moment, dropped them sadly. "...no. He's nowhere here, I can't find him. And on top of that, my stocks just got stacked!"

"Aw, man," Timmy frowned, "Well, it's a good thing that you looked around here. I guess we should head to Anti-Fairy World, then?"

"I guess so," Cosmo agreed, raising his wand. "Just say the word!"

"Okay, I wish we were in—"

"Wait!" Cosmo exclaimed, lowering his wand and looking at it quizzically, "My wand is flashing."

"Uh..." Timmy blinked. "Don't tell me that's bad. Please don't tell me that's bad."

"No, it says that I have 2 missed calls," Cosmo explained, his wand suddenly transforming into a phone, "2 missed calls...from Wanda!"

"Wanda?!" Timmy exclaimed. "Wanda called you? Gosh dang it, Cosmo, why didn't you pick up?!"

"Excuuuuuuse me, my wand was on silent, okay!" Cosmo defended, crossing his arms, "it's like three in the morning if you haven't noticed, I didn't want to wake people up!"

Timmy rolled his eyes, "Well, did she leave a voicemail?"

Cosmo pressed a couple buttons on the phone, "No voicemail. Hey Timmy, you wanna see my wand wallpaper? It's a cat wearing a bow tie! Haha, cats don't wear bow ties!"

"Oh, man, what do you think happened?" Timmy frowned, pushing Cosmo's hand away from him. "Do you think she's alright? Do you think this is...this is Remy's ultra-super crazy evil plot? We—we have to go find her, Cosmo!"

"Right now?" Cosmo exclaimed. "But...but what about Poof and the universe and stuff?"

"Poof can put up a fight, he'll be fine, for a while, at least," Timmy asserted. "Besides, Cosmo, what's more important—the universe or Wanda?"

Cosmo blinked.

"Say the word, Timmy," the fairy raised his wand again with a determined smile.

Timmy nodded. "I wish we were back in Dimmsdale—at the Buxaplenty Mansion!"

With a flash, Timmy and Cosmo found themselves standing and floating, respectively, on the street in front of the colossal white mansion illuminated faintly by the security lights posted around the perimeter of the home.

Timmy blinked in surprise, glancing up at the night sky. "Whoa, it stopped raining while we were gone."

"Is that a sign?" Cosmo asked.

"A sign? You mean, like, an omen?"

"No, I mean, is that a sign," Cosmo pointed at a sign on the front gate that read 'NO TRESPASSING - VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED, POOR PEOPLE WILL BE EXECUTED.'

Timmy fretted. "Oh, man...they probably have guards and security cameras all over this place! How are we supposed to get in?"

"Um, Timmy," Cosmo waved his wand, "Magic, remember? Maaaagic!"

"Oh, yeah, good point. I wish we were inside Remy's mansion."

Cosmo's wand sparkled and poof!ed the two of them into a large, fancy corridor.

"Where are we?" Timmy asked.

"Inside the mansion, you idiot," Cosmo replied starkly, and then giggled after he said it. "Oh man, it really is fun calling people stupid. I understand why you used to do it to me all the time."

"I know we're in the mansion," Timmy glared at him, "I meant where in the mansion are we?"

"Uhhh...oh! Hey!" Cosmo exclaimed suddenly, pointing at a paper plastered upon one of the hallway walls. "A directory map! This blue star says 'You Are Here.' " He pointed.

Timmy blinked, squinting at the large map in front of him, bewildered both by the necessity of a directory map in a person's home and at how large and convoluted the mansion's floor plan was.

The boy began to run his finger along the map. "Ballroom, Parlor Room, Dining Room, Master Dining Room, Fancy Master Dining Room, Extra Fancy Master Dining Room...I can't find Remy's room anywhere on this map," Timmy frowned, dropping his hand in frustration. "Is it even marked on this thing?"

At this point, Cosmo was halfway down the hallway. "TIMMY!" The fairy shrieked.

Timmy looked up quickly. "Cosmo!" he called back incredulously, "You found Remy's room?"

"No!" Cosmo stuck his head out from a doorway down the hall. "I found the bathroom, though, and they have pure gold toilet paper!" He grinned and held up a roll for Timmy to see.

