Chapter 10
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Solas waited alone, holding Eirlana close against his body. She was drifting in and out of consciousness, her body shivering uncontrollably, no longer responding to her wishes. It felt like he waited an eternity. He had always felt a disdain for the hasty and unthoughtful lives mortals lived. Now he understood this urgency as he was aware of every second that past. The urgency that came with having a mortal body. He felt her life slipping through his fingers like fine sand, and he was powerless to prevent it. Desperately he tried several times to call his magic to keep her warm, but his powers kept eluding him. All he could feel was cold and pain. He had never felt this powerless. Why did his magic fail him? Why couldn't he help her? All he could do was sit and wait, wait for help to arrive.
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Cullen grabbed his fur coat and shouldered a pack with extra supplies. He looked at the men and women who had volunteered for the search. Splitting them in two, he directed them to the two different passes that led down to Haven to look for more survivors. He himself, followed by a handful of men, headed out in the direction Eirlana had gone the previous night. Before he made his way out of the camp, Cassandra caught up with him. "Cullen, you are set on this?"
"Yes, the more people are searching for survivors, the more we can save. Finally, this damned storm has stopped. Time is of the essence, we cannot afford to wait any longer."
They walked out of the valley as they saw a figure stumble out of the fissure and collapse to his knees.
Cullen couldn't believe his eyes, it was the Herald. "There it's him!" Cullen began to run followed by the others.
Cassandra knelt beside Ryan "Thank the Maker you made it."
Ryan was exhausted and wounded, his face affected by frostbite. Cassandra slung his arm over her shoulder and hoisted him up. "Come you need to see a healer."
Ryan turned his head back down the path he came. "Down there. Solas and Eirlana, they need help."
Cullen waited not another second and sped down the mountain.
The fast footsteps crunched and shifted the snow. Solas heard them and recognised Cullen voice calling out to them. "Cullen! Over here!" he yelled.
"Solas! Thank the Maker you made it."
Cullen knelt beside them as the other scouts followed his path down. He studied Solas face, strained by pain and exhaustion. "Can you walk?"
"With help. We need to get her warm. Quickly!."
"Understood." Cullen freed Eirlana from Solas' hold. He removed her wet cloak and wrapped his own around her. Her slender figure almost disappeared in it, its thick fur collar obscuring her delicate face almost completely as he scooped her up into his arms. A scout knelt beside Solas helping him up, another took the discarded cloak and their belongings. They were brought to one of the open tents. Healers were already caring for Ryan on one of the makeshift beds. Carefully Cullen lay Eirlana down on another. Solas sat down beside her. Briefly, Eirlana opened her eyes before slipping away again. Both men's concern grew as they saw her in the light. Her skin ghostly pale, her lips cracked by the cold and almost blue. One of the sisters called for more blankets and quickly started to remove her wet fur foot wrappings. "Her temperature is dangerously low. We need to get her in one of the smaller tents to slowly warm up."
"I will see to it." Cullen responded and left in a hurry.
With the wrappings removed Eirlana's pale blue feet became visible in stark contrast with the large dark scars encircling her ankles. The sister placed a warm cloth on them before wrapping another blanket around her.
"I will look for some dry clothes she can change into."
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Solas didn't pay much attention to the elven healer seeing to him, carefully removing his bandage. When she started picking out the shards to clean the wound further, he hissed out in discomfort. A large shard was lodged deep in his flesh, and Solas groaned as the healer tried to get it out. His fingers dug into the wood of the field bed. A sigh of relief left him as she finally managed to pull it out. It was a strange sensation as Solas felt his magic return to him. Without a second thought, he stopped the bleeding out of the large hole left behind.
"Please, can I have that." he held his hand out for the large shard. The healer raised an eyebrow but dropped it in his outstretched hand. It was smeared with his own blood. With his thumb, he whipped some of it away. The shard's energy felt wrong, corrupted and he could see faint red lines embedded in it, red lyrium. Solas slipped the shard into his coat when Cullen returned. "I have a tent where you can rest." with care he lifted Eirlana up. He waited for Solas to follow and let him through the tents and fires. Many survivors sat huddled together, an air of defeat and grief hung in the air.
