Chapter Ten

Emma screamed.

Well, more of a squeal, Regina decided as the sound echoed off cavern walls. Shaking her head dazedly, she watched the other woman tumble backward, eyes wide, mouth gaping, deeply disturbed to realize she took absolutely no pleasure in the sight. In fact, it was — and she was loathe to admit this, even to herself — quite disturbing.

She hated the fact that Emma was upset.

Which was so not right. That was the sort of thing she was supposed to take great joy in. Instead, it was unpleasant and she was beset by the intense desire to make Emma un-upset.

Which felt almost painfully unnatural at the same time that it felt entirely right.

Which was vaguely similar to how she felt about the whole kissing incident, well, both kissing incidents actually, both of which should have been murder- worthy and instead had left her all tingly and happy, two states of existence with which Regina was not entirely comfortable.

Emma, meanwhile, was staring at her chest.

Which wasn't abnormal in the least, though she usually did it a bit more subtly, her technique more akin to her father's sidelong glances than her mother's outright stares. Regina was just drawing breath to make a snarky remark because, while she really did hate Emma's upset and want to un-upset her ... well ... she was still Regina Mills after all, and not making a snarky comment at a time like this. Not happening.

But before Regina could voice what she was sure would have been a witty remark of her usual quality and brilliance, something tickled right where...

Oh, hell, not again.

Then Emma's frantic scrambles grabbed her attention again, reminding her of the immediate danger.

Emma meanwhile, was busy not panicking in a panicky sort of way. Which is to say, she was valiantly telling herself not to panic, while in actuality, panicking quite thoroughly. Heart slamming in her chest, she scrabbled on hard stone, trying desperately to unholster her service weapon, which as luck would have it, was caught under her hip. Which, in reality, was probably for the best given the panic. She froze a beat later when Regina's voice, sharp with a note of command, echoed through the rocky space.

"Miss Swan, do not draw that weapon."

Emma looked up in time to flinch under the threatening scowl directed her way. "But ... in your sweater—" she mumbled, suddenly self conscious as it occurred to her that nothing much was actually happening.

Except, well, of course, for her panicking.

"Yes, Miss Swan," Regina drawled, "I would think that with as much time as you spend staring at that location..." Which Regina found exceptionally satisfying, and was another fact she was loathe to admit. "...there would be precious few surprises left."

"Funny," Emma grumbled, her cheeks suddenly bright pink, though how much was because Regina apparently had noticed her staring and how much was embarrassment over her startled screech and subsequent response, she really wasn't sure. "But there was something there ... and it's not anything that belongs," she added, her voice stronger now that she'd calmed a bit.

Full lips twisted into a smirk as Regina muttered distractedly, "Mm-hm," then abruptly shoved a hand inside the aforementioned sweater.

Shock held Emma silent, not due to any fear of what Regina might find, but simply shock because the sight of Regina — 'Her Highness' — Mills doing something so uncouth just didn't quite compute. The woman could conquer nations, flatten villages, and throw her enemies to the lions, but god forbid she use the wrong fork at dinner.

Still muttering under her breath, the former queen fished around inside her clothes for a moment, then abruptly plucked something out.

It was small, a bright shade of purple and appeared to have been conceived by the unholy union between a Hershey's Kiss and a rubber ducky, with a pointy, vaguely birdlike head, and elongated neck, rounded body with a little bump of a rump that wiggled gently as it dangled from Regina's fingers.

A dark eyebrow arched high as Regina studied the little creature, then let out a soft sigh. "You again," she said, her tone somewhere between exasperated and amused. "We're going to have to have a discussion about appropriate personal boundaries, aren't we?"

"Mrp?" the creature responded with a voice apparently pulled from the Disney Library of Adorable Sound Effects. It twisted in Regina's hold and though it had no discernible eyes, Emma had the distinct sense it was studying her. Finally, the soft voice came again, this time sounding both hopeful and pleading. "Mrrrp?"

Emma wondered if the tiny creature somehow knew they were kindred souls, because settling down inside Regina's sweater apparently appealed to both of them. She was, however, smart enough not to comment on that fact. Also shock may have had her brain a bit on the fritz. Finally, the miniature slime beast seemed to shrug before it swung back around toward Regina.