Timmy rolled his eyes, looked back at the map and sighed. "Man, going through all these rooms is gonna take forever—there are way too many doors to check every single one of them!"

"The toilet is made of pure gold, too!"

"Cosmo! Get back out here and help me!" Timmy exclaimed, but when the fairy did not return, he sighed and marched ahead down the hallway, flinging open doors as he went.

"And where exactly do you think you're going?"

Timmy blinked, as he was suddenly hoisted up into the air by a very large, muscular man in a security uniform. A second man in a matching uniform stood beside him, staring the boy down angrily.

"Oh, uh, hi," Timmy began, smiling nervously, "I'm, uh...the maid service?"

The security guards both glared at the boy, obviously not buying the excuse. Timmy gulped.

"Smell 'em up, Bruce," the security guard holding him instructed.

The second security guard stuck his nose out and took a long whiff of Timmy, and then scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Middle class, white collar spawn...public school."

"Does that mean we can execute him?"

"Ehhh, we'll have to ask the boss in the morning. He might not be poor enough to be executed," a grin formed on the security guard's face and he knocked Timmy's hat off, "but he is poor enough to be tortured."

"Wait! No! Let me go! Cosmooooooo!" Timmy shouted as the two security guards hauled him away.

"Timmy, you have to come look!" the green-haired fairy shouted cheerfully moments later, flying back out into the hallway, "there's this weird thing next to toilet that sprays water up from it and it's freaking me out! And it's also pure gold, by the way, but you probably could have deduced that from my earlier observations about the rest of the—wait, Timmy, where'd you go?"

Cosmo glanced around the hallway, the buck-toothed boy nowhere to be seen. "Timmy, where are you? Tiiiimmyyyy!"

When no response greeted him, Cosmo frowned. Then, as he spotted the pink hat on the floor, he gasped.

"Oh, no, Timmy!" Cosmo exclaimed, picking up the hat. "My newfound deduction skills lead me to believe you were taken by force when I wasn't looking! Why do toilets always have to deceive me!" He exclaimed, putting his arm to his forehead melodramatically.

When the fairy lowered his arm, he suddenly noticed a door at the end of the hallway that stood out from the others, mainly due to the large, wooden "R" hanging on the door.

Cosmo flew up to the door and tilted his head. "My deduction skills also lead me to believe this is Remy's room. Gee, deduction skills sure are useful."

The green-haired fairy shrugged, and opened the bedroom door.

Upon doing so, he was immediately pinned to the back of the door with a large samurai sword at his neck.

"Come any closer, you measly peasant, and I'll slice your head off!" Remy snarled, holding Cosmo against the door, wielding the sword himself.

"Oh, good, you're the big-nosed kid that Timmy doesn't like!" Cosmo exclaimed with a grin, all danger of the situation meaning nothing to him. "I found you!"

The blond-haired, pajama-garbed boy blinked, slowly recognizing who the intruder in his room was. He backed away and lowered the sword with some confusion. "Oh. H-hello," he began with some reservation, "Um. Why are you in my bedroom?"

With the shake of a maraca and a poof!, a mud-masked Juandissimo appeared in the room. "Qué diablos, Remy, why are you screaming and disturbing me from my beauty sleep at this unspeakable hour?"

Less than a second after Juandissimo, Wanda appeared in her own night attire and lifted her sleeping mask. "Remy? Are you alri—"

"Wanda!" Cosmo shrieked.

Wanda gasped. "Cosmo!" she responded, the two of them quickly colliding in an embrace.

"You're not dead!" Cosmo stated excitedly.

"How could I be dead?" Wanda questioned amusedly. She suddenly grew dead serious and pulled away from him. "...please tell me Timmy and Poof aren't dead."

"No!" Cosmo laughed, but then frowned. "Err, well, uh...not exactly."

"Cosmo!" Wanda's eyes widened and she balled her fists.

"Okay, Timmy was with me when I got in this place," Cosmo stated quickly, holding up his pink hat for her to see. "But I don't know what happened to him, he just disappeared. I mean, he was next to me one second, and then poof! he was gone. Haha, kinda like we do, y'know, with our wands? Like the thing that we named our son after? Yeah, like that, but not really, because, actually that's the thing he was just telling me he couldn't do, so in a way it's kind of ironic that he just—wait...wait a minute. Have you been eating beef jerky?"

