Item #2. Take samples.

Twilight nodded to herself and turned and went on to her next task.
Applejack gently nudged Twilight with her hoof.

"Hmm?" Twilight answered, turning to her friend.

"What kind'o samples would studyin' them sick ponies require exactly?" Applejack whispered, looking rather confused.
Twilight turned and opened her mouth to respond, but froze when she realized she had absolutely no idea. She turned back to the screen with a confused expression almost identical to Applejack's.

They never found out exactly what it would involve, because at that moment that camera had cut away from Twilight and to Rarity, who was very carefully picking her way through the outskirts of the resort. On the opposite side of the sandy, pleasant beaches there was rocky, hilly brush, and Rarity did not seem to appreciate it one bit.
"I'll show them," She muttered. "I'll show them I can do this, then they'll see." Her voice rose a pitch as she continued mockingly, "Oooh, Rarity's so pretty, so she must be weak. Hmmph. I'll show them. I'll show them a-AAAHHH!"

The viewers gasped.

She held up her hoof for careful inspection. "Oooh, I chipped it." She moaned.

An audible groan of disappointment could be heard from they who had expected great action.

"Why-why-all it takes is technique!" Rarity said. "You just have to apply an extra layer, and watch where you're going! That's all"
"Hello?" A voice called.

"H-Hello?" Rarity answered timidly.

A small, wiry stallion made his way through the bushes. "Hello, there." He said, gnashing his teeth.

Rarity blinked.

"You do not want to mess with me." Said the stallion menacingly, his horn glowing.

Rarity blinked again.

The stallion nodded. "Alright, Rixie, show her what we-Rixie? Oh, horseapples."
"Darling, are you lost?" Rarity asked, looking concerned.
The stallion started. "Oh," He said. "One of you. I...believe I can help you with something you're looking for, Rarity."

"Oh, that would be glorious." Said Rarity. "What's the name of your pedicurist?"
"What? Urgh-you're even more stupid then she said you'd be. I'm Ooze."

"What kind of a name is that?" Demanded Rainbow Dash.
"Ooze. It sounds...oozy!" Pinkie giggled.

"Be nice, you two." Twilight said. "Maybe he's from a different culture."

"I think it's...interesting." mumbled Fluttershy.

If you ever need me, just ask around about Tunabutt."

"Tunabutt!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'd say this guy's from a different culture, Twi." Rainbow Dash said, kicking her hooves back and propping her head up. "From a galaxy far, far, away."
"Tunabutt." Twilight answered, barely suppressing a laugh.
"Tunabutt? But what do you-Oh, my."

On Ooze's light blue flank was a very detailed looking fish. Rarity had little knowledge of ichthyology, but she assumed it was a tuna. Which it was, readers.
"W-wait, you want to help me wish my friendship problem?"
"Yes." Ooze sighed. "Now, my friend-buck, where'd she go?"
"Oh, oh, could you maybe just try and find me-"
"Look, my friend's around here somewhere." Promised Ooze. "You should run into her quickly enough. Adios." With that he slipped off.

Rarity looked at her chipped hoof, then at the resort behind her, then at the brush ahead.

Then she nodded her head in determination, and continued through the bushes.

"Wait a second!" Called Spike. "How did that guy know Rarity's name?"
Silence.

"Well, we seem to be a bit famous over there." Twilight said. "We are 'Harmony's Heroes' after all."
"We are?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

"We are?" Asked Pinkie.

"Well-in there, we are." Said Twilight, jabbing a hoof at the screen.

"And you do forget that I am making a name for myself in the fashion industry. Perhaps the movie is picking up on that."
"That guy doesn't look like he's very into that kind of thing." Said Rainbow Dash.

"Dash has a point." Applejack added.
"Maybe, maybe he just wants to help and see us all back together." Said Fluttershy.

"Yeah, I don't think that's how it's gonna go." Rainbow Dash deadpanned, casting the projection a half-interested look. Pinkie Pie was baking and singing some random little ditty.
"But wouldn't it be fun if it did?!" Pinkie Pie enthused.

"Eh. Not enough twists. Too predictable."

"Yeah." Said Pinkie, her mane drooping.
SSSSSLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP

The mane six turned back to the screen, where Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were sharing a sundae. Well, if sharing consisted of Pinkie Pie slurping down the whole thing in one gulp while Fluttershy got a few spoonfuls and a cherry.

They smiled at eachother. Then Pinkie Pie waved a bright orange earth pony. At the sight of being noticed by Pinkie Pie, his face turned bright red, and he hastily waved before hurrying off.

"Ten bits says that's the love interest." Rainbow Dash said.

"It's on!" Spike answered.

At that moment Dude walked by. Pinkie and Fluttershy waved at him. He glared at them.
"Any leads?" He asked.

"Oh! Uh...no."
Dude gave them a supremely irritated look, before vigorously biting at his shoulder. He got really into it, before noticing he was receiving stares and wandered off, attempting to be inconspicuous.

