KeyQuis: I just had to complete the seasons. My criteria for a summer ep: no camping, no vacation, no typical summer story and nothing steamy. Since this chapter was unplanned (I didn't mean for it to exist), most of it is me babbling about stuff and writing down whatever comes to mind. Some more HxH moments together...really sorry to S(like anyone really cares). A rather tragic chapter (got some teary moments...) with FLuffs!
And for those readers who keep wondering who Himeno's going to end up with, it's almost a stupid question to ask me because my art gallery answers that question. From the very beginning, this fanfiction was dedicated to my favourite anime couple. Breaking Hayate's heart also breaks my own...just keep reading to find out what happens .
Only You: Summer Memories
Final Exams were over and the students of Shirayuki Sakura High were busily planning their summer vacation out before the new fall semester. Some students wanted to take a vacation outside the city and out of the country. Some wanted to do nothing productive and stay home playing video games. Some wanted to find summer flings. And some wanted and had to attend summer school. Everyone had something to do.
Hayate quickly glanced at the results and ranks. After noticing his significant rise in the top ten list, he prepared to walk away, satisfied with his successful cram sessions. He almost walked away.
"HAYATE!" Himeno screamed as she clutched onto his arm with immense strength. "My physics mark is too low! I have to take it again in summer school!" She pulled Hayate to the ranking sheets. "How did you get TOP STUDENT?" she asked with a gaping mouth of shock.
"I studied hard," Hayate replied monotonously, with his infamous poker face on. "You could have gotten a better mark in physics if you attended the cram session with me, instead of studying with Sasame..." he trailed off, fully knowing that the two of them probably didn't study seriously.
Himeno blushed. She did study with Sasame, but his very near presence kept breaking her concentration. Sasame was getting way too close and affectionate for comfort. It didn't bother Himeno because she liked his attention. She liked being special and important to Sasame. But mostly because Sasame kept her mind off of Hayate.
"I still have to pack up some stuff before I leave. And I have to discuss some matters with Ouka-sensei." Hayate tried to free himself from her grip and Himeno let go and followed him.
"About what?" Himeno walked out of the crowd surrounding the results board. "Is that Omata-sama still hassling you to join his school?"
Hayate didn't look at Himeno when he answered in a low voice. "Something like that...it's no big deal though." He shoved both hands into his pocket and walked calmly back to the classroom to pick up his school bag.
Himeno walked along side her best friend. Hayate seems troubled. Maybe I'll ask him on the way home. "I see, well keep rejecting that old man and he'll eventually stop," she cheerfully said.
Hayate weakly smiled at his best friend as an answer. Sorry, Himeno. Hayate silently put his books together and shoved them into his bag. "Let's go, Himeno." Her books were all gathered her bag as well. He watched her naively smile happily at him.
Himeno waited outside the gym room. She didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation. Hayate told her that she didn't need to hear any of it. Himeno felt slightly confused as to why she didn't need to hear it, but obeyed. It had already been 15 minutes. What's taking so long? Himeno shuffled her feet a bit. Was it something so secretive that you couldn't let me hear it? Himeno let out a sigh. Best friends aren't suppose to hide stuff from each other. She peered into the room and watched Hayate talk with Ouka-sensei. They were in the back corner so she couldn't hear anything. I don't mind if you hide your emotions, but it hurts that you hide outside matters. What is on your mind, Hayate? Himeno really wanted to know what was in his heart instead.
"Thank you, sensei." Hayate bowed in appreciation.
"No problem. It'll be a great chance." Ouka-sensei shook his student's hand. "I'm sure you'll have lots of fun when you advance more in kendo next year. I'm so glad that you've made up your mind about going to Hiroshima, Hayate. And congratulations on being first in your grade level." Ouka-sensei noticed the young girl with bright pink-red hair staring into the room. "I'm sure Himeno will miss you when you're gone next year. At least you have one more semester here before you're off." Ouka-sensei smiled at Hayate. You really are the best swordsman I've ever taught. And it was all thanks to her that you won the tournament.
