Their kiss is interrupted by a thump coming from the balcony.
Talia pulls back slightly. "Is that what I think it was?"
"Afraid so." Comes Selina's neutral response as she gazes at something over Talia's shoulder.
Talia watches Selina's expression turn from neutrality guarded to amused. "I think we made him trip. Dick managed to land on his feet although his face resembles a tomato. I don't see any others."
"I don't suppose that they're leaving?" Talia askes tiredly.
"No such luck."
Talia reluctantly pulls herself away from Selina, briefly admiring how her girlfriend looks in the black silk robe she had on, before turning to face the interlopers.
Bruce is stone-faced and standing on the balcony just outside the open doors with Dick one step behind him looking somewhat apologetic but determined. Either they were already on their way here to talk to Selina or Talia's detour past several traffic cameras on her way to Selina's apartment paid off.
"Your interrupting." Ice practically drips off Talia's words.
Dick looks slightly embarrassed but Bruce's expression doesn't so much as twitch.
"Why are you in Gotham?" Typical.
"It's not obvious?" She counters. She can hear Selina's muffled laughter behind her.
For a few moments, Talia and Bruce just glare at each other, then…
"You're together?!" The disbelief in Dick's voice is almost comical.
Selina's laughter is far less muffled as she drapes her arms around Talia from behind and rests her head on her shoulder.
"And it only took them three years to figure it out, world's greatest detectives." Selina's words are tinged with mirth, enjoying every second of this.
Dick looks even more startled by that information while Bruce was doing his usual impression of a stone wall.
"But- She's- You- How-" Dick shakes his head. "That's not why we came here." He says weakly. Clearly trying to regain some mental footing in the face of this new revelation.
Bruce steps in. "Last week there was an attack on one of our assets, what do you know about it."
Talia suppresses a smile. They're fishing, she could leave them empty-handed and send them back to the drawing board, or throw them a whale and lead them on a snipe hunt.
It takes only a second to chose the latter. "You're referring to Jason's attack on the Clocktower. He pulled that off quite well, didn't he. I assume the fact you're here means that you can't find him and that you think I had something to do with it."
"Jason got past Barbara's security system?" Selina sounds genuinely impressed, speaking before Dick or Bruce had a chance to continue their attempt at an interrogation. "Think I could borrow him for a few projects I'm working on?"
Dick anger was immediate. "He tried to kill her!"
"If he wanted her dead she would be," Talia says staring him down. "He tracks down his target and eliminates it, I didn't train him to do any less."
"You trained him to kill," Bruce growled. "You kept him from us when he should have been home."
Talia's eyes narrow. He wants to go there? Fine.
"You think that I could have stopped him if he wanted to leave if he wanted to return to you? You think anyone, anything could stop him?" Talia takes a step forward, removing herself from the warms of Selina's arms.
"Jason cannot be held against his will, he will free himself. Any situation, any circumstance, any obstacle, he will overcome it. He doesn't know how to do anything else. If he did he would have been long dead before you ever came across him. He doesn't need my help. He didn't need my help getting around your defenses and he certainly didn't need my help escaping from Arkham."
"It's so easy for you to blame me for decisions he came to all on his own, saying that I brainwashed him into becoming the Red Hood. Please, I wouldn't have survived the attempt. If I had tried to twist him into something he didn't want to be he would have killed me. A physical cage or a cage of the mind it doesn't matter it will not hold him. Not even my father would risk turning Jason's wrath upon himself."
"Whatever Jason is doing now it is of his own volition and without any assistance from me. Whether you believe that or not it makes no difference to me, as interrogating me has no effect on whatever plan Jason is working on now. Now if you two are quite finished, I believe we were in the middle of something and that you two are interrupting."
Selina steps forward, wrapping her arms around Talia once again. "And if you would be so kind as to pick up that planter that you knocked over on your way out," Selina says, her words far too sweet to be interpreted as anything other than a threat.
Talia swears she can hear Bruce's teeth grinding. "If I find out that you had anything to do with Jason's attacks..."
"Yes, yes, we're both very familiar with promises that you don't keep. Now if you'll excuse us." Talia says as Selina smothers laughter into her shoulder.
Dick retreats first with Bruce a second behind him, both disappearing into the night. Selina shuts the door behind them and draws the curtains.
Talia lets out a sigh. "What are the chances that they actually left?"
"Nil," Selina says turning to face Talia. "We'll have to check for bugs later but for right now I have a few ideas on how to get rid of out eavesdroppers."
