Written by: DeanLives

Summary: Dean not sure if Sam still loves him. He gets some help to see if Sam loves him. Read to find out what happens.

Warnings: Mpreg, Wincest, Character Death.

Disclaimer: Don't own any rights to Supernatural.

A/N: I tried my best to put in everyone's ideas. Thank for the amazing feed back. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 10

Sam finishes making a sandwich. "Dad I'm going to take this to Dean."

"Fine, Sam."

Sam opens the door to Dean's room. The room was dark and cold.

Dean watched the door open. He knows it's Sam from the shadow of his hair.

"Dean I brought you some food."

"Get out."

"Dean you need to eat."

"Out."

"Dean you need to eat to keep up your strengthen."

Dean pick up the tissue box on the night stand, throwing it at Sam but missing him on purpose. "I said Get Out!"

"Come on Dean."

"Out!" Sam left the room.

"Sam, what's doing on?"

"Dad he doesn't want me around him. He just told me to get and threw the tissues at me."

"Sammy let me talk to him. I'll get him to eat."

Sam gives John the sandwich. John walks in the room closing the door behind him.

"Dean you need to eat." He walks round the side of the bed reaching down to turn the lamp on.

"No lights." John turns the lamp on. Dean grabs the cord to the lamp unplugging it. "I said no lights!"

"Fine no lights if it makes you happy. But you are going to eat this sandwich. I'm not leaving until it gone."

"Fine." Dean eats the sandwich.

"Good. You know Sammy is just worried about you not eating and sleeping."

"I know."

"Why don't you want him in here."

"I don't want to look at him. That's why!"

"Dean you know that it was accident. He did mean it."

"I know! But every time I see him I just see that night all over. I know Sam would never hurt me or a child. But seeing him just reminds me of what I lost."

"I know you are hurting. But this isn't the time to shut out your family. This is we you need us most. So let us help you."

"You want to help. Then just leave me a lone."

"Come on Dean talk to me."

"Just leave."

"No."

"Get the hell out of here and leave me a lone!"

"Fine. You just rest for now. We'll talk later."

"Like hell we will."

John left the room ignoring the last comment.

"Dad how did it go?"

"I got him to eat."

"He blames me doesn't he."

"No."

"Yes he does. I blame me for my daughter's death."

"No Sammy. He said he knows you would never hurt him or a child. But it hurts him to see you. He just remembers that night when he sees you."

"God Dad. Will he ever forgive me?"

"Just give him time Sammy. Right now what's most important is time, time to heal. He will never really get over the lost of a child he will just learn how to deal with it. I know he knows she's in a better place. But he just need time a lone for now."

Dean stayed in his room that whole week only allowing John to come in. Sam didn't dare go in just in case he upset Dean. John always told Sam what happened in there. Dean wouldn't talk to John when he came in. John would try to get him to open up but he wouldn't. He just stayed to make sure Dean was eating which he was and sleeping.

John walks in Dean's room. "Dean, Sam and I going to pick up supplies if you need me or anything I have my cell phone and so does Sam. We'll be back in hour or so."

"Fine."

John and Sam left. Dean slowly got out of his bed. He stood next to the bed gaining his balance since he only had been getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Once sure that his legs were completely supporting him he walk to the door opening it slowly making sure John and Sam had left. Seeing they were gone he made his way to the stairs and up them. He walks in to the nursery to just see those two cribs staring back at him. Then all of sudden this anger came over him. He starts knocking off everything that on top of the changing table. He goes over to the crib pull the sheets off.

John comes back walking to hear a loud crash coming from up stairs.

"What was that?"

"I don't know." Seeing the door to Dean room open. "Dean!" Sam runs up the stairs with John following him.

Sam and John come to the room seeing Dean shaking the railing of the crib as he tries to pull it off.

"Dean stop!"

He turns to them. "I want her back."

"I know."

He picks up the pink blanket holding it. "I want her. I want to be able to hold her. I never got to see her. I don't know if she looked like me or you Sam." Sam takes step forward towards him. He just takes a step back. "I just want to hold her. Feel her little hands and feet." He falls to the ground on his knees to starts crying.

Sam walks over to him sitting down next to him. "Shh…It going to be alright."

"I killed her."

"You didn't kill her. I didn't if I wasn't an ass that night. You wouldn't have fallen on to the table and she would still bee here."

"No Sammy! If I had been honest from the start she would be here but instead I hid from you. I kept you from getting to know her. You found out you were going to be a father just to lose your child. This is all my fault."

"No! It's my fault. You would never have hidden it from if I hadn't slept with that woman."

John walks over to them. "Stop blaming yourselves. All that matters now is she in a better place. She is with your mother now."

"Dean he's right. It won't bring her back if we blame ourselves. You have had a long day. You should get some rest." He helped Dean to his feet. Now just realizing that there two cribs. "Dean why is there two cribs?"

"Um…I was going to have one moved to my room after the baby was born."

"Oh, okay."

Sam help Dean back to his room in to bed as John cleaned up the nursery. "Just rest."

"Sammy."

"Yeah."

"Please don't leave."

"Sure." He got in to bed with Dean. Placing his hand on Dean stomach. Dean removes his hand. "Oh, does it still hurt?"

"Ah… Yeah."

"Sorry." He rested his hand on Dean hip.

A/N: Please Review. Thanks for reading. Next Chapter: Thanksgiving and Dean voices some concerns.