"I will send the healers as soon as they are finished with the Herald."
"That will not be necessary. I will take care of her."
They came to a tent just as Cassandra exited, holding her and Cullen's shield. She held the flap open for them to enter. "It is good to have you back with us Solas." Solas gave her a courtesy nod before he followed Cullen.
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The tent was dimly lit by a small lamp. Several blankets and a sleeping fur lay ready, as well as a jug of warm water. Cullen placed Eirlana carefully on the fur and made room for Solas. "Do you need anything else?"
Solas groaned as he sat down next to her. "A sister went looking for dry clothes. They would be most welcome and a couple of hand-sized rocks."
"Rocks?" Cullen looked puzzled. "Never mind, you will get them."
Gently Solas stroked Eirlana's hair out of her face. At last, they had made it.
"Solas?" Eirlana stirred, her voice sounding weak.
Glad she had woken up, he tried to sit her up. "I know you are tired lethallan, but I need you to remove your wet clothes." It was difficult, but together they managed to strip her. To his relieve, her undergarments were still dry. With her secured under the blankets, he removed his own tattered clothes.
"Solas?" the voice of Varric called from outside.
"Yes."
Varric opened the tent, behind him squatted Iron Bull carrying several rocks of different sizes.
"Sorry, this is all that is free and dry at the moment." Varric gave him a shirt and a pair of elven leggings.
"Thank you." Solas crawled as best he could to the tent opening to take them.
"Glad you are still with us. That is a nasty wound you have there." Varric pointed at his torso stained with dry blood and covered in bandages.
"The worst is over. It will heal with time."
"Good to hear. I was worried shitless when I heard Snowflake left to look for you. How is she doing."
While Varric was talking, Solas took several rocks from Bull's arms. "She needs warmth and rest." He handed Varric the discarded wet clothes. "Can these be dried somewhere?"
"No problem. I will see to it. Rest. Call if you need anything we are right next door."
"Thank you." He closed the tent and set to work. Now with his magic returned he traced his fingers over the stones. Runes of a forgotten era appeared warming them up. He wrapped one in cloth, placing it under the blankets at Eirlana's feet. The others he laid out across the tent for warmth. Eirlana had fallen back to sleep. Taking the washing cloth, he swiftly cleaned her arms and face before dressing her in the shirt. He then washed the dried blood off himself before slipping into the dry leggings.
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Solas lay down beside Eirlana under the blankets. He pulled her against his naked torso, holding her secure in his arms. His legs intertwined with hers. Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead against hers and let his magic flow. His body heat engulfed her, slowly warming her frozen body. She felt so fragile, so fleeting in his arms. Softly he circled his thumbs, stroking her back. Never before had he been so aware of her mortality, the weight of it. The weight of the burden he had placed on her, on his own People. Yet she had risked it all, risked her existence to reach him. How could she be so fragile and so strong at the same time?
"They are stronger than you think." the words of his former long-time friend and agent Felassan came to mind. Back then he hadn't understood what he meant. He had only seen failure and insubordination. He regretted that he had killed him in his rage. Felassan had walked amongst the mortals as his eyes and ears for many years. Now that he walked amongst them himself, he began to understand what Felassan had seen.
Solas studied her sleeping face, raw and marked by the cold. Weaving a light spell, he healed the traces of frostbite and her cracked lips. She had come back for him, had walked hours alone in the storm to find him. This was the first time someone tried to protect him to this extent. In the past, countless people had fought and died by his side. Supported him in his goals but he couldn't recall that anyone ever wanted to protect him this much. He was Fen'Harel, the lone wolf. He didn't need help. The People came to him for protection, not the other way around. He felt a chill when he thought back at her protective stance, she would have defended him with everything she had.
He kissed her forehead. To his relief, she was getting warmer. "Please, be more careful." he whispered.