"Oh really?" Talia says reading the look in her girlfriend's eyes. "What do you have in-"
Selina tackles her before she can finish her sentence.
Barbara mutes the feed from Selina's apartment and leans back in her chair. Bruce had managed to drop a bug just inside the doors that lead in from the balcony but she has no doubt that it will be destroyed once Selina and Talia are done 'catching up'.
Barbara drops her attempts at a straight face and dissolves into laughter. She had known that something was up when Batman had tripped over the planter but this? Talia and Selina are together and have been for years? Listening to Bruce try to stay on mission while on full emotional shutdown from the revelation that his two ex-girlfriends are together and scheming. Add Dick's usual tact in the face of any relationship drama ever and being a fly on the wall had never been so much fun.
She finally smothers her giggles. "So, how long do you think he's going to sulk?"
"A week at least." Comes Tim's response from behind her. "In between throwing himself into trying to find Jason in an attempt to distract himself."
Jason. She reluctantly pushes thoughts of Talia and Selina's relationship aside and turns to face Tim.
"Have you found anything?" She's not holding out hope.
Tim shakes his head in frustration. "Nothing, one second he was here and the next he's completely dropped off the radar. It's just like his escape from Arkham a year ago. We can figure out where he was but then the trail goes cold." He begins to pace. "I just don't understand how he did it the first time. Escaping Arkham grounds in the middle of a riot is one thing, but getting to the mainland and going to ground without being caught in a single security camera or accessing a single resource? Then appearing in the Clocktower, one place he shouldn't have been able to access, without any warning signs and being able to escape right out from under us again? Something's not right. We're missing something. Something big."
Barbara watches Tim pace. The damage done to the Clocktower had been repaired within 48 hours and her systems were back online within 24 hours. Looking around it was almost like nothing had happened, combined with a complete overhaul of her security system it was almost starting to feel like home again. Almost.
It wasn't the fact that Jason had attacked her that made her feel uneasy in her own stronghold. It was the fact that she hadn't seen it coming. From Jason's first escape from Arkham to his reappearance in the Clocktower to his second escape from the ruins of the Clocktower she had missed something. Looking back now the blind spots were obvious but she still didn't know what she was missing.
He had thrown himself over her as the charges detonated, protecting her in his injured state. Talia was correct, if Jason wanted her dead she would be. He had the perfect opportunity to kill her and he didn't. He was never after her, he just wanted to destroy her systems. He said it wasn't personal and he was telling the truth. They had assumed that it was so he could launch an attack on the Batfamily or some other target without her all-seeing sight tracking him down but a week had gone by and nothing. Her systems are back up and running and she can't find any trace of him. What Jason did while her systems were down is still a mystery. The same way his whereabouts after his escape from Arkham remains a mystery.
Wait, that's it!
"You've figured something out, haven't you?" She looks up to see that Tim has stopped pacing and is watching her expectantly.
"I have a theory but it doesn't leave this room." She says her mind rocketing ahead with this new revelation. "Don't tell Bruce or Dick about this, I want to make sure I'm on the right track before we bring anyone else in."
"Now I'm interested." Tim drops into the seat next to her.
"We don't know anything about Jason."
Tim shoots her a confused look. "What are you saying?"
"Think about it. We assumed that he was going to go on the attack after escaping from Arkham but after a year of silence he reappears once only to disappear again. We assumed that Jason was going to launch an attack on us after he destroyed my system, but my systems are back up and we haven't heard anything from him."
Tim's eyes widen in realization. "We keep assuming that he's coming after us and he doesn't. Every assumption we've made in the past year about Jason's actions has been wrong."
"It may be more than that, there are too many gaps in our timeline to know anything for sure about what Jason's been doing, where's he's been, or why. Enough with making assumptions, throw out everything we know about Jason and start from scratch." Barbara turns back to her computer and opens a new case file. Realizing how much she didn't know about Jason showed her how much she did know. That just might be enough to find him.
"We don't know anything about Jason." Tim muses. "I definitely won't breathe a word of this to Bruce or Dick. Their entire case for sending Jason to Arkham revolves around how well they claim they know him. I doubt they'd react well to this line of thinking." The anger in his voice did not go unnoticed by Barbara.
They both disagreed with the idea of sending Jason to Arkham. Regardless of what Jason's done putting him in the same class as Gotham's rogues, as the Joker, is just cruel. They had both kept an eye on the reports coming out of Arkham before Jason's escape in case they needed to step in and force his transfer to Blackgate in the event that something had happened. Regardless of what Bruce and Dick thought.
