A/N: Thank you for all of your comments and my apologies for not answering to any of them personally. Real life does get in the way of a hobby sometimes. Anyhow, this chapter is one of the shorter installments, and I can't really say how I feel about it as a whole so I'll leave it up to you all to decide what you think about it. Until next time.
10: Blossom, Charm and Confession
Byakuya stopped by a plum tree and reached his hand up to pick the one blossom that was blooming from its branch and then carefully kept the blossom in the fold of his kimono before he walked down a stone pavement that led to the large hall where shrines to the passing members of the Kuchiki Clan were located.
Lord Kuchiki entered the hall and walked past several shrines before he stopped at a small one in the dark corner of the hall. He then blew some dusts away from the door of the shrine before he gingerly opened it to reveal a dusty photo frame which was set beside a stone plate that was engraved with a name Kuchiki Hisana.
Byakuya reached out for the picture frame and used the hem of his kimono sleeve to wipe away all the dust that was covering the frame so that he could finally see the fading photo of a woman who looked very much like a more mature and feminine version of Rukia. He then placed the photo back down and turned to search for some incense sticks, which he later lit with a small kidō fire and then place them down in an incense holder.
The day was the anniversary of Hisana's death, and just like that day fifty three years ago, it was a cold February day in which plum trees had just begun to blossom.
"Hello, Hisana. I'm sorry I haven't come to visit you at all since last year, but then again, by now you'd probably have already reincarnated in the World of the Living and found someone you could truly love and be happy with that person in the way that I couldn't make you be, or at least, I wish you had."
Byakuya then reached into the fold of his kimono and brought out the plum blossom that he had picked earlier before he placed it right down in front of his late wife's fading photo.
"But if you're still listening to me somehow, I picked you a plum blossom. It was your favorite flower, I recall," he said softly, remembering the time when they viewed those flowers together in an early spring.
"So many things have happened in these past twelve months. We entered a war with the Quincy. I almost died in that war. Rukia and Renji were also severely injured. But we won the war, thanks to Ichigo – yes, I call him by his given name now. I don't suppose I have told you that we – all captains and lieutenants, I mean – lent some of our powers to him so that he could regain his Shinigami power just last summer. Even now I still can't tell if giving him back his power is good for him, but I guess it was better than letting him be in complete despair? I don't know, Hisana. It feels like we have taken so much from that boy without giving him anything good in return."
Byakuya sighed.
"By the way, perhaps I should tell you Ichigo and I have been on very good terms since he regained his power," the noble lord continued. "To be completely honest with you, I find his company very uplifting. I feel it would be fine to simply be myself around him, and sometimes I would share some secrets with him, and he wouldn't judge me. It was just like when you were around and I would talk to you about my problems, except unlike you, he often talked back at me."
Byakuya smiled fondly at the thought.
"Anyhow, Ichigo was acting rather strange in his last visit, and he still has yet to show up again after seven weeks. Perhaps he has really fallen ill that time, or perhaps he has been busy with his life in the World of the Living. After all, he once mentioned it was his last year in school, so he would have to take a national exam in order to try to get into the university of his choice. I hope it's the latter case."
Byakuya then shook his head as though he realized he had just spoken something that should not have been said.
"However, you probably don't want to hear about him, and I don't even know why I even told you that. The bottom line is I am doing well and Rukia is also doing very well, so rest in peace and don't worry about us."
Byakuya then took half a step back from the shrine, and once again he sighed softly as he laid his eyes on the photograph of his late wife. He could tell that all the colors in that photograph had already faded and that soon the rest of the details would follow and leave the photo to be nothing more than a blank paper. The thought made Byakuya wonder if he had been holding on to her memories for too long, especially when Hisana herself had asked him to promise that after she died, he would move on and find someone who could return his love in the way that she herself never could.
"Someday I will keep that promise, Hisana," he whispered, "someday."
Although Byakuya didn't have much else to say to Hisana's portrait, he still stood there, watching the incense burn while thinking several useless thoughts.
After the incense was completely burned out, Byakuya looked at the photo for one last time before he gently close the shrine and walked out of the hall.