"Yes, I will spend my fall semester well with everyone," Hayate answered solemnly. A certain memory resurfaced and refreshed a sad moment. "I wouldn't go to kendo anymore if you aren't there." Hayate released the handshake. "I'm sure everything will be fine." He turned to leave his teacher and walked towards Himeno. The sight of her smiling made his guilt rise. She looks so happy...Himeno...I'm so sorry. He faked a happy smile back at her.
The three of them walked home peacefully. Himeno forgot to inquire Hayate about his troubles because Sasame was talking with her about summer plans. Sasame was also going to retake the same physics course in summer school. Hayate ignored the flirty pair of teens. This was going to be the most annoying walk home.
Hayate strolled ahead of the couple. He was wearing the summer uniform and it was still damn hot. In elementary school, he remembered the preppy shorts that accommodated the blazing weather. Now that his body wasn't so childish anymore, he had to wear light long cotton pants that were considered more decent and fitting, as well as mature for his age. Growing up had its pluses and minuses. Sometimes Hayate wished that time would flow faster just so he would get life over with. But those special moments in life made him wish that time would stop just so he could savour its preciousness. Like the time he stole Himeno's first kiss, all those enjoyable kendo practices with her. What he treasured most was her smile and her very company. He had to admit, Himeno's return was the best thing that ever happened to him. If not for her, it was most probable that Hayate would have wore a poker face for the rest of his life. Hayate never wanted to fall in love again. He didn't want to love another girl only to lose her afterwards. In short, he was afraid of love. He tried to recall his childhood times with Himeno and figure out how it all started. All he could remember was that he just did-he simply loved her. It was probably her smile that drew him in. No other girl had a wider mouth than hers. Hayate chuckled at the little memory.
Now she loves Sasame. I'm not needed anymore. I'm only human as well. I have a heart that breaks just like everyone else. There's no way...I've tried to find one...there's no way I can live by your side without me being in your heart, Himeno. No matter how precious you are to me. No matter how much I really want to be by your side. I can't. I can't put myself through any more pain. I'm bound to break down sooner or later...then what? You can't be by my side forever. People have to move on. That's the path I choose. I have to move on. The past will always be with me, but there's a future I want to see. Whether or not you'll be in it...it doesn't matter anymore...you can be happy without me, I know you can, Himeno. Hayate bit his lip to hold in the bitterness. It damn hurt a lot. Love damn hurts.
"Hayate! Wait up!"
Hayate looked back and saw her cling closely to her dearest. He turned his attention forwards again and kept walking.
"Geez, I can't believe Hayate's taking so many advanced courses. It's not even near graduation yet," Himeno playfully whined to Sasame, after the first summer class session ended.
"Oh well, that's just him. Hayate always wants to be the best," Sasame replied nonchalantly. He took Himeno's hand into his own. "Well, physics wasn't that bad. We can always bug Hayate to tutor us if we need to."
Himeno nodded in favour of that option. "Yeah, then we don't have to study so hard," she joked. She sighed. "Hayate's taken so many courses that he doesn't even have free time to spend with us. That selfish idiot." She continued walking hand in hand with Sasame. Or is he being selfless? He sure is giving me more time to be with Sasame...
"Well, Himeno. I asked Hayate about that and he said he felt kind of guilty for spending so much time with you. With kendo and all so he told me that he'd hand over his best friend to her boyfriend for the summer," Sasame answered. My brother is the best. Sasame wouldn't admit that though. "Don't worry. Hayate said that he'll try to fit some time with us." He gripped her hand a little more. A part of him still felt sad about her occasionally talking about Hayate.
"I hope so. This is my first summer back home. I was hoping to make many wonderful memories to treasure," Himeno said gently, with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"How about we start off with some ice cream? I know a great place with a wide selection of flavours." Sasame watched her mouth become a wide smile. "My favourite is lemon with strawberry jelly topped with chocolate shavings.'
"Do they have double powdered green tea kimchee with natto yogurt covered with chocolate chips?" Himeno asked hastily. "It's the absolute best flavour in the world." She looked up at Sasame, who looked like he was kind of sick from the sound of it.
"Um...maybe. We have to go and check to find out." Sasame changed his face back to normal and led the way.
"It really is the best flavour, Sasame. What flavour does Hayate like?"