Wanda blinked, growing flabbergasted. "...not...recently?"

"Oh! Thank goodness!" Cosmo hugged her tightly again. "It's not too late!"

"Wait, you came here with Turner?" Remy spoke, causing the two to look down at him. "Perhaps...perhaps he has been caught by one of the guards," he pointed out.

"Does anybody else realize it is four in the morning?" Juandissimo asked, rubbing his head with disorient.

"Put a sock in it, pretty boy!" Cosmo suddenly snapped, pointing down the mud-faced fairy dauntingly. "You may think I'm stupid, but I think your jig is up!"

"You think?" Juandissimo and Wanda both spoke in surprise at the idea of him doing such a thing.

"Oh, yeah," Cosmo waved his hand dismissively, "It's this new thing I do, I'll tell you about it later. Before I do that, though, we should probably find Timmy."

Wanda nodded. She looked back over at Remy. "Remy, do you really think one of the guards captured Timmy?"

"Well, if Timmy was with him when they got here, then it's probably a good theory to start on." Remy replied. Then he tapped his chin thoughtfully. "And it's probably best we check them first to make sure they haven't killed him yet."

"Killed him?!"

Remy shook his head. "Don't worry, they probably haven't. Turner never seemed less than average income. I'm sure they haven't killed him yet. Although knowing Bruce, he really likes to torture some of them..."

"What?! They're torturing Timmy?!" Wanda exclaimed.

"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself!"

Timmy winced. "This seems like a cruel and very unusual punishment."

The other guard watched half-heartedly as the first guard had grabbed Timmy's arm and proceeded to make him slap himself repeatedly. He took a bite of a donut and shrugged. "This is what ya get for sneakin' around in someone else's house, buddy."

Timmy scrunched his face, now ignoring the constant slapping. "You can't do this! You have no right hold me up here forever, I'm just a kid!"

"Yeah, yeah," the guard rolled his eyes, "The reality is, whether you like it or not, we're keepin' you here until the boss tells us what to do with you."

At that precise moment, the doors of the Buxaplenty Dungeon were flung open by the prestigious, pajama-clad blond boy himself. "Carter and Bruce!" he demanded, "I order you to cease your punishing of this boy at once!"

The two guards took a lazy glance at the boy in the doorway, and then exchanged a glance with confusion.

"Who's that kid?" the guard eating the donut asked the other one. "And how does he know our names?"

"Oh, I think that's the boss's kid," the other guard replied.

"The boss has a kid?"

"Yeah, uhh, I think his name is Raymond, or something."

"My name is Remy," Remy stated bitterly. "But never mind. You've made a mistake in capturing him and I demand you to release them at once."

The guard swallowed his donut and scoffed. "Ehh, I don't know, Roger. Technically we're not supposed to take orders from anyone other than your—"

Remy held up a giant wad of cash and waved it at the two guards expectantly. The two guards' eyes widened, and they immediately dropped Timmy on the floor and ran over to Remy, panting excitedly like a pair of dogs.

Remy tossed the money disinterestedly over his shoulder, and the two guards went barking and chasing after it on all fours. As soon as the coast was clear, Remy turned and stepped forward to the brown-haired boy that sat on the stone floor of the room and offered his hand to him. "Are you alright, Timmy?"

Timmy was immediately repulsed by his hand and he shirked away from it, managing to push himself back onto his feet by himself, his eyes narrowed in anger. "Don't humor me, Buxaplenty! Where is Wanda?"

With a corresponding poof! the three fairies all appeared above the two boys—Juandissimo now sans the mud-mask and Wanda sans her sleeping mask.

"I'm right here, sport!" Wanda exclaimed, rushing over to his side.

"Wanda!" Timmy exclaimed, his spirits immediately lifted as she pulled him into a hug. "You're alright!"

"I'm fine!" Wanda replied earnestly. "I've missed both of you so much, but I have to wonder—why in the world did you pick such an early hour to come see me?"