Eirlana stirred in her sleep. "Solas?" her voice sounded drowsy, her mind far away.
"Ssssh. Sleep, you need to rest." Solas stroked her damp hair.
She moved her body closer against him. Nuzzling her head against his. Sleepy she mumbled "Hmm warm … don't go." her lips brushed lightly against his jaw and neck as she spoke.
Solas inhaled sharp, a pleasant shiver ran over his body. His stomach fluttered as her lips continued to move. Mumbling something inaudible before she drifted back to sleep. His heart hammered in his chest. Solas took a deep breath to calm himself down. Laying warm and comfortable against her body he listened to her deep and even breaths until he drifted asleep.
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Eirlana was in a dark old damp room.
How did she get here? She couldn't remember.
The energy in the room felt wrong.
Rough laughter sounded behind her. In fear, she spun around.
A locked door was behind her. Had the door been there before?
The rough laughter continued. She knew these voices. No! She shook her head. This was wrong!
Heavy steps could be heard, they drew closer and closer.
Panic spread through her. She needed to get away.
Focused on the door, she took a step back. The rattling of chains had her looking down. Her hands and feet were bound by heavy chains to the ground.
The door flew open with a loud crash. Her eyes went big with fear. Her throat closed up from sheer terror as the half-dressed ex-templar entered. Intoxicated he swayed on his feet. He gave her an evil grin as he closed in on her, slowly opening his trousers.
Terrified Eirlana tried to get away, but the chains held her in place. Desperate she tugged at them. This wasn't real, this was a dream. She started screaming. "NO! You are not real! You are dead!"
He kept coming closer, eyeing her lecherous. "Come be a good girl."
"NO! Get away!."
With a shudder she awoke, fear and adrenaline running through her body. It was dark, someone held her. She could feel the naked flesh that wasn't hers pressing against hers.
Panicked she pushed, kicked, scratched. She couldn't get away, tangled in the blankets. Hands tried to grab her again. "NO!" She lashed out. Tumbling backwards she fell against the cold canvas of the tent.
A globe of light appeared. Solas looked alarmed at her. He had awoken abruptly by her sudden screams. Before he could do anything, she attacked him. His chest stung where her nails had left deep bloody scratches.
Eirlana stared at him, her eyes big with fear. She was panting, visibly shaking.
"Eirlana?"
She flinched as he spoke. Her lip began to quiver, and tears rolled down her cheeks. "It was a dream." she whispered. Hugging her knees, she rolled up into a ball crying. Rocking back and forward she kept saying to herself. "He is dead. It was a dream."
"It was a dream... a dream."
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Carefully Solas crawled closer. He pulled her into his arms. For a second time, Eirlana cried against his shoulders. Solas held her sobbing body tightly, trying to comfort her. Gently he stroked her head until she calmed down.
Wiping away her tears he tugged her back in. "Come lethallan let me take you to another place."
He cast a light spell to ward off any more harmful spirits before their minds entered the Fade. He led her to one of his treasured memories of the ancient gardens of Arlathan.
It was night. Soft music of harps and flutes filled the air. Their feet walked over soft mossy paths. Above them, countless tiny lights filled the air, recreating the starry sky amongst the giant trees. Gentle spirits roamed these gardens, memories of lost songs and tales spun by forgotten artists. Nightly flowers bloomed everywhere, colourful moths fluttered in the air and fireflies danced over the lilies on the lake. Solas sat down in a secluded alcove looking out over the water. He pulled Eirlana down onto the cushions into his arms. She didn't struggle as his arms closed protectively around her. Securing her against his body. She leant against him, grateful for his presence. Her mind drifted, taking in this wonderful place, the nightmare forgotten. They didn't speak much that night while listening to the music and calls of night birds. Savouring the comfort of each other's presence.