Several weeks passed and Hayate was doing extremely well in his courses. His concentration increased significantly now that Himeno wasn't around him as often. He decided not to practice kendo until the new semester began. Happy memories would resurface and Hayate didn't want to waver from his decision. He didn't want to hesitate going to Hiroshima next year. He wanted to keep his sword sealed for the summer, for both their sakes. Hayate glanced over at his flower pot. His tulip had blossomed beautifully. It was smiling at him and continued to watch him complete his assignment.
Himeno and Sasame had their first midterm coming up and they decided to ask Hayate for his help to prepare them for their test. Hayate agreed, in spite of his three midterms that were on the same week.
"Just list out all given data on the side and find an appropriate formula," Hayate explained. "You may have to calculate a missing variable using another equation, but that'll be simple." He let the two try to figure out an old exam problem. After a few minutes, he got a response from one of them.
"Is this right, Hayate?" Himeno leaned over the table and showed him her paper. She felt kind of nervous because it had been a while since she had seen him, despite the fact they lived next door to each other. When their eyes met, Himeno saw the same thing-a sea of emotions hiding within each other. Hayate.
"Your numbers are correct, but without given units the entire answer is wrong," Hayate replied plainly. He watched her get flustered up.
"Oops. I'll remember that." Himeno smiled in thanks, hoping that Hayate would smile back. I want to see it again. I want to see your smile.
Hayate turned his attention to Sasame. "Do you have to take so long? At the rate you're going at, you'll only finish the first problem of the test," Hayate said, with boredom in his tone. He tapped his pencil, avoiding eye contact with Himeno. Why is she so intent on finding out what's inside of my heart? It's not like she'll like it. She doesn't have to know anything. It's for the best.
Sasame grumbled and showed his paper, which was correct.
The rest of the study session went smoothly. Himeno understood all the concepts afterwards and Sasame improved his writing time.
"Sasame, could you give me some alone time with Hayate? I want to talk with him about stuff." Himeno had explained to him earlier on how Hayate's distantness was troubling him. Sasame nodded at her and went up to his room.
"Hayate, I um," she began. "I miss you."
"Eh?" Hayate kept his poker face on. What does she mean?
"You're so busy with your courses that we haven't spent any time together. It's my first summer back and I was hoping that we'd make memories together. You know...," Himeno fidgeted in her seat, not knowing if her words and feelings made any sense.
Oh, memories together... "Sorry, I didn't know," Hayate spoke out calmly, keeping his mask on.
Himeno couldn't take it anymore. Damnit Hayate! Why won't you smile at me? I thought I was important to you because you are important to me. "I want to spend time with my best friend, but ever since summer vacation started, all you've been doing is studying." Some tears spewed out. "I don't even see you around anymore. You're always at those daily cram sessions!" Himeno couldn't control the anger and sadness. "I missed you so much Hayate!" She began crying.
Sasame started his shower. I wonder if she'll patch things up. Are you trying to avoid her, Hayate? I thought you loved her so why are you being so mean to her?. He was kind of upset that Himeno was worrying about his brother. He was more upset at the fact that Hayate was reverting to his emotionless state of life again. Damn it. I thought it was going to be alright this time around. You're such a pain to be around.
Himeno heard the repetition of 'sorry' come from the person who was gently holding her against him. She continued to cry on him. It felt like an eternity since she was this close to him. Himeno's sobbing died down when he stroked her hair.
"Hayate...why are you like this? I thought..." Himeno wasn't sure if she could tell it to him directly.
"Thought what?" Hayate murmured softly. I'm so sorry. I made you cry again. I wasn't suppose to make you cry until the end of the year. Hayate held her a little tighter. His heart ached in fresh pain. It hurts, it hurts so much, Himeno. Loving you is so painful.
"I thought I was important. You're important to me, Hayate. I wanted to spend time with the most important people to me...before time passes and I regret not taking the chance." Himeno felt déja vu hit her. Why do I feel like this has happened to me before...with Hayate. She continued speaking from her heart. "Ever since mom died, I've longed to find what I lost." She looked up at Hayate with watery eyes. "Don't you get it, Hayate? I lost you and I found you...same with Sasame. I want to spend as much time as I can with those precious to me." Himeno stopped as realization hit her. She could not say the next sentence in her heart. I love you so much, Hayate. "I found you, Hayate. I don't want to lose you again," she said instead.
