A/N: WOW OKAY TIME TO SPEED UP UPDATES YES INDEED.

Oh and happy holidays everyone. :D

Karkat and John: Seek the wizard. ===+

It had come as a surprise to John when the official gestured for him to follow Karkat through the pearly white doors. Apparently John's status as a "friend" allowed him to accompany Karkat for moral support reasons. If he wanted to, that is.

John had sheepishly risen from his seat and rushed over to Karkat's side. The troll waited for him to catch up before leading onward past a thick red curtain. Behind them, the doors were pulled shut with a solid whump.

The next obstacle was another red curtain. A third one draped beyond that. Then came a blue one, quickly followed by a final one in red. Karkat walked resolutely through them all like a man on a pilgrimage who knew that his place of salvation was only a few minutes ahead. John was right behind him, walking so close that he only had to duck an inch when the troll pulled the curtain fabric up and over his small horns. Neither one of them spoke.

The hallway stretched out in front of their eyes, its length and width expanding until it approached the dimensions of a room. Karkat caught sight of more curtains up ahead, colored a lime green. But this time the curtains drew back when they approached.

Six sets of cloth withdrew one after another to let the two young men proceed. The final veil opened slower, tantalizing them with a slow reveal of what lay beyond. And then suddenly there was nothing left to block their sight.

Karkat and John were standing in a large room, as expected. There were lavishly-decorated desks and drawing tables clustered near the sides, all covered in what looked to be topographical maps of Oz. Two whole bookshelves stood at the far wall, packed with books. Many of them were recognizable as famous works on strategy and ancient war heroes. Far to the right rested a table holding up advanced equipment and machines with bizarre designs. Unfortunately, none looked to be involved in Aspect-related tests at the moment.

The northern wall was indented with two large cases. One contained wands of all shapes and sizes from olden days to new. A large collection of impressive weaponry—mostly harpoons and firearms by the looks of it—ruled the neighboring display. One harpoon-rifle in particular had been left on the floor. Its blue chassis gleamed all the way up to its laser-pointed barrel. Karkat wondered if the gun's owner had been cleaning it right before they came in. They must have dropped it in an exceptional rush.

There was a certain degree of luxuriousness to practically everything in the room. The weapon and wand racks had obviously been maintained by someone who took great care with them. The lighting was at a level comfortable for Karkat's troll eyes, and the floor was as smooth and white as lusus hide.

Before Karkat and John could make a move, they were startled by a sound.

Wizard: Activate majykks. ===+

GONG

GONG

The opposite wall was inlaid with the most enormous and extravagant grandfather clock Karkat had ever seen. And it was GONG-ing louder than Karkat would have thought possible. The troll winced and covered his keen ears. Beside him John looked around the room, face tensing at the loud noise.

The clock struck thirteen times before falling eerily silent. Its hands spun rapidly around and around without a sound, as if possessed.

Then the lights went out.

John let out a small scream but was cut short by a captivating scene. The clock in front of them began to glow neon green before flashing scarlet, then bright blue, then scathing yellow and moving on to a blinding purple. The colors pulsed outward from the clock's face as the needles spun and whirled. Each tint followed the other so fast that it hurt Karkat's eyes to look at it. The whole spectrum of color collided and vacillated in a way that was impossibly chaotic while the cycle sped up until it was almost hypnotizing, casting a dazzling array of light over the human and troll's skins.

The clock continued its epileptic fit while the door in its chest opened. A thick fog hissed and spilled out into the room. It covered them in seconds. The flashing colors were absorbed into the mist, dulling slightly but pulsing all around them now. And then out of the fog something else appeared.

It was an orb, smooth and sleek as a cue ball, but several feet in diameter. Karkat could see dull shapes moving behind the fog—machinery working to wheel the heavy sphere out from the wall. The clock's psychedelic lights dimmed low as blazing cracks began to spread out over the huge white surface.

The orb shattered and burst with a blinding light. Karkat was forced to shut his eyes. He heard a yelp from John at his side and imagined the human doing the same.

