Love.
Love?
Once someone says that it can't be put away. You can't claim you haven't said it and even with the outbursts the battles and the internal struggle going on in front of Chris he knew damn well his message had gotten through. Piers had stopped all his struggles completely, just still as a stone carved statue with mismatched orbs reading completely blank, as though the word had shut off his brain and all other functions. He'd expected him to seethe, roar, something like what had happened when he kissed him. Meaningless gestures is what Chris had decided they would be referred to from now on if he couldn't back them up. When their lips had touched that time, what seemed like an eternity ago Piers had taken the day and almost clocked him when he dared to show his face. He deserved that. His visage must have been anything but appealing to behold. It was concern, mingling like bad intercourse with are you going to hit me; where Piers was all blanket stare. Its like someone shut off a switch and his brain broke down. Over load from all the shit that had been thrown at him. Maybe he should have given him space before throwing the revelation at him, some time between the battles to recover, but he hadn't expect absolutely no reaction at all. "Piers? You hear me soldier?" No shit Sherlock, obviously he heard you, what else would have shut down his senses completely like that? Of course this was Chris, and no one could ever boast him to be anything but straight forward. He acted and thrived on split second decisions, like this one. Or laying with Piers. Of course that also had left him vulnerable to making stupid almost mind numbingly so decisions, like walking on the only person who had always been there for him. Rather than wait for the explosion Chris tried to take it as a good sign and instead of letting the sniper recover, he laid it on. Like he should have at the beginning when he finally discovered how he felt.
"I was a royal ass, I know, okay, I know. A goddamn moron. I should have listened to you the first time. I was shocked, obviously, but... That didn't make it right. I shouldn't have said those things, done them. But I knew okay? I knew from day one, that I loved you. It took me longer than you yes, but I knew." he was trying to hold his gaze on Piers but the sniper had finally broken from his stillness with a tiny shake of his head back and forth, blinking repeatedly, but Chris wasn't going to let him go, not again. He was always letting go and doing something stupid, not this time. He didn't let him recover, just kept talking, pouring on his emotions out for the first time in a very long time, trying to get something to seep in to the almost bewildered expression on his partner's face. "I love you. I know, about the infection Piers. It doesn't take a genius, though I should have accepted it earlier than I did. You've never done anything to hurt me and I've thrown countless blows at you. Infected or not, I still love you. Electricity or not." Speak of the devil, he could feel those tiny sparks again nip his fingertips. "Mutation or not, and I might be thick, it might take a long time for me to accept things, but I know, you still have it so don't deny it just hear me out. I don't care, I'll work around it. We'll ge-
"Are you insane!?"
Looks like the shock wore off.
"You... I can't even list the shit you've thrown at me. You are... Love?! Are you..., wha... CHRIS!?" Piers voice hitched, words jumbled. Yanking away his arms, trying to peel away, jerk himself into free space but Chris would have none of it. Even if it meant that he was going to have to get socked in the jaw because of it, the captain didn't relent held fast to him as the shocks sparked up again. He didn't even know what to say, it was clear. He couldn't speak; his face was flush and his body had gone from rigid to frantically pulling away. "You don't understand Chris, I already said it okay! You don't want this, you don't want-
"I want you! Only you," Another weak attempt at escape, "Piers stop struggling please, just look at me. Look me in the face." They continued this way for minutes and Chris tried to keep his patience, the patience he was never very well known for as the younger, lithe body lost every ounce of its training. If Piers really wanted to get away from Chris, at least if he had when he was in his right senses he could have done it without trouble. He taught him hand to hand and made sure if there was trouble in a situation like one where Piers was against something even the size of a napad he could at least counter it or push back. In this state however he was nothing more than a child trapped. "Piers stop!" They wrangled with one another for another five minutes until Piers finally threw up his arms and looked away, refusing to meet the captain's eyes, jaw clenched. "Thank you..." For not struggling anymore, for refusing to look at him, Chris was starting to bite his cheek, all he could see his profile, and glossy salty drops coating his silver eye. It was misery seeing him this way, knowing he'd caused it. If he'd only said something prior, if he hadn't walked away. Damn him for walking away. He could make this right though, and he would make him see even though he knew that Piers already knew. It explained his stammering, and fear, and the outrage. If Piers believed Chris was lying, he would have just hit him already.
