WARNING: This chapter earns the M rating and has explicit sexual content..

Elena

I wake to the sounds of thudding and music vibrating through the floorboards. When my eyes open, I'm greeted by the familiar sight of my bedroom and I sigh softly and smile to myself. It feels so good to be back home. This is the way it's supposed to me - me at home, in my own bedroom, in my own bed, being woken up by the sounds of my heavy-footed little brother. I climb out of bed and walk over to his room, a smile still on my face. When I open the door he's on the ground doing push-ups. I march over to his stereo and turn the volume down.

"Hey!" he says getting to his feet. "I was listening to that."

"Hey, yourself. I was trying to sleep in there," I say, pretending to be irritated.

The truth is, I'm so happy to be re-united with him, that even the things about him that annoy me make me smile.

"Yeah, well, it's 11am. You've always been lazy,"

I gasp and slap him playfully in the arm.

"Ow, ow, ow, ooh my poor arm. I'll never recover now," he replies sarcastically.

I hit him harder and he bursts out laughing. Then I grab him into my arms and hug him tight.

"Are you okay?" he asks over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I just missed you, that's all," I say, still clinging to him.

He kisses my hair. "Me too."

"Anyway, I'm gonna make breakfast. Want some?"

"Sure," he replies.

"You still coming to The Boarding House later? Think everybody's meeting there at 6."

"What for?"

"What do you mean what for? To arrange our Christmas dinner. Caroline's been planning it since we got back home. Don't tell me you forgot."

"What's the point? It's not even Christmas yet. It's 2 weeks away."

"I know, but we're hardly going to have the chance to celebrate when we've got Klaus, Rebekah, Shane, Silas and the cure to deal with. Tomorrow is the only chance we'll get to celebrate altogether, so you're coming and I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Okay, okay," he says holding up his hands. "I'll be there. Happy?"

"Yes," I say nodding my head.

"Can I get ready now? I'm supposed to be meeting Bonnie."

"Ooh, meeting Bonnie, eh?" I say with a smile and a playful wink.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," I say shaking my head, a suggestive smile still on my face.

"Oh, shut up," he says throwing a pair of bundled up socks at my head.

I duck to avoid them and leave the room chuckling lightly. It's been a week since we got back from the lake house and being back home has already improved my mood significantly. Going to sleep at night, knowing that my brother is in the next room and waking up to breakfast with him is the thing that brings me the most joy at the moment. Bonnie and Shane's work with him at the lake house has worked and he's back to his old self. He's still a Hunter, but now he has the capacity to look at me, Caroline, Tyler and Stefan (and sometimes Damon) and realise that we're important to him and that he doesn't want to kill us. Even I'm starting to feel that things are getting back to normal.

Almost.

Despite making no progress in the first few days in our hunt for the cure, we seem to have finally made up for that. We've managed to negotiate peace with Klaus and Rebekah, for now at least. Unfortunately, Bonnie still hasn't found a way to undo the magic Shane manipulated her into using to link himself to me, so Klaus' protection applies to him, which means that Shane is now also part of the team.

Much to our protests Klaus negotiated his own deal with Shane, promising to deliver Silas to him so long as he helps us to find the cure. In exchange Shane will continue to help Bonnie control her magic and once Klaus has lived up to his end of the bargain and Shane has Silas, he will give her the spell that unlinks the two of us and he will be released from being Klaus' prisoner. Both Klaus and Shane seem more than content with the deal and although I still distrust Shane, I feel secure in having him around as long as his life is linked to mine, because it guarantees Klaus' protection and that is more reliable than any other protection anyone else could provide.

Even though technically Rebekah wasn't needed once Klaus had got Shane on side, her history of dating a Hunter and the information she'd gotten from Shane when she and Kol tortured him means that she's proved to be valuable, and regardless of my hatred for her, I can't deny that she's committed and ruthless in finding the cure and that her and Shane becoming part of the team has allowed our plan to come finally together. Klaus found the sword to decode the map; Rebekah and Shane found the headstone to resurrect Silas; Shane and Klaus completed the ritual to resurrect Silas by killing 12 hybrids and 12 humans, Shane also continues to work with Bonnie on her magic; Damon and Stefan worked with Jeremy on his skills as a Hunter; Caroline used her organisational and natural leadership skills to keep us all in check and me...well I contributed in any way that I could. But the main plan we're working on is our secret one to kill an Original.

