Beauty Beholden

Chapter Ten: Things Change

She was suspended, cradled by the darkness. Somewhere in world between waking and deep sleep. A steady beating made her feel safe within it's rythme, both warm and protected. There was no need to fear the dark. She was protected. But a part of her lashed out at the protection. She was an independent being. She'd spent so much time keeping others out, a part of her wanted to wrench free of the comfort and safety to stand up and say. 'I can take care of myself'. But the steady beating lulled her back into its comfort and warmth.

Swimming in this world of darkness, she sensed another presence, one that'd been absent for a long time.

"Why do you fight it?"

"Fight what?" was her instant reply.

"It's alright to rely on others."

"Who are you?"

The voice smiled, she didn't know how she knew; you could say, she just sensed it, "You know who I am."

Haruhi's throat tightened. "I don't need anyone else… I just want to be a strong woman like you."

"You're very strong, Haruhi, but being strong means you can rely on other's when you need to."

"…"

"You've made a lot of wonderful friends, Haruhi."

"I know." Her throat was so tight; the tears stung the back of her eyes.

"It's okay to let others in; it's okay to love, Haruhi."

"Mother, I'm afraid of losing again…"

"Don't be, I'm always with you…"

Tears did fall then, unbidden down her cheeks.

"Mother!"

She was fading away, she could feel it. Haruhi felt a desperate need to breathe, her body cried out for breath. But still she lashed out reaching hoping to just touch her, just once more…

Haruhi woke with start, tears streamed down her face as she choked back a sob. She'd dreamed of her mother, how odd. Haruhi shifted to bring the covers closer to her body; the resistance as she tugged was unexpected. Haruhi rolled over to inspect and discovered another body in her bed. She scrambled back panic bubbling in her chest, until sense settle back in. Beneath the covers peeked a swatch of auburn hair and Hikaru chose that moment to roll over and expose his sleep reposed face.

The night before came back to her in excruciating details. Hikaru had burst in during the storm. He'd stayed with her till she'd fallen asleep; then fallen asleep himself. Typical. Haruhi was surprised to find a smile pulling her lips. That was the first time anyone had done that for her before or slept in her futon with her for that matter. Haruhi brought her knees up to rest beneath her as she watched Hikaru's slow even breaths. She tilted her head to examine his sleeping face, she noted the soft eyelashes that brushed against his cheeks. With his lips slightly parted, he almost looked innocent while he slept, too bad that didn't follow through when he was awake. Glancing over her shoulder, Haruhi read the digital clock beside her futon, it was just past midnight. Haruhi sighed; she really should wake him up, so he could go home to his own bed and sleep there. But he had come in to comfort her during the storm, even though she hadn't asked him to.

Haruhi rose to her feet and walked over to her bedroom closet where she stored her extra linens. She could sleep in the living room for one night. He just looked so peaceful she didn't have the heart wake him. She slid the door closed behind her and settled her blankets and pillows on the couch. Crawling beneath the blankets, she let her eyes flutter closed. But the second they did, her dream came back with force.

"It's okay to let others in; it's okay to love Haruhi."

Haruhi's eyes fluttered opened. It was just a dream, nothing to really concern her. She let her eyes fall closed once more.

Her eyes opened again. But dreams are the subconscious manifestation, that wasn't her mother giving her advice, as much as she'd like it to be that way, rather her own subconscious mind trying to tell her something… but what?

Haruhi sat up running her hands through her cropped hair. She didn't have time for this; she had to wake up early tomorrow; she had shopping and chores to do and then she had work at the gallery…

Haruhi sighed. Was it so wrong to be independent? She'd spent most of her life taking care of herself. She didn't want to be a burden on her father, or anyone for that matter. That's why she only relied on herself. But now she wasn't so sure, was it okay? She'd fared so many storms alone, literal and metaphorical, and she'd always come out fine.