"I've wasted enough time on you Chris-
"No. You've wasted all your time on me, except its not a waste Piers. You remember. You remember Edonia. Every time I threw myself into the goddamn job so far I would lose myself. Even when people were dying I refused to listen. You were there and you were the only one who would stand up to be. You challenged me. Every step of the way. You always have."
"Because you're a stubborn ass!"
"Exactly! Because I'm a stubborn ass. But you know more than anyone how stubborn I am. You dragged me out of that hell hole, and you saved my life back there. Then you made me go back into it, even when I didn't want to because you were just as stubborn as I am. You knew it was worth it. Its worth it! Love is worth being stubborn for."
"You walked away!"
"I did! But you didn't. You saved me in China again! And you challenged my authority every single step of the way. You got in my face and pushed me. You put yours hands right here on my chest and literally shoved me soldier." Strong hands, wrapped forcefully around slimmer wrists, slamming them up against his own chest and holding them there, in the exact same place where the sniper had once leveraged a shove against those broad pectorals. The action finally breeched all refusals to meet this war head on and Piers' brilliantly colored eyes locked on his own, staring at his hands held against Chris' chest and up again; passed his stubble covered jaw, strong contours and once broken nose (courtesy Albert Wesker), until he'd finally met warm brown eyes. Taking in short shallow breaths he was finally catching his sanity again, examining the truth in those eyes because for the life of both them neither could have lied to save their lives. "You see that? This? We fight, its what we do. Not because we don't mix well, but because we do. We aren't the same as other people Piers. When we fight its because we are perfect together. Because we want what's best for each other so we stand up to one another when we have to, because we love each other. You wouldn't let me go then, you made damn sure I pushed through it in Edonia. In China. Its my turn now, to push you and finally not walk away and see it for myself. You did your part Piers, its my turn now."
"But Chris... Ja-
"Don't!"
He didn't care about Muller. Stupid goddamn sick little child, living with daddy issues from having a mass murdering viral scientist, who didn't hug him enough. If he was Wesker he wouldn't have either with the way he was treating Piers and Sherry. This was what he meant by his turn to be stubborn. Piers shoved him when he'd made his point about Ada Wong, about getting Alpha team killed. It was his turn to show his sniper the bad choice he was making. Jake didn't understand who he was dealing with. It was clear Muller had done something to make the sniper give a rat's ass (gratitude only deserved for bringing him back from the dead), but it didn't matter now. He couldn't have him. No one else could have Piers and he was going to make sure that from now on every single person new it. Starting with the one finally staring him in the eyes, teary and as though he were finally seeing him for the first time. As though Chris was finally seeing him. "You walked away Chris. How was I suppose to... How am I suppose to watch you walk away a thousand times? I'm a soldier, and my orders come from my captain. No one else mattered except you and I because I knew when I pushed, you'd push back. This was different." Lithe, slim fingers wrapped in the fabric of his captain's shirt, sighing and it seemed all fight fled with it, hands shaking for the first time in a long while. As a sniper, those hands were more steady than a surgeon's, but right now without clinging to the navy blue cotton stretched over a taut muscled chest they would have trembled, watching tiny sparks fly. "You walked away from me because I'm infected because you were disgusted. What makes this any different?"
"I didn't walk away because you're infected Piers. You are not disgusting, would I kiss someone I found disgusting? Make love to them?" Brown eyes narrowed, searching those cocktailed eyes that had so much conviction in them before and so little self worth now. "Piers I walked away because I didn't want to know. I knew then, but I didn't want it to be true. Not because I was hurt or unhappy with you; because I was scared for you. I didn't want to think you'd been in that kind of danger for so long and I was stupid enough to pretend you were fine. You needed me Piers, and I was scared because people who need me... they wind up dead. I didn't want that to happen to you. It already had. You killed yourself for me and I couldn't believe I didn't see it all, not until now."