Since he didn't expect anyone to be there, Byakuya was more than a little surprised when he saw Ichigo sitting at the wooden porch with Zangetsu placed against one of the pole of the building right by his side. Since when had the Substitute Shinigami learned how to mask his spiritual presence?
Ichigo quickly got to his feet once he spotted Byakuya coming out of the room. It was only then that Byakuya noticed that the orange-haired teen actually wore a black wool haori over his normal shihakushō and also put on a pair of knitted gloves.
"Hi, Byakuya. It's been a while," he greeted. "Rukia said I might find you here."
Byakuya acknowledged Ichigo's word with a nod. Somehow he believed that even if Rukia didn't reveal his whereabouts to Ichigo, the teen would be able to track him by himself anyhow, so Captain Kuchiki assumed that his sister told Ichigo where to find him just so Ichigo wouldn't unwittingly barge in on him.
"How long have you been sitting out here?" he wondered.
"I don't know. Ten or fifteen minutes, maybe," Ichigo estimated. "To tell you the truth, I thought I would have to wait for much longer."
Byakuya narrowed his eyes, wondering just why Ichigo would even bother to sit there all alone in the cold just to wait for him.
"You do realize, of course, that you could have just announced your presence?"
Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, but I didn't want to interrupt you. I mean, Rukia said today was an anniversary of Hisana-san's death, so I figured it'd be better to wait out here until you to come out by yourself."
Lord Kuchiki blinked. He supposed the Substitute Shinigami could be considerate if he wished to be.
"Is there something important that you need to speak to me?" he asked. After all, why else would Ichigo bother to wait for him there when there was no way for the teen to tell how long he would spend his time in there?
"Not really," Ichigo replied, shaking his head. "I just come to return your scarf."
With that said, Ichigo handed him a small shopping bag which contained a neatly folded windflower silk scarf that Byakuya had lent to Ichigo several weeks earlier.
Byakuya took a look at the scarf before he cast his eyes to Ichigo's face.
"You know there is no need for you to wait for me here just to return it to me yourself," Byakuya commented. "You could have just left it with Rukia."
"I could have," Ichigo agreed, "but then I'll have to explain to her how I got it in my possession in the first place. Besides, if I left it with her, I wouldn't get to see you now, would I?"
Byakuya raised an eyebrow as if to challenge Ichigo's point only to realize that Ichigo had averted his eyes almost as soon as they made an eye contact, which he noted as yet another strange behavior because Ichigo rarely failed to meet anyone in the eye.
"I doubt you really miss me all that much, Ichigo," he commented impassively. "By the way, how have you been in these past weeks? You did not fall ill after you went home last time, I hope?"
Ichigo shook his head.
"No, I didn't – though I did come down with influenza after I took the national exam. My old man said it was probably because my immune system got weak due to all the stress and all the sleepless nights I'd been having. But you know me. I'm pretty much a cockroach in a human body, so I'm all better now. Thanks for asking."
"That is one strange comparison to make, but then again, I suppose you are really that difficult to kill," Byakuya commented, thinking of the number of times he knew of Ichigo cheating death. "How did the exam go, by the way?"
Ichigo sighed at that.
"I did the best I could, but the exam was tough, so I really can't tell how the result is gonna come out," the Substitute Shinigami admitted.
"I'm sure you did well," Byakuya commented and reached out to pat Ichigo's on the shoulder to offer a little bit of assurance only to sense Ichigo's muscle tensed up for a second before it became relaxed under his touch. "But if you need a little more moral support, there is a shrine just outside of Seireitei that is known for its good luck charm for study. We could get you one of that."
The Substitute declined the offer by shaking his head.
"Nah, that's okay. My old man has already bought me a charm on New Year. He said he got it from Soul Society, so it could be from the same shrine that you talked about," Ichigo said before he dug into the fold of his kimono to bring out that charm so that he could show it to Byakuya. "Here. See?"
Byakuya didn't really take the charm from Ichigo's hand, but simply glance at it for a second before he furrowed his brows.
"Yes, it is from the same shrine," Byakuya said, "but I'm rather certain that it is not a good luck charm for exam and study."
It was Ichigo's turn to furrow his brows and asked, "Huh? What are you talking about?"