"OK, then," Twilight commented.

"It feels important," Said Fluttershy, "But I don't know how it would be."

Rarity was wandering back through the woods, shivering a bit as a wind blew through the air.

"Hello?"
A dark figure was emerging from the shadows. It was much taller and huskier than Rarity, who froze instantly at the sight.

It was...

"TRIXIE!" The mane six shouted together.

Well, it might have been Trixie. They had the same coat, mane, and eye color, but much larger and stronger, with a much sharper horn. Her usually perfectly styled mane instead short, wooly, and rather neglected looking, and she wore no hat or cloak. Her cutie mark was different as well, a half moon with a slender black dragon soaring over it instead of its usual.

"W-Who are you?" Rarity asked, sounding rather nervous.

"They call me Rixie." Was the answer, and as her mouth parted slightly the mane six got a view of fangs. "I come from zee Vild Vest."

"Heh, Vild Vest." Twilight murmured, trying to stifle another laugh, which turned into a snort, which increased the volume of Fluttershy and Rarity's titters tenfold, and before anyone knew it everyone was guffawing over the line and the delivery, to the point of where they nearly missed the next part.

Rarity, who had somehow managed to stay completely straight-faced throughout Rixie's introduction, asked, "Do you have something to tell me, Rixie?"
"I think you are vishing to solve a..." Rixie cooed.

"Friendship Problem?" Rarity suggested.

The other mare spat in disgust. "Vhat is vith zee Friendship Problem?" She groused. "The boss must be out of her mind. There is nothing to do with Friendship Here. Just call it a-"
"There's Friendship everywhere, darling." Rarity intoned.

"Argh! Cease your assault vith your corny harmony phrases! It burns! But if I vere you, I definitely vould not go into...zee caves."
"Caves?"
"Ah, yes. Zee caves. No matter how big a lead is in zere. Better safe then dead…"
"DEAD?!"
"SShhh…" Rixie whispered. "You might stand a chance if you bring a few friends along. If not-" Rixie made a cutthroat gesture, causing Rarity to gasp. "Good Day, Miss Bell."
With that, Rixie sauntered off.

"I don't care what she says." Rarity said determinedly. "I'm going into the caves!"
"Uhh...Rarity, that's actually a pretty bad idea." Rainbow Dash told her.

"Dash is right, why would you take advice from a bad guy?" Fluttershy asked.

"What the hay do you-w-wait, Darlings? When did Rixie become a bad guy? She's been on screen for only two minutes!"
"Trixie's changed, you two." Said Twilight. "She WAS a bad guy."

"But that's not Trixie, Twi! That's Rixie! With an R!"
"Let's see, almost identical names, suspiciously similar cutie mark, same colors. It's pretty obvious who she's meant to be."

"But she IS different, Twilight,"

"And she completely let her hair go!" Rarity wailed. "Why-why one might mistake her for a sheep!"
"Ah think that's a bit o' a stretch, Rarity." Said Applejack, draping her forehoof over Rarity's neck.

"Well, Perhaps." Said Rarity, snuggling into Applejack's shoulder. "But not much."
"And she's a vampony!" Continued Rainbow Dash. "Did anyone notice her teeth?"
"Or her vampony accent?"
"It's not a 'vampony' accent, it's a 'Trotsylvanian' accent-"
"That's purty much the same thing, sug," Applejack interjected.
"AND," Twilight finished, "Vamponies aren't real."

"I was a vampony." Fluttershy whispered.

"You were a Batpony. That's different."
"Anything can happen in a story, Twi." Said Pinkie.

"Like vamponies!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed triumphantly, rubbing her hooves together with anticipation.

"...Fair enough." Twilight answered after a moment's consideration. "But-But that doesn't mean that she's bad!"

"You just have to put the signs together, Twilight." Said Rainbow Dash solemnly. "And it's as plain as day."

"Yeah." Pinkie agreed. "And who's that 'boss' Rixie was going on about?"
"Maybe she was talking about Dude." Fluttershy put in timidly.

"Last I checked, Dude was a stallion." Rainbow Dash told her. "We're talking about sompony else." Her eyes narrowed. "Somepony dangerous."

"Oh, for heaven's sake, just because she has a superior employee doesn't make her inherently evil." Rarity interrupted. "You need to move on, all these pauses are making the movie difficult to enjoy."
"Sorry, Rarity." Pinkie Pie said, hanging her head. "We're just trying to interpret the signs as we saw them."
"According to you, there are signs everywhere." Rarity huffed.

"Yep. Probably," Said Rainbow Dash.

"Indubitably." Rarity answered sarcastically. "May we continue?"
Nobody had anything else to bring up, so the movie was continued.
A/N: There's something fishy about Tunabutt, eh? Reviews are always appreciated! Tell me what you think!

"I come from zee Vild Vest…"

-Rixie