Me & PP: a Journey Into the Absurd Chapter 10: Re: The Beach, a twilight fanfic

I grab Jasper's hand and pull him toward a not as crowded section of the beach. I knew that Fire Island was "gaytopia," as Jasper kept enthusiastically referring, but I guess I wasn't prepared for the sheer mass of men. Not to mention, the minuscule shorts most of them seem to be wearing. I am hip with the fashions of today. My shorts are a bit above my knee, but I definitely didn't pack a Speedo.

I glance back to Jasper, smiling as he unbuttons his khaki shorts.

Oh. My. God.

Jasper's swimming shorts are tiny, orange and showcasing all of him.

When I bend over to spread out our towels, I make a point to linger a little longer than necessary, and wiggle my ass. I know these hot-pants look amazing on me. Hell, I tried on twenty different suits until I found the perfect one. And this is it. I'm certain of it when I crane my neck to see Edward with a puddle of drool at his feet.

I peel my t-shirt off and grab some sunscreen. Walking over to Edward, I hand it to him before turning around and flexing my shoulders.

"Can you spread it on me, please?"

Jasper's smirk is all but consuming his face. He looks like the cat that ate the canary. Obviously, he knows he looks hot in his swimsuit. If I could concentrate on anything besides his bottom and the feel of his back underneath my hands, I would say something... something smart... just something.

Oh, who am I kidding?

"You look unbelievably good in that bathing suit, Jasper," is what I end up whispering in his ear.

He laughs. "I know."

I shake my head, but don't say anything, just tell him to turn so I can rub lotion on his chest.

Edward's fingers skim past my nipples, which harden at his touch. My head falls back, giving him the chance to run his teeth against my neck. I moan, apparently too loud, since it causes nearby sunbathers to loudly hoot and holler, egging us on. Edward immediately hops back, his cheeks red and his lips form the perfect "o" shape.

His hand drops the sunscreen and he covers his face.

"They're still staring," he whispers.

I close the gap between us, pulling his hands away from his face.

"Then let's give them something to see," I growl before my lips find his.

Jasper practically assaults my mouth with the way he's kissing me. I kiss him back with hopefully as much enthusiasm until a loud whistle catches my ears. I push him away while still holding him close and bury my face in his neck. He wraps his arms around me, and his body shakes with his laughter.

"It's not funny!" I growl against his skin.

"Dude, no worries!" he placates me, rubbing his hand up and down my back. "I think we're a hit!"

I scoff, and finally release him. Jasper smiles at me. "Let's do something non-sexual then," he suggests.

I can tell I've piqued Edward's curiosity. I dig through the backpack and pull out some shovels and buckets I had snagged earlier from the motel.

"Sand Sculpture competition!" I call out.

I grew up watching these sand competitions. They always showed them on PBS and Nana would drag me into the TV room to watch them with her. These guys wouldn't just build sand castles, they went all out, balls to the walls awesome. I always wanted to make my own.

I toss a shovel and bucket Edward's way and claim my spot before getting on my knees to start digging.

I look down at the plastic "tools" in my hands. Is Jasper serious? I block the bright sun from my eyes and watch him start gather the sand into a big mound.

Well, when in Rome...

I start to build my castle, wishing I at least had a ruler or protractor or something to help me with my task. None the less, I run down to the water to fill my bucket. Unlike Jasper, who's going full force on the sand, I know you need some water to build with sand. You don't do anything unless you can do it well!

I watch as Edward starts to get his sand overly wet and smirk. Doesn't he know that the best way to get packed sand is to dig deep until you get the good stuff. I sneak a glance and laugh at his bewildered expression. He starts dumping mushy sand into his buckets and muttering under his breath.

I turn back and focus on the pile of sand in front of me. As I work on carving and smoothing the sand, I realize that a handful of people have gathered. I decide to up my game and play to the crowd.

I hear a whoop from around us, and I look over to see that a crowd has formed behind Jasper. The men all stare as he slowly bends over to dig in the sand. He even shakes his ass! The nerve of that guy. What is he building anyway? I brush the sand off on my shorts and walk over to his sculpture.

What the... he can't have...

"Jasper!" I yell.

He turns around to grin at me. "You like?" he asks. "I call it Edward in Sand."

"That's supposed to be my-" I can't say it.

"Yep. Your dick."