Since Jeremy first suggested it a week ago at the lake house, I've been back and forth with the idea. Logically it makes sense. Jeremy needs to kill a large amount of vampires in a short time, and killing an Original will achieve exactly that, but doing so won't be without repercussions. Seeing as Klaus is the one that is responsible for creating our blood line, he's not an option; Elijah is in New Orleans and of all the members of the Mikaelson family he is the one I am most fond of, so I refuse to sacrifice him; Fin is dead, so that leaves us with only two.

Rebekah or Kol.

Admittedly I would find a small amount of joy in killing Rebekah, but she's played an important role in finding the cure and Kol is an immediate threat to all of us and our search for the cure. He is determined to put an end to our search, as he's terrified of resurrecting Silas and although he hasn't shown his face since he tortured Shane with Rebekah over 3 weeks ago, Klaus is certain that he is still lingering in town and keeping a low profile whilst he formulates a plan. Klaus has vowed that he will do whatever it takes to keep Kol at bay and is currently attempting to convince Rebekah to give him the only remaining dagger so that he can temporarily get Kol out of the picture. However, Rebekah has chosen now of all times to be moral and loyal and refuses to play any part in daggering her own brother, which means that our plan can still go ahead.

Damon has the white oak stake and that alone has been enough to motivate us to compose an elaborate plan to kill Kol that ensures all of our safety which will take place in 48 hours. Bonnie's new lease of power means that she is going to use her magic to temporarily put up a veil that prevents Klaus from stepping outside it and in the meantime Stefan is working on getting the dagger out of Rebekah in order to incapacitate her. It makes the plan more complicated, but they are necessary measures, because both Klaus and Rebekah would not hesitate in killing us all for being the ones responsible for their little brother's death. After Klaus and Rebekah are contained, the rest of the plan is simple; lure Kol to the house by offering to negotiate about the cure and Silas and then kill him. After that we go to Klaus' take Shane as our prisoner, force Klaus to decode the map from within the confines of his prison and finally we will know the location of the cure.

I feel rather confident in our plan, mostly because I have complete faith in Bonnie's magic, but also because our combined efforts mean that our chances of failing are slim to none. The only moment of weakness I seem to have is when I look into Jeremy's eyes. That's when I begin to have doubts about everything that we're doing, because even if he's a Hunter with natural instincts to kill vampires, succumbing him to the fate of being a cold blooded murderer makes my heart sink. I know the burden of that, the guilt that you carry with you every second of every day and yet I am actively playing a part in my own brother suffering through that same ordeal. When I have those moments I force myself to think about what finding the cure will mean, not just for me and Jeremy, but for all of us and I find the courage to go on, because regardless of what we have to do to find the cure, the pros more than out weigh the cons.

Stefan

I tap on the door lightly and call Rebekah's name, before letting myself into the room, not even bothering to wait for a response. The room is empty but after a few moments Rebekah emerges from the en-suite dripping wet, a towel wrapped about her.

"Stefan," she says casually. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"I did knock, you didn't hear," I say.

"Well, are you just going to stand there all day? Sit down."

I walk over to the 4 poster bed and perch myself on it. I've spent most of my hours since we returned from the lake house in her company, attempting to charm her and seduce her, so as to acquire the dagger from her. It's not something that comes as naturally to me as it does to Damon, but when I'm in her company I find that I forget the true reason as to why I'm doing it, because I have fun when I'm with her and despite everything that Rebekah has done a part of me still likes her. I don't know if it's because of my inability to hold a grudge or if it's simply because I see the best in everyone, but she's unflinchingly and unapologetically honest and spending time with her is simple and the perfect distraction from the ongoing pain of my break-up with Elena.

"So, these visits are starting to become a regular thing. Is there any particular reason for that?" she asks furrowing her brow and eyeing me suspiciously.