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It was early morning when Eirlana woke up from the growing activity of the camp. The dull sounds of axes felling trees, people walking past the tent talking. Reluctantly she opened her eyes. Her breath hitched, Solas face lay only inches from hers. He was sound asleep. His arms wrapped around her, holding her against him. The feeling was overwhelming, intense, so different from the Fade. It felt far more real. She was aware of every breath he took, could feel his muscles pressing against her. His body heat wrapping around her like a blanket. She felt warm, comfortable and safe.
Being so close she noticed the light dark circles under his eyes. The exertion of their journey and his wounds had taken its toll. Thinking back at how she had found him, she almost couldn't believe he had survived. Her eyes studied his face intensely as if she saw it for the first time. The light freckles around his nose, his prominent jawline, the high cheekbones and the dimple in his chin. When her eyes reached the scar on his forehead, she wondered how he had gotten it. Her eyes wandered down again towards his lips. A smile lay upon them.
Why was he smiling?
Her eyes shot up meeting his grey-violet ones, that were sparkling. He was awake.
Immediately Eirlana started blushing. How long had he already been awake? Was it rude of her to stare at him like that? Did he know she found him handsome? Handsome? With that thought, her face flushed a shade darker. Why was she thinking that?
Solas kept smiling at her. "Good morning." He had felt her moving when she woke up, her body resting against his. Holding still he had watched her, peeking through his eyelashes.
Flustered Eirlana stammered. "Good morning." She wanted to move, but his arms still held her. Was it rude to free herself? What should she do?
Solas noticed her sudden shyness. He found it fascinating, her flushed cheeks beautiful. He wanted to tease her more, but he reluctantly let go of her when he felt her body tense up.
Eirlana sat up moving away from him. Not knowing what to do or say, she began picking at the sleeve of the large shirt she wore. Questions flooded her mind. Was it strange she found him handsome? Why didn't she mind being close to him? What did he think of her? Wasn't she bothersome?
Without her noticing, her shirt slipped from her shoulders, exposing them. Her body had grown healthy in the past months they had spent together, but he never noticed before the womanly figure that she was slowly getting. Solas suppressed the need he felt to pull her close again, to feel her soft body once more.
From outside the tent came the screeching voice of Sera. Being chased by what sounded like Iron Bull. With the world penetrating their small sanctuary Solas sat up with a groan. His muscles stiff, his wounds not completely healed. Eirlana gasped as she saw the deep scratches she had caused.
"I... I am so sorry."
Before she could move further away from him, he took her hands. "You had a nightmare. You were scared."
"I..."
Solas put his finger on her lips. "Sssh, It's all right. It was worth getting these scratches. Otherwise, we wouldn't have had an excuse to visit the gardens of Arlathan." to his joy her cheeks flushed again.
He let go of her and began to remove his bandages, they were itchy and bothersome.
Forgetting her shyness, Eirlana reached out. "Here. Let me help."
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Solas walked away from the stifling atmosphere that clouded the camp. During the day they had secured more supplies, cared for the wounded and found a few survivors, but no one had any idea what they should do next. Spirits were crushed, and most of the survivors were in shock. He needed room to think, to adapt his own plans. Things had changed now Corypheus had revealed himself and his insane plan to become a god. Not that he would succeed, rather he would fail and crush this world in a wave of destruction.
The audacity of the creature to claim he had crafted the Anchor. It was a lie. Everything the Imperium ever had accomplished was founded on the bones of his People. The Imperium's achievements, powers and magic stolen and twisted to serve as their own. Solas had witnessed in his dreams, the slaughter and abuse the Imperium had brought to the People as a result of his actions. Now once more Corypheus wanted to bring back the Imperium of old. And through his actions, Corypheus had the power in hands to do so. He needed to be stopped.
Now the Inquisition was aware of Corypheus existence, they would actively hunt him down. All of Thedas would flock to their banners as they gathered more allies, to combat this evil. They would clash again in the future, and ultimately Corypheus reckless behaviour would be his undoing.