"That is exactly what I have been asking!" Juandissimo threw up his arms, more cranky about losing his beauty sleep than anything else. He poof!ed up a mirror and held it to his face in worry, tracing his fingers underneath his eyes. "Dios mios! The dark circles, they are already taking shape!"

"We're really sorry we didn't come to see you sooner," Timmy admitted, bowing his head. "We just kinda got...distracted, I guess. We came as soon as we found out you called Cosmo."

"I did?" Wanda blinked. "Oh, yeah, I did." She turned to look at Cosmo incredulously. "And you didn't answer!"

"You called at one in the morning!" Cosmo held up his hands. "I was sleeping!"

"You were sleeping?" Timmy blinked. "I thought you were looking in Pixie World!"

Cosmo blinked. "Oh, yeah, about that," the fairy started to play with his tie nervously, "Well, um, I was, for a little while, but then I got kinda tired...you know, for a really boring species, the pixies have some really nice room service in their hotels."

"Cosmo!" Timmy slapped his forehead. "Okay, if you were in a hotel, how we manage to find each other on the street at three-thirty in the morning?"

"Well, I didn't sleep for that long. I had to wake up to check if my stocks were stacking!"

"Alright, wait a minute!" Wanda held up her hands. "Why were you two hanging out in Pixie World so late at night? You two better tell me everything you did over the past two weeks while I've been gone. And while I appreciate your haste in coming to see me, how could you two have been so careless to leave Poof sleeping at home alone?"

Timmy and Cosmo's eyes both widened and they blinked.

Wanda raised an eyebrow at the lack of response she received. "Poof is at home sleeping, like he should be, right? Right?"

Timmy scratched the back of his head contemplatively while Cosmo resumed to fidgeting with his tie.

"Timmy, Cosmo," Wanda snarled, "where's Poof?"

"Poof? Oh, Poof, aha, you see, about Poof," Timmy cleared his throat, a nervous and sheepish smile forming on his face as he continued, "It's kind of a funny story..."

"Funny as in 'ha-ha' funny, or 'I'm-going-to-strangle-you-both' funny?"

"Uhhh...I would...I would say, probably a...a mixture of the two."

"Where's Poof?!" Wanda demanded. "What did you do with my baby?!"

"Well, technically we didn't do anything with him, it's HP and Anti-Cosmo's fault," Cosmo pointed out.

"HP AND ANTI-COSMO?!"

"Cosmo, you are not helping," Timmy stated flatly. "Right now is a really not a good time to act stupid."

"I can't control me! It's like ever since I've entered this house my intelligence has kinda been fading, though," Cosmo admitted with a shrug.

"Both of you shut it!" Wanda pushed Timmy and Cosmo both against the wall in one swift move. "Now TELL ME, in NO uncertain details: Where. Is. Poof?"

"Haha, you say no uncertain details," Cosmo held up his finger, "but it's funny because we have no certain details."

Timmy facepalmed. "Yeah, your intelligence really is fading."

Wanda, at this point, was seething with so much rage, her pink eyes began to glower a distinct shade of red. "WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?"

"Okay, okay, Wanda," Timmy held up both of his hands quickly. "We'll tell you the whole story."

"But before we do, you have to promise you won't get mad!" Cosmo said quickly. "Oh, wait, is it too late for me to say that?"

And with that, (and Timmy's quick move to keep Wanda from smacking Cosmo upside the face), the duo began to explain the entire story to her from the beginning—all of the video games, cheese puffs, bouts of intelligence, world blower-uppers and kidnappings—everything, leaving nothing to hide.

"...so, in short, Anti-Cosmo and HP are planning to blow up the Earth and enslave Fairy World," Timmy finished. "and that leads us to where we are today."

"The universe is doomed!" Cosmo added, sardonically cheerful.

Timmy rolled his eyes. While the boy had been explaining the entire story to her, Wanda's expression went from one of seething rage to a less harsh facial expression, one that harbored some incredulity.

"So, let me get this straight." she folded her arms sternly, speaking through gritted teeth, "You two made...a planet-detonating machine, did the most destructive thing you could do and doomed the entire human and fairy race just to get me back?"

Timmy and Cosmo nodded, hesitantly, in agreement with her statement.