Hayate couldn't handle the words coming out of her mouth. They were incredibly painful to listen to. He didn't know what to do. Emotions built up in him like never before. Sorrow, guilt, anger and above all, love. Hayate gripped her closer to her body, making her feel his heart beat. His decision was set though. Turning back wasn't too late, but it might be regretful in the end.
"I'm so sorry, Himeno," Hayate said, almost chokingly. "I didn't mean to become so distant." He wanted to kiss her pain away, but refrained from doing so. The moment was right, but if Sasame walked in on them, there would be hell to deal with. Hayate opted with stroking her hair.
Himeno listened to his heart beat. Silence engulfed them both. She felt peace and comfort in Hayate's arms, for reasons unknown. As much as he made her cry, she didn't mind. Hayate took the pain away afterwards.
"I thought you hated me and kept yourself busy with studying."
Hayate let out a small laugh. "Silly. Why would I hate you?" I hate myself though. "I could never hate you, Himeno. Whenever anything goes wrong between us, it's always my fault. It's not your fault, Himeno." It's not your fault for picking Sasame. It's my fault for not even trying. "How about I spend the weekend after your test with you? I won't spend anytime studying. We can go to the amusement park, have a picnic, whatever. We can do whatever you want. Apology accepted?" Hayate asked, with a small smile on his face. "Sasame can come along if you want."
Himeno shook her head. "I've spent enough time with Sasame already. It'll just be the two of us." Himeno freed herself from the bear hug and sat in front of him. She smiled playfully at him. "Just because I got a boyfriend doesn't mean I'm not suppose to spend time with my best friend." Himeno placed her hand on the side of his face. "You're just as important as Sasame, Hayate." I love the both of you. Both of you have your own special place in my heart. Himeno noticed that Hayate's face was soft and firm under her touch. For a brief moment, she thought she saw a clear emotion in his eyes. Was that...it couldn't be...I must be imaging it...there's no way I saw love. She watched Hayate close his eyes and place a hand over hers. For once she noticed distinct contrasting features. His eyelashes are quite long and thick, not long and thin. That's why his eyes are so sharp looking. His eyebrows are well shaped, making him look serious and... so poker faced. Long nose...chiseled features. It was the first time Himeno stared at his face for so long. Hayate.
This is the first time she's held me like this. Hayate covered her touching hand. "I never knew you thought that way. I always thought you...wanted to be with Sasame," he spoke with closed eyes, hiding his emotions. "I thought that if I wasn't around, you'd be happier with Sasame." He savoured the moment of her sweet touch. I'll never forget this moment with you like this. Never. "You're important to me as well, Himeno." More than you'll ever know.
Himeno frowned and pinched his cheek hard, making Hayate open his eyes and let out an 'ow'. She laughed before speaking, "Well, you thought all wrong, Mr. Top Student!" She watched him rub his cheek after her release. "Maybe you should ask before acting on your own all the time. For someone who's so smart, you make some pretty stupid choices." She pinched the other cheek. "You better learn your lesson now before making another dumb mistake!" Before hurting me again.
Hayate laughed at her words. He found them ironically amusing. Moreover, he was laughing at himself to hide the deep pain. When he stopped laughing, he decided he should smile at her to end the conversation.
"Thanks for the lecture on life, Himeno-sensei," he said jokingly. How I wish this moment could last forever. I wish we could stay like this...just the two of us.
It was a smile she had never seen before. Rarer than the rare one. Himeno thought her heart had stopped at the sight of its beauty. She wanted to see that smile on his face forever. His reddened cheeks made him look like he was blushing and his expression could only be described as priceless. Himeno wanted to freeze the moment and capture it on film. But no, this memory would be kept in her heart, only for her to access. This memory belonged to her alone.
Hayate watched the one he loved enjoy his smile. "Remember that you're the only person who's been able to make me smile like this," he whispered to her. "Thank you." He hugged her, not wanting to ever let go.