"We're allies now, I'm just being friendly."

"Really, Stefan, do you expect me to believe that? What do you really want from me?"

I gulp and worry that my eyes betray me and reveal my true intentions. She steps out of the doorway of the en-suite and walks to her closet before dropping her towel. I immediately move my eyes up to the ceiling and clear my throat.

"Um...maybe I should just...go," I say getting up and heading for the door.

"Oh, come on, Stefan. It's not anything you haven't seen before."

I hear her move across the room towards me, but I keep my eyes locked on the ceiling. She takes my chin in her hands and pulls my face down so that my eyes meet hers. She's standing so close that when she starts to speak I can feel her breath on my face.

"Ooh, you're tense," she says, rubbing my shoulders, her eyes fixed on my lips. "I'm sure there's something I can do to help with that."

She stars up at me through her eyelashes, a flirtatious smile on her face and unlike with Elena I don't feel even an ounce of nerves at being just inches from her lips and being able to feel her naked body against me. Rebekah is undeniably beautiful, but this is different. This is just something that's going to happen and I'm not doing it to manipulate her or as part of a plan, I'm doing it because I actually want to and in some small way I've known for the last week that it was leading to this moment, because being a vampire is as much about blood as it is about meaningless, wild sex.

She lightly brushes her lips against mine, then pulls back and meets my eyes with a satisfied and a seductive smile. I grab the back of her head suddenly and pull her into me forcefully, kissing her frantically. She throws me up against the wall and starts ripping at my shirt, scratching my chest with her nails as she scrambles to get it off. I pull her head back by her hair and kiss her neck, whilst running my hands up and down her still damp body. She reaches for my belt and unbuckles it before yanking my trousers down to my ankles and then I grab her thighs and lift her up, twisting around so that she's up against the wall instead. Her head thumps into the wall, denting the cement, but she still continues to kiss me lustfully and aggressively. I grab at her breasts and begin thrusting inside her, animalistic growls escaping my throat as I do. She groans in pleasure and wraps her legs around me tightly, grinding up and down. Her fingers wind into my hair and I lean forward and bury my head into the nape of her neck.

I close my eyes and slap my hands onto the wall behind her, as I thrust faster and faster, a strong sense of desperation taking hold of me. When I open my eyes the pink tones of her skin have turned olive, her damp blonde hair brown and her high pitched moans, sound cracked and raspy. I jerk my head up to look at her face and see big, round, chocolate eyes staring back at me. Panic starts to over take my body and I fall backwards onto the ground.

"What the bloody hell?!" Rebekah exclaims from a heap on the floor.

I blink rapidly and once again I see Rebekah's face. I look around the room disorientated, expecting to see Elena, but she isn't here. I get to my feet and Rebekah stares at me through wide eyes, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I...I can't do this," I stammer, reaching for my jeans from the floor and pulling them on before storming out of the room.

Rebekah calls after me angrily, but I continue out of the house without a backwards glance, attempting to get a hold of my emotions. Klaus appears and blocks my path just as I reach the front door. "Ah, Stefan. Just the man I wanted to see."

"Not now, Klaus," I say through gritted teeth.

"I can only assume that my little sister is the reason that your knickers are in such a twist," he says with an amused grin.

"I said not now," I repeat attempting to get past him.

He puts his hand on the door to prevent me from opening it and I impatiently ask, "What do you want?"

"I was curious to know what business Elena's brother and the witch have to talk to Professor Shane?"

I frown and look up to him puzzled. "Jeremy and Bonnie?"

"They were here this morning chatting with him and not for the first time."

"I thought Shane was permanently locked up in that trap door under your bed. How did he get around you?"

"Oh, do come on, Stefan. Do you really take me to be so cruel as to do that?"

I scoff.

"No," he continues, "I allow Shane freedom to roam the house and the grounds so long as he doesn't go where I can't keep tabs on him. He has contact with Jeremy and Bonnie with my permission, as the work he does with them aids in us finding the cure."

