Close Encounters 4

Maybe it was because they were quiet, maybe it was because she was waiting on him to start this conversation about his mother, so she was trying not to pressure him, just scanning the pedestrians, the crowded sidewalks, paying attention-

She just happened to be paying attention.

And she saw him.

Agent Deleware.

Kate nearly fell off the curb waiting at the crosswalk, and Castle caught her by the elbow, chuckled at her with a tilt of his head, and she tried not to panic.

Castle couldn't know. He absolutely couldn't. He would be furious.

Deleware had followed them. Which meant Black knew, would know; Black had warned her, had threatened her not to keep looking for Rick's mother.

But why?

Why the hell did it matter so much?

"Kate?"

She jerked to attention and saw Castle waiting for her in the street, pedestrians flowing between them, around them, crossing to the other side. He gave her a crooked, studying smile and held his hand out to her.

She carefully avoided looking at Deleware or determining exactly where he was, and instead she laced her fingers through Rick's.

When they were lost in the crowd, hand in hand and Castle slightly ahead of her, leading the way, Kate finally let her eyes scan across the street.

Deleware was gone.

Castle jiggled Kate's hand with his, waited until she finally looked at him.

"Hey. You're lost in thought. My mother scare you off?"

A swift transformation fell over her face, and then she was shaking her head. "Baby, after what you've put me through, it'd take a lot more than an old theatre actress to get me."

He grinned, couldn't help the laugh that pulled out of him. Baby, huh? "It hasn't been easy."

She softened, less amusement and more serious tenderness. "No. But we seem all the better for it." She tugged on their joined hands and dragged him closer for a kiss.

They stopped traffic with it, her tongue caressing, her taste rich with wine and her love for him. Castle touched two fingers to her cheek, couldn't help stroking into her hair and holding her there.

When a pedestrian jostled him into her, Castle stopped, broke away with a sigh. She hummed, that satisfied sound in her throat that made him so damn proud - because it was for him, about him, she was content and he'd done it.

"Hey," she said. "Come on, Castle."

"I don't need my mother," he said suddenly. "I haven't needed her for a long time, Kate. But because of you - I have - I don't know. Something. There's something where there was nothing before."

She brought her hands up to frame his face and kissed him again, a rough and hot brand of her mouth before putting him away.

"You don't have to ride off into the sunset with her, Rick. Just taking the chance, giving yourself the opportunity to know her. . ."

"She never explained why," he sighed, then shook his head at the way that sounded. He didn't need to know. He didn't. Martha had been right; all of that was in the unalterable past.

"She might - eventually. You never know," Kate said gently, tugging on him to get moving. "She could be embarrassed or ashamed. She might not know how to explain it. But it's a start. At least it's a start."

Castle let out a long breath, trudging at her side, staring off into the distance. He felt Kate's hand in his, her fingers chilled by the wind, but he didn't see anything beyond the grey of midtown's buildings and the strips of winter sky.

"Rick."

"Yeah."

"Do you. . .see anyone?"

Was he seeing anyone? He gave her a confused glance then realized she meant a professional and shook his head. "But I'm sure the CIA has a staff therapist - I'll have to use him or her. I won't be allowed to talk to a civilian. Come to think of it, Kate," he winced. "You'd have to use the CIA's official guy as well."

She gave a sharp laugh and ran her fingers through her hair, staring at him. "No, I - not what I was - I'll have to see the CIA's shrink? Is Dr King - would he be on the list?"

"Probably," he shrugged. "Most likely. I could ask." Not his father; he'd ask carefully, find people he could trust. If Black found out that either of them were seeing a shrink. . .

"Yeah, do that," she murmured, glanced away from him.

At that moment, they passed Paley Park wordlessly and he couldn't help yearning for it, but Kate was making that hesitant noise at his side, like she had more to say.

"Rick. I meant, did you notice someone following us?"

Fuck. No.

What?

"Where? Who?" he barked.

Kate grabbed him by the shoulder and kept him walking. "No, not - no. Castle. It's just Deleware."

"The fuck is Del doing-" His face cleared and he shot her a blank look. "Kate."

She bit her bottom lip and avoided his eyes, took in a sharp breath. "It's possible your father is having us. . .monitored."

"Why does that sound like you know all about this?"

"When I first - when I was looking into this. When I started searching for your mother." She frowned fiercely at the sidewalk and tried to keep herself anchored to the present with the tight grip of his hand over hers. Hadn't he just said they'd been through a lot? This was nothing. "I'd gotten you stabbed and your father came into the hospital room-"

"You did not get me stabbed. Stop saying that like it was your fault. Coonan stabbed me, Kate. Dick Coonan. Not you."