That time Byakuya reached out for the charm bag and turned it over before he placed it back into Ichigo's palm in order to show the Substitute Shinigami what was written in the back of the charm bag.
"It's a charm for love and marriage."
Ichigo's chocolate eyes were widened as his expression turned mortified when he glanced down to the charm in his hand and saw the word en musubi printed on the back of the charm bag in gold letters. Once again, Ichigo had to make a mental note never to accept anything from his dad until after he checked it thoroughly regardless of his dad's forceful way of making him accept the thing.
"Seriously, that guy is becoming way too much."
Byakuya looked at Ichigo's expression before he looked back at the way Ichigo clenched his fist around the charm and then back to Ichigo's face again.
"Judging from your reaction, I assume it was not an honest mistake on your father's part."
Ichigo gave Byakuya a wry look that said the teen was about ready to just bite his own tongue and hope he would bleed to death so he wouldn't have to explain anything to Byakuya right then.
"No, it's not a mistake," the Substitute Shinigami confirmed.
"It's not?" Byakuya asked as if to prompt Ichigo to elaborate a little further into the detail.
Ichigo bit his lower lips and fidgeted slightly. He looked somewhat mortified by the thought of having to explain himself to Byakuya, yet he sighed and replied:
"I might have told my dad that I was romantically interested in someone."
Byakuya's slate eyes became slightly widened. The truth was he didn't expect that development from Ichigo at all, and he was a little lost on how he should feel about that revelation.
It wasn't as if he was actually crushed from knowing that Ichigo had a romantic interest in someone. Although he would go so far as to admit that he was rather fond of the Substitute Shinigami and that there were times when he entertained the notion of Ichigo being interested in him in a romantic sense, he never actually allowed himself to dwell on those thoughts. After all, Ichigo was a generous man whose actions were more than likely to give mixed signals to just about everybody that he had extended his kindness to.
Even so, the revelation still surprised him and left him with an unidentified feeling that took Lord Kuchiki a moment to finally be able to suppress. He then put on his trademark impassive mask before he looked at Ichigo's face once again only to see how troubled the boy actually looked, and that look only gave him one conclusion.
"I apologize if I am prying, but could it be that you have confessed to her and got rejected?"
Ichigo jumped at the question and for the first time since they discussed the subject, he actually looked up to meet Byakuya's eyes with his wide ones.
"What? No!" Ichigo quickly denied before he sighed and admitted, "Actually, I still don't know how I should deal with this feeling yet."
Again, the troubled look returned. And if there was one thing Byakuya knew for certain about that whole episode, it was that he hated to see that expression on Ichigo's face.
"You could start by telling that person how you feel and then proceed from there," Byakuya advised.
"Trust me, Byakuya, I would do that if I believed even for a second that there was a chance that my feeling would be reciprocated," Ichigo mumbled, once again, looking away from the nobleman, "but from the way things are, I don't need to confess to know that I'd be rejected."
"You can never know for certain until you do," Byakuya pointed, "unless of course, that person is already involved with someone else."
Ichigo shook his head.
"No, not really," Ichigo replied. His chocolate eyes then moved toward the closed door of the hall for a second before he remarked, "But I know for a fact that there's already someone else in that person's heart."
"Oh. That could be a problem."
"Yeah," the Substitute Shinigami agreed. "My old man said a heart could always be swayed as long as the person is not committed to anyone, so I should take my chances anyway. But the thing is, I've known this person for a while now, and it took a lot of efforts to get to this point in our relationship, so I don't want to ruin everything by confessing."
Again, Byakuya took a careful look at Ichigo.
"The feeling won't fade away just because you ignore it, Ichigo," Byakuya commented. "If anything, it would last longer because it never had a proper closure."
"So you're suggesting that I should confess my feeling just to get rejected and ruin everything?"
"It doesn't always to end negatively," Lord Kuchiki pointed. "If I know anything about you, it is that you have this amazing ability to move people's hearts. If this person knows you even half as well as I do, she would not reject you."
Ichigo quickly looked up to Byakuya with a glimpse of hope behind his brown eyes, but the look disappeared just almost as soon as it was there.