"What work?" I ask raising my eyebrows. "Jeremy doesn't need help from Shane, he's done all of the training he needs with Damon and me and Bonnie...well, she's more powerful than she's ever been. What could he be helping them with?"

"Ah, and you see this is why I am curious. It hasn't escaped my attention that the three of them are incredibly secretive and I believe that there has been a cloaking spell cast so as to prevent me from hearing what is being said. Now usually I would have already taken it upon myself to deal with the issue, but given the circumstances, I've been unable to do that."

"So you want me to find out from Jeremy and Bonnie what the deal is," I say, filling in the blanks.

He nods and Rebekah appears from down the stairs, her cheeks rosy red and a robe wrapped about her.

"What the bloody hell was all that about?" she asks angrily, not caring that Klaus is present.

"And on that note, I think I best leave you two to it," Klaus says.

I can still see an amused grin on his face and I scowl at him. Rebekah stands on the bottom stair, staring at her nails, impatiently waiting for Klaus to leave.

"Keep me informed," he says to me under his breath before leaving with one final smile at Rebekah and I.

"Oh and here's your shirt. You forgot it as you were scrambling to get out of my room as quickly as possible," she says throwing it forcefully at my face, before marching back up the stairs.

I sigh and pull my shirt over my head before heading out of the door.

Damon

I lean my hand on the wall and stand under the flow of the shower with my eyes closed. My body is the most relaxed it's been in weeks. The headway we're making with our plan to find the cure has relieved me slightly and I'm finally reaching a point where I can see a hopeful future where Elena is no longer sired to me and is human once again. I hear the doorbell ring and when I don't respond the bell rings again and incessant knocking begins. I groan and climb out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself.

"Jeez, I'm coming! I'm coming!" I yell as I dash down the stairs.

I open the door to see Elena standing at the other side.

"Oh," she says her eyes wide, upon seeing my wet, half naked body. "Sorry. I-I should've called."

I smile at her and say, "Come on in."

She steps over the threshold and goes into the living room.

"Since when do you lock the doors?" she asks.

"Since I don't want just anybody walking into my house at all hours of the day and night," I reply, with a grin.

She rolls her eyes and replies with, "Technically this house is mine, so I have a right to be here at any hour."

"Is that right?"

She nods. "The deed to the house was transferred over to my name. I know I died, but technically the house is still mine."

I nod and a quiet chuckle escapes me. She seems different. Happier. Lighter. Having Jeremy back has done her a world of good and I think that like me, she's relieved that we're finally making progress with finding the cure. The improvement in her means that I find joy in being in her company again. Since finding out about the sire bond a majority of our communications have been strained and awkward, but not today.

"So why you here?"

"Did you forget that we're all meeting here to start putting our plan into action?"

"No, I didn't forget, but that's not for another 4 hours."

Her eyes fall to the floor and her face flushes pink.

"Would I be right in thinking that you wanted a little sneak peak at the goods?" I say, gesturing down my body and meeting her eyes, a flirtatious smile on my face.

She smiles a genuine smile and I'd forgotten how good it felt just to be normal with her and to be able to say whatever I want, without worrying if it's inappropriate or will make her feel uncomfortable.

"No, but I did actually want to talk to you about something."

"Uh-oh. That doesn't sound good."

"No, it's-it's nothing bad. At least, I don't think it is."

"So...what is it?"

"Um..." she steps forwards and gestures to me. "Do you think you should maybe put some clothes on first?"

I look down at myself and remember that I'm wearing nothing but a towel. I take off upstairs, throw on a shirt and some jeans and return downstairs in less than a minute.

"Stefan's going to hopefully come back with the dagger tonight, Bonnie has the spell ready to trap Klaus and after tomorrow once we've got dinner over with and if everything goes to plan we should have the map to the cure," she starts. "But before any of that happens I just needed to tell you that whatever happens next, I..."

I feel my heart flutter in my chest at the words I think she is about to say next.

"...I'm sorry."

Disappointment flows through me.

"I'm sorry for everything that's happened with the sire bond and...us. None of it's your fault and I want you to know, I don't blame you."

"Stefan does."

