Oh my goodness...I've been gone a super long time...more on why at the bottom lol

Disclaimer: I don't own this

"Are you shitting me right now? This has been going on for how long?" Skye was pissed.

"About two months," Coulson responded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Coulson's eyes searched May's. His expression said something along the lines of 'help'.

"You weren't ready. But now you are," May put it simply.

Skye exhale. "Okay, so let's recap. Vault C is being used as an active field map and operations room. You happen to know, and care, about where Ward is. Oh wait, there's more. Everyone on the base knew except for me."

"Skye," May warned.

"I'm fine." The ground gave a faint shake.

Bobbi pulled her feet off the desk. "Well that was fun."

Skye glared. "This discussion isn't over yet." She turned to May. "Is there anything else I don't know about?"

May have Coulson a look. "Yes," he said cautiously, "there's more." May glanced towards the map.

"What is it?"

"Ward is working for us again."

The ground shook a bit more this time. May was a bit impressed that Skye was holding it together so well.

"How long?"

"Two months. After thinking everything over-" and reading the letters, Skye thought "-I decided that his intentions were true, he was trying to help us. However, I don't blame you for shooting him. You did the right thing."

"Okay," Skye continued, the flush disappearing from her face, "then what has he been doing?"

"He contacted me after he healed, and I decided that if he wanted to join the team after you shot him, he must feel really bad." May gave him another look. "I mean, not that what he did was easily forgivable, but that we've forgiven much worse in the past."

"So how do you know he's not HYDRA?" Bobbi jumped in. Skye's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What? It's getting good."

"HYDRA is after them. They've been killing and capturing HYDRA agents for months."

"Wait, 'they'?" Skye's jaw hung open.

"He's with May. The look alike."

"And you trust her?"

"No, I don't trust either of them, but they get stuff done."

"I need a break," She ran out of the vault and sprinted down the hall to the training room. The floor shook a small amount with every step she took. From the lab, Jemma glanced out the window to see Skye tearing down the hallway. Simmons took off after her.

"SKYE!"

Skye ignored her and threw open the doors to the training room. The agents inside stopped what they doing and stared at Skye, who pounded up the stairs of the Box and climbed inside.

Before Simmons caught up, Skye was already inside, shaking the Box like never before.

May appeared behind Simmons, holding out a cup of tea to her. "How long has she been going?"

"About four hours and ten minutes. This is the longest she's ever gone before." Simmons took the tea and instinctively curled up around it.

"How do you think she's reeling?"

Simmons sipped her tea. "She's working through a lot right now. I think she's really mad we kept everything about Ward from her."

"I think it's more than that."

"You're probably right," Simmons sighed. "Usually when she hits 45 minutes, she begins to back off. Something's she goes a little longer-that's not unusual-but its been three and a half hours longer. After she hits four and a half, I'll probably shut her down, or maybe check in on her," Simmons responded. "She's been withholding from us."

"I know," May told her as she left the room. "Keep me updated."

"Yes m'am."

Suddenly, the box stopped shaking and Skye stepped out. She was drenched with sweat from head to toe. Everyone in the room was quiet, their cold stares bore into her being.
"There's nothing to see guys," she said, stepping down the stairs. The few people training hesitantly returned to what they were doing. On the way out of the room, Skye grabbed a towel. She was disgustingly sweaty.
From there, Skye took a shower that started off colder and slowly grew to a boiling temperature. Once she finished, Skye started feeling dizzy. She quickly decided she needed food, or water, but first she decided to put on her clothes. After slipping on her last sock, Skye's vision faded and she collapsed on the floor in front of her bunk.

"Skye..." a voice called. It and other voices had been wavering in and out for the last hour. Skye didn't want to get up yet. She needed to sleep and she wanted to sleep too. Dammit. She was waking up.

"Welcome back Skye," Simmons welcomed her from across the infirmary.

"Oh my goodness," Skye rubbed her throbbing head. "What happened? How long have I been asleep for?

Simmons pulled a water bottle from the refrigerator, which Skye graciously accepted. "You passed out around...six hours ago. No ones quite sure."

Skye glanced at the clock. It was almost 11. The day team would be going to bed soon, and the night team would be waking up.

"Yeah you spent four hours in the box, and then decided to take a hot shower before eating or drinking anything. A mix of muscle fatigue, warm water, dehydration, and hypoglycemia led to this. I'm surprised you were able to put your clothes on, nonetheless get into the shower. You were really pale when we found you, and you had an impressively low blood sugar for someone without a form of diabetes your age."

Skye wasn't surprised. "Okay. That explains why I feel like shit."

Simmons nodded. "I was going to head to bed. Is there anything you need or want me to bring you?"

There was a pause. "Yeah, actually, can you grab me my tablet and bring me some food?"

"Sure. Just let me get that IV out of you first."

Simmons got one of the nurses to take her IV out. They advised her not to walk for a while and to get some bed rest in the infirmary. They promised her she'd be out in the morning, but to ensure her safety they wanted her to stay overnight. Simmons was the last person to leave after she brought Skye her tablet.

Once Skye was alone, she tried walking. All of her muscles felt like jelly and she couldn't wait to go to the bathroom. Slowly but surely Skye made her way to the bathroom. When she came out, a troop of people came down the hall.