Solas knew if his performance in the last battle was any indication, he was not ready to engage Corypheus alone. He was still too weak after his long slumber. It would be wiser for him to stay and support the Inquisition, even though he didn't always agree with their actions. It was the safest path to get control over his orb again and strengthen the Veil in the meanwhile. He could keep an eye on the Anchor and take advantage of the growing influence of the Inquisition. He would have access to more information, and he would in return feed them the right amount of information to direct their efforts.
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This led to the next question where to go. All day the advisers had pored over the maps, discussing their options to no results. They needed a new base, staying here was out of the question. Already the wounded were losing the battle against the cold. With the current political struggles and the Inquisition trying to be an independent force, meant they couldn't turn to Orlais or Fereldan. Both countries would take offence if they chose one over the other. And any Lord, Marquis or Duke would be nervous if suddenly a foreign army would take residence at their front door.
Solas knew of another option, Tarasyl'an Te'las was relatively close by or Skyhold as it was called nowadays. Though he felt reluctant to suggest it. He had a history with that place even when nothing of his manor had survived to this age. Others had build strongholds in its place. Now there stood an abandoned castle waiting for new occupants. It was ironic he had to return to one of his former homes to engage the mess he had started. He had found that the Veil was strong there. The magic of the place hadn't faded away, you could still feel its presence unto this age. It had seeped into the stone, lingered in the air. Returning there would be strange.
Solas eyes wandered back to the camp. He spotted Cullen walking with his head down over some reports almost colliding with Eirlana. After a few lines of conversation, Eirlana walked further in his direction. Solas felt a twinge as he saw Cullen's eyes follow her. The wolf in him growled, his fur bristled. He peeled his eyes from Cullen. What had started as curiosity was growing into something quite different, these feelings he was developing were worrisome and dangerous. He knew he was crossing a line with his growing relationship with her. He could hear his reason warning him, if he would go any further, it would complicate things significantly. There was still time to avoid it. He had to distance himself from her, ignore his increasing feelings.
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Eirlana came closer, thankful she was a moment away from the despairing atmosphere. Solas was watching her with burning eyes. She could almost feel his intense stare physically. It was making her a little nervous, but a strange warmth spread through her at the same time, unaware it made her smile.
Solas chest tightened at her shy expression. Yes, this was getting troublesome.
What would happen if he brought her to Tarasyl'an Te'las? What could she uncover? He knew with the strong Veil, there were no lingering spirits at present that could 'tell' on him. They fled the place when he created it, but that was no guarantee she wouldn't discover secrets about him. What would she do if she would discover who he was? What would she think of him? Would she be afraid of him? Would she have protected him if she knew what he had done?
Eirlana coughed. "What are you doing out here?"
"I needed some space to think what our next course of action should be."
"I believe we have to get out of here fast. With the cold and no hope, the wounded will not make it."
Solas was worried, she looked worn out. Not yet fully recovered, she had spent the day helping to take care of the wounded. He noticed a cut on her face. "What happened?" on impulse he took her chin and moved her head to get a better look.
"What?"
"That wound on your face."
"Oh." she touched it. "One of the soldiers had a nightmare about the attack. He flailed and struck me. I forgot about it. There are so many wounded. People are cold and getting sick. We can't stay here for long."
Solas placed his hand on her cheek, healing it. Eirlana closed her eyes, it felt warm and comforting.
Not removing his hand he brushed her cheek "You should take better care of yourself."
For a moment they stared at each other, both not really knowing what to do. Confused and unsure about these new feelings they had.
There it was, Solas thought, that dangerous line, he shouldn't encourage this any further. He removed his hand and turned his back. "I agree we need a new location. Staying here would be futile."
Eirlana stared at his back confused at his sudden distant tone. Had she done something wrong? She had to cough again.
Solas spun back around, concerned at her coughing. He made his decision, he needed to get her to a safe place. "I know of a place ideal for our needs."
When she saw his concern, it confused her even more. The physical world was difficult to understand, feelings and emotions were so much clearer and more straightforward in the Fade. Hoping everything was all right between them, she asked. "Where can we go to?"
"You will see. It is not that far away, but I have to convince Ryan and the others first."