She shakes her head. "He doesn't, not really. It's just easier to blame you than to face the truth."

"And what's that?"

"That the reason I slept with you is nothing to do with the sire bond."

She meets my eyes nervously and I find myself rendered speechless.

She clears her throat. "I know how hard you've been working to find this cure and I know you're doing it for me, so thank you."

I nod and say, "You're welcome," my voice quiet.

"Well, I guess I should go back home and come back later," she says heading for the front door.

"Elena."

She turns back to me.

"Stay for a drink?" I ask, with a small smile.

She accepts my offer with a nod, walks back into the room, takes a seat and I can feel that my heart is smiling.

Stefan

I leave the house, jump in my car and head for The Grill. I know that Damon's at home and I can't stand to be around him right now. I'm still flustered and distressed and my encounter with Rebekah has caused all of my emotions to come rushing to the surface once again. Since getting back from the lake house I've managed to keep them in check, but I'm quickly learning that it takes only one word, action or incident to drag me back to that dark place. I can't fight it, because it doesn't creep up on me, it just suddenly erupts without warning and takes me over instantly, before I've even had the chance to consciously comprehend what is happening.

When I get outside The Grill, I peer inside the window and see Tyler and Caroline sitting at the bar chatting with Matt. I get back in my car and decide to go to another bar just outside Mystic Falls, because I can't face them right now. I know they're most likely talking about our upcoming plans to kill Kol and I'm not in the right frame of mind to be talking about anything right now. I just need to forget.

I arrive at the bar in under 15 minutes. It's one of the bars that I come to when I need to escape for just a short while and be an anonymous face in a crowd. It's dingy, dimly lit and run down, but it's always alive with the buzz of conversation, the people keep to themselves and the bar staff are compellable, so it suits me. I hop on a stool at the bar and order a bourbon. I then order a second and a third and a fourth and a fifth and a sixth, and eventually I just ask that the bottle be left on the bar. The drinks cause my vision to blur, my limbs to become clumsy and uncoordinated and my head to go fuzzy, but they don't seem to ease the heaviness of my heart. Alcohol has been my catalyst consistently in the past, but this time I know it won't help, because there's not enough alcohol on planet earth to make me forget Elena or numb the earth shattering pain of losing her. Nonetheless I continue to drown myself in spirits, simply because I don't know what else to do.

"Thought I might find you here," a familiar voice says from beside me.

I turn my head to my right and squint my eyes in an attempt to focus on the face that the voice has come from.

I groan and ask, "How did you find me?"

"I followed you. You didn't really think I was going to let you get away with the way you treated me earlier, did you? Come on, Stefan, I thought you knew me better than that."

She takes the glass out of my hand and downs the shot.

"Look, Rebekah, just leave, okay? I'm not in the mood."

"You really are pathetic, aren't you?" she says shaking her head. "Just look at yourself. Elena leaves you and you fall apart. Get over it, Stefan. The people that you love most are always going to turn around and stab you in the back. Especially your brother."

"And you'd be an expert in that field, considering your own brother has literally stabbed you in the back, how many times now? Must hurt to know that you mean so little to him that he would plunge a dagger through your chest the second you stop being useful to him."

"And it must hurt to know that your brother had sex with your girlfriend the second you broke up."

I shrug and gulp down another shot. "I'm over it."

"Really? You're over your brother's hand being all over your girlfriend? You're over the the love of your life choosing Damon over you?"

"Yup."

"If that's true, then what are you doing here? If you're really over it why aren't you back at mine, in my bed?"

She leans into me and I can feel her breathing on my neck. "I'll tell you why," she whispers. "It's because you're still in love with Elena and it's killing you that maybe she actually does love Damon and that the sire bond is nothing to do with her sleeping with him."

"Shut up," I say quietly through gritted teeth.

"Admit it, Stefan. You're here because you can't handle the fact that you've lost the two people you love most in the world, because now they love each other more than they will ever love you."

"I said shut up!" I scream, leaping at Rebekah and grabbing her around the throat.

"Now, come on. There's no need to make a scene," she says casually, placing her hand over mine and pulling it from her throat with ease.