Himeno returned the simple affection. "You're welcome."
Neither of them noticed Sasame creep back into his room.
I guess everything went well between them. But still... Sasame still felt a little jealous having another guy touch her, let alone hold her. They're just best friends...nothing else. Sasame decided to not see Himeno leave the house and fell asleep first.
Dear Diary,
I spent the day with Hayate at the local amusement park. It was so fun. We went on so many rides. Hayate puked his guts out after the roller coaster. Guess he can't the handle gravity well. Serves him right for staying in doors all the time. Hayate was so funny all through today. He told me that it was his second time at the amusement park. We went there once when we were kids. In the horror house, we got scared by a dropping monster and Hayate threw one punch at that thing. It shattered into like a million pieces and we ran outta the place in an instant. On the merry-go-round, Hayate was too tall to sit on the horses so he just sat in the open carriage and watched me. We ate ice cream. The place didn't have my favourite flavour, but I found out that Hayate has a real sweet tooth. He had a triple scoop waffle cone. One triple chocolate fudge, one hazelnut fudge and one blueberry chocolate. He loves chocolate. I will remember that forever.
Himeno paused for a bit. There was so much to write about. Even if the pen were as fast as her thoughts and feelings, it would still take a long time to capture everything onto ink. She continued.
Hayate handmade bentos for the both of us. I never knew that he was a good cook because the food was great. Yeah, Hayate told me beforehand that he wouldn't eat outside food, especially not hot dogs and hamburgers. He insisted on making lunch for the both of us. Hayate acted like a little child at some parts of the day. Whining and complaining at certain little things. About how unsanitary outside food was, about the games where prizes were almost impossible to win without physics. Oh yeah, I pleaded Hayate, well it was more like begged him to win me something, anything. He sighed and was so sweet about the whole thing. It was so cool, he knocked down all the bottles with one ball in one instant. Said something about static weak point in the structure, whatever that means. I chose a cute little stuffed puppy with blue eyes and a fur coat of mixed browns. The blue eyes reminded me of Hayate's eyes. I told him that and he blushed. He so cute when he blushes. I don't think I've ever seen him so full of laughter and joy in one day.
A fuzzy tingly warm feeling grew from within. Himeno couldn't forget Hayate's smiling face. Today was the first official day of his opened self. She didn't see the poker face at all and it felt wonderful. Hayate told her that he would take if off today, just for her. Hayate's so kind. Himeno felt the warmth grow.
I tried to win something for Hayate in return. I tried the knock down bottle game as well. The truth is I missed the bottles. My aim was so off and I hit the bottle stand instead. I still won though because I used so much power when I threw the ball that the stand broke and all the bottles fell down. Hayate gave me a weird face. I'm pretty sure he was trying to tell me about 'All strength, lack of skill' attitude like the way he nags at me in kendo. That Hayate, he's so
Himeno couldn't think of the word to describe him. He's so what? There wasn't one word that fit the description. She chose the most fitting word.
everything. Perfect. He and Sasame are totally different. Sasame's really sweet and loving, but so is Hayate in his own way. Making a box lunch for me. Taking off his poker face just for me. Smiling just for me.
Himeno stopped writing for a bit. Everything just for me... Himeno's heart fluttered. She couldn't deny the feelings in her heart. She had fallen in love with Sasame starting with her crush, but Hayate...she felt as if she just loved him from the beginning without even knowing. No doubt they had grown close since her return. Himeno thought back to all her memories with Hayate. There was joy and sorrow. With Sasame, there was mostly happiness. She couldn't think of a time when the both of them argued over anything. With Hayate, things were different. He was supporting her from backstage. He never said anything sugar-coated and pleasing. Hayate was Hayate. He was always there for her. He listened to her. She confided in Hayate more than in Sasame for reasons she didn't know why. Hayate helped her wherever, whenever, however, whyever, whatever. This day they spent together, it was just for the both of them. Himeno continued writing.
