It had now been about three months since I met Ethan. As the semester carried on, I became more and more busy with my schoolwork and neglecting it to hang out with Ethan was no longer possible. Plus, after I was beginning to get my life together again after Michael's passing, I started my job at Nordstrom again. I had begun to run low on money and I desperately needed to get some rent money saved up again. All of it was difficult to juggle, but I hung out with Ethan when I could and that always helped.

Unfortunately, his filming schedule often conflicted with the little free time I actually had. It was tough to keep up our relationship when we so rarely got to spend time together. Of course, that wasn't the only challenge. Ever since we had gone public with our relationship, I got stopped all the time on the street by fans and when we got the chance to go on a date, the paparazzi would follow us around and make our time less romantic and more rushed.

The fans were kind to me in general, but it wore on me to see their comments especially when my plans with Ethan fell through. First, it was hard to see positive comments about how our relationship was "perfect" when it didn't feel perfect at all. I didn't want the fans to be disappointed if it didn't work out, though I really wanted it to. On the other hand, the negative comments about how I wasn't right for Ethan were even worse. Most of them only confirmed my fears and insecurities. Ethan was one of my favorite people in the whole world, but dating him was a lot harder than I initially thought.

Since our schedules were always so different, I had focused more on making friends at the university. Lately, I had been studying with a nice guy from my anthropology class named James. He was no Ethan, but he was really nice and funny. Frankly, I saw more of James than I did of Ethan most of the time. We even decided to hang out for fun on the weekend. Ethan told me he would probably be filming that day, so I agreed when he asked me to get coffee. It was better than staying home.

"Hey, hope your day is going okay. I hope we can spend some time soon, I miss you." I texted Ethan. It was a few minutes before he replied.

"Gray and I have been working on this video for hours. Just can't seem to get it right. But it's supposed to go up Saturday, so I gotta keep working on it or come up with something new quick." He replied. I sighed. I admired Ethan for how hard he worked and knew how important his videos were to his fans, but I wanted to be selfish and get him back. He didn't even say I miss you.

"Alright. Well good luck. Love you." I said.

"Love you too." He typed. Great conversation. I grabbed my stuff and headed out to meet James. The summer was officially over now, so the sun set earlier. Although it never really got cold in LA (I would know, I'm from Alaska), it definitely wasn't as hot as a couple months ago, so I grabbed a jacket on my way out. The afternoon was nice, but the sky was a little overcast compared to usual. I walked to the coffee shop since it was only a few blocks away. James had offered to drive me, but that felt too much like a date to me, so I made up an excuse.

Now that I thought about it, it did seem a little like a date. No, James specifically said hang out. We're getting coffee, that's a friend thing. Right? I guess I hadn't told James outright that I had a boyfriend but I had never made any moves on him or flirted. Everything I said to him implied friendship. It hadn't even crossed my mind. I hadn't even bothered to tell Ethan about James and my other new friends. They were nice, but I doubted they would be lifelong. James was more of a study buddy than even a friend and I was pretty sure he could tell that. Not that I would get a chance to tell Ethan at this rate, anyway.

I walked into the coffee shop and James was already sitting at a table, tapping his foot and sipping out of a big mug. I waved as I walked over and he sat up straight and ran his fingers through his hair. He always dressed nicely, but today he seemed to take extra care to pick out his outfit. Uh-oh. Was I missing something? Had I been so stressed out about Ethan that I missed his hints that this was a date? "Hey Viola!" He said, greeting me with a hug.

"Hey James, sorry I'm a little late. I thought it was a little closer." I said. I don't know what to do. Do I stay?

"Oh, you're right on time. I was early. How are you?" I should stay. I will just make it clear it isn't a date.

"Do you want the honest answer or the socially acceptable answer?" I asked with a laugh.

"The honest answer, of course. I didn't just ask for convenience." He said. James was the soft and caring type of guy. I really did like hanging out with him. Ethan was always so stressed out nowadays that he rarely asked me simple things like that. I didn't blame him, but it was nice to have someone care how my day was.

"Well… it's been a long couple months. School and work at the same time is killing me right now. I am excited for Christmas break."

"I feel you. My freshman year, I worked two jobs and took a full load of classes. But don't worry, I will help you through your classes. I really enjoy studying with you anyway." He said, a little shyly. I don't like where this is going. I decided to change the subject.

"So what do you get up to when you aren't at the university?" I asked. That should be a harmless enough question.

"I like to go hiking and I practice with my band on sundays and tuesdays." He said.

"You're in a band? That's so cool! What do you play?" I asked.

"I play bass and sometimes drums when my buddy Jack can't make it to practice." He said.

For a while, we talked about growing up around music and the music his band was working on. Most of what he said was too technical for me to understand, but I kept up as well as I could.

"Actually, we are looking for a background singer for a couple of our songs at the moment. This is a little weird, but I saw your mom tagged you in a video of you singing on facebook a few months ago. You're really good. I think your voice would fit really well with the songs." James said. Thanks a lot, Mom.