She pushes me away from her and I stumble back, then she leaves. Everyone in the bar has fallen silent and are exchanging looks of horror, but instead of compelling them I simply leave. Rebekah is propped up against my car when I get outside and I run straight to her, getting in her face.

"What the hell was that? Why are you here? Do you get some sort of sick, twisted thrill out of torturing me?"

"I just want to help you. You say you're over it, prove it. Come with me right now."

"Come where?"

She smiles mysteriously. "Just get in the car," she says opening the door and jumping in the driver's seat.

Despite being furious with her and so drunk that I can barely see straight, I climb into the car, the enormous amounts of alcohol in my system combined with my heartbreak, disabling my ability to make informed and sensible decisions.

Elena

The next couple of hours pass by in a whirl of drinks, laughter and chatter. The talk flows consistently, with neither of us pausing for breath, but I'm not sure what we talk about. It's nothing of real importance, but I find myself chuckling until my sides hurt and I see a brightness in Damon's eyes that I haven't seen in so long, that makes me feel warm inside.

Sometimes it's so easy for me to forget how much I like Damon when no one else is around and when he's not manipulating, lying or simply being downright childish. He's so buoyant, charming and witty and I instantly get caught up in the enjoyment of being with him. I once again see all of the things that drew me to him in the beginning, the things that pulled me in even more once I turned. There are no boundaries with him, no extent he wouldn't go to to have fun or make me laugh, and I feel completely comfortable in letting loose. I can laugh so hard that beer is coming down my nose, I can rip into a blood bag ravenously, I can dance wildly and belch out loud and I know that Damon won't judge and will most likely turn all of those things into part of the fun. Having that complete freedom is truly liberating and something that I've rarely experienced throughout my life.

I've always been bound by rules, moral obligations and a need to please everyone, but tonight I get to just be the uncensored version of myself. It's not necessarily the best version, but it's certainly the most fun and that's what I need right now.

Stefan

After 40 minutes of driving we pull up outside a bar.

"What are we doing here?" I ask turning to Rebekah.

"If you want to drink, at least do it in style," she says, turning off the ignition. "Come on."

I've been to almost every bar in every major city over the last century, but I don't recognise this one and I can't explain why, but I follow Rebekah inside, despite everything inside me telling me to leave and go back home.

The bar is a lot more classy than the last one, with glass chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling, tiled floors, antique furniture, bar staff that are dressed smartly in uniform and customers dressed in their finest suits and dresses. The second we step through the door everyone's heads turn towards us and their voices erupt all at once as they call out Rebekah's name.

"Rebekah, hey!"

"Rebekah, how are you, sweetheart?"

"Rebekah! Nice to see you."

"Rebekah, let me get you a drink."

Every single person takes their turn to greet Rebekah and bombard her with smiles, offers of drinks and even offers to feed. I turn to look at Rebekah, a puzzled frown on my face.

"You compelled all of these people?" I ask in disgust.

She takes a cocktail that is handed to her and begins sipping on it. "Don't sound so judgmental. I seem to recall a time when you would've done the same."

"That was then. You can't...you can't do this. These are people, Rebekah. Innocent people."

"Oh, lighten up, Stefan. It's fun."

"No, it's not, it's wrong. I'm going home," I say.

"Oh, come on, Stefan. Loosen up. You were fun once. Why can't you go back to being the Stefan I knew in the 20's?" she says stepping into me and running her hand up my chest. "Let go, Stefan. Just...let...go."

I inhale deeply and meet her eyes. I know her game, I know that she wants me to lose control, and I know I need to fight it, but instead of leaving like I know I should, something still keeps me rooted to the spot, because the deepest, darkest part of me wants this.

A young woman appears alongside. "Hi, Rebekah. Are you hungry?" she asks, a smile on her face. She brushes her hair over her shoulder and twists her head so that her neck is exposed.

I don't notice anything about her other than her fair, almost translucent skin, showing the bright blue veins in her neck and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat pumping blood around her body. Rebekah reaches out to turn my face towards her and I instantly feel myself start to sweat, as the sound of the young girl's heartbeat grows louder in my ears.