After a few moments a gust of freezing cold air whooshed past his auricular flesh flaps. Karkat shivered as he felt the fog being blown away from them. Finally the glare through his eyelids faded to black. Slowly, Karkat opened his eyes…

And saw the face of what could only be a demon.

An enormous green head stood where the white cue ball had been. The orb was gone, likely broken into dust during the birth of its enormous occupant. Veins stretched over the bald scalp, showing through a non-existent layer of skin. The head's cheeks were horribly pronounced and jutted out like the bones of a skull, each marked with a blood-red circle. It had no nose. A single gold tooth protruded from the left side of its mouth followed by a row of scythe-like green fangs.

But its eyes. Its eyes struck panic deep down into Karkat's bloodpusher.

Heavy brow bones sagged over sunken eye sockets, much like those of a primitive human. But the sockets were full. Inside of them flashed a rotation of spheres in every color. Each had a number on the inside from one to fifteen, like billiard balls. The two "eyes" danced with different rhythms, at once more hypnotic than the clock and a million times worse. Karkat found it impossible to look away from the confounding sight. He was sure that those eyes were staring right into his soul.

The demon's skeletal jaw lowered and a Wicked voice boomed throughout every inch of the Main Room.

B O Y.

This was completely terrifying.

YOU THERE, it said. B O Y.

Karkat suddenly regretted letting John follow him.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO SEEK ME…

WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?

Was this…the wizard? Karkat tried to keep his hands steady as he held up his official letter of appointment, crumpled in his sweaty palm. He hoped that it would save their lives.

"I…I am Karkat Vantas!" he shouted at the demon head as loud and as brave as he could. "Come to see your, uh, Goodness by official invitation-"

Suddenly everything stopped. The head stopped its slow advance and froze still into one static image, like someone just had pressed "pause" on a film. Its horrible eyes spun dully in place. Even the throbbing pulses in Karkat's ears died down. The crazy patterns of color faded further until finally blinking off. After a few moments, normal ceiling lights flickered on and shone down through the green fog. Muffled clanking could be heard from somewhere out of sight.

"Karkat? Shit, I can't see vvery wwell from here…" came a voice.

And then came a troll, emerging from somewhere beyond the head's left cheekbone.

From the fins on his face Karkat could tell that he was a sea dweller. The new troll squinted at them through thick-rimmed black eyeglasses. His hair was slicked back and up in a dramatic hairstyle. His horns were jagged like lightning bolts and matched the violet symbol on his shirt. Karkat recognized the double crooked lines. It was the sign of Aquarius.

The sea dweller was scowling when they first caught sight of him, but soon flipped his expression into a wavering smile. He stepped forward to meet John and Karkat.

The troll's clothing was ridiculous: a long-sleeved shirt, horizontally-striped pants, bicolored shoes, and a striped scarf around his neck for some inexplicable reason. In addition to that, he also wore a majestic cape that reached down to the floor. The colors of his outfit were divided between blue, black, and a particular shade of violet.

He reminded Karkat of the asshats in school who flaunted their rank on the hemospectrum. Many trolls who were proud of their ancestry or personal identity would wear clothes or makeup in their blood color. Doing so projected an image of self-confidence and pride in who you were. Plus, for many it was just easier. You had to wear your designated symbol anyway, and that was almost always in your own color anyway. Clothes in your hemotone would also match your eyes and blush (or so many troll girls claimed). Even lowbloods did it, although they were usually much more sensible and subdued. Highbloods were notorious for going overboard.

Such thoughts were brought to Karkat's mind as he stared at the other troll and his pompous cape. Yup, that had to be his own personal shade of sea-dweller-blood purple. There was even a violet streak in his hair!

"Wwell wwell wwell…" the troll began.

Oh Goodness that was a terrible word to use three times in a row with that accent. At least, it sounded like a seadweller's accent.

Many seadwelling trolls had unusual-sounding speech compared to landwellers. Their vocal systems were built to be functional (more or less) in the ocean, and talking underwater was very different from talking above ground. It involved certain muscles and required particular sounds that landwellers either could not or did not make use of as often, if ever.

