The Love Boat

Obsmama, Maxandmo, Carenl, Mtneer05, GeekChic12 and Kikki007…I'd wear the black bracelet for any of them.

You can all thank obamama that Bella is not a hexagon with a penis. js

Chapter 10 Swinging

I practically ran back to the cabin and threw myself on the bed as soon as I entered the room. I didn't even change out of my swimsuit. I just snuggled into my pillow and tried not to cry. I still had no idea why Edward was mad at me.

I was so frustrated, and my headache was back, and I just wanted to go to sleep and wake up when everything was better - when Edward wasn't mad at me and when my head didn't hurt and when this boat wasn't rocking and when I didn't want to cry like a big baby.

I heard the keycard slide into the door and a bunch of stuff drop onto the couch. I tried to discreetly wipe away the few tears that had escaped without turning away from the wall I was facing.

"What the hell was that?" Edward's tone was clipped and irritated.

I shrugged my shoulders. I still had no idea what I'd done wrong.

Edward sighed. "I went up there because you ran out of here before I could put the sunblock on you, and as soon as I get there, you run away again."

He was still mad at me. I took a deep breath, trying to keep from bawling.

"I'm sorry." I said it because I was sorry I upset him but was still unsure why he was upset. I turned my face into my pillow hoping to muffle my sniffles.

"Oh my god. Are you crying now?"

I shook my head no. I was pretty sure he didn't believe me.

I heard him drop his hands to his thighs in frustration and then begin pacing. The room was small; he could only take a couple of steps before he had to turn around. I imagined him nervously running his fingers through his hair and looking a bit like a caged animal.

He finally stopped and sat on his side of the bed.

"Fuck. This is so messed up," he said, flopping his upper body down on the bed.

"Please don't cry." It was such a soft plea.

"I'm not," I sniffled.

I felt him shift, and then his arm reached out for my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to yell at you."

I wiped the tears out of my eyes again before I turned to face him. "I don't know why you're mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you."

"You wouldn't even look at me at the pool. I'm sorry about Bob. I'm sorry you have to keep rescuing me."

"Bella, I'm not mad at you for that. It's just…I'm…I'm still confused. One minute, everything's fine, and the next you act like this is some kind of awkward business arrangement. I didn't go off on Bob, that Mike character or Paolo or anyone else because it's part of an arrangement. I did it because I don't want anyone making you uncomfortable."

"Paolo?"

He grabbed his pillow and his position, lying on his side, mirrored mine. "Yeah, do you remember your 'new friend,' Paulo?"

I nodded. "You went off on him? What for? He was really nice."

"He served you enough rum to bathe in."

"I'm the one who kept ordering them. I think."

"Still, it made you vulnerable. What if something would have happened to you?" His hand reached me, sweeping over my cheek and tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I'm sorry," we both said again at the same time.

Chuckling, I clarified, "I'm sorry I'm confusing you. I'm a little confused too."

He nodded. "And I'm sorry for taking out my frustrations on you. And I'm sorry if I scared you at the pool."

"That didn't scare me," I said, smiling fully for the first time since Bob approached me. "It was kind of amazing. You were practically growling at him! It was…" I looked down at my lap, knowing I was blushing. "It was sexy."

"Sexy… my 'growling' was sexy? Like a sexy beast?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows.

I giggled, pushing his shoulder. "Yeah, something like that."

He gave me a cocky half nod that silently said, "I know you know."

"What was that stuff you were telling him about same room swapping? How did you know that?"

"While you were boozing it up with Paolo, I checked out some of the kiosks in the Promenade. They had all kinds of information about the 'lifestyle.'"

"Really? That seems weird."

"Not really." He shrugged. "There's like a whole culture to how this works. Sharing something so intimate has the potential to be an emotional powder keg if everyone doesn't play by a common set of rules."

I nodded. That made sense.

"Not everyone in the lifestyle is into the same thing. Just like in the 'vanilla' world, there's a whole spectrum of kinks and preferences."

"Kinks?" I asked, biting my bottom lip.

Edward's relaxed face tensed a bit. "Everyone has a kink, Bella."

