Really glad you enjoyed the last chapter, here's some more! Thanks for reading and especially to all those who took the time to review :)

Half an hour later Craig was still ensconced on Nancy's couch, having been gently prodded and probed until bit by bit he had provided her with a sparse account of his and John Paul's saga from the very beginning.

It hadn't been easy on either of them. Craig, not wanting to break down again, relayed the story in an almost detached fashion, trying desperately not to reconnect with the raw emotions he felt at the time. The more intimate the moment he recounted, the more distant he found the narrative becoming.

Nancy on the other hand was forced to exercise her greatest self restraint throughout.

Some of what she heard made her want to scream at Craig, hit him, punish him for what he had done. For all the lies he had told her, for the pain he caused, for his selfishness and cowardice, for the web of deceit he had cast and forced all of his friends to live through. And above all for the months of betrayal he had subjected Sarah to.

But she held it back. No doubt there would be a time for such recriminations in the future, but she knew this wasn't it. Something in Craig's tortured face as he spoke made it impossible for her to add to his suffering and there was as remoteness in his eyes that suggested he wouldn't even hear her if she did. His mind, his heart, his whole self was somewhere else; somewhere where he could dwell on all the details he had left out to Nancy, the details that had defined them.

And as she regarded him now all she could feel was pity.

'You must be exhausted. You can stay here tonight if you like.'

He glanced up but it was almost as though he hadn't heard her. 'You know I've never told anyone all that before.'

'Nobody in Dublin even?' she asked gently

He shook his head 'Not really. I've sort of talked about it in the abstract. But it was different, they didn't understand. They didn't know John Paul'

'It must have been hard.'

'I guess.' He shrugged 'I mean, it was but I never really looked at it like that. It was my punishment you know? I deserved to feel like that.'

Nancy's eyes softened 'Craig we all make mistakes. We don't have to pay for them forever.'

'It all sounds different when I say it out loud.' He mused 'I never realised…it's like seeing it through someone else's eyes. I'm looking down and I can see me and John Paul standing there and we're just mates and we're laughing and joking and I look in my eyes and I can see it, I can see that I'm falling in love with him. But at the time I had no idea.'

'Or I see us all out and I'm with Sarah and she's all over me, kissing me and holding my hand and I look in John Paul's face and I get it. I finally see it and it kills me because at the time I just didn't really understand.'

Craig suddenly looked up, as if he'd just realised where he was 'Sorry Nance' he muttered 'I didn't mean to…'

'Craig it's ok'

'No it's not, I don't want you to think I want sympathy or anything.'

Nancy smiled 'I don't think that, but if it makes you feel better I promise not to give you any. To be honest I'm just glad I finally know.'

'Yeah?'

She nodded 'It all makes the mysterious mind of John Paul McQueen seem far more comprehensible. Besides, I don't like secrets'

As if the mention of John Paul's name had somehow reawakened him, Craig's eyes suddenly came rushing back to the present and he got up agitatedly from his seat. 'I need to go and talk to him.'

'John Paul?' Nancy looked confused 'Now?'

'I have to see him. I need to apologise, to explain.'

'Craig it's nearly 3 o'clock in the morning' she reasoned softly 'Why don't you just stay here tonight then see him tomorrow?'

'Nance I'm not going to be able to sleep until I talk to him.' He predicted her next objection and cut in before she could raise it 'He'll still be awake too.'

'How do you know?'

He gave a small shrug 'I just do.'

Sense told her to dispute it, but after everything she'd heard tonight it suddenly didn't seem so far fetched that Craig should know his friend down to the detail of his sleep patterns.

'Just be gentle with him yeah?'

Craig nodded and made his way to the front door 'Oh and Nancy, thank you.'

'What for?'

'Everything. For listening, for not judging, for the paracetemol…' he gave her a cautious smile 'For not punching me like I know you want to.'

Nancy laughed gently as she narrowed her eyes 'Plenty of time for that Dean. Plenty of time.'

Craig's prediction that he was not yet asleep had been right and in the same way John Paul's hunch that he might yet be seeing Craig that night was proved correct, but it didn't make him feel any more prepared for it. Indeed Craig had even text on his way over to warn of his visit but it didn't stop the younger boy starting slightly as the soft knock sounded from his front door.

They stared at each other momentarily as the door swung open.

'You sobered up then?' It wasn't the opener that John Paul had planned but it was the only inspiration his suddenly tired mind could come up with.