It was equivalent to someone from a foreign country speaking with their native accent for a period of time, due to the influence of their mother tongue. After a few years seadwellers could begin to reform their accents to the native dialect. But most seadwellers took their out-of-water speech patterns in stride, treasuring the extra stutters, pops, clicks, and glubs from their highblood-exclusive language. They took pride in the fact that a general sea dweller's accent was often described as "wavy".

Still, this terribly dressed sead weller had a "vvery wweird accent" indeed.

"Sorry for startlin' you," the troll said. "Didn't realize wwho you wwere. Noww…" he peered at the two visitors through his glasses. "Wwhich one 'wwiz' wwhich, eh?"

Either by skin color or by species, he soon recognized his actual visitor. "Kar!" The seadweller gave Karkat a welcoming handshake. "So wwonderful that you're here. I can't wwait to get started wwith you. An your…companion is?"

"My name is John!" John said as he thrust out his hand for the same greeting. "John Eggbert, two 'g's like the breakfast food, future Heir of Breath, almost-best friends with Karkat!"

"Oh…." The sea dweller's voice carried a clear hint of resentment towards this unexpected company. But John's enthusiasm buried his disapproval under a tidal wave of admiration. After a few moments the new troll broke away from John's very hearty handshake, saying something about a fogging device that needed to be shut off.

Karkat and John moved a few steps over to watch as he slipped around behind the giant head. From this side they could see a glimpse of one huge pipe, thick as a tree trunk, connected deep into the back of the skull. The seadweller tossed aside a green curtain hanging down from the large metal shaft and stepped through. The cloth swept back into place behind him, camouflaging whatever hidden chamber he had withdrawn to.

With that, Karkat and John were left alone to stare at their surroundings.

The room looked dramatically different with the lights on. Now Karkat could see that the white ball hadn't shattered. Instead, it had opened up like an Easter egg to reveal the horrifying puppet-like head. A row of spotlights hung over them. No doubt some had been used to project down images of fiery cracks splitting across the orb's surface. Then the giant green skull had erupted while they were blinded, born from a masterful illusion.

Karkat gave it a brave poke with his sickle. The head remained sinister and demonic even after the grand unmasking. He could see that wires and gears were responsible for most of its movements. Working from inside the skull, they created the appearance of autonomous activity. He could see some wires running back out of sight, connecting to all of the largest and most complex equipment hidden away behind the cranium.

A section of the back wall had actually moved out to follow the display. The large metal pipe pierced out from the blackness and straight on through the moving section of wall as if it were a lance. Just a few yards behind the head stood this large backing of machinery.

No longer hid by the disorienting lights and other distractions, the dramatic technological display seemed almost…pathetic now, to be honest.

Still, Karkat thought, that had been like nothing he had ever seen. He could understand why rumors said that the wizard was really powerful and scary. It was strange that no Aspect-related skills were involved in this facade, but that must simply be a credit to the wizard's magnificent abilities. Maybe he didn't want to show off. Or perhaps the mysteries of machines had become more appealing to him after a lifetime of magic tricks.

Karkat's ears registered the loss of a faint whirring noise. In all of the confusion he hadn't noticed the sound begin. Although the fog machines had been turned off the tinted mist still hung low around the edges of the room. With a swish, the other troll reemerged into their sight.

Karkat eyed him with scrutiny. But apparently this…sea dweller just orchestrated it all from behind a curtain?

Eridan: Be the wwizard. ===+

"I knoww wwhat you wwere thinkin'. 'A bit much', isn't it?" the sea dweller said, looking morosely at the giant head and its wires. Apparently he had seen Karkat and John staring at the room's wonders. "But people expect this sort a thing from a great an powwerful wwizard. It's necessary, really. An I aim to please my loyal subjects…"

"Actually," he added. "I almost nevver meet land-, er, meet people as myself. But this is a special exception."

Karkat and John looked at each other in confusion.

The sea dwellet adjusted his scarf and continued, "Noww that that embarassin' fiasco's ovver, wwe can get on wwith our livves. I hereby officially wwelcome you to the Wwizard's Hivveblock, an my owwn glorious Ruby Cityhub—the most magical place in all a Oz!" He swept one hand around the room, palm up. Multiple golden and violet rings encircled his fingers.

