"Wait." Kaylee whispered. She looked into Jayne's eyes. "What are we doing?"
"I think we're gonna get sexed." Jayne replied, his hands still holding onto her belt.
"Jayne… we can't." Kaylee said pulling away. Jayne didn't let her go.
"Why the hell not?" He asked.
"Simon…" Kaylee started.
"Do you love him?" Jayne asked.
"I…" She didn't know what to say. She had thought she did, but now she didn't know. Jayne started kissing her again. "Stop."
"You didn't say yes." Jayne told her.
"I didn't say no either." Kaylee pointed out.
"I like my way of looking at things better." Jayne insisted.
"I'm not going to cheat on Simon."
"Then break up with him."
"Pregnant?" Inara asked in disbelief. "Was it…"
"Of course it's Wash's!" Zoe snapped.
"Actually, I was going to ask if it was a planned pregnancy." Inara shot back a little testily. She didn't like people putting words in her mouth. She was known for having a little tact, and asking the paternity of a widow's baby wasn't exactly tactful. Zoe blushed, embarrassed by her own outburst.
"I'm sorry. I… its just hard. This isn't how I thought it would be when Wash and I finally had a baby."
"So you were trying to have one?"
"Yes, I had finally convinced Wash that our lives would always be dangerous and that now was as good a time as any to have a baby… Then he died."
Inara crossed the room to Zoe's side and wrapped her in a protective hug. Zoe was startled, but she didn't pull away, it was nice to have someone to confide in.
"I know we haven't been extremely close in the past, but please know if there is anything you need, I'm here." Inara whispered.
Zoe gave her a squeeze back.
"Thank you."
Simon returned to his quarters, Kaylee would find him when she was ready to talk… at least he hoped she would. He lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He would never understand women, especially that one. He had thought he knew her, knew how to make her happy. He must have been wrong. Maybe he didn't know her at all; maybe what he knew was only what he had wished she was. So if he didn't really know her, did he really love her?
"So many threads, tangled into knots! Where does one end and the others begin?" River asked, Simon sat up, startled. Rivers head poked through the slightly open door.
"River, come in." Simon offered. His sister slid in gracefully and perched herself on the edge of Simons bed.
"It's so loud today." River commented.
"Are you okay?" Simon asked. "Do you need something?"
River shook her head.
"It's not what I need, it's what you need." She replied.
"What are you talking about?" Simon asked.
"You need to let her go, Simon. She's not yours to keep. She's a butterfly, you can't cage her. If you love her you have to do what's best for her. You have to set her free. She is supposed to be free, free to fly in and out of the lives of others. Those who need her as a guiding light, if you don't let her go, that light will be extinguished. You can't hold on to a butterfly, if you love her to hard you'll crush her. You have to let her fly away."
"I don't understand." Simon said, confused.
"Yes you do, you just don't want to." River replied, she put her hands in his and placed an origami butterfly in his palm. With that she left, and Simon stared after her.
"What is this?" Miranda asked, her delicate hand still cradled within Mal's large, rough hand.
"I don't know." Mal whispered. "I just know that every time I watch you walk away, it kills me a little bit."
Miranda breathed heavily, his words were exactly what her heart felt. She rested her head on his shoulder.
"Then I won't walk away." She said decidedly. Mal smiled and used his free hand to stroke the gentle curls of her long hair.
"A Shepherd once told me…" Mal began; Miranda looked up at him confused.
"You're religious?" Miranda asked in disbelief.
"He was an old friend." Mal said with a sad smile. "And he told me something…"
"Shepherds do have a tendency to do that." Miranda joked.
"You gonna let me get this out?" Mal asked. Miranda smiled, but said nothing. "Alright. He told me something, and it was important enough to him that he chose for them to be his dying words."
"Oh," Miranda whispered. "Didn't realize this was a serious talk."
"Yup," Mal said, smiling. "Serious. So let me talk."
"Okay."
"Okay?" Mal asked, Miranda nodded, "He told me he didn't care what I believed in, he just wanted me to believe in something."
"Why are you telling me this?" Miranda asked.