She grit her teeth and kept breathing, steady in and out. One foot in front of the other. Castle was like a mountain at her side, a sleeping volcano. She knew this wasn't a good idea, but not telling him was worse.

"Your father came to see me. He warned me that I had no business poking my nose in your past. He told me I'd regret opening up old wounds. I'd gone up to Montauk - Martha's family is there."

He stumbled at her side, dragging her out of the flow of traffic. "Montauk? You - when did you do that?"

"During the whole - when you first started looking into my mother's case. I needed something to keep my mind off all the things I no longer could control."

"I didn't know you'd done that."

"How do you think I found her?" she asked quietly.

He ran a hand down his face and raised his eyes to the heavens. A grunt as he accepted that and then he was leading her back down the street again.

"Okay. All right. The important part of this - Agent Black had Del follow one of us - or possibly my mother - to the wine bar. So he knows I've met with her."

"He warned me to drop it, Castle. And I did for a while. Actually, no. I just did it more quietly. And then after I was shot - it just, it fell through the cracks until I felt better. Esposito and Ryan helped me."

"Your boys," he murmured. "I can't believe he threatened - okay. Yeah. Yeah, I can believe it. Never mind."

"But, Rick. The most important question here is why? Why does it matter to him if you meet your mother?"

Castle snorted and tugged her to the curb where they waited at the red light. "Kate. What did I tell you about him?"

She blinked and shook her head. "He. . .he wasn't much of a father."

"Less than. He's the mad scientist in a human experiment. Me."

Kate's throat closed up at the bleak grey of his eyes. "Castle."

"Before you, I was the CIA's perfect specimen. I worked like a machine. But you're good for me, Kate. You're - you're life to me. You make me - for the first time since I was six or seven - you make me dream things. I want a dog and marriage and returning home safely and a boy who looks like you and-"

She pushed her mouth against his to shut him up, silence the beautiful but impossible story he was putting into her head. His hands cradled her cheeks and forced her to go slowly, to let it last, and she hoped she wasn't crying.

But it'd been a long, terrifying, wonderful day.

And she was afraid she was.

It was a stupid idea. It was irresponsible and foolish and it would never work.

But.

He was gonna do it anyway. He called Carrie while Kate was getting a hot dog from the vendor, studied her while he waited for Carrie to pick up. Kate was reserved in her way, but warming up to the man as he teased and flirted with her. She looked exhausted, but he was probably the only one who'd notice - her beauty shone through the tired lines and the pinched set of her mouth, made her luminous.

Carrie answered with a warm hello; he could hear the sound of traffic on her end and he wondered if she was in the city. It'd been a few weeks since he'd gone over to check on her, and to his shame, he realized he didn't know if she ever came into the city at all.

"It's Richard," he said. "How are you?"

"Richard, I'm hanging in there. Mark - he was always so proud of you, what you'd become. I know you feel like you owe him, but really, you don't have to-"

"It's not obligation, Carrie. You're - family."

He watched Kate pay for their hot dogs as she picked out toppings; the vendor was adding relish and ketchup and mustard.

"That's good to hear," she murmured. "Are you in town? Is Kate-"

"She's right here with me. We got married and then we got engaged."

Carried laughed - a pure and clear and normal sound. Untouched by the impossibility of the news, simply happy for them. "Oh, Richard. Congratulations. She's remarkable. Really."

"She is. She - is." He wasn't going to get choked up, not here. Jeez, Rick. "I actually am calling you because I have a pretty big - make that a huge - favor to ask."

"Name it."

"I want to get Kate a dog."

"Okay. I know a few rescue places, if that's-"

"But Kate's been. . .working with me, Carrie. Overseas."

"Oh."

He winced at the judgment in her voice.

"Well. Richard. A dog is - that's - who will take care of him when you're-" And she stopped, let out a slow chuckle. "All right. That's why you're calling me."

"You're the only one I'd trust with it."

"Richard. Really."

"Really."

"This is kind of an impossible-"

"I know, but Kate - there's so much we won't - I'm not a normal guy, and-"

"Richard," she chided.

"And Kate's in the middle of this crazy - damn, Carrie; it's a conspiracy is what it is. Her mother was murdered - I know you saw that on the news. But it goes deeper and we've been working at that together, and to keep her - both of us - safe right now, she's given up her job to become an agent." He grunted. "A sports agent."

She laughed over the line and Castle saw Kate heading back for him, loaded down with three hot dogs. He quickly cleared the hesitance and desperation off his face, kept it neutral.

"Care?"

"All right. Okay, Richard. Yes. I will co-parent your dog with you and your fiancee."

Kate gave him a big grin and jerked her head towards the steps of the old church; he followed at a distance, letting her lead the way until she was sitting and waiting for him.

"Thank you," he said quietly. "I'll text you when I know more."