"An I am the one and only, greatest magician in the land…your vvery owwn Wwizard a Oz." He took a bow.

So it was him! "It's…It's such an honor to finally meet you," Karkat found the words to say. All his misgivings about the troll's strange, mechanical welcome disappeared. He was with the wwizard! At long last!

Karkat's grubhood idol beamed at him. "An I'm so happy that you're happy to be here, Kar. See, that's wwhat I'm here for—to establish hope and progress throughout Oz!"

The wwizard began to explain:

I am a sentimental troll,
Wwho alwways wwanted to be…lovved,
So it's unavvoidable that I,
Treat each troll an man of Oz,
As my owwn child or grub,

Karkat had to elbow John to stop him snickering at the "wwizard's" bubbly pronunciation.

Then the sea dweller extended a hand towards him. Karkat looked up to find the wwizard's eyes locked on him with an intense gaze.

Noww Kar it's time for you to Rise Up high ,
'Cause truly, evveryone deservves to hope they'll fly!
An helpin' you, Kar, to Ascend,
Wwould be somethin' so…monumental,

For I am,
A sentimental troll

He allowed his words to hang in the air, even closing his eyes for a moment. He seemed very pleased with himself.

"What's does he mean, 'sentimental'?" John whispered to Karkat.

"I think that's like…getting stupidly emotional about things. Or people. Or about people's potential success in this case, I don't really know jackshit," Karkat whispered back before turning to address the wwizard.

"Your Ozness," he began. "Being here is the best thing that's ever happened to me in my whole sorry shitheap of a life. And I…I'm so grateful for your help. I promise that I won't let you down. But me and John didn't come here just for us, you see."

"Yeah!" John exclaimed. Then he looked at Karkat in confusion. "Wait, what?"

Karkat ignored him. He took a half-step closer to the wwizard. "There is something fucking terrible happening to the lusii in Oz-"

"Oh, please," said the wwizard. He waved Karkat's warning away with a dismissive flick of his hand. "Just wwho do you think I am?"

When they did not answer, he went on. "I'm the great Wwizard a Oz, a course! Howw can you expect to explain your quest to me…wwhen I already knoww wwhy you're here?"

Karkat and John both let out impressed "Ooooh"s at the same time, making Karkat feel very stupid.

"I can solvve all a your problems quick as a spark," the wwizard promised. "But first…you must do somethin' to provve your wworth."

Karkat was caught off-guard. He hadn't been expecting a test now, after so much.

But John spoke ahead of him. "Of course, Mister Wuhwizard!" The human clapped Karkat on the back and stepped away to give them space. "Prove yourself, Karkat," he said.

Karkat felt a pleasant rush of energy stir in his chest. He never had a friend encouraging him from the sidelines before. It felt almost like a little candle, giving him hope and strength with its light.

Karkat had come so far and the time was at hand. He could not imagine failing now. "How?" he demanded. "How should I prove myself to you?"

"Oh, I don't knoww," sighed the wwizard, obviously just pretending.

Maybe Karkat could cure his ridiculous stutter.

"Some sort a somethin', the seadweller mused. "Just for showw. A spell that wwill test your adeptness…"

His eyes gleamed. "I knoww. Fef, bring us the book!" His cape snapped as he turned to address the far door.

Feferi: Bring them the book. ===+

The white doors opened to reveal a slender figure. "Right here, Eridan!" came a voice punctuated by a thrilled glub. The person advanced at an energetic pace, the floor echoing slightly with each step they took.

John and Karkat whipped around to gawk at each other. That voice …the glub…their excitement…"Fef"...

"Madame Peixes!?" Karkat yelped, while John cried out "Headmistress!?"

Feferi Peixes smiled at them with pink-painted lips. Her outfit had changed. She had gone from pastel-and-fuchsia school robes and skirts to a sleek black bodysuit. Her royal purple sign was incorporated into a design curving down her sides. A mass of black hair flowed freely behind her back and onto the floor. It looked to be even longer than when Karkat had last seen it.