Wanda blinked. She dropped her arms and her facial expression softened greatly and a bashful smile formed on her face. "Awww, you guys...I think that is one of the sweetest...and definitely the STUPIDEST thing you two have ever done for me! Which is a new record..."

Timmy and Cosmo both exhaled a breath of relief and smiled. "Yeah, we figured it was par for the course," Timmy stated with a shrug.

"Well, that was enlightening," Remy spoke up drawly, stepping out from behind Wanda.

Hearing the rich boy's voice made Timmy cringe as he one again recalled what he was doing there in the first place. "Get lost, Buxaplenty!" he hissed at the boy approaching him.

Remy revolted only slightly. "You didn't let me finish. I was going to state how enlightening it is that you would risk so much just to get my fairy godmother back."

"My fairy godmother," Timmy retorted. "She was never yours."

A second of unsureness twitched across Remy's face, before he promptly turned to give Wanda a hesitant look.

Wanda caught his eye and gave him a sympathetic glance, before looking back at Timmy. "Timmy, I think you should give Remy a chance to speak."

"Wanda, he kidnapped you," Timmy stated. "He shouldn't be given a chance to do anything."

"Timmy..." Wanda shook her head.

'"Alright, WHAT?" Timmy snapped in annoyance, turning back to face the blond-haired boy. "What do you want to say to me, Remy? What is so gosh darn important?"

Remy narrowed his eyes for a moment and, with a wince, exhaled softly. "I'd just like to tell you, first of all, Timmy...I would like to apologize."

"Well we'll see about tha—" Timmy blinked. "Wait...what?"

"I think I owe you many apologies, actually," Remy continued, "for the way I've treated you in the past and...for this shenanigan as well...everything. I want you to know that I am truly, and genuinely sorry for all of the things I've ever done to you."

For a moment, Timmy looked surprised. Then, just as quickly, he snorted, almost bursting out into laughter. "Yeah, no. Give me a break! I come up with some not-well-thought-out ideas sometimes, Remy, but I'm not that stupid. What makes you think that I'd ever trust you again?"

Remy bit his lip, a poignant expression coming over his face. He then backed down, for he had no reply, and lowered his head.

"Trust him, Timmy," Wanda then piped up, causing Remy to raise his head and look back at the female fairy, who looked at him kindly. The blond boy smiled.

Timmy scoffed. "Wanda?! Are you kidding me? This kid? After all of the things he's put us through? After he took you? You can't be seriously—"

"Just trust him."

"I'm not gonna—"

"Timmy."

Timmy grew dubious, and looked from Wanda's stern glance back to Remy's hopeful—yet, to the pink-hatted boy, still too deceiving—eyes. He narrowed his own eyes in annoyance, but when Wanda didn't say anything more, he knew that she wasn't joking.

"Fine," Timmy finally said, although in a terse, forced way. "Whatever. I...forgive you, I guess."

Remy's face immediately lit up, along with an approving glance from Wanda. Timmy gave Wanda yet another incredulous look, tacitly asking why she would ever have told him to do such a thing, but the female fairy had swiftly changed gears back to the other very important matter they had to assess.

"Now that that's settled, I think we have a very important mission to undertake," Wanda then stated. "And that is—rescuing my baby!"

"Right, sounds like a good idea," Timmy stated.

"Right," Remy also agreed, which made Timmy scowl at him.

"You're not gonna help us, are you?" Timmy asked.

"Of course I will," Remy replied, his eyes taken over by confusion. "That's what people do for each other, right?"

"Yeah, alright," Timmy said, but he still wasn't completely convinced. "Whatever. We better stop wasting time and all go find Poof!"

"Hooray!" Cosmo exclaimed. "Reuniiiited and it feels so goood!"

Timmy rolled his eyes, while Remy clapped his hands loudly. "Juandissimo!" the blond boy beckoned, "Wake up!"

Juandissimo lifted his head with a start, having fallen asleep in midair. "Qué?! Huh—what—what are you all doing in my bedroom?!"

"May I suggest we head to Anti-Fairy World?" Remy leaned back to Timmy, ignoring Juandissimo's disoriented response.

Timmy nodded. "Let's head to Anti-Fairy World!"