Kate handed his hot dogs up to him and he sank down beside her to eat.

"Who was that?" she said.

"Just - getting some stuff cleared up." And then he switched the subject, but made it ambiguous enough that it sounded related to his first statement. Spy 101 - how to tell a lying truth. "No work the rest of the week. Ryan's wedding-"

"On Saturday," she said in a rushed breath. "Yes? You can - we both will be able to make it?"

"Of course, Kate. We'll make it."

"Oh, good," she sighed. "Thank you."

He was getting her a dog. He couldn't really give her a normal engagement, a normal wedding, a normal life. But he could damn well give her a dog.

She saw he was nervous. They made dinner together at her apartment and he kept touching her. That was how she knew.

She didn't know about what - maybe the meeting with his mother was still churning around in his head - but she'd decided to let it go for now. Their fight from this morning was still too fresh for her to test their patched together peace, so she let him touch.

She didn't, however, let him boss her around her own kitchen. She made the spaghetti sauce the way she normally did, but she added in the fennel seed and carrots just to appease him. He'd been doing some messing around in the kitchen these last few months, making her things, and since he seemed to like it so much, she deferred to his recently-gained expertise.

"Open some wine," she murmured, pushing him away from the stove when he tried to taste test the sauce. "I'm almost finished and the pasta is about ready."

Castle turned and opened the skinny cabinet beside the fridge, pulled out the cabernet without pause. She smiled to herself at his choice and found the collander for the noodles, poured them out to drain. He came back to her with a glass and she took a sip, a little boring but nice after the rich taste from the wine bar.

He took the glass back from her and moved them both to the table; she saw he'd already set out plates and forks, everything ready. "Bring the plates," she called to him. "We can serve from here."

When she felt him at her side again, she turned to look at him - the soft and wandering look in his eyes, the willingness to be led - and she sighed and pushed him towards the pasta with his plate, taking her own.

"Get some noodles, super spy."

He startled out of his daydream and gave her a crinkle-eyed smile, all beautiful beaming happiness.

And she knew it was okay - whatever it was - it was something good.

"What do normal people do now?" he asked her. He embraced her and his fingers were wet from washing the dishes.

Kate laughed at him and slung her arms around his back, pressed her hips into his as she tilted away from him. She was warm and content, and her hair was caught up in a messy knot at the back of her neck, strands curling around her ears and temple where Castle had been playing with hit.

He was leaning after her, and she let him chase down her lips, taste her amusement.

"Mm, normal people," she laughed around his mouth. "Normal people watch tv, surf the internet, go to bed at nine."

"We could go to bed now," he said avidly, lifting his eyebrows at her.

"And just sleep?"

"Ew, no. Boring."

She grinned and nudged his hips with hers, smiled when he finally drew away. "Turn on the television. Grab the laptop. Relax with me. You can relax, can't you?"

"Yes," he said indignantly. "In theory."

She laughed and pushed him away, went for the television to see what they could distract themselves with. He had already claimed the laptop, one of his secure devices she saw, and he had sat down on her couch.

He patted the cushion beside him and she rolled her eyes at his come-hither glance, but she sat down with him as she flipped through the television stations. He opened his arm and she leaned into him, then gave up trying to pretend like it was nothing, let her head fall into his lap.

"Tired?" he murmured. "Sleep, Kate. I don't mind. I have some things I gotta check in with at the office."

She was tired. This had been a tiring, wrenching day. Going to bed at nine like a normal person actually held more than a little bit of allure.

But no. His mother.

"Today okay for you?" she murmured, kept her eyes open to look at him.

Castle put the laptop at his side and combed the fingers of his free hand through her hair, loosened it from the rubber band. She had no idea what station she'd left the tv on, but it was a pleasant white noise in the background.

"Today? Today was brutal."

She huffed and blinked through the flutter of his hand around her face. He traced the lines of her eyebrows and gave her a soft smile.

"I don't know about Martha," he said finally. "We'll see what happens."

"But you and me?"

He cupped her cheek. "I know what happens here." His thumb stroked over her jaw, his gaze intently blue; she closed her eyes and let the man do as he liked, easing into the sensation of his fingers at her face, then back through her hair again.

She drifted for a moment, listening to him type emails with one hand, thinking about the look on his face when Martha had walked into that bar.

Her knees curled up into her chest and she slid a hand under his thigh for the warmth. Castle rubbed his hand down her arm and came back to her neck, kept it there, heavy and solid. She laced their fingers together and tugged his arm around her, turned her body into the cushions.

"Kate."

"Hmm?" she murmured. She couldn't see him like this anyway, so she kept her eyes closed.

"Thank you."

She startled and half turned to look up at him, their laced fingers falling across her chest. He rubbed his thumb at her collarbone and his eyes were serious.