"I don't have a kink."

"Yes you do. You may not know what it is yet, but you have one," he said with a wink.

I looked at him doubtfully. I was pretty much as vanilla as they came.

"I don't necessarily mean whips and chains or latex suits, but everybody has some secret, some fantasy or something that turns them on more than they're willing to admit, sometimes even to themselves."

He reached over to my side of the bed and took my hand, pulling it closer to him and resting it on the body pillow between us. His fingers intertwined with mine, barely brushing, gently squeezing them in a constant motion without ever breaking the connection.

"Trust me. Everyone has a kink. You'll find yours eventually."

My eyes focused on our hands resting on the neutral barrier. "Everyone?"

He nodded his head.

"What's your kink?" I looked up to meet his eyes. His lips pulled into a slow, knowing smile.

"Maybe one day I'll show you."

"So it's the latex suits then, huh?" I smiled back, despite being denied.

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"So…the same room thing? What does that mean?"

He took a deep breath. "This whole 'swinging' thing really hinges on communication. Just because they're swingers, doesn't mean they're bedding everything in sight. Well...most of them."

"Really?"

"Yeah. The man and woman usually have an agreement about what they will and won't do, where and with whom."

"Whom?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Miss Smarty."

I smiled at him, noticing how his eyes danced as he continued his Swinger 101 lesson.

"Couples in, couples out is pretty much the standard for these kinds of events. That means couples play together. It cuts down on the jealousy. Sleeping with someone else without your partner's knowledge or consent is still cheating."

I nodded again. "Is that what you meant when you told Bob he knew how this worked?"

"Partially."

"There's more?"

He nodded. "Most couples, especially at an event like this, are long-term, committed couples. Most want to play in the same room with their partner whether they're doing a soft swap or full swap."

"What's the difference?"

Edward scrubbed his hand down his face, letting out a heavy breath. With another breath, he lifted off the bed. "Just a sec, let me get something."

He grabbed a paper bag off the dresser and came back to the bed. Instead of lying back down like me, he propped himself against the wall at the head of the bed.

I sat up, sitting cross-legged, facing him and pulled my shoulder blanket, which housekeeping had been nice enough to fold at the foot of the bed, around my shoulders.

Edward dumped the bag out on his lap, and thick rubber bracelets of all colors fell out. I looked at him curiously.

"I bought these at one of the kiosks in the Promenade," he said as he started to line them up according to the pamphlet in his hand. It looked like there were two of each color and maybe ten different colors.

"I bought these because I thought they might help us avoid some misunderstandings with our fellow cruisers."

"Why are there so many?"

"I didn't know which one you'd want to wear. I'll wear whatever you do."

"Which color says, 'I got on this boat by accident?'"

Edward threw his head back and laughed. "I'm not sure they have a color for that."

I looked at the neat row of bands he had. "So where do we start, white or light blue?"

"White, we should definitely start with white," he chuckled.

He picked up one of the white ones.

"White is for 'novice.' It generally means that a person is interested in the lifestyle but maybe not ready to play yet. It also says, 'Seasoned swingers are encouraged to act as gentle ambassadors. Please provide the information they seek without actively enlisting them.'"

"That sounds promising."

Edward picked up the purple one next. "This one is for voyeurs and exhibitionists - those who like to watch or be watched in the act. According to the lady at the kiosk, it's a rare breed that are strictly 'VoyEx,' but there are some. It's mostly couples who like to add that into their play."

"Pink is 'soft swap' - couples who enjoy sexual interactions with others, which may include oral, or…um…manual stimulation, but not…uh…"

"Making love?" It was odd to see a normally composed Edward stumble over the specifics.

"Actually," he said, looking into his lap. "Making love is an intimate act reserved for couples. Intercourse during play is meeting a sexual need but not an intimate one."

Edward looked into my eyes and my heart sped up a little when I noticed his blush. We had spoken about all sorts of things, and even though I had been in a near constant state of embarrassed blush, it was the first time I had seen his cheeks tinged so pink. It was the intimacy rather than the act that caused his reaction, and I wanted to crawl over the pillow and snuggle him for it.

