THE DEBRIEFING

"So he cut off your ears?" Ulysses Hadrian Armstrong thought this was somewhat mirthful, though Mia Dearden and the young Robin were properly horrified.

"That's right, sir." Skimpole Skurfield-Blenkinsop reported distractedly. "My boss, the Pinstripe, he didn't want to fork over no third of his take, he didn't, and so the Quirk, he chopped the Boss's head off...

Yes, it was nasty, it was, an' then he cut off my ears, and m' buddy, the Snare, Quirk chopped off his nose...and Snare was a han'some dude, but he's jumped off East Gotham Bridge now...couldn't stand it."

Skimpole pulled the black stocking cap more over his head. "I heard that Rupert Thorne sent Noakes McNabb, the Bludhaven hitter, to knock the kid off, an' the Quirk sent Mac back to Thorne in fifteen separate coolers, like. One a day for half a month, and then Rupert Thorne paid big."

"And Arbuckle"Errant Arbie" Dill got tied on a 'lectric fence, an' Quirk threw water on him, and toasted him...then Arbuckle Jr., you know, Bloodthirtsty Buck? He went t' avenge his daddy, and the Quirk melted Buck into somethin' he called "cheese" and lay it all over Lincthum Avenue, it was gross and pink. Every thief an' gangster in town is freaked out, man."

The kids looked at each other. Robin was faintly amused, as Skimpole was a bit resentfully shy of the Bat Family, ever since the Red Hood had convinced his twin brother, Skinner, to give up hotel burglary in favor of running a respectable, if boring, newsstand back in 2012.

"The Joker is a nasty fuck, but he was never as ruthless as his, uh..."

"Offspring, yes." Robin said absently, scratching a zit between his nostrils and his mask. "Has anyone seen the Joker?"

Skimpole Skurfield-Blenkinsop shook his head. "He's gone to ground, th' clown has." There was a pause as he spat some chewing snuff on the floor. "I think the Joker pissed off his boy, an' it freaked him, when Quirk killed Harley Quinn."

Mia/Speedy spoke kindly to the bedraggled henchman.

"Well, Skimmy, we appreciate the lowdown on getting into your hide-out, and here's an introduction to Dr. Mellish over at Gotham General, he's a plastic surgeon, and can fix you up, give you new ears so you don't have to have that hat shoved over your head...and, like you can give up your life of crime now..."

Robin looked at Skimpole Skurfield-Blenkinsop doubtfully. But he really knew it...ears chopped off, prison, being shot at, it still didn't scare the aged thug as much as working a nine-to-five job...shit, even in prison you didn't work much.

"Think of it." Mia said with a nice smile at Skimmy. "Your boss is dead, and his head is being preserved in a jar. Why don't you go find something to do, something honest? After your new ears are attached, of course."

"Perhaps you can work with your brother at the newsstand." Robin said, trying not to smile.

Skimmy looked doubtful, but before he left, he assented to "goin' on a few interviews"

"He'd be better off dead. We should put him in front of a firing squad" The General said this casually...but it didn't seem to horrify the other two youths...Skimmy might be, ears or no ears, a lost cause.

MY EYES ARE UP HERE

Tim Drake smiled as he saw his friend Kara popping her gum, and rockin' to April Lavigne on her iPhone near the Gotham West Metro-Subway. Kara noticed him and they did a high-five, Kara holding back, much to Tim's relief, she could have gently tapped him to Jupiter.

"Kara how's-" Tim's head turned left. "What the hell's that?"

Kara ran a pink tongue through her Double Bubble. "Huh?"

"In the alley. There's a mangled guy in a um-cage or something."

Kara casually took her earbuds out , stroking a long blonde lock.

"Oh, right. This guy? He was wearing a cast-"

"He's not in a cast...he looks like he might need traction."

"Yeah. It was fake, but I didn't know that. He had one of those old plaster jobbies on his leg, and I was walking on Livingston towards South, you know, to meet you at Starbeans."

Kara paused and stretched, and Tim politely did not gape at her marvelous crop-top action.

"He (yawn) asked me to, like, help him 'cos he didn't-he broke his leg skiing or whatevs...he wanted me to help him put a crate or something in his car, and then when I bent over to help him, he hit me with-I guess you call it a tire iron-I don't think we had them on Krypton."

Kara took a strawberry lip gloss out of the pocket of her tight shorts and looked at it

meditatively.

"Hey, A.D.D. girl!" Tim reminded her, though he knew where the story was going now.

Kara wrinkled her adorable little nose at the gloss, must've gotten it on sale. She beamed at Tim. "Yeah, I feel this brush on my back, like a sting? So, and the tire iron thing is all bent up, and Cast dude is looking at it, and me, y'know, so he tries to hit me again with it, and I took the tire iron away from him and kind of slapped him."

"With the tire iron?"

"No, just with my hand. It was kind of a finger-flick."

"Are those all his teeth on the sidewalk?"

"Tim, please don't pester me when I'm talking. I think I'm premenstrual."

"Dude. Ugh. TMI."

"Yeah. I -after I flicked-"

"Flicked. Right."

"So judgey. Well, then I looked in the guy's van, and it was so gross, like four girls are in there, but in random pieces?"

Why do teenage girls always talk in questions, Tim Drake asked himself.

"So I used my heat vision to make a cage out of the you know, tire iron and put him in it. He doesn't like, seem to have woke up from when I tapped him."

Tim smiled. "I think you have caught the Lainbrooke Valley killer, he has been

all over the frickin' place, knocking off chicks."

Kara's big blue eyes were iridescent. "Uh huh. So what, do you want me to help you with the Joker's son, or -can we just go to the movies?"

Tim nodded. "I kind of wanted to ask you what you thought of the situation..."

Kara shook her head. "Tim, he's got green kripto over at his place. I flew around...the Quirk has found a way to turn it into an aerosol spray.

He got up on the roof -so creepy, his stripey skin-and whoofed me, and I hurled...so I can't really...and I don't strategize, you know?"

"I know. You're not a bimbo, but you have other focuses..."

"Yeah, well at least I'm not staring at my boobs. Hello!"