Regina made an irritated sound in the back of her throat. "Really? Trying to do an end run?" she complained as she lifted her small stowaway. Nose to beak, she glared.

"Mr-rp." The soft chirp started low and rose hopefully at the end like a small child trying to wheedle a different decision out of a stubborn parent.

Emma considered making a comment, then decided against it because ... well ... what could she say? So, she just stared. Really. That was it. Stared. Partially it was because she was still trying to throw off the shock of instantly going from hubba-hubba to oh-god-is-that-a-really-tiny-chestburster-like- from-Alien and partially because she just didn't know what to say about Regina — right-up-in-your-face-Mills — having a conversation about personal boundaries with a small purple gumdrop, particularly since the gumdrop appeared to be holding up its end of the discussion.

Then something creaked nearby, the sound seeming to come from inside stone walls.

"Oh hell," Regina hissed as her chin snapped up.

"mrp-oh," the gumdrop agreed, its tone worried.

"Regina, what's—" Emma started to ask only to be cut off by the sharp sound of a very large rubber band snapping, then suddenly Regina was swept up in a sheet of something glossy and purple. "REGINA!" she screamed as the other woman was hauled backward into the shadows.

A muffled call and a solid thump, maybe of a body hitting rock walls, spurred Emma to move, possibly faster than she ever moved before in her life. She found her feet and drew her weapon in one move, then hunted desperately for something to shoot at. Then she caught sight of something hidden in the shadows. Little more registered than its height and color — three feet and purple respectively, so definitely not Regina. She was just about to pull the trigger when Regina's roar echoed through the room.

"DON'T SHOOT!"

At the same time, the thing merged into the light in the strangest way Emma had ever seen. The shape faded, warped, stretched and a wave of shadowy purple surged forward, then the leading edge paused a foot or two short of Emma. The rubber band sound twanged again, and suddenly a larger version of Regina's gumdrop creature was standing there. It came roughly to her mid thigh, and as it tipped its head up, she saw that, while it lacked fixed features like eyes, nose and mouth, the surface of its glossy skin was mobile and it shifted and flowed into familiar shapes and expressions. Three dimensional 'eyebrows' appeared to rise, then settle into a frown as it continued to 'peer' up at Emma. The expression left Emma with the profound sense that she'd been weighed, measured, and found wanting, an instinct that was in no way lessened by the soft, "Hrmph," sound the creature made.

"Do. Not. Shoot," Regina reiterated the command, her tone sharp.

"Are you okay?" Emma called, still tracking the giganto-gumdrop out of the corner of her eye even as she hunted for some sign of Regina in the shifting shadows.

"Fine ... just a little..." Regina paused for a beat before continuing, "...it's complicated, but I'm fine."

Not exactly the most reassuring thing Emma had ever heard, but not a panicked cry of agony either. "You sure about that?" she demanded, still keeping an eye on the duck-like head as it tipped this way and that, seemingly still assessing her.

"Quite."

The toe of Emma's boot bumped something and light suddenly flared at her feet. Her flashlight. She ducked enough to grab it, then straightened, bracing the light alongside her service weapon to use as an impromptu tac-light. "Regina?" she called as she flashed the beam along the walls, hunting for the other woman.

"Here." The call came back almost instantly sounding a little stressed, but not pained or afraid.

Emma tracked the sound until the beam fell on Regina.

And then she panicked.

The brunette was hidden away in a low ceilinged niche on the opposite side of the chamber, sitting on the ground, her back against the far wall, legs folded against her body. Perhaps a dozen little slime beasts painted in a myriad of bright candy colors, were tucked into the space between her chest and upthrust knees and scattered across her shoulders. One was partially hidden under her hair and pressed tightly against her neck.

It was undulating ever so slightly.

And in the thin light, Emma thought she saw a spot of red smeared on soft flesh. Suddenly cute sound effects and adorable butt wiggles seemed more like threatening growls and a creature readying itself to pounce.

Her heart slammed into overdrive and she took aim.

"Emma!" Regina shrieked, hands automatically going up in surrender. "Put that away!"

"But those things—"

"Are very small ... whereas I am rather larger ... and even if your aim is good enough to hit one of them, it's still likely to go through it and hit me. And that's not even considering the very real risk of ricochet in this environment." Regina paused in her rant long enough to grab a breath. "Not to mention the fact that nothing has happened to warrant opening fire, and there are undesirable side effects to breaking the skin of these creatures. So please, Miss Swan, put the damn gun away."