"So, no actual P-I-V sex?" I asked, trying to clarify.

His head tilted. "P-I-V?"

I palmed my forehead and covered my eyes, certain I was an even deeper pink than him. Without looking up from my folded legs I mumbled, "P-I-V is penis in vagina." I was so embarrassed, the words jumbled together. I secretly prayed they were clear enough that I didn't have to repeat them.

"What?"

"Penis in vagina," I said slower, but still in a hushed whisper.

"Huh?"

I took a deep breath, "Penis. In. Vagina."

I heard him gasp, and I wanted to curl into a ball and throw my shoulder blanket over my head. I heard it again, but it sounded more like a snicker than a gasp. My eyes shot open, and I saw him practically turning blue trying not to laugh.

As soon as he saw my eyes, he burst into raucous laughter.

My hands balled into tight fists. "You heard me the first time!"

He nodded emphatically, and wheezed out between laughter, "And I already knew what it meant!"

I lunged at him. "You jerk!"

I slapped his shoulder once, twice, before I lost my balance and fell on top of him. His arms circled my bare waist, holding me in place. I jiggled with the vibrations of his belly laughs.

I couldn't help but smile and laugh back at his amused face. His smile spread across his entire face, crinkling his eyes.

I sat back on my heels, straddling his legs. The energy between us was crisp, almost palpable.

"I'm sorry for jumping on you."

"You've been trying to jump me since you saw me in the restaurant."

"Pfft," I uttered, smacking his shoulder again.

He caught my wrist and pulled me closer to his chest; my knees inched up, resting on the outsides of his hips.

"Bella…" he whispered, tucking my hair behind my ear. "If you're not interested in me, you have to tell me."

I nodded, and Edward chuckled dryly.

My brow furrowed in confusion and I tilted my head, silently asking for an explanation.

"That, right there," he said, his finger circling in front of my face. "You nodded."

I nodded again and he shook his head. "See, I don't know if that meant, 'yes you're interested' or 'yes, you're not interested.'"

"Oh."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

I bit my lip. I didn't know why it was so hard to admit that I wanted him. Maybe because it was hard for me to believe he was interested in me. In that moment, I knew he was, but I knew Jake was into me too. I was so certain he loved me, I was ready to build a life with him, and the entire time, I didn't have the right equipment for him.

Edward's thumb tenderly stroked my cheek, and his eyes searched mine. My eyes flitted from his intense gaze to his pursed lips. The mossy green of his irises deepened to near pitch black at the edges, framed between thick, sweeping lashes that were so beautiful. Even set under, or maybe because they were set under, his ridiculously thick brows, they were pretty yet virile. My eyes followed his smooth, perfect nose to his pouty lips. I wanted him to kiss me so badly. Why wouldn't he just kiss me? I knew why. He was asking me, begging me to tell him I wanted him, to make my move. But I couldn't. That little crazy voice in my head was still telling me I was misreading him, the way I had misread Jake.

The tension was too much for me to take, and I pulled myself from his lap to sit back on my side of the bed. He sighed deeply and tossed his head back, staring at the ceiling and shaking his head slightly.

I broke the awkward silence, picking up a dark blue bracelet. "What does this one mean?"

Edward took a deep breath, picking the pamphlet back up. "The dark blue, it means first level of full swap."

"'Full swap' is everything, even P-I-V?"

He nodded. "According to the lady, first level was their biggest seller on the ship, and what most couples here are looking for. It's the "same room swap" I was talking about with Bob. Both partners agree on the other set of partners and all activity happens in the same room, in full view of their partner."

"I don't get it, Edward. Why do these people do this? Why pretend to be committed to one person and still sleep around?"

"I know it's hard to understand. I don't think it's something I would ever do either, but the people in this lifestyle see a clear distinction between the sexual gratification they get with other people and the intimacy they share as a couple."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess."

I waved my hands over the remaining bracelets. "So… the rest of these?"

"They're mostly variations of a full swap…"

He picked up the dark green band. "Second level swap means the partners don't have to stay in the same room but do need to stay on the premises."