"Oh, really? Wow, that's embarrassing. But thank you, that's really nice. I don't know, though, I don't have a ton of free time. When would I have to practice?" I asked. That would leave even less time for me to potentially see Ethan, but it did sound fun. I was tired of sitting at home hoping he would finish videos instead of just having plans and sticking to them.

"You would only need to come in a couple times before we cut the record to learn the parts. They are pretty simple. We can work around your schedule, and it would probably be over break anyway." He said. I was intrigued. I needed to follow my dream just as much as Ethan gets to follow his. I needed a creative outlet and the thought of being on an album sounded amazing.

"You know what? Why not. That sounds really fun." I smiled at James.

"Great! I'll let you know when it's coming up. It should be fun." James said. We smiled at each other, but my smile faded as I saw some commotion outside. Someone was approaching the door with some sort of Spartan costume on. As he got closer, though, I realized it was two someones. Another guy followed behind, holding a camera to capture the moment. Ethan was coming here, right now, in a spartan uniform. It must be for losing a challenge.

One side of me immediately panicked that he would see me with James. The other half reminded myself that I was not on a date and that I was allowed to hang out with whoever I wanted. Ethan was busy, so I made other friends. It didn't matter if they were boys or girls, they were friends. I was always better at hanging out with boys anyway, Michael was proof of that. I stayed in my seat. I had no reason to hide. Ethan and I hadn't made plans. We barely even talked this morning.

He opened the door, Grayson just behind him, and walked up to the counter. He ordered a venti pink drink. Yep, this was for losing a challenge for sure. Grayson laughed at him as he waited for his drink. Ethan didn't even notice me. I almost wanted him to. I wanted his attention like I had when we first started dating. Out of his embarrassment, he avoided looking around, though. I continued talking to James so he wouldn't notice I was on edge. After a few minutes, Ethan and Grayson left as if I had never even been there. My coffee was gone, so I told James I had to get home but that I would text him soon.

The walk home felt way longer than the walk there. I blasted music in my headphones and sent a text to Ethan. "Can we please hang out soon?" I asked. I wasn't trying to annoy him, but I was tired of only dating him through text messages.

"I'm doing my best." He seemed annoyed. So am I.

"What happened to you wanting to spend every minute with me?" I couldn't stop my thoughts now. "I just hung out with a guy from school named James. He's really nice. He actually asks me about my day and works around his busy schedule to see me. But he isn't my boyfriend, you are. I talk to your fans more than I talk to you." Maybe I was a little harsh and shouldn't have brought up James, but I was flushed with anger and hurt.

"I do care about your day and I see you when I can. I have to film these videos, what do you want me to do?" He said. I looked up from my phone to see Ethan and Grayson across the street. Ethan had changed back into his normal clothes and he and Grayson were with a couple friends having lunch. After he sent a text, he looked back up and laughed at a joke one of them said. I guess I wasn't the only one who hung out with other people. If we aren't even making time for each other, why are we together? Maybe dating a youtuber isn't all it's cut out to be. I was about to storm over to him and ruin his lunch when I felt a drop of water fall from the sky and hit my face. I looked up, Rain began to fall lightly all around me. I breathed in deeply.

Rain. I thought back to when I first met Ethan. It all started with rain. Did this mean it was all supposed to end with rain. No. I didn't want it to end, I was just frustrated. I held out my hands and felt the rain slowly dampen my shirt and hair. Ethan had saved me that night. If it weren't for the rain bringing me to him, I don't know if I would have left the beach that night. It wasn't easy right now, but Ethan was my best friend. He had done so much for me. It wasn't his fault he was busy. I couldn't be mad at him for keeping his fans happy. That was his whole world.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just miss you. You're my best friend. Can I come over tonight? I'm sorry." I hit send and headed home before he spotted me standing across the street. I enjoyed the walk in the rain.

"Yes, I'll pick you up later." He replied. Finally. I changed into dry clothes when I got home and killed time until Ethan showed up. I ran to the door and pulled it open, leaping into his arms. He seemed surprised, but untensed after a second and held me tight. He missed me too.

"I missed you so much" I told him as he set me down. He smiled and kissed me.

"I missed you too, Vi. Always. I'm sorry it's been so crazy lately. I'll make more time, okay?" He said. I hugged him again.

"Okay, Ethan." I spent the night at his house that night and slept like a baby for the first time in months. Ethan saved me twice now. I was just glad to be in his arms again. When I woke up, I checked twitter and started liking people's tweets to me. I was glad to see their support now. Ethan woke up a few minutes later and turned me around so he could kiss me.

"Ugh, morning breath, Ethan!" I shouted. He just laughed and kissed me anyway. I wasn't even mad. "Can we go get breakfast?" I asked. He looked back at me, excited.

"You know what the means!" He said.

"PANCAKES!" We shouted in unison. That, of course, woke up Grayson too. He insisted we let him come too, so the three of us went to get breakfast together. Looks like everything is back to normal, I thought. Oh, how wrong I was.