'Yeah. Nancy she gave me this…'

'Bread and honey?'

Craig's tense face broke into a smile 'How did you know?'

'She swears by the stuff. Practically forces it down my throat after every time we go out at college.' John Paul gave a sceptical laugh 'Don't know that it does much good mind, still feel rough as hell in the morning.'

Silence fell between the two as their stilted small talk came to a grinding halt and the inevitable tension from the evening's events saturated the air. John Paul leant heavily on the sofa as he braced himself for Craig's words that he knew would eventually break the quiet. It needed to be him, they both knew that, he had gotten them into this mess.

'You know I was trying to think of what to say all the way over here. I had a great speech prepared and everything.'

'Yeah? How did that go?'

Craig laughed nervously 'Can't remember a word of it.'

He watched John Paul's face carefully, glad to see that after a year he could still read it like a book. Less happy however to see that the current mood was frustration; liable at any second to turn to anger.

'Sorry.' He began 'I'm sorry for tonight…That was the gist of the speech anyway.' Craig trailed off to a mutter as John Paul made no moves to respond.

'I had no right to do what I did…' he wrung his hands in distracted agitation 'To put you in that position. I just left, and some of the things I did…I know that they were unforgivable. For all I know you have a boyfriend, and I can't just waltz back into your life and expect for things…for us…to be the same as they were. I know it's not that easy.' Coming abruptly to a halt he fell back onto the arm of a chair and rested his head into his hand.

'I don't.' John Paul broke the silence as his eyes lifted finally and met Craig's confused gaze. 'Have a boyfriend, that is.'

Craig's relived smile at this was short lived.

'But it doesn't make the rest of what you said any less true.' He spat. 'Have you any idea what this year was like for me?'

Craig shook his head 'I'm sorry' he whispered.

'Yeah so you said.' John Paul's voice was quiet but trembling with anger 'But whilst you ran away from here to find yourself, away from me, away from the all memories. I was stuck, in what was supposed to be one of the most exciting years of my life, having to pretend to everyone that I was fine because nobody even knew that I'd just had my heart ripped out and stamped on by the boy who swore he loved me.'

Craig's eyes filled with tears of exhaustion 'It didn't work you know, running away. All the memories, all the feelings, they were still there. You were still there.'

'Oh well I didn't realise, I'm so sorry Craig. God, that must have been so hard for you.' John Paul's whole body shook with suppressed emotion as he squared up to Craig's cowering form.

'You know I didn't mean it like that.' he murmured gently. 'I understand if you hate me, believe me I've probably hated myself more… But I can't change the past. Much as I might want to'

John Paul slumped backwards as all the anger suddenly seemed to drain out of him and he could do no more than stand and stare as Craig grasped desperately at words to try and explain himself.

'As for tonight…' Craig's pleading eyes boring into the boy before him 'It was just seeing you again, being so close to you, having everything I've dreamt of this past year right in front of me…I couldn't handle it. I never meant to hurt you John Paul.'

Exasperated by John Paul's stoic stance, Craig got up and his voice rose in frustration as he raked his hand viciously through his hair. 'Don't you think that if I could've stayed way I would have?' he demanded 'Don't you even want to know why I've come back?'

A tear trickled down his flushed cheek as John Paul nodded slowly 'Course I do. But I…I can't…I can't do this now' he stammered 'I'm so tired Craig…it's too much.'

Craig reached out towards him and silently brushed a tear from his face.

'It's late, I should get home.' He turned and started towards the door before a trembling voice from behind stopped him at the last second.

'Wait, don't go.'

Craig span around and gazed into the pleading eyes that were now barely a metre from him.

'Don't leave. Stay with me, please.' His voice was scarcely a whisper. 'I'm not pretending everything's fine, I just need you here'

'Are you sure?'

John Paul nodded 'We can just…sleep.'

Craig smiled and laced their fingers together as the younger boy led them gingerly upstairs.

John Paul shut his bedroom door quietly behind them and the boys shared a moment of awkwardness as they shyly stripped to their underwear and crawled under the covers. Craig's heart was pounding as he lay in total darkness, separated from John Paul by several inches of cold empty bed and seemingly paralysed to close the gap. Seconds later however he felt a tentative hand snake around his waist and pull him gently backwards. He exhaled heavily as he took hold of John Paul's trembling hands and brought them close together until their whole bodies were wrapped up in each other and they melted slowly into their sleeping position of old.