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Solas started walking back, Eirlana following him. When they were in the camp, they spotted Ryan beside Mother Giselle, who began to sing a prayer to the Maker. More and more people joined her. Their crushed spirits rose up making room for hope and faith. They sang to praise their Maker with Ryan in the middle as their saviour.
Solas observed it with interest. Their faith was strong and could carry them far to rise up against Corypheus. It would be sorely needed in the days to come. The walk towards Skyhold was challenging, and many of the wounded would perish on the way. What bothered him was, what that faith would do if he revealed too much. He needed to tell just enough to secure his place as an advisor but not too much to raise any suspicion.
As he approached Ryan, he overheard Mother Giselle. "Faith is made stronger by facing doubt. Untested it is nothing." before she left him.
"A word?" Solas bade Ryan before leading him away from the camp. "A wise woman, worth heeding. Her kind understands the moments that unify a cause. Or fracture it."
"What did you want Solas?"
"I recognised the orb Corypheus carried. It is ancient magic of elven origin. I believe Corypheus used it to open the Breach. Unlocking it must have caused the explosion that destroyed the conclave."
"How do you know all this."
"I have seen such things in the Fade, old memories of older magic. They were called foci and used to channel ancient magic. I don't know if Corypheus is aware of its origin, but it worries me how people will react when they learn of it."
"We have bigger concerns at the moment, no matter where that cursed thing has come from."
"I agree, and I may have a solution."
"If you've something that will help us, now's the time to tell."
"Yes, now is the time. There lies an abandoned fortress to the north. It may provide us shelter and a place to rebuild."
"Are you serious? Come show it to me on the maps. If this is doable, we will leave at sunrise."
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They left the next morning, packing everything they could carry. Solas directed Ryan so he could guide them to Skyhold. The journey was difficult, but the people were high-spirited, determined to reach the place that would be their new home. As the night fell, they made up camp. Everyone was busy and talking, wondering where the Herald would lead them. Solas sat in a corner of one of the open tents for shelter. The whole day he had answered questions to Ryan and the advisers about Skyhold. What and how he knew about it, any details he could provide. Now he felt tired and needed some rest. His healed wounds felt tender and painful after the day's march. Secure in a blanket he leant back against a sack. He closed his eyes and tried to tune out the tumult surrounding him.
"How far do we have to go?"
"I am so thankful Commander Cullen found him."
"Praise Andraste that she protected the Herald. He is truly her champion."
"Here you go, Miss. I am sorry all beds are already occupied."
"Thank you." coughing. "I will find a spot."
Solas eyes shot open. "Eirlana."
Eirlana turned looking around until she spotted Solas at the back of the tent. A blanket in her arms she came to him. She looked even more exhausted than yesterday, her cough was getting worse. Forgetting all his reasons to distance himself he rearranged himself and opened his blanket, offering a place next to him. "Come. You can rest here."
Eirlana hesitated, his actions confused her. Since last evening, Solas had been distant to her. They had slept separately that night, and he had ignored her during the day. Only talking to her briefly when they took a short break. She had thought he was bothered by her. That he was angry with her because she had hurt him.
"Eirlana?"
A little worried she sat down beside him. His heat engulfed her like a second blanket. The closeness she felt towards him was strange, yet it felt safe and comfortable at the same time. She had never been so close with anybody in her life. Carefully she lay down beside him keeping a little distance between them. The noises around them died down as more people went to sleep. Eirlana kept pondering for the reason why Solas was acting different towards her and if she should ask him if she had done something wrong. Thinking he was already asleep she was surprised when he sighed deeply next to her. He rolled over, his arms embracing her and pulled her closer, cuddling against her. Shortly after she could hear his even breaths, he had fallen asleep holding her in his arms. Her heart hammered in her chest as butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Hoping everything was alright she drifted into the Fade.
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So after reading the Masked Empire, I decided to give Felessan an honourable mention in the story. I like the idea of Solas becoming aware of the worth of mortals during his time spent with the Inquisition. That even mortals with their fleeting lives can teach you something.