"B-but that one on your neck. I think it's ... it's chewing on you, Regina—" she said, her voice quavering gently.

"What?" the queen demanded, and reached up, lightly brushing the one hidden under the fall of her hair. "I assure you, Miss Swan, it is not chewing on me."

It tumbled into her lap with a tiny squeal, then disappeared into a knot of other colored blobs.

"Is it blood?" Emma questioned worriedly. Maybe those things could deaden nerve endings and Regina didn't even know she was being chewed on. She'd seen some Animal Planet special on vampire bats and they could do that, chew on something without being noticed. At least she thought it was vampire bats. Or maybe leaches. Anyway, it was something horrible, creepy, and disturbingly fond of blood.

Regina rubbed at the red mark, then peered at her fingers before sniffing them. She turned a wry look Emma's way. "Strawberry jelly. I must have bumped something while looking at the overturned tables." She sighed softly and shook her head. "I am not being devoured by miniature blob beasts."

Which was good news, of course, but still... "Then what are you doing?"

Emma thought she caught sight of a very Regina-esque eye roll.

"Regina," Emma prompted when the brunette didn't answer, stress making her tone sharper than intended.

"Cuddling them," the former queen muttered at last.

Emma shook her head as she digested that word, then decided she couldn't have heard right because ... well, just because. "What?"

"Cuddling," Regina repeated sharply. "Snuggling, nestling, nuzzling, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera."

Only Regina Mills would answer with a thesaurus entry and a line from The King and I.

Having gotten what was literally the last answer Emma would have expected, she froze for a moment as her brain struggled to process the new information. "I ... uh ... why?"

"Oh, I don't know. I guess it just seemed like a good day to fall down a hole and snuggle a bunch of multi-colored gummi dots." Then, as if to punctuate the snark, she shoved her hand back down her sweater and retrieved a familiar purple blob. She lifted it until she was glaring into its tiny face. "Bad, bad Gumdrop."

It cooed and wiggled gently. If it had eyes, it would have been batting them.

Emma, meanwhile, wondered if Hook had finally done some ultimately horrific, desperate, please-wuv-me thing and her brain had given up and just broke. This couldn't be real. No way in hell Regina Mills could be snuggling adorable, candy colored creatures, while gently chastising one that was making cute-Disney- animal-ish sound effects in reply. A pit full of ... well ... pit vipers? Okay, maybe. But brightly colored slime beasts with painfully cute sound effects? No. Just ... no. "Ummm, Regina?"

"I'm fine," the brunette responded in her firmest, don't-you-dare-question-my-judgment voice.

Emma didn't need her superpower to know Regina wasn't being entirely honest. Without thinking, she took a step forward.

And ran solidly into a short, purple, brick wall.

Right. Giant gumdrop creature full speed ahead. Emma's gaze dropped to find glossy, mobile features shifting into an expression of narrow-eyed disapproval, without the actual eyes. Annoyed, she tried to sidestep around the thing.

Zip, snap, zing. The creature stretched, did its rubber-band-snap and slid into place blocking Emma almost instantly.

Another quick sidestep ended in exactly the same way, with the creature planted in her way. "Dammit," she hissed and used her foot to nudge it out of the way. Or rather tried to use her foot to nudge it aside. It was like trying to move a boulder with her little toe. In short, very unsuccessful.

It glared up at her and uttered a high pitched, faintly squeaky but distinct, "Hrmph."

Leaning down, Emma braced a hand against the creature's chest and gave a hard shove.

It didn't budge.

"Look," Emma growled in frustration. "I need to go talk to Regina ... over there." She gestured to indicate the brunette, wondering at her sanity even as she did so.

The little creature glared and made more grumpy sounds. Emma wasn't sure but she could have sworn it shook its head. Another quick attempt at a step-around resulted in another blocked path.

"Emma, maybe—" Regina began cautiously.

Emma cut her off, frustration making her tone harder than normal. "Oh, no," she ground out, then punched a finger solidly into the purple creature's chest in time with the rest of her response. "I am not taking orders from a giant, purple gumdrop." Everyone in town seemed to think she was a total patsy. Well, no more. She was putting her foot down and the giganto gumdrop could just deal.