For once, she was not carrying her trusty golden trident. The Headmistress's left hand was instead occupied with a book even thicker than the standard Encyclopedia of Classes and Aspects. It looked like it was heavy enough to knock a person out, or at least give them a pretty good blow to the head. She kept the tome tucked securely under her arm. In her right hand Feferi clutched a small white animal.

"Shello!" she greeted them. "It's fintastic to catch my two minnows out of school." Feferi shifted her grip on the book, wedging it between her hand and elbow and pressing it to her chest. Despite its colossal weight she seemed to have no difficulty holding it.

"The lovvely Miss Fef an I are…quite close you see," said the wwizard. "She's been wworkin' wwith me, helpin' out wwith all sorts a important poofy magical business. Also, she's been supportin' me through all a our 'improvvements' to Oz's internal affairs. Fef's the best business partner I could ask for."

He was staring at Feferi meaningfully now. "An maybe evven…somefin moray."

Karkat had to suppress a shudder. He still respected the wwizard very much but the way this guy was looking at Feferi was…embarrassing. It was a gaze brimming with desire of the quadrant kind. His affections for her were so blatantly obvious that it was making Karkat feel awkward. And had he been making fish puns before? He must have been trying to gain her favor with them. It was a common thing between quadrantmates to absorb small bits of each other's speech patterns.

Even worse, the sea dweller seemed to think he was being totally smooth and subtle. Ugh. Karkat couldn't blame the Headmistress for looking uncomfortable.

"We're moirails," Feferi snapped. She quickly softened her words with a smile. "Anyway, you two here are the first to know—I'm planning to move into a connected Royal Hiveblock within the sweep. Eridan here insists," her expression became resentful again. "…He says that it's about tide I take a higher position as my reward for everything. So, reel soon I'll be stationed here with the wwizard! And everyone will call me their 'Empress'," she gloated.

John and Karkat gave their congratulations, the human saying that he would miss having such a cool Headmistress. Moirails, hmm? Karkat had watched way too many romcoms to be fooled by that steaming heap of sliced lunch-meat (also known as troll bologna). Feferi could say whatever she liked. Karkat had a huge hunch that Eridan's pale feelings were tinged with another color the shade of Karkat's own mutant blood.

"What I mean, Carpkat, is that I shore hope you serve the wwizard well," concluded Feferi. "He is a most generous master. Master of Aspects, I mean." She giggled. "You cannot hope to beat Eridan in a wizard-off. He is shrimply the best there is!"

The wwizard stood to his full average height at her words and puffed up with pride.

Karkat: Prove yourself already. ===+

Karkat had made his decision long ago. He felt like he been dreaming of this moment since the day he was hatched. He was ready. Nothing would stop him now.

"What do I have to do?" Karkat said, getting them back on track.

"Howw wwonderful a you to ask, Kar," said Eridan. "Givve it here, Fef." He took the small white animal from Feferi. It let out a soft 'moo'.

"Say hello to our domesticated lusus, Tinkerbull." Eridan patted the bull lusus on the head as he spoke. "Poor, swweet, dear, precious Tinkerbull. He's been such a good companion for us through all a these years, an I think it's time wwe givve him somethin' in return." His smile was more like a smirk. "Just a little rewward, really."

"Eridan was hoping you could use this—" Feferi held up the colossal book, "To cast a certain Breath spell. Just a little windy thing, reel-ly."

"Jeepers," marveled John. "Is that…the Daunting Text?"

"Yes, a complete copy."

John gaped at the book like it was a minor god descended unto Oz. Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery…the original, largest, and unparalleled best guide to the most complex and deepest use of the Aspects. Modern-day sorcerers still consulted it and attempted to decipher its wisdom long after the master's time had passed.

Of course the wwizard would have a personal copy. Never before had the boys seen another tome to rival its might. John could hardly believe his eyes. It brought back memories of his father telling him that their family, the Egberts, was distantly descended from the Jokesmith. It wasn't yet clear to John whether his father had been telling the truth, or just telling a joke worthy of the dead master himself.

John reached out for the holy text of wizardry, fingertips trembling in awe. "Can I touch it?" he whispered softly, tenderly, reverently, the words echoing far and true into the darkness upon the face of the deep.

