There's almost no need for an introduction to this chapter. I just want to thank all reviewers (especially Big Cliffy Meanie1, ManzanaSilla, and sexehbunneh) and hope that you all enjoy this chapter. Feedback and comments are much obliged. Thank you all and enjoy the story :)

Chapter. 10 Shut Up

TJ turned over from his pillow and saw his best friend Spinelli sitting on the window-sil. She was wearing her hair in a ponytail (whichever way she wore it was cute), a green tank top, and tight denim shorts that went slightly above her thighs.

"Spinelli? What're you doin here? How'd you get up to the roof?" TJ asked completely puzzled.

Spinelli gave a small smile and jumped down from the window into his room.

"I knocked but no one answered. So I climbed up."

"Wait how'd you climb up?" asked TJ still puzzled.

"Your dad never put that ladder on the side of your house in the garage." she replied with a sly smile that for some reason, reminded TJ of himself in a way.

She sat down on his trunk and stared at him intently.

"You still didn't answer my other question" said TJ sitting up now from his bed.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." she said innocently.

"How did you find out?" said TJ cutting through the small talk leading to the main issue.

Spinelli shifted uncomfortably, "I ran into Gus and Mikey. They told me everything."

"I'll KILL them!" began TJ hotly.

"Relax Teej," said Spinelli alarmed. "They're friends, they only told me. They're concerned for you just like I am."

TJ frowned grumpily. "I don't need anyone's sympathy or pity, but thanks anyway." He lay back down on his head.

"TJ don't do this." said Spinelli strongly. She got up and sat on his bed.

"I'm so sorry about Shelly. But to be fair she had a reputation for being..well a slut. You can find someone so much better, someone that deserves you."

TJ took in these words and suddenly laughed at the irony. He sat up again and faced Spinelli.

"What?" she asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Oh nothing" replied TJ still chuckling. "It's just that you say these words to me when you're in no position to tell me how to feel or act."

Spinelli looked clueless. "What do you mean?"

"Well it's just here I am, hurting in ways you can't imagine. You come in here, uninvited and tell me that Shelly was a mistake when you've made twice as many as I have."

"I didn't come here to be critical." said Spinelli in her defense. "I came here to make you feel better."

"Whatever you came for I didn't need it." said TJ rudely.

"What the fuck TJ?" Spinelli said angrily now. "When did my best friend turn into such an asshole?"

"Right when my best friend turned into a cock-sucking slob" shot TJ back.

He immediately regretted these words, not the least because they were hurtful but it earned him a hard smack to the mouth.

He reached up and felt his face then looked at Spinelli who looked angrier than TJ had even seen her, but there was hurt behind those soft, dark eyes.

"Don't forget who you're talking to here." she said with a hard look. "I'm not someone who's gonna take that lightly and you know it."

TJ looked down. "I'm sorry" he said quietly.

"That's not gonna cut it TJ!" she yelled now. "I came over here from the kindness of my heart to cheer you up and all you do is turn me away?"

"Do you know how badly I'm hurting right now!" TJ shouted back. "Do you have any idea what I'm going through?"

"Yes I do actually. Don't pretend you even care about Shelly. She's just another trophy in the long list of your bimbo's!"

"HA!" laughed TJ. "And back we come to the issue. I'm not hurting? What about you? Throwing yourself at every guy that calls you beautiful or sexy or might be important enough to make you popular?"

"TJ..."

"Always down on your fucking knees and I gotta be there to pick you back up!"

"TJ that night you helped me, I will never forget that. It was my fault I know, Derek was a dick and I shouldn'tve gone out with him. But I was confused and insecure. I didn't really know what I wanted."

So what? He was a trophy wasn't he? (to use the phrase) You can't even say you cared about any guy you've ever laid your eyes on"

Spinelli's expression changed to fury. She clenched her fists and said through clenched teeth, "That's not true and you know it."

"Oh yeah? Name one guy in this town you actually give two shits about." said TJ.

"YOU!" she screamed.

TJ stopped, stood up from his bed and stared. "What?"

"You heard me TJ. I love you! Since the first grade! At least I can say that for myself, how about you? What respect do you give to girls?"

Spinelli stared at him hard, but tears were forming from her eyes.

"I love you TJ. What happened to that kind, sweet, adorable boy I met in Kindergarten? Huh? In all our years of friendship, you never once made me cry. Are you happy with yourself? Do you feel like a man?" The tears were falling now from her eyes on to her soft cheeks.

TJ didn't say anything. He simply looked at his best friend, his crush, the most beautiful girl he had ever known. She was crying and it was all his fault.

He knew he had to say something, he had to make up for his mistake. But this mistake turned out to be his biggest one, it was not one to be patched up right away. "Spinelli, I..."

"TJ will you just shut up" said Spinelli unable to hold back her tears any longer. She buried her face into her hands, her makeup running now.

"Go" she said. "I don't wanna have to look at you anymore."

TJ wanted to apologize. He wanted to get down on the ground for his selfish error, to tell Spinelli he felt the exact same way, to tell her she was the most beautiful girl in the entire world. But he didn't. He grabbed his car keys, and his wallet, put on his shoes and jacket and headed out the door without looking back.

It was odd that she ordered him out of his own house, but TJ wasn't concerned with that at the moment. As far as he was concerned he deserved to die, to burn in hell for his actions today. He just couldn't do anything right.

He headed outside to his jeep, and pulled out a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lit it. But for some reason, he didn't wanna smoke, he resolved never again to burn his lungs with tobacco. He threw the stogey on the ground and stomped it on the ground.

If I had my way he thought. I would have it back to the way it was in fourth grade. Back when all we cared about was kickball, candy, and pranks. Spinelli would wear her boots again, and I...I wouldn't lie, I wouldn't sin like I have these past few years. I would be the kind, caring guy I once was. Is it too late to be that guy?

He now realized high school had changed him into something he wasn't. How could he have let that happen? He had promised himself, to everyone that he wouldn't change for the world. He remembered that day in 7th grade when he had told Spinelli that.

Flashback

"I wouldn't trade you for anything

At that moment TJ couldn't take it anymore. He chucked his pack of cigarettes, got into the jeep, started it and drove away. His own tears falling from his cheeks into his lap and onto the dirty carpet floor.

Shut the fuck up she said

I'm going fucking deaf I wanna move out, I wanna move out

Now that all my friends left, this place is fucking dead

I wanna move out, I wanna move out

This shit has gotta stop

Cuz I'm not coming home, I'm never going to come back home

I'll run away

Sad right? Don't worry people, this isn't a tragedy and remedies will be made. But that's all I will say cuz I wanna keep you folks guessing. This was probably the hardest chapter to write because of the emotion and sadness put into it, it nearly made me cry myself. But it was necessary. Please review and comment.

Thanks and rock on- Punkrocka23