"We'll deal with them if we find something concrete." Barbara's fingers still over her keyboard before turning back to Tim.
"All cards on the table, there's something I haven't told anyone about the night Jason attacked me."
It takes her a few seconds to gather her words, Tim waits patiently.
"Jason was injured, I didn't realize it until he threw himself over me but once he had it was obvious. He was too light. He had lost at least 50 pounds and his muscle mass was severely diminished. Like he had been starved. He didn't move like he was hurt but when he landed over me… Tim, I could feel his ribs. Are we sure Jason left Arkham under his own power?"
Tim's face grew grim at this new revelation. "Like you said we don't know anything about Jason. Just because the League of Shadows wasn't active in Gotham at the time doesn't mean that there wasn't someone else in Gotham at capable of taking Jason right under our noses."
"That's what I'm afraid of, but no more jumping to conclusions. The only way we're going to find Jason is by finding hard evidence."
"And that means going back to Arkham." Tim gets to his feet. "I'll start poking around Arkham see if I can find someplace to start."
Barbara nods and turns back to her screen. Pulling up everything she has on the day of Jason's 'escape'. Pouring over every detail with fresh new eyes and no assumptions. Analysing the data just like she does when a new player appears in Gotham. She missed something but now she knows where to find answers.
Jason, I don't know what's happened to you but I promise, I will find you.
Jason wakes up to the sound of Abby's cell phone alarm going off. The woman next to him stirs, blindly reaching for the source of the offending sound and knocking the phone off the nightstand in the process.
Abby groans and reluctantly pulls herself out of bed to retrieve her phone from the floor. She flops back onto the bed next him glaring at her phone screen as she flips through her email.
"Only you would set an alarm for 6 am on a Sunday morning," Jason says sitting up. Completely awake despite the early hour. Two nights of sleep in a row free of nightmares leaving him feeling well rested and lighter for the first time in a long time.
"Comes with the territory." She says stifling a yawn. "The new Warden has everyone pulling double shifts until Arkham is back up to full staff. I'm going to fall behind my classes if I don't spend the weekend studying."
"And you have to make up lost time." Guilt claws at his stomach once again. She had spent an entire day watching over him instead of getting work done.
"If you try to apologize for having a dissociative episode I'm going to throw a pillow at you," Abby warns not looking up from her phone.
She knows him too well. "Alright fine. But I'm making you breakfast. There's pancake mix in the top cabinets, right?"
She gives him an amused look. "You say that like you don't have my entire kitchen memorized."
"I'll take that as a yes." He says hopping out of bed and making a beeline for the kitchen.
Fifteen minutes later Abby wanders out of her room to find a stack of pancakes waiting for her at the table.
"You are officially the best roommate ever." She declares taking a seat.
"I am living here for the foreseeable future, might as well make myself useful." He says taking a seat across from her and setting his bowl of oatmeal in front of him. His appetite was slowly returning and he was able to eat more each day but he was still playing it safe. One wrong move could set him back days.
"I have a hot guy making me breakfast, if my parents could see this they'd be overjoyed." She thinks about it for a second. "Or they'd be furious that you weren't some rich socialite. Probably the second one."
"Nothing you do is good enough for them, huh?" Jason knows that feeling.
"Nope, I gave up on earning their approval years ago. I could magically turn into a straight, marriage-oriented, golddigger and I doubt it would be enough. But enough about them, despite what they'd like to think they don't control my life. Besides the occasional musing about how mad they would be at my life choices, I try not to waste precious brain power on them. I have better things to do than worry about what dumb plan they're trying to think up now."
Jason watches as Abby happily digs into her stack of pancakes. Watches how easily she swept thoughts of her parents and their plots out of her mind. That they weren't worth her time and energy and their plans were a minor annoyance at best. She had an anxiety attack last night and it's not weighing on her. She's not pretending either, he knows when someone's pretending to fine when they're falling apart inside. She's put it out of her mind and moved on.
How does she do that?
"Do what?" Abby asks looking up from her plate curiously.
Jason winces, he must have said that out loud. Oh well, In for a penny in for a pound. "How do you get them out of your head, what they think of you, what they've done to you. I've tried to get away, get away from those memories but..." He trails off.
"But they pull you back, smother you until you feel like your drowning. Until the thought of living your life free from your past is nothing more than a pipe dream." Abby gives him a sad smile.
"Honestly, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I had to get away, out of their influence but that was the easy part. I dug through textbooks, studies, other survivor accounts. Found other people who went through the same Hell I had. I learned which therapy principles had been twisted and used on me and how to undo the self-loathing conditioning that had been placed on me. I wrote letters. Letters to my parents, to my Grandma, to myself. I wrote down every twisted thing that I had been through and then I'd light the letters on fire and watch it all burn away."