The Empress's grin never faltered as she leaned towards the human. She whispered back, "No."

Karkat found an extremely heavy book suddenly unloaded into his arms.

The troll had to set down the Daunting Text on a nearby desk before he was able to open it. After a few moments of page turning, he found the selected entry. "What…the fuck is this supposed to be?"

"Wwritin'", said Eridan.

"Illegible, incomprehensible writing," Feferi clarified. She frowned. "As bad as the language of Horrorterrors from the Furthest Ring of nightmares. Even extremely gifted Seers of Void cannot reed it fluently. Most of these spells will pike-ly never be fully deciphered. But we can kelp you with the one we want you to cast," she offered. "Sea my translations at the stern of the book."

While Karkat flipped through pages, Feferi continued. "Don't get discouraged after the first few tides trying it, dear. I had a unique hereditary psychic link with the most dangerous of sea monsters when I was young, on Alternia. My lusus's whispers gave me a very limited under-sand-ing of…" she trailed off as a new sound filled the air.

Karkat had started to chant.

"Glub," went Feferi.

Karkat: Read the Text. Be the Sorcerer. ===+

Eridan gave a little shriek and placed the bull lusus down on the floor before backing away. "Tinkerbull…wwhat wwonders awwait you?" he said, looking over Feferi's shoulder.

Since one day I myself came from the sky,
I think evveryone should hope one day they'll-

"MooAEI-" A cry of pain leapt from Tinkerbull's throat. The small lusus kicked its four hooves and began to writhe terribly on the floor. Its tail lashed wildly and its horns knocked against the ground with each swing of its head. The lusus fell over hard onto its back, on purpose it seemed, more than once.

"Oh god," Karkat shouted. "Goodness I…what did I do wrong?"

"Nothing, it's perfect!" Feferi responded. "He's changing."

"Tinkerbull, what hurts? Answer me! …Why can't you talk, dammit?!"

"Good God, Karkat, look!" John yelled. Tinkerbull had flopped over one final time, exposing his back to them. Sprouting from his shoulders was a pair of quadrusected fairy-like wings.

Karkat screamed at the unnatural sight. He turned back to the Daunting Text and began frantically searching through it. "Empress, tell me how to stop it!"

"You can't!"

"What?"

"You can't reverse a fin-ished spell, Karkat! It's a thing now! I told you," Feferi's voice became silky and smug with pride. "I told you that he had enough power, Eridan. I knew he would do it-" Her voice was the sing-song tone of a siren.

Karkat stared at the two other trolls in disbelief. "You…wanted me to do this?"

"It's for the everyone's Good!" Feferi exclaimed. "And that means your Good as well, Karkat." Her voice twisted with scorn. It became an unfamiliar sound, ugly to Karkat's earcaverns. Her sweet grin had become warped and Wicked, lined with teeth like knives.

"An that's not all," Eridan announced. "Take a fuckin' look!" He drew a slim white wand from his sylladex and pointed it upward. A blast of white light shot from its tip (mechanical light, Karkat thought dimly, not magical light), and Karkat recognized the terrible clang that followed as that of a cage door being opened. It had become a familiar sound to him by now.

A few seconds passed before the first lusii began to fall from the sky.

They came from a sort of chute high up above, tumbling out of the metal hole and crying out in surprise. A whole cloud of Tinkerbulls descended towards them. Karkat's instincts screamed at him to catch them but before he could, the sight of many small white blurs all buzzing to life at once stopped him. All of the bull lusii…they all had identical tiny wings, flapping clumsily but luckily with just enough lift to break their fall. Their chorus of confused and anguished moos was like a blade carving up Karkat's heart.

Eridan and Feferi were giddy with glee at the sight.

"Ahh, one mutation has given us another," The Empress sighed dreamily.

"Simply amazin'…amayzin'," Eridan repeated. "No one wwill be able to doubt my powwers wwhen I shovve a bona fide miracle like this in their face."

"Oh, quit carping about your stupid bluffing magic tricks! I say we make them spies." Feferi's eyes gleamed with delight. "They'll just fly around Oz…and they're so cute, no one would suspect them."