"We're on a ship. It's pretty hard to go 'off premises.'"

"Sure, when we're cruising, but nothing says playtime stops when we hit a port of call."

I winced, thinking of the naked snorkeling.

Edward continued. Yellow and red meant essentially the same - full swap, partners do not have to remain on the premises, but the yellow meant they'd keep up and may be interested in a longer term friendship; red meant that they weren't.

I shook my head in disbelief. I could almost understand the difference between intimacy and sex for the other bands, but why would anyone be willing to let their husband go off and do god knows what with some other woman?

I picked up the three remaining bands. "What are these? I mean how much worse can it get?"

"Black - anything goes, anyone, anywhere, at any time."

"Light blue - bisexual."

"Light green means the wearer chooses not to say how they like to play."

"Why even wear one then? And better yet, why did you buy them all? Thinking about wearing this one?" I asked, twirling the black on my finger.

Edward laughed and raised his eyebrow. "Only if that's the one you're wearing."

I played along, gulping exaggeratedly, as I scooped all except the white ones back into the bag. "I'll take white so I don't upset your delicate sensibilities."

"Much appreciated," he chuckled, playing along too. "Truthfully, I wasn't sure which of the 'lighter' bracelets to buy and if you're buying three or four to choose from, it's just cheaper to buy the whole set."

I got up from the bed to put the bag back on the dresser and pulled a bottle of water from the mini fridge.

"How's your headache, by the way?"

"You know, now that you mention it, I think it's gone."

"Good. Do you think we could go back to talking about…" Edward's request was interrupted by Alice's distinctive knocks. I can't say I wasn't relieved.

Edward's shoulders dropped in disappointment; he took a deep breath and opened the door. "Cousin," he greeted.

Alice flew through the opening, and I thought she was going to jump on me until she stopped abruptly right in front of me. She put her hand on my shoulders and jumped up and down excitedly. "Oh my god Bella, guess what!"

I shrugged my shoulders, and moved the bottle of water in my hand for a drink.

"I'm a squirter!" Alice squealed excitedly.

Nothing in this world would have prepared me for hearing those words from my best friend. If I had any inkling she'd say something like that, I wouldn't have taken that last sip of water, the one that flew out of my mouth and sprayed her face.

"Oh my god Alice, I'm so sorry, I was just…I…you shocked me!"

"Looky there Al, Bella's a squirter too!" Jasper doubled over, slapping his knee.

I narrowed my eyes to glare at him. Edward handed me a towel to offer Alice.

"I really am sorry," I said, patting her face dry.

"I don't even care," she said with a huge smile, "You know why? Because the G-spot is real, and I had a G-spot orgasm, and I fucking squirted!" Alice jumped again as she shouted about her climax.

I was still completely stunned. I looked at the boys, and Edward looked equally mortified, but Jasper looked more like the proudest peacock at the zoo.

"Would you please stop saying…" I dropped my voice to a whisper, "squirt?"

She shrugged one shoulder and slowly blinked her eyes. "Maybe."

"Please," Edward added. "You're like a little sister to me. I don't want to hear about that."

"Fine," Alice said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me toward the door. "We have to get ready anyway. Jasper, I brought your tux over earlier. We're going to be in our cabin."

As she pulled me through the door, she stuck her head back in our cabin and warned Jasper. "Braids out."

"But baby," he whined. "Didn't I earn it in class?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

She dropped my hand and went to him, putting her hand tenderly on his cheek. "You did so good baby, but if you want to do it again, you'll take those braids out. I've been trying not to say anything all afternoon, but your hair is just too fine. It's popping all over the place, and you look like a deranged hedgehog."

Jasper blinked at his wife. Unfazed, Alice kissed one cheek and patted the other. "Love you. Pick us up at seven."

She reached for my wrist again as she passed by me and dragged me across the hall and to her cabin.

Thank you for reading! A review would be better than falling in Edward's lap…okay, a close second. ;) If you tell me which color band you'd wear on this cruise, I'll tell you mine. ;)