"It's not going to happen overnight. It took me years of panic attacks and depression to get to where I am right now and it can still creep up on me. I still write letters when it gets hard to breathe. It can't stop me. I am stronger than my memories and I will be free of them. My parents, my past, all of it. It's just a matter of time."
Jason is silent as he absorbs her story. All the steps she took reaching where she is now. How sure she is that she will be free. That it was just a matter of time. The memories of what had happened to him under Arkham still felt like an impossible obstacle. Like thick heavy iron chains weighing him down, refusing to let him go. Those weren't the only chains holding him down, memories of what had happened in that warehouse and even in Crime Alley had never let go. He also had one more set of chains If he was being honest with himself. The constant disappointment and alienation that he had endured as Robin from all sides wrapped around him just as tightly as any other memory. All of them cutting into him, leaving deep gashes that had never fully healed.
He could escape from a cell in his sleep but this? This was something else entirely.
Jason shudders as sick and cruel laughter rings through his head.
"You saw what happened to me, what he did to me. Do you really think I have any chance of getting the Joker out of my head?"
Abby gives him a shrewd look. "Jason, I watched you fight your way out of Arkham half dead on sheer force of will alone. I know you can get that monster out of your head."
Jason huffs out a laugh in surprise. For once it didn't sound hollow. "Well, that makes one of us."
Abby opens her mouth to say something but gets cut off as her phone starts ringing.
"Oh, what now." She grumbles as she snatches up her phone. "Atwood." She answers sharply.
She pinches the bridge of her nose. "No, I'm not… That's not...Yes... Yes, I'll be right there." She ends the call and drops her head into her hands with a huff.
"Don't tell me they need you to cover another shift," Jason asks in disbelief, that makes the third time this week and she's already working double shifts.
"The glamorous life of a psychiatric intern." She sighs giving her remaining pancakes a mournful look.
"I'll take care of the leftovers, you get ready," Jason says clearing the table. Abby shoots him a grateful look before darting back to her room.
Five minutes later she's reemerged, dressed and wrestling her hair into a messy ponytail. "I'll be back around two, hopefully. Oh and feel free to dig through my textbooks. The red one on the top of the pile is about treating PTSD if you're looking for a place to start."
"I'll think about." He says giving the book in question a wary glance.
She gives him a knowing nod before closing the door behind her. Leaving him alone in the apartment.
Jason takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. It's easier for him to forget that he's not in his cell anymore when Abby's not around. It takes him a moment to steady himself.
He does his usual check of all his injuries, changing out the bandage on his forearm and the burn on his side before starting his workout routine.
He still can't do anything too strenuous, what little muscle mass he has left is seriously atrophied but the muscle memory remains. He can just manage a half hour of drills before his body calls it quits.
He runs a damp washcloth over himself to wash off the sweat, showers still weren't happening, the memories of being waterboarded were just too fresh in his mind. He can't spend much time in front of the mirror either. Joker had spent hours carving messages into his skin.
Jason traces the J-shaped brand on his face. "Dead bird walking" had also been carved into the skin of his chest right below his collarbone. Down and to the right "Ha!Ha!Ha!" was carved into the skin above his hip. Smiley Faces wrapped around his left forearm traveling up his bicep.
A few days ago he had finally worked up the courage to ask Abby what's on his back. She told him that two broken wings stretched down from his shoulders across his entire back.
His fingers tighten around the lip of the sink. Counting breaths until he could think again. He raises his head and looks at his reflection in the mirror where a dead man stares back at him. Eyes sunken and hollow and angry.
Joker hurt him, tortured him, pushed him to the very limits of his endurance but he did not break him. He's battered and bruised. Beaten in every sense of the word but not broken. Robin had died in that warehouse, The Red Hood had died under Arkham, but Jason Todd lives.
He's not the same person he was, he can't be, but he can become something different, stronger.
In a twisted way dying at Joker's hands in Ethiopia was one of the best things that had ever happened to him. It allowed him to travel the world, training and exploring, doing good, to start over. To figure out who he is without the Bat looking over his shoulder. He has another chance to start over, start fresh. Leave behind who he was and discover who he is.
Jason quickly gets dressed and soon finds himself in front of the pile of textbooks that are a permanent fixture next to the couch.
He can do this all he needs is to take that first step.
He picks up the red book on top of the stack and starts reading.