The infirmary windows were some of FitzSimmons's own design. They were clear as day on one side, but blacked out like a wall on the other. Just as Skye looked outside, she saw the troop and who was leading them.

It was Ward.

Skye's adrenaline kicked in and she ran to the window. When she stopped, Skye got very light headed. Skye followed Ward along the window. Half of her was disgusted, the other half was intrigued. By the time she got to the door in the far corner of the room Ward had already disappeared down the hallway.

Skye stood on her tiptoes and tried to look through the door's window, but was nearly pushed over by Simmons.

"Skye! What are you doing out of bed?"

Skye was hesitant to tell Simmons at first, but then she responded. "I thought I saw Ward here, but I must be on something."

Simmons said nothing to confirm or deny it. Instead she helped Skye back into bed. "Why did you come back?" Skye asked.

"I brought you your charger." Jemma plugged the charger into the wall beside Skye's bed and then handed her the tablet.

"Awe thank you so much, Jems."

"Yeah, no problem." Simmons sat down at the foot of Skye's bed. There was silence.

"I'm sorry Jemma. I haven't been a really good friend lately, and I'm sorry." There was more silence. "I can't really make excuses, but there has been a lot going on for both of us."

Simmons rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about it Skye."

Skye nodded and another pause ensued. "How are you and Fitz?"

Jemma drew in a sharp breath. "I thought we weren't gonna make it after the whole undercover HYDRA thing. We've kind of begun to rebuild, but it's awkward."

Skye smiled a bit. "Hey that's good. Better than no progress."

"It is, isn't it?" An awkward feeling overtook the room. "I'm going to go to bed," she told Skye, standing up.

"Okay, sleep tight."

"You too. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yep."

The door shut and Skye was left alone with her tablet. Simmons had shut off the light on her way out, leaving Skye in the dark. She grabbed her tablet off the bedside table and brought up the rest of the letters. She had sworn she saw Ward, and if he was at the base tomorrow, she was going to be prepared.
With the tablet brightness down all the way, and the warm covers around her, Skye snuggled into the pillow and began to read.

Skye,

You've probably already read the first letter in this packet, but here are the rest. They are dated and can be read in chronological order. This is my life and my path to healing documented and sent to you to read. Take care of these.

Yours,

Grant Douglas Ward

Skye flipped through the rest of the manuscripts to find that they were already in order. She settled on the first day.

December 12th, 2014

I'm a bit confused, Skye. I hopped on a plane with Agent 33, Kara, beside me, and when we got off I managed to drive us through Miami to a safe house before passing out. Kara's makeshift stitches ripped apart after landing, and I didn't notice until I fainted.
Thankfully, it was an unregistered safe house of mine, with my blood type in storage. Anyways, I'm still alive. Nice try. Message received.

December 17th, 2014

I don't blame you. I wish I could or did, but I honestly can't. After everything I've done to you and to the team, I need to be okay with the fact that you won't ever want me, or love me, or look at me like you once did.
I guess today I'm really feeling it. Maybe someday I'll feel like a better person.

Or maybe not.

December 25th, 2014

I hate this day, I hate this season, and I hate what I did to the team.

December 26th, 2014

Caught a couple of bad guys today. I hope you don't hate me.

December 30th, 2014

I've been thinking a lot about Fitz today. I wish our meeting had gone better. There was so much I feel bad for and responsible for, and I just want to apologize again, and again.

It's so annoying too, because I have been conditioned and I've conditioned myself into this being that only knows one thing, which is orders. I can follow the rules and break the rules, but I can't make the rules. My body wants me to move on, my head feels no guilt, but my heart is telling me that everything I know is wrong.

December 31st, 2014

Left Miami four hours ago. Currently speeding through Georgia. They're tailing us.

January 1st, 2015

This is really hard to write, but it has to be done. I don't know if this will be hard for you to read, hell, you shot me so probably not. Anyways, here goes.
I have never had a New Years resolution. Garrett didn't like the, and I never really had time. Why would I need a new year to change a habit of behavior? But now, I have a few. New year, new me, right?

I want to make a change in this world. For the good. I want to help wipe my ledger clean. Whether I "lay low" for a couple months, or rejoin the organization, I want to move on.

Starting with you Skye. At first, I wanted to rejoin this organization for you, and so you would love me. I tried to help you by introducing you to your father and helping you uncover your past. Obviously you still weren't over my betrayal, which I don't blame you for. Nonetheless, consider your message received. I don't need you to be a full person. I need my own approval before I start seeking the approval of others, which means that I need freedom from those around me to become a better person.

The distance between us is thousands of miles apart, but I honestly feel like you are right beside me. My life is based on you, and to heal, it can't be.

Goodbye Skye.

Skye sat straight up in the hospital bed, her sore muscles aching. "What?"

The night nurse on duty must have heard because she rushed in, ready to assist. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm fine. Just a dream."

The nurse eyed the tablet in Skye's hands. The light glowed against the hacker's face. The nurse left, closing the door behind her and leaving Skye alone with her thoughts.

YAY! IM BACK! So I thought I would have time during states to type and write, but I only really had time to sleep. Luckily, I just endured like 4 plane rides and I typed so freaking much lol

Also, now that I'm only doing one sport and not working, I have a buttload of time.

Please follow, or favorite, or leave a review, especially if you want me to continue

Have a nice week!