"Spies?" Karkat cried out.

"You're both right," Eridan agreed. "Let's call them 'wwatchers' instead. They can fit right in wwith the enemy. They'll be able to easily report any subvversivve activvity a those filthy animals."

"I shall spread our Tinkerbull spies around the Lands like frosting!" Feferi laughed triumphantly.

"…What are you saying?"

Karkat's soft voice cut through their celebration. The two trolls turned to face him.

"It was…it was you. It was both of you behind all of this fucking madness," Karkat said, eyes wide with revelation. "How…how could you fucking do this? How the fuck…you…you…"

Another revelation caught his breath again. "You can't…read this book at all. That's why you needed me. And you can't use Aspects either, you have to pretend, and use spies and enemies and, and fucking cages-"

"Kar." Eridan the wwizard looked at him with disapproval. "You're bein' stupid. Wwhen I arrivved in this land, trolls an humans wwere at odds. Tensions wwere risin' more evvery day. Confusion an turbulancy wwere so bad that many felt any kind a peace at all wwould nevver be possible. Kar, I swwear wwe wwere headin' towwards wwar. An you can guess howw bad for both sides that wwould havve been."

"I savved this planet from obliteration," declared Eridan. "It's been demonstrated ovver and ovver again through history by the most successful a conquerors that the best strategy for unitin' people…is to givve them somethin' to unite against."

But Karkat was beyond his words. "I understand now!" Karkat roared. His cherry red eyes flashed with pain. "You're one of those people. The ones who don't believe in Aspect powers, who think it's all some assbackwards, BULLSHIT version of science! You…"

All of his rage evaporated in an instant. The storm blew itself out. "You have no power," said Karkat in a hollow voice.

"Ding-ding, correct," the wwizard admitted easily. His violet eyes were cold behind the frames of his glasses. "An that's wwhy I need you. Don't you both understand?" Eridan sauntered over to where John stood and held out a hand.

"I'm givvin' you the wworld. By my side, your opportunities wwill be unlimited. Nothin' is too much. Aren't I generous?" He no longer looked like a wizard to Karkat. Instead, he looked entirely like a mad scientist.

"Uh…" John stammered. His eyes flicked with concern over to the flock of taurean lusii. "Thank you, Mister Wizard?" He reached out tentatively.

Eridan smiled and grabbed John's hand in his own. "Then let the past rest in the past, and look towward a hopeful future."

He kept hold of John and extended his other arm for Karkat to join them, saying:

The twwo of you, it's time you Rise Up high,
Yes! The time has come for you,
To finally-

"NO!" Karkat bellowed. A small magic shockwave rippled through the room, making the others flinch. He ran from the room in a blur of red and gray.

"Karkat, STOP!" Feferi withdrew her trident and tossed it at the troll's cloak, but was too late. She missed.

"Karkat- oh my Goodness," John gasped, slipping out of the wwizard's grip. Their former Headmistress had just tossed a weapon at his friend! "I'm so sorry, Mister Wizard! I…I should go get him." He also left the room running.

"Fuck!" Eridan swore. He turned to Feferi. "Wwe can't let them escape. They knoww our plans."

"He thinks he'll be the big fish that got away," The Empress hissed. "Call the guards, Eridan!" With a blast of genuine Aspect powers and some prodding from her retrieved trident, she corralled the swarm of Tinkerbulls up out of sight. Then she fled out the door.

As soon as Feferi left the lights dimmed. With a shudder, the terrifying Wizard of Oz awakened once more.

GUARDS, it howled in vengeance. GUARDS.

"Yes, your Goodness!"

A TRAITOR IS WITHIN OUR WALLS.

FIND HIM.

ARREST HIM.

AND BRING THE MUTANT TO ME.

Ending A/N: Major major thanks to green_sweater on Archive of Our Own for finding me some Wicked scripts. Without them this fic would have been discontinued.

"Of course, some people still stubbornly insisted that there was no such thing as "magic", and that it all could be boiled down to simple science instead. But no one really believed them." –Chapter 3