Oh yeah, he chose a teddy bear that had pink-red eyes. I'm pretty sure it was suppose to resemble me. Anyways, Hayate actually attracted a lot of unknown attention. I heard so many females praise him from afar. As a girl, I will confess that Hayate is good to look at. By the way, he cut his hair. I think it looks great, makes him more...good looking than he already is. I teased him about it and he blushed. He's so cute when he blushes ( I said that already didn't I?). We went on so many other rides and to tell you the truth, I think Hayate was scared on most of them even though he'd die confessing that out. I noticed his face kept getting a little paler after each ride so I decided to stop the fast and extreme stuff. Bumper cars was hilarious. The both of us shared a car and I drove like a maniac. Hayate was my cushion for any impacts. His body is strong enough to handle anything...well except fast foods and roller coasters. There's probably a lot more he can't handle. I wonder if he's ever had a broken heart. I can't imagine any girl rejecting a perfect guy like Hayate. Okay, so he's not totally perfect, but he's a great great guy. Too bad he doesn't like girls. I wonder why.
Himeno noticed she was going off topic. I have to write about our day. I have to record it.
Anyhow, Hayate was so protective of me. I swear, he took all of the shoving and pushing in the line-ups. And he's the type of guy no other guy probably wants to start a fight with. Hayate is quite intimidating when he wants to be. One guy whistled and winked at me and the glare in Hayate's eyes was murderous. The guy left the line up. It was funny when a group of guys were eyeing me...well not funny hahah, funny uh-oh. Hayate crushed what I think was a piece of chain 'by accident'. It was deformed pretty badly. Then he calmly led me out of their sight telling me that he'd protect me.
Himeno felt her heart race. She knew she loved Hayate on friend basis. She simply loved him, however love could be defined. Love was the only word she could use to define her feelings for him. She didn't like Hayate. She loved him. Everything about him was perfect in her own eyes. He didn't have to be like Sasame. Hayate just had to be Hayate. Himeno would only take Hayate as he was. She couldn't imagine him being any different. Hayate...
Sasame never said those words to me before. He told me countless times he loves me. Wait, I'm suppose to be writing about my day. The day went well. The last ride we went on was the ferris wheel. I couldn't believe that the both of us were afraid of heights. Both of us sat in safely, sealed in by doors, windows. We took a small carriage so the both of us sat next to each other. I sort of wanted to sit across from him, but I didn't want him to see me blushing. I never knew that being so close to Hayate was so...heart pounding. I'm a girl and he's a boy. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that being close to someone else of the opposite gender makes one aware of the possibilities.
Himeno bit her lip. She didn't know if she wanted to confess to her diary all the things that were going through her mind at that moment in time. They were embarrassing and some totally out of decent context. It was the damn hormones. Himeno tried convincing herself that her desire to kiss Hayate was all due to a bunch of chemicals letting loose in her body. She bit her lips harder.
Hayate's body was so close to mine. I pressed myself closer to feel his warmth. I wanted him to wrap an arm around me, but he simply kept his hands to himself. The ride was quite silent. We enjoyed the view from the top. It was so beautiful and romantic. Hayate smiled at me when I gave him a hug then. I told him that this was the best day to date in my life. Then he said jokingly something about Sasame being jealous. I couldn't tell very well under the moonlight, but I think there was a bit of sadness in his eyes. I think. I snuggled closer, feeling a bit guilty about Sasame. I couldn't let the moment slip. When was there going to be another chance for me to be with Hayate like this? I didn't regret it. It was kind of funny because I fell asleep. Ferris wheel rides sure are long.
I'll make everything up to Sasame. Himeno looked at her clock. It was well into the night and she had to get to bed soon if she wanted to wake up for class the next morning. Just a bit more left.
A breeze came out and Hayate took off his light coat and gave it to me. I just had to go in a sleeveless and short dress. If not for the coat, I probably would have caught a cold. Oh yeah, Hayate's coat smelled nice. I honestly didn't think he'd put cologne on just for me. Heck, I don't even know if he borrowed it off Sasame, but I'm pretty sure he didn't because I never smelled Sasame wear that scent on before so I'm going to assume Hayate has his own stuff.
Himeno giggled. Hayate was amusing to think and write about.
It was a nice smell. Wasn't strong, wasn't light. Just perfect. Kind of like a multi-purpose good smelling cologne that a guy can use on any occasion. Yep, that's Hayate. Efficiency is what he lives for.