"Now you only said that to cheer me up."
Since Ichigo looked away again, Byakuya could only try to read Ichigo's thought from his facial expression, which didn't reveal anything much aside from his perpetual scowl.
"You know me, Ichigo. I do not say something unless I really mean it," Lord Kuchiki remarked.
Ichigo scoffed.
"Right, but if I were to confess to you here and now, you wouldn't accept my feeling, would you?"
Byakuya stared at Ichigo, trying to figure out if Ichigo tried to imply something or he simply wanted to contradict his words. However, since the boy didn't meet his eyes, it was difficult to tell just what was going on in his head. In the end, Byakuya couldn't really tell which case it was, so he worded his reply carefully as he didn't want to make things awkward between the two of them.
"You'll have my reply to that question only when you actually confess to me," he said, keeping his tone light. "However, since that's not the case, there's no point in discussing it."
It was Byakuya's turn to turn away from Ichigo and look out to the yard where the plum trees were.
"Anyway, just take my words to your consideration, Ichigo," Byakuya continued, "because sometimes you only get one shot at something really good, and you would not want to waste that chance just to look back and wonder what it could have been like if you had chosen a different path."
"Are you speaking from experience or something?"
"I have my fair share of regrets from denying my own heart," Byakuya replied. "If it could be helped, I'd prefer not to see you follow the same path. Besides, I find it unlike you to give up without a fight."
Ichigo turned to look at the side of Byakuya's face before he promised, "I'll think about it. I mean, it's not like the person isn't worth fighting for."
Byakuya studied Ichigo's expression once again, and for a moment there, he wondered just what kind of person the one who had captured Ichigo's heart actually was.
"In that case, I wish you the best of luck with whichever choice you make."
"Thanks, Byakuya. It means a lot coming from you."
Lord Kuchiki turned to Ichigo and gave him a hint of a smile and a nod to acknowledge his gratitude.
"By the way, shall we head away from this hall?"
Ichigo furrowed his brows slightly before he shot his eyes back to the way Byakuya had come out from.
"You're not going back in there to spend more time with Hisana-san?"
Byakuya looked back at the hall for a second before he turned to face Ichigo and shook his head.
"Hisana has been gone for more than half a century now, you know," the noble lord pointed.
"Yeah, but you still love her, right?"
Byakuya nodded.
"I do," the nobleman replied honestly. He also noticed the way Ichigo winced slightly as he heard his response. "But she's no longer here, and I cannot keep holding on to her memories forever. Time has changed, and it would only hurt if I refused to move forward."
Ichigo widened his eyes at Byakuya's words.
"Wait. Does that mean—?" Ichigo stopped in the middle of his sentence and narrowed his eyes as if to try to find the right word for his question.
"I am not actively looking for a new romance if that's what you're wondering," Byakuya stated even before Ichigo could decide on how to phrase his question. "However, I am not shutting myself off from any possibilities either."
Ichigo blinked twice as his brain tried to process the new information.
"Seriously? You're open to possibilities of new love?"
"Yes, I believe that is what I said. Now that we're clear on that, shall we head out of this hall?" Byakuya asked once again. "I don't even know why you should be interested in my love life or lack of it anyway."
Byakuya turned and was about to head away from the hall without waiting for Ichigo's response yet he had to stop dead on his track when Ichigo replied from behind him:
"I might have an ulterior motive."
Byakuya held his breath for a second before he released it. He didn't turn back to look at Ichigo when he asked in the tone that he hoped was neutral enough.
"Should I be alarmed?"
Ichigo pursed his lips for a second before he replied, "In a way, yes."
Since Ichigo worded his response in such a way, Byakuya had no choice but to turn back and look at the Substitute Shinigami with a raised brow as if to urge the teen to explain himself.
Ichigo looked down to the wooden porch before he continued, "I like you."
Slate eyes were widened. Deep down he knew where the conversation was leading, but Byakuya still had to make sure he didn't look too deep into things.
"And that should alarm me because...?"
"I like you," Ichigo repeated himself once again although this time he actually looked up and allowed his chocolate eyes to meet with Byakuya's slate ones. "And I'm saying so in a romantic kind of way."