"Let...go," Rebekah whispers and she gently pulls the girl closer towards us, so that her neck is mere inches away from my mouth.

I haven't fed since this morning and the intense rage and searing pain I hold inside is causing the hunger I already feel to expand, until I can feel it taking hold of my entire body. The corners of my vision go black, as I keep my eyes fixated on the vein on her neck. Every thought and emotion disappears as the undeniable hunger begins to take over my body. My throat goes dry, my muscles twitch and my face becomes hot. For a second I sober up almost completely, but even in that one moment my sanity fails me and I grab the girl and pull her towards me, before violently biting into her neck.

The second the first drop of blood hits my tongue, I grab her tighter to me and dig my fangs in deeper. Everything falls quiet, my mind becomes black and all I can feel is the thick, hot blood flowing out of her into me, providing me with incredible strength and satisfaction. I feel Rebekah's hand on my back and know that she is pleased that she has managed to seduce me. Since the second she stepped into the bar earlier, this is what she wanted. As I continue to feed, the girl doesn't scream or struggle and wraps her arms around my neck, as though this is what she wants and it is in that moment that I realise what I'm doing.

This is a girl. A person. A human being. I stop feeding and then slowly pull away.

"You're not done," Rebekah says.

I ignore her and look at the girl properly for the first time. She has kind, round green eyes, wild curly red hair and an angelic smile. She's no older than 25 and my conscience returns to me, causing guilt, disgust and shame engulf me immediately. She's someone's daughter, someone's sister, someone's friend. She may be a stranger to me, but she is loved and important to someone else in the world and losing her could shatter them. Like losing Elena has shattered me. I bite my wrist and force blood into her mouth.

"Go home, forget this happened and never come back here again."

The girl nods and immediately leaves the bar without looking back.

"No! What the bloody hell are you doing?" Rebekah asks angrily.

"The right thing," I say, wiping the blood from my mouth.

She suddenly reaches behind her and pulls a man out of the crowd. He looks confused at first, but when he sees Rebekah's face he immediately calms and offers himself up on a plate. Rebekah bites into his neck and thrusts him in my face. I turn my face away and growl as I fight the urge to feed again.

"Why are you doing this? What do you get out of it? Why are you doing this?!" I shout.

"I'm doing this because I can," she growls. "And you might think I'm trying to ruin you, but I'm actually trying to help you. Spending every waking second fighting that urge to feed, fighting against all of your natural instincts, it's not healthy. You're a vampire, Stefan, a ripper and no matter how much you deny it or try to run from it, you can't, because that is who you are."

I shake my head frantically and says, "No, no, I'm more than that. I have to be."

"Stop fighting!" she screams, taking her finger that is covered in blood and pushing it onto my lips.

I pull away violently and bare my teeth at her. "You know, you're more like your brother than you think."

"Yeah and so are you."

"I am nothing like Damon," I spit through gritted teeth.

"You love Elena and so does Damon for the same reason - because without her, all that's left of you is the monster that you fight so hard against. The monster you don't want to be."

"We're done," I say, pushing the man away from me and heading towards the door.

"Face it, Stefan, your life is over. Your worst fears have come to life and there's no escaping it. They don't care about you anymore, they stopped caring the second they fell into bed together. You're just too much of a coward to admit it!"

I carry on walking and even as the door closes behind me I can still hear Rebekah's yells. When I get outside and the cold air hits me, I inhale deeply. My heart is racing, the taste of blood is still on the tip of my tongue, the scent of it engulfing me and every single fiber of my being is screaming out for it, calling at me to go back inside and finish what I started; to feed on that man until I have absorbed every last drop of blood from his body. I've managed to walk away, but the second I gave into that hunger and fed on that girl, I surrendered a part of my self-control and I can feel myself fighting with all the strength I have to get it back, as my mind begins to spiral into a frenzy and I can feel it happening again.

I can keep him at bay through everything, but the second I feed, I leave myself vulnerable and exposed and that is when he breaks through and takes me over.

That's when I become the Ripper.