Chris' palms moved away from the backs of younger shaky ones, sliding down muscled arms that reminded him of the strength behind the man. Slim, lithe, and strong as hell. These two arms carried that anti-material rifle on their own, on the run, with deadly accuracy. Held tight to Chris when he'd dangled over the side of the building, one arm clasped where he was on the verge of death and every confidence they would be fine. Stroking down his forearms to his biceps, he could feel the difference in the two. His right more predominant than the left, but just by a hair. Gripping those firm biceps, he admired those arms, up to his shoulders, pulling their bodies flush together. No resistance was met. That slim body fit perfectly in the fold of large arms, tracing his spine, down to his tapered waist that he'd taken advantage of just shortly ago. He should never have done that, but it granted some familiarity holding his sniper. His partner. He could imagine that body so much differently now, in all his B.S.A.A. gear rather than stripped down bare for Chris' hungry brown eyes. He was two different people. A soldier who was strong and unwavering. To a beautiful young man who was scarred by the world he refused to take part of. But Chris didn't want him separated, he wanted them both, and he had him. Cool collected soldier with softer calloused hands holding his captain to him, wordlessly.
They were doing the same things to one another. Feeling each other out. Hands gliding over one another, holding each other to them. Piers was letting Chris. He wasn't saying anything though and that was the uncomfortable thing. Chris wanted to hear approval, say anything... or at least yes. Yes was all he wanted to hear. Jake Muller had ruined a good part of this relationship with his filth. He was nothing, that son of a bitch meant absolutely nothing, what he wanted... what he wanted was to take Piers out of this place and show what he really thought about him. And after that... after that Muller would get what was coming to him. First this, then Jake. He didn't even want Wesker's like satanic spawn child near this conversation. He wanted this to be them, between only them so that it Piers would understand that he meant every word. "You mean something soldier. Everything. You're worth more than what I've given to you. I'm your captain, and its about time I started acting like it instead of running my mouth. I. Love. You."
Love.
Piers stared for a long while. His mind gone along with his sanity for a long while. His body had numbed along with his responses when Chris had uttered those words. He'd expected him to fight with him. Talk about how Jake was the last person who the sniper should be giving himself over to, but instead of everything he had concocted in his brain, nothing prepared him for love. Love wasn't something familiar with soldiers in his line of work. The S.O.U. Alpha unit was basically a death sentence. They didn't have time to think about love. Unless of course you were Piers Nivans and you knew damned well that your love had been given over to a man who would never have you. Everything went into slow motion as soon as the letter 'I' emerged from rough thin lips, demanding his full attention. When 'love' finally made its way into it his mind completely when devoid of all thoughts and emotions. He had no daydreams about his relationship with captain Chris Redfield from the beginning, but yet... just in that moment. Everything seemed so like he might have imagined it..., if he was completely naive and had just come trodding into a Disney animated movie. He wasn't some fairytale princess though, and that's what finally broke his silence and his wandering mind.
His outrage had come only after he had finally seen the light. Chris was spewing non-sense. Even if he believed all that garbage he was saying you can't just 'work around' having an incurable version of a highly contaminating virus. Had he completely lost it? Sure he had... and he tried contesting it too, but instead all he could hear was the sincerity his captain was good for. All the words he'd hoped to hear for the last few years all pooling between them while confessions were made and his balance was lost. His hands didn't start shaking until he started to lose his resolve. When his captain was speaking about how they were meant to be. Meant to be... He wanted to believe that so badly. He couldn't find the will to fight back anymore, just listen while a man he'd known to shut himself off from ever emotion but anger spilled a lifetime's worth of confessions to him. He meant everything? Everything?
Chris didn't understand all aspects of the life the sniper lived after getting taken under the water. He had been left behind, on purpose. Chris' cries had broken his soul and after having destroyed the Haos, the facility around him had exploded. Everyone saw it, the force of the explosion was strong enough to surge the escape pod of his commanding officer, up into the air, cushioned when it crashed back into the rough waters. Unconsciousness hadn't been so kind to Piers...