But no matter how she looked at it, Hikaru had come in to protect her. He'd held her until she fell asleep, and she felt undeniably safer with him. Just the fact that she could sleep at all tonight should've been proof enough that maybe she did need other people.

Even so, she still wasn't quite ready to make that leap to rely on people. But maybe –and this was a big maybe- she could start to let other people be there for her.

Like Hikaru.

And Kaoru.

And Tamaki, Kyouya, Honey and Mori.

They were all her friends; they all loved her, and she was begrudged to admit it, but she loved them all back.

Haruhi fell back onto her bedding. She felt considerably lighter, the way she always felt when she solved a difficult puzzle. But it was more than that, she felt warm. She felt loved.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

The smell of cooking food drifted into Hikaru's sleep fogged mind. His stomach let go a rumble propelling him into full wakefulness. Stretching his arms above his head, it took him a full minute before he registered where he was. He blinked a few times at the unfamiliar ceiling, before the night before came back to him. He'd fallen asleep in Haruhi's bed. With Haruhi. Once again that pesky blush crept up his cheeks. He cursed softly under his breath, before rolling over to notice Haruhi was not in her futon with him.

He shot straight up, a million thoughts racing through his brain. Oh no, Haruhi woke up with me in her bed and now she's angry. She's going to call the police, I'm sure of it. How will I ever live this one down? He could just imagine the headlines: Reclusive Artist; Closet Pervert. Hikaru ran a frustrated hand through his mussed Auburn hair. He had to get out of here before Haruhi found him in her bed. Maybe, if he was lucky, she'd gotten up to use the bathroom and hadn't noticed him.

Hikaru eased himself off the futon, and slipped towards the bedroom door. When he slid open the door, the full scent of cooking food hit him in the face. Haruhi was cooking? He shook his head and followed the enticing scent. When he found Haruhi, she was in the kitchen her back turned to him, humming something unintelligible under her breath, -a bit off key as well. Hikaru leaned up against the doorway, just watching her. He wondered idly what it would be like to wake up like this every morning. Haruhi cooking breakfast for him –or at least he assumed it was for him. He quickly shook off his reverie wondering where such strange thoughts had manifested from.

Haruhi turned around, greeting him with a warm smile. "Morning, Hikaru."

"Hey, Haruhi, about last night…"

Haruhi shook her head, "It's alright, I guess you know my secret now," she shrugged with indifference.

Hikaru stared at her, "your secret?"

Haruhi set her spoon onto the spoon rest, turning to lean against the counter and regard Hikaru evenly, "That I'm afraid of thunderstorms; you're the first person to know about it since my father."

Hikaru was stunned, and strangely honored.

"So, you're not mad that I slept in your bed with you?"

Haruhi shook her head, "No, why would I?"

Hikaru grinned ironically to himself. So much for the pervert-artist headlines he'd predicted.

"Never mind," he waved his hands dismissively. "So what are you making me for breakfast," he inquired. Placing a devious smirk upon his lips, he sauntered over to Haruhi at the counter. He leaned over her placing one arm on each side of her, examining the contents of the bubbling pot. Their bodies were less than a hand-span apart and Hikaru's hairs tickled at Haruhi's neck as he leaned over her shoulder.

He didn't even realized how close he'd gotten until Haruhi cleared her throat purposefully. Hikaru looked down and pulled away, ducking his head to cover the blush on his cheeks, completely missing a similar blush on Haruhi's face as she turned away.

"It's just Miso soup," Haruhi replied evenly, breaking the awkward tension that filled the room.

"Ah," Hikaru replied eloquently.

Silence stretched out before Haruhi cleared her throat and turned back around to face him, "Why don't you go wash up, the bathroom is down the hall."

"Sure," another zinger escaped his lips.