"I'd never have gone looking. I'd never have - I didn't want to know. I guess I was punishing her with my continued absence. But I was punishing myself too."

"You should have the chance to know her," she murmured.

"Thank you, Kate. I was angry at you, but. . .thank you."

She brought his palm to her mouth and kissed it, felt his fingers fluttering over her lips. He turned his head to the laptop, and she rolled back to her stomach with his arm still around her neck, let herself finally, finally relax.

She was going to fall asleep like this. She was going to fall asleep with his arm wrapped around her and pressed into her chest, but that was okay. That was fine, because they were fine, they were really fine, and she could sleep.

He hadn't been lying when he said he had work to do, but he didn't do it. He scrolled through pet rescue places online while Beckett slept, chuckling to himself when he realized she was drooling onto his leg.

Well, better get used to it. A dog wouldn't exactly lower the drool quotient.

There were so many kinds, such a wide age-range, and he knew, intellectually, that it was still such a bad idea. They didn't have a lifestyle that was conducive to a dog, but he was stubborn and she'd been half-wishing when she'd said it, like she thought it was impossible.

And it was. Really, it was.

But he didn't know that he could ever give her the wedding in New York that she deserved (thus the wedding in Rome), nor the life that he longed for them to have, only that he loved her and he wanted her as his wife.

So he was getting her a damn dog.

Beagles, German Shepherds, Great Danes, Corgis, mutts. Puppies and old dogs and hunting dogs and abused dogs and three-legged dogs. Lap dogs and mop dogs and-

Huh. Wolfdog puppy. The narrowed snout, tall and triangular ears, the slitted eyes - blue. Blue eyes it looked like in the picture, half closed though they were. A year old pup found by a hunter in a deer stand upstate, definitely a distant relative of a wolf, somewhere back there.

Dark fringe of fur around the neck but white around the eyes, almost reddish at the ears.

A girl pup.

He wanted this dog.

The puppy was at a rescue foster home near by; there was a warning attached to the posting. Plays well with other dogs, loyal to and playful with humans. The leg will heal.

He wanted this dog.

She roused when he carried her in to bed, vaguely aware that he was saying something about having to go. Her fingers curled at his bicep but fell away, the lure of sleep and the heavy comforter and the smell of him in her pillow.

He kissed the corner of her mouth and stroked her hair away from her neck, and then she was asleep.

If he was going, she knew he'd be back.

Stymied.

He had to fill out an application with the rescue organization and since he wasn't exactly registered with the state of New York, he had to put Kate's father's name down as a reference. And then he texted Jim to be sure the man wouldn't ruin the surprise.

After a few days, he was allowed to play with the puppy at the man's home for a while, stroke her fur and get used to her personality. She was inquisitive, but calm; she didn't mess with him too much, but when he petted her, she looked like she could stay there for ages.

She was an independent thing, nosing around him and then settling on her haunches at a distance when he had to stand and leave. She didn't whine or nip at his heels, but she watched him with those blue, knowing eyes.

Oh, yeah. This was the dog.

He wanted this dog.

Castle seemed a little hyper lately. Which was funny, not something she normally associated with him. Kate had woken up early, like she usually did, and the sun was out, the bed was warm, but Castle had been nowhere to be found.

But she'd smelled coffee.

When she'd slipped on socks and a sweatshirt, she'd padded out to the kitchen. There he was, his back to her, making breakfast.

"Morning, Castle."

He turned suddenly and waved the spatula at her. "Eggs."

Her stomach churned, heart sank, and it must have showed on her face because he froze.

"You don't like eggs?"

"Let's just say I've probably had enough eggs to last a lifetime."

"Yeah?"

"Pretty much all I had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while I was at Stone Farm."

His face fell. "Oh."

"Finish making them for yourself." She moved around the island and brushed her hand over his back. "I can get cereal."

"No way. Not-uh. If not eggs, then what?"

"Castle, you don't have to-"

"I got mad skills, Beckett. Let me prove it to you. Anything you want."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Creme brulee."

He huffed at her. "Within the realm of the breakfast kingdom, Beckett. Come on."

She grinned and bit her bottom lip. "I thought you got mad skills."

"Don't be mean."

She smirked and stepped up on her toes to kiss his jaw. "Okay. Make me french toast."

"I can do that." He waved the spatula up and down her pajamas. "You should shower. I got plans for you, Beckett."

"Oh, really?"

"Shower. Get dressed. Be ready to go right after breakfast."

She twisted her lips and studied him, watched him slowly build a defense behind those blue eyes, and then she gave him a break and smiled. "Fine. I'm going."

Kate turned to go back to the bedroom and Castle swatted her ass with the spatula.

"Better not use that on my french toast, Rick Castle."