The creature in question narrowed her 'eyes' while the shape of a mouth pursed. She ducked her head pugnaciously and uttered a soft, determined snort. There was some evidence to indicate she'd had her own special day and was in no mood.

"But—"

"No," Emma cut Regina off without looking up. Leaning down until she was nose to beak with the creature, she braced her left hand on the center of its chest and snarled, "Move."

"Hrmph," the creature growled and planted its butt firmly in the dirt.

Exhaling a soft sigh, Regina shook her head slowly. "This isn't going to turn out well," she muttered.

"Mrp," a small voice agreed.

Tipping her head down, Regina peered at the tiny purple head that popped up in the vee between her breasts. It hooked its nose/beak over the edge of her sweater and appeared to heave a sigh. "You again," she exhaled, her tone wry.

"Mrp mrrrpp," it murmured and shrugged as it studied the scene in front of them.

Emma grunted and Regina's head snapped up to check on the blonde.

"Mrrrp mrp, mrp mrp," the baby gumdrop commented thoughtfully.

"Fair point," Regina admitted. She briefly considered trying to remove the little creature, but her efforts had been utterly unsuccessful so far and her mind was on other things. "But Emma's clever. That has to count for something even against a low center of gravity."

"Er ... mrp."

"I know," Regina sighed, shoulders sagging as she worried her lower lip between sharp incisors.

Emma meanwhile, gave the creature blocking her path another solid shove.

This time it shoved back.

The creature ended up more or less where it started. Emma, on the other hand, stumbled backward and landed on her backside even as she lost her grip on her gun and it bounced away into the darkness.

Which was fine by Regina. Under the circumstances, better she not have access to firearms right now.

Cursing under her breath, Emma pushed to her knees and lunged. This time, she got an arm around the creature and put her shoulder to the task. It lasted a few seconds, then she went flying to land in an ungainly heap several feet away.

"Emma, I really think—" Regina tried to break in.

"I've got this," the blonde ground out, her tone only getting more determined as she pushed up on her hands.

"But—"

"I said I've got this," Emma snapped, her entire focus on her opponent.

Faced with the glaring blonde, the giant gumdrop replanted its hind end, squared its nonexistent shoulders, and pursed its beak into an expression of determination.

Then Emma hurtled at the creature, wrapping long arms around it and bracing herself in an effort to leverage it to one side. It darted out of the impromptu wrestling hold, but Emma grabbed it again.

Then the creature shook itself like a dog fresh out of water.

And Emma went flying. Her landing kicked up a puff of glowing dust and she skidded several feet before coming to a stop at the base of the wall she'd climbed down.

As it turned out, Emma didn't have this so much as this had Emma. Again.

"Emma," Regina called out. "Perhaps—"

"No," the blonde gritted as she pushed to a crouch and glared at her opponent.

"Mrp mrp mrp ... mrrrp mrpm," a small voice commented wryly from its comfortable berth inside Regina's sweater.

"I know," Regina sighed, wincing as Emma leapt back into the fray was sent sprawling almost immediately. The blonde tumbled, then used her momentum to bring her back to her feet. Despite the darkness and her own, undoubtedly aching body, the move was amazingly graceful, and Regina felt her heart give a solid thump. "She can be very stubborn," she allowed even as she tracked the blonde's every move. "But her heroic side really is quite..."

Emma flung off her jacket, muscles across her arms and shoulders rippling as she moved.

"...stunning," Regina exhaled, her voice several octaves higher than normal.

"Mrrr–rrrp?" There was a doubtful note to the tiny voice.

"That's hardly fair," she dismissed as she regained control. Trying to appear nonchalant, she shrugged. "It's just that I ... I find Miss Swan somewhat..."

Emma's blouse came untucked, and buttons went flying, revealing well-toned abs.

Regina swallowed hard. "...interesting."

"M-r-p?"

Emma flew by and landed on her stomach with an angry grunt, offering an excellent view of her well shaped backside inside of painted-on jeans. She was back up and moving in a heartbeat.

Regina fanned herself. "You'll understand one day." Eyes falling on the big gumdrop creature, she tipped her head to one side as she assessed its rather rotund shape. "Or possibly not."

