After several sled rides down the roof (and several sled rides around the backyard, courtesy of Bud and Lou), Arleen and J.J. were happier than ever. They returned inside to be greeted with more hot cocoa from their grandmother, and a mountain of presents, which they pounced on and ripped open, with help from Bud and Lou. As the evening drew on, and the fire burned down in the grate, J.J. was happily alternating between playing and chewing on a wooden dreidel, while his sister did the same with a brand new princess doll.

"You'd better get on that scheme, puddin'," reminded Harley.

"Yeah, yeah, in a second, Harl," he replied. "Quit nagging, would ya?"

Arleen held up her doll to him happily. "She's pretty, ain't she?" asked Joker, pulling his daughter up onto his lap. "Blonde hair, blue eyes…bit Aryan for a doll, actually. Should you really be playing with this?" he asked, taking it from her. She immediately started wailing, and he quickly shoved it back into her arms, which cheered her up instantly. "I'm just surprised your grandparents gave this to you," he commented.

"Puddin', you're overcompensating," retorted Harley. "Anyway, I got blonde hair and blue eyes, and so does Leenie."

"Oh…yeah," agreed Joker, slowly. "Guess some stereotypes just aren't true, huh?"

"Yeah," agreed Mr. Quinzel. "Like criminals making terrible fathers."

Joker smiled at him. Harley stood up. "I'll go do the dishes and leave the kiddies to play with their toys."

"I'll give you a hand, Harley," said her father.

"Me too," said Mrs. Quinzel. "There are a lot of them."

"Mazel tov, gwanna!" called J.J.

"Good boy, J.J.!" exclaimed Joker. "You can almost speak both English and Yiddish! Who's my little genius?!"

"I hope you'll both come stay again," said Harley, shutting the door to the kitchen. "This whole Christmas has turned out a lot better than I expected."

"Glad to know we can still surprise you, Harley," replied her mother, smiling at her.

"Actually, it's Mr. J who's surprised me most this year," said Harley. "He's usually obsessed with his Christmas scheme for the Bat weeks in advance. If he don't hurry up, he won't have one done in time, and the Bat will actually have to take a night off and spend the holidays with the people he loves. Not that he probably loves anyone," she muttered, heading over to the sink.

The dishes were finished about twenty minutes later, and Harley re-entered the living room intending to remind Joker about his scheme again. But she paused and smiled, her heart melting, as she stood in the doorway and saw the Joker fast asleep on the sofa with Arleen and J.J. curled up in his arms, and Bud and Lou at his feet, all of them equally fast asleep.

"Aw, they must have exhausted themselves from all that playing in the snow and sledding," she whispered to her parents.

"Should we wake them up?" asked Mrs. Quinzel.

"Nah," said Harley. "Batsy can take a break this year. Consider it his Christmas present from Mr. J."

She went over to the sofa and bent down to kiss them all goodnight. "Merry Christmas, puddin'," she whispered. "Merry Christmas, angels."

She flicked off the overhead lights, and then shut the door to the living room. The room was dark except for the embers of the fire and the Christmas tree lights glowing softly. J.J. stirred slightly, yawning. "Werry Kismas, Mama," he whispered. "Werry Kismas, Dada an Weenie."

Arleen shushed him. "Seep," she said firmly, cuddling her doll and her father.

"Mmm, couldn't have said it better myself, Leenie," murmured Joker. "Just going to sleep and not having a holiday scheme is gonna drive Batsy nuts! Not that he ain't already there. But now he's gonna be out all night, waiting for a crime that's never gonna happen," he chuckled. "Serves him right, too! Oh, who's laughing now, Bat-grinch?"

"Seep, Dada," repeated Arleen, reaching up a hand to cover his mouth.

"Sorry, angelface," he whispered, kissing her. "Merry Christmas to all…" he said, yawning and curling up with his children. "And to all a good night."

The End