"Cause I found something, and I believe in it." Mal looked at Miranda in an odd way. "I need you to know what I believe in. cause if I don't say this now, I'm gonna regret it. I believe that you're strong enough. I believe that we can beat the Alliance and anything else that comes our way. I believe that anyone who says differently is dead wrong. But most of all, and most surprisingly, I believe that I'm in love with you. Against my better judgment, I might add. Although, I've never had much judgment in the first place, let alone good judgment. What I really mean to say is, Miranda, I'm in love with you."
Miranda rested her head back on his shoulder and squeezed his hand.
"What a pair we make," She whispered. "The scorpion and the swan… Don't you realize, we'll be the death of each other?"
"You think I'm a scorpion?" Mal asked, ignoring her question.
"No, you're the swan, trying to aid a danger creature." Miranda replied. They sat in silence for a long moment.
"I'll take that risk." Mal whispered.
Jayne?!? Had she really just had a make out session with Jayne in the engine room? It couldn't have happened Kaylee told herself as she adjusted the insides of the mule. Firstly, because Jayne would never kiss her, she was like a little sister to him. And secondly, she would never kiss him… but she had. Why? Well he was good looking in a ruggedly handsome sort of way. And he was tall. Kaylee had a weakness for the tall ones. But he was Jayne! Part of her insisted that it was a onetime thing and it would never happen again… but the other part of her whispered naughtily in the back of her head, all the places it could happen again.
God! What was wrong with her? She had a boyfriend, a potential husband. She had a wonderful man who loved her. Jayne would never love her. The most she could hope for with Jayne would be lust… but on the other hand, why was that such a bad thing? Kaylee liked lust, in fact she loved lust… but did she love it more than love?
Jayne did bench presses when he was frustrated, and right now, he was doing a lot of them.
"Jayne!" Simon's voice called from outside Jayne's door. Jayne started and hurriedly sat down the bar and got up.
"Yeah?" He called gruffly through the door.
"Have you see Kaylee?" Simon asked. Jayne's heart began to pound. Play it cool, he told himself.
"Why do you ask? How should I know where she is? What are you implying?" Smooth Jayne, very smooth. He could have hit himself.
"Nothing, I just thought you might have seen her." Simon replied, confused.
"Well, I haven't." Jayne snapped.
He walked back to the bench, he would be doing a lot of bench presses today… that was for sure.
Simon was going crazy, first Kaylee's freak out… then River's. The thing that really worried him was that everything River had said to him had made perfect sense. Something was definitely wrong when the crazy girl started to make sense.
He just needed to find Kaylee. He needed to talk to her. These thoughts filled his head as he wandered into the cargo bay.
He stopped in his tracks when he saw them.
It was such a beautiful, peaceful sight. Mal and Miranda sat in silence. Miranda's head rested on Mal's shoulder and their hands were clasped. Such a simple unintentional show of love. It was a perfect moment, but not rightfully theirs. It should have been Inara in Mal's arms, not this girl he barely knew.
Rage filled Simon and he charged down the stairs, grabbing Mal by the collar of his shirt. Simon slammed his fist into the Captains face.
"You son of a---"
"Simon!" Kaylee screamed before he could throw another punch. She came running from some mechanical corner of the ship. She hurried up the stairs and pried the two men apart.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She demanded.
"Mal…Miranda…Inara…" Simon mumbled incoherently. Mal just stared at him like he was insane and held his bleeding nose. "What about Inara, Mal?"
"What about Inara?" Kaylee asked. "What did Mal and Miranda do? Were they kissing?"
"No." Simon replied.
"Then what were they doing?" Kaylee asked.
"They… they were holding hands." It sounded idiotic eve as he said it. Kaylee just stared at him.
"You punched the captain for holding her hand?" She said in disbelief.
Simon didn't know what to say.
"Kaylee, kindly get the doc out of here before I do something that I won't regret later." Mal growled, glaring at Simon.
"I have half a mind to let you at him." Kaylee replied before grabbing the collar of Simon's shirt and dragging him away.
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Midnightfarie
"That was interesting." Miranda commented as the two of them disappeared. Mal gingerly tapped his nose.
"Yeah, real interesting."