The water crushed around Piers in an instant. Watching the creature known as Haos hunt his captain even in death was his dying act. To kill it. The integrity of the building had been compromised and it strained beneath the wait of the Chinese black waters. Launching the electricity into the water, bolts surging through the currants and capturing the beast in its own skin... he knew it would destroy the facility. Better to die in an explosion than slowly drown. However, he hadn't anticipated that using the 'gift' that the C-virus had bestowed upon him, made it all the more one with his cellular level. Upon releasing that electric wave his flesh tore and pain overtook his being. His chest and back tore apart in pieces as the c-virus molded him into a kind of being it could be proud of. The appendage sustained the massive damage, blood filling he waters around him that crushed in around him. Him alone. But at least Chris was safe. That was all that mattered then. His screams went muted as oxygen bubbled form between his lips, water having encompassed him as his body felt every nerve on fire of pain, every millisecond that passed allowing the mutation of dark slick flesh to replace his own along his ribs, back, chest, creeping along his neck and leg until the explosion.
He'd seen the cocoon that had encompassed Haos before it loosed. The stiffness of this new 'flesh' was something he imagined to appear in the same fashion as water crushed his lungs and they too were replaced by the grey sickening fluids. His body was overtaken by the virus and the world went dark for what seemed like forever. Unconsciousness hadn't come... just silence. His body burned, a torch lit inside his gut and burning away what was left of his old self. He had to think, concentrate. He had done the right thing. He'd saved his captain. Why couldn't it just let him die? Destroyed limbs and organs, body parts that the explosion had taken from him were reformed in greyed horrible, slick and sticky tissue, pulsing like the thick electrified appendage that hugged his insides to him. He was being remade in it's image. Chris would come back for him someday..., and he would be the one. He would kill whatever this thing had turned him to, and he felt his mind go numb at long last as what remained of his body burned away.
The cocoon cracked and opened, unaware of how long it had been or even who he was. Until light hit the silver of his eyes, Chris' visage before his eyes.
That had all been... until it wasn't Chris. It was Jake who found Piers. How dealt with what he had turned into. It took three weeks before he would believe he was still alive and even then. No one had seen what he'd become except for Muller. Jake had battled with the creature Piers had become for close to two months. Hand to hand, restraining, whatever it took to keep the mutation he'd become at bay. No Sherry, no Chris. Jake had come back for him. It took much longer to understand it. To understand anything. Jake continued to tell him through the endless hours of battling that he wasn't a monster, that Piers had saved him. Saved Sherry. It was because he'd saved Sherry that Jake came to find him. He never told Piers how long he had been a creature until he'd reverted back to himself. His mind was never completely gone, at least that's what Muller said. That it just needed aid. But he would never be the same. That this body of his wasn't, no matter how much he wanted, human. He was a reconstructed version of himself. That's when he'd broken. When Piers discovered he wasn't him, he was exactly what he'd fought being from day one.
Chris would never know what had happened between Jake and Piers, but like this staring at him... he didn't want him to. Somewhere along the lines Jake had turned into the monster. Staring at Chris now he knew he wanted to believe that he could love him. But then, Chris didn't know. He couldn't know. His worst thoughts were that Piers was simply infected, that his arm was still mutated and his body was and mind were still his own. Worst case scenario for Chris wasn't the half of what Piers could and had become. Holding him like his, he could feel his body under his skin shift just from the thoughts swimming in his head. Jake cared because he cared about Sherry. That's what it came down to. He didn't love Piers, he never would. He came to act that way because in all honesty he hated Piers. He wanted their relationship over. There wasn't one and he didn't want it to continue but they knew so long as Piers was this thing, he needed an outlet, one that wouldn't infect others if he was going to keep this charade for Sherry that he saved Piers, who had saved the world from Haos. And Piers needed it to continue to function. That was until those words came out of Chris' mouth. Love. Could he really let Chris' love come second? He'd done all of this, become this... thing, for this man. It would free Jake, but confine him. So why was it so hard to say anything as those experienced older hands manipulated him holding him? Waiting for an answer. No... mutation, infection, lifestyle aside... no. All of that aside. He'd lived to hear those words from Chris. Fuck everything else.
"Captain, my captain."
"I will never turn away from you Piers, never. No matter he consequences, no matter what fear of concern dictates. I will always be here. I swear it, I love you."
"I love you too Chris."
I was intending on posting this yesterday, but I fell asleep. So sorry about that guys. Anyway! I may or may not do a sequel to this depending on the response, but YES that i the finish. For the Jake fans out there... if I have enough time and requests, I'll write the PiersXJake Prequel however!
FIN!