Himeno let out a laugh. Hayate...
Hmm, we walked home hand in hand. That was nice. I had a great day with Hayate. I wish that there will be more happy times with him. Maybe next summer will be better. As long as Hayate's with me, I'm sure there'll be lots to experience in life.
Himeno stared at the last line. There was some sad connotation to it. As long as... Himeno wiped the thought of Hayate not being there with her in life and went to bed. Please let there be more memories of Hayate in my future. Himeno hugged the stuffed puppy, which she named Soyokaze, fell asleep with the warmth generated from her wonderful day.
Hayate lay on his bed and thought about his day. It had been a very very long time since he went out and had fun. Heck, he didn't even know that word existed in his life until today. He remembered smiling, laughing as well as glaring. Hayate chuckled to himself and found himself holding onto his new teddy bear, his only teddy bear. He would never forget this precious summer memory. It was his last summer at home after all. He cherished every moment with Himeno by his side. Especially during the ferris wheel. He recalled her body leaning against his own. She fell asleep on his shoulder. She looked so happy while she slept. It took every bit of willpower to not kiss her. Hayate was content with wrapping an arm around her waist, making sure she didn't fall off the seat. The whole situation reminded him of his first kiss. Hayate wasn't going to be that much of a jerk to kiss a taken girl who was sleeping. Himeno must have trusted him to not do anything or why else would she fall asleep so peacefully onto a guy. Hayate didn't deny the fact that he wanted to do more than kiss her. He was of age when boys had indecent thoughts about girls runny in their minds. Hayate heard from the older boys in his advance class about their fantasies about particular girls. As much as he tried to ignore them, he couldn't. He was of the same human and gender race after all. Because of it, he was thankful that Sasame had said nothing to him about Himeno. He did not want to listen to his brother talk about certain things about his best friend. It was too disturbing to think about. Hayate wanted to remain as chaste as possible, in heart, body and in mind. He was thankful that his mother could not read minds.
Hayate looked at his nameless teddy. "I think I'll call you Summer." He said good night to his tulip and tucked himself in bed. I won't change my mind. I won't regret leaving. I have to move on without you, Himeno. Hayate knew he was lying to his heart.
Soyokaze: breeze, gentle wind
Author's Notes: WTH WAS THAT? Totally unexpected. I just started writing and before I knew it, I WROTE ANOTHER CHAPTER (all in one day too). I must say, it turned out better than I thought and a helluva lot longer than I intended. Girl's Diary-I actually kept one for a long time to record events in life. I didn't know what ice cream flavour Hayate liked so I just gave him my favourite: chocolate (no objections plz). And the top student thing was a real event in my life (no kidding). And physics? (don't even ask about my studies).
Some explanations for Hayate's behaviour. He has a strong character and is not the type of guy to be crying himself to sleep over a girl because she's with someone else. At this point, he trusts Sasame with Himeno so he's not exactly worried about Himeno being in an abusive relationship. He's moving on so the pain in his heart will go away. No point in wasting away and throwing the future away for something that's just wishful thinking (Hayate's view on the whole thing). He's analyzed the situation and decides that it's for the best. Honestly, he's human too. We don't like feeling pain. It's both a selfless and selfish action. Hayate's doing what he feels best is for the both of them, without consulting Himeno in the process. The real question remains: Does he actually leave? There's still quite a bit of time left and there's still hope for Hayate.
About the guys having indecent thoughts in their teenage years- It's sadly true. I have more evidence than I need. Go ask any guy friends and see if they'll answer truthfully. Ask your parents if you must. I must admit that I was a victim of some guy's fantasy. I was happy that he (actually a close friend of mine) told me honestly, but seriously...did I need to hear it? (#$ NO!) Gotta 'love'(yeah right...) the guys that tell you everything about themselves, better now than never I say. That's what the next chapter is about. It's Sasame's turn for attention. KeyQuis flees from the protective Hayate. Something REALLY AWESOME happens in chapter 11...well something worthwhile reading (I know there are readers who are going to love what happens between the brothers(no more hints)).