Haruhi waited till Hikaru left the room before clutching the counter with one hand, her other pressed over her rapidly beating heart. That had definitely been a new reaction. She was used to close physical contact between herself and most of the gallery employees -though she'd prefer they weren't so hands on with her. But never before had she felt her heart leap into her throat like that. Especially Hikaru, him and Kaoru were always hugging and teasing her. What had changed she wondered?

Before she had more time to dwell on it, Hikaru returned from the bathroom, a similar pensive expression on his face. Haruhi turned to him and gave him a forced smile. "Why don't we eat?"

O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Kaoru had been pleased when nine at night had rolled around and Hikaru had yet to return from his date with Haruhi. Though a little disappointed he hadn't stayed longer to see how well it went. Then when midnight came and went, he became concerned things went too well. He wanted Hikaru to open up his world a bit more, not seduce Haruhi on their first date. Which brought about the question, did Hikaru even know how to seduce someone? Neither of them had been in a relationship before, they'd been too twisted in upon themselves to even entertain the idea. When one in the morning came, that's when Kaoru started to call his brother's cell phone at ten minutes intervals, until around three in the morning when he'd inevitably worn his battery down. Kaoru had gotten little sleep that night, spending half the night considering calling Kyouya to have him send out his family's personal guard to search for his missing twin.

Around mid-day, Kaoru was resting, restlessly, in the bedroom praying to whatever deity would listen to him that Hikaru was alright. He was jolted from a light doze by the sounds of footsteps on the metal stairwell. He jumped from his bed and ran into the living room. Hikaru was halfway down the landing, a bemused smile on his lips. Kaoru practically vaulted himself into his brother once he had reached the bottom step.

"Where have you been! I nearly called Kyouya's guard on you!" Kaoru held his brother back inspecting him for damage, though he was usually the one being protected by Hikaru, he was feeling an uncommon spark of brotherly protection flowing from him.

"I'm fine. I just accidently fell asleep at Haruhi's place. Then we went grocery shopping together this morning." The same cheesy smile pulled his lips.

"Why didn't you call me?" he pouted.

Hikaru tilted his head to the side to regard his brother, "My phone died. I left in the car on accident and when I checked it this morning the battery had worn down, even though it was fully charged the night before." Hikaru scratched his head thoughtfully.

Kaoru rubbed his neck guiltily not meeting his brother's eyes, "Oh, that was kind of my fault."

Hikaru laughed, ruffling his brother's hair, "that's alright, I bought you this." He handed his brother a bottle of imitation maple syrup. "It's commoner's syrup." He beamed.

Kaoru looked down at the syrup bottle and back up at his brother, at least he'd been thinking of him. But it was strange for him not to call. And to stay out all night, Kaoru had wanted his brother's world to open a little bit more not to leave him behind completely. Honestly, he was started to regret his decision to set Hikaru up on a date with Haruhi. Had he made a mistake? He thought he was ready but maybe he wasn't.

Kaoru felt the urge to hold onto his brother; he grabbed a hold of his waist bringing Hikaru into a crushing hug, his hands twisting in the fabric of Hikaru's shirt.

"I was so worried," he whispered into his brother's neck.

Hikaru stroked circles into his brother's back. "I'm still here; I'll always be here for you," he said softly.

Kaoru nodded against his brother's shoulder. He wanted to believe Hikaru but still a niggling worry gnawed at the back of his brain. What if he wasn't?

A/N: Sorry for the short-ish chapter, to tell the truth this chapter wasn't even in my original outline but once more I decided to split scenes and add a bit more. :3 Tehee. Next chapter is decent sized and already written just awaiting my final edits. And now while I have your attention, I'd like to direct you over to my newest story 'Open Shutters' it's a HikaruXHaruhiXKaoru story set in a AU where Haruhi never joined the Host Club but fate had other plans and she runs into Hikaru and Kaoru later on in life as Hikaru's lawyer. Prologue and Chapter one are up. I have a lot of plans for this story and I'm hoping all my lovely readers of this story will be joining me for my newest venture. :D

Reviews equal love to a starving author. 3