"Mrp, mrp, mrp," the little creature grumped disapprovingly as it pursed its beak and rolled nonexistent eyes.

"Perhaps," Regina admitted breathlessly, her attention swinging back to Emma in time to see the flex and play of taut thigh muscle as she leapt again. "Though I think you're being a bit hard on her."

"Mrp."

Then Emma lost another round. She hit hard and slid, pretty much the same as before with one exception, this time she ran into Regina rather than the rocks on the opposite side of the chamber. She skidded to a halt, her shoulder braced against the brunette's calves. "Dear god, what is that thing made of? Lead?" She shook her head dazedly. "No matter what I do, it won't move." She abruptly realized it wasn't hard rock pressing into her shoulder and tipped her back, peering up and back. "Oh, Regina, it's you."

Tilting her head to one side, Regina found herself returning the crooked smile directed her way. "Yes, Miss Swan." Reaching out, she gently petted pale hair back from Emma's brow.

Green eyes narrowed to a squint as Emma tried to bring the world into focus without much success. It didn't help any that Regina was upside down from her vantage point. "And the gumdrop ... never did much like those ... they're really lousy movie candy. Movie candy should be chocolate..." she exhaled as she noted the tiny face peering over the edge of Regina's sweater. "Never thought I'd envy a purple gumdrop," she added under her breath.

The brunette offered a knowing smirk in response.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" Emma mumbled, an embarrassed flush crawling over her cheekbones.

Flashing a sly grin, Regina nodded. "You did," she confirmed, then gently eased the armful of multi-colored creatures on her lap aside.

"I may be a little out of it." Emma abruptly realized the little slime beasts were making all sorts of adorably affectionate sounds as they scattered on the floor around Regina. And really, she needed a new moniker for them because she didn't think slime beasts were supposed to bill and coo that way. They certainly weren't supposed to be quite so cute. Then Regina stroked her cheek with a single finger and she found she didn't care about slime beasts, large or small, as the other woman angled over her.

"You are amazing," Regina breathed.

"I don't feel amazing," Emma admitted, unused to being on the losing side of a fight. Meanwhile, her body throbbed, and not in a good way either — or at least mostly not in a good way, because with the way Regina was smiling at her, she'd have had to be dead three days for there to be no good way at all. "Actually, I feel kinda lousy ... everything hurts."

Her touch all tenderness, Regina carefully skimmed silky back from Emma's brow. "Perhaps I can kiss it and make it better," she drawled, something warm and impossibly deep swirling in dark eyes.

"Mrrp," an annoyed voice snarked from the vicinity of Regina's breasts.

"Oh, shush," Regina hushed and reached into her sweater to pluck out a tiny, rotund body. "Time for you to go play with your siblings. Miss Swan and I have adult matters to discuss." Then she set the little creature aside with the same care she would have taken in handling a newborn chick.

A wave of unexpected emotion slid through Emma as she watched the other woman's gentleness, touched by the side of her that she rarely showed in front of anyone other than Henry. She could use a little of that, and she said so out loud before she could think better of it.

Regina's answering smile was all teeth and triumph, but her tone was remarkably gentle and lightly teasing. "So no whips and chains?"

Faintly appalled the surge of heat that image induced, Emma nonetheless shook her head. The libido might be curious as hell, but the body was screaming in unholy terror. "Not for at least a week ... or ten ... maybe twenty."

Regina leaned a little closer, her breath warm on Emma's face, and drew a single finger along the arch of her brow. "I promise," she whispered. "I'll be gentle."

The libido and the body both liked that idea and in fact, were more or less high-fiving the whole proposition, not to mention the whole horizontal version of the upside-down-Spiderman-kiss thing looming. "So ... I ... uh ... um..." she stammered a moment later when Regina still hadn't moved, and continued to silently study her.

"Shhh," Regina hushed in a leisurely way. Then she was leaning closer, the heat and sweetness of her becoming more palpable with each millimeter she crossed between them.

Emma felt her heart contract, then burst into hard, hammering beats as soft lips drew closer. Her eyes slid closed, then she pressed upward, moaning low in her throat as her lips found cool velvet.

Very cool velvet.

Very, very cool...

A low growl broke in on her sensory confusion and her eyes snapped open. She found herself facing something very...

Very...

Purple.

And once again Emma screamed...