Real talk: Aaaand we're back! So, I lied a little. While nothing's happy here it also isn't all that dark, as I decided to split what was supposed to be chapter 10 into two chapters. So, you get one last tame chapter where I establish a whole bunch of unexciting set-up for the next few chapters before everything goes horribly wrong for our heroes and stays that way for more or less the rest of the story.

As always, I cannot thank all of you favorite-ers, reviewers, and PMers enough. You have no idea how much it makes my day to see the e-mail notification that someone's acknowledging I exist and that they like what I'm doing.

Content Warnings:

So much foreshadowing

Lots of talking

Bonnibel isn't the best at learning lessons

Peer pressure

Unresolved angst

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Jake?"

"I've been thinking, and isn't it weird how you can't take off your underwear without taking your pants off first?"

"Jake… you don't wear pants."

"Yeah, but like. If I did. It's an important hindrance to the way I choose to live my life and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"

"Represent."

Completely ignorant of Princess Bubblegum's dual crises of conscience and identity Finn and Jake, having thoroughly exhausted their appreciation of Cloud Hunt, had decided to say nuts to their beloved childhood game and instead climbed onto the roof of Marceline's house to stare at the ceiling of the cave. Jake had taken to laying on his back with Finn's bag as his pillow, while his younger brother found a comfortable position on his butt, knees pulled to his chest. Comfortable lulls during adventures were rare luxuries, but when they did occur the duo often chose to celebrate by star or cloud gazing while pondering the mysteries of the universe. This was certainly the strangest adventure they had ever been on and, despite the lack of sky, this only made for some serious pondering.

"Hey Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think bathtubs are just… reverse boats?"

"Nah man, bathtubs have their own stories going on."

"Like what?"

"Politics. It's all politics."

"Huh."

A comfortable silence settled over the two.

"Hey Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think the Marcelines are talking about? She ran into the house pretty fast when you brought up the Usurper."

"That's true, and it's definitely suspicious." He nodded, still staring at the ceiling.

When he didn't continue Finn did. "I'm sort of concerned about that."

"Why?"

"It seems like every time a Marceline gets anxious about something it's followed up by something terrible happening."

"Nah, you're being paranoid. I'm sure whatever's happening right now will in no way involve us and will just resolve itself in a timely and efficient manner."

Another silence befell them both before Finn broke it. "Nah, man. I'm gonna go see what's happening. See if we need to hero it up in here." He stood, turning to look at the dog. "You coming, Jake?"

His older brother scrunched his face in thought, rubbing his chin with his paw. "You make a very compelling argument. And the house is where the food lives…" As if reminded of some great life truth Jake bounded to his feet, picking up the green backpack. "Last one down's lame!" Rather than jump off, as would be his typical form of departure, he elected this time to turn into a slide, both brothers laughing as Finn gracefully slid from roof to ground. After Jake righted himself the two returned to the house, the boy strapping his bag on as they entered.

While the brothers found entertainment in pondering the mysteries of the universe Princess Bubblegum had taken to reading more of the diary, hoping that it could somehow shed light on her Cosmic Owl dream. It couldn't have come from nowhere. I'm missing something. The dream had revealed what actions she could have taken to avert the tragedy that befell her vampire, yet that wasn't enough. The damage has been done. How do I fix it? Think, Bubblegum! Every problem has a solution! As before, the entries were out of order but whereas before she found this fact an endearing reflection of its owner's general mentality in life she now found it frustrating. It's like her mind is trying to stop me from succeeding in helping her! Typical. She winced at the thought. I'm still doing it, aren't I? Maybe I can't-

"We're back! What did we miss?"

Finn's call snapped her out of her frantic search. In the few precious moments Princess Bubblegum was granted before the heroes could enter the living room she closed the diary, wrapping it securely with its string before returning it to her bag. Finn was a gentle, trustworthy soul but Jake was and would always be a snooper. By the time they found her she was sitting in a relaxed-yet-alert posture in her makeshift throne, both hands folded over her bag neatly. "Guten tag, Finn and Jake! How was your game?"

Finn frowned, and for a brief moment the princess was sure that her nervousness was visible. Her concerns were alleviated by the boy's next words. "Jake cheats."

The dog looked indignant. "That's slander, boy! You take that back!" Before a faux argument could break out Bubblegum sighed, closing her eyes briefly.

"Wait."

They did, turning their attention to her. Swallow your pride, Bonnibel. You can't do this alone. Most likely. "While you were outside I…" She paused, trying to overcome the taste of her own medicine. "...I fell asleep and had a dream."

Jake blinked. "Was I in it?"

She smiled sadly. "No. It was a Cosmic Owl dream."

No sooner had those words left her lips both of her champions took spots on the floor, lying on their stomachs, heads resting in their palms, arms supported by the elbows. Their eyes were wide with a mixture of understanding and fascination. "Wait, here? In Marceline's brain?!" Finn's voice was a whisper. "Can he do that?"

Unlike the boys, who wore smiles of awe, the candy golem's smile was melancholy. "Evidently."

Jake's squeal betrayed his excitement. "Tell. Us. Everything."

Her gaze turned towards the trapdoor, but the muffled voices had only groan louder, more engaged, and clearly their owners had no plans to descend anytime soon. Once she was sure that the boys were settled, and that she wouldn't be interrupted, she closed her eyes, sighed deeply, and began. "It was in an indeterminate time in the future, in the Candy Kingdom. I was in my body, but I had no control over my emotions or actions." When she opened her eyes she noticed both boys were leaning forward, eyes wide. She gracefully ignored their unsettling interest, clearing her throat to reclaim some of the dignity that this debacle of an adventure had robbed her of.

"It was in my castle, at a meeting I had called. Dozens of princesses were present." She spat the next words. "The Lich had returned." Two pairs of eyes widened further, Jake's paws covering his mouth, but their owners didn't interrupt. "The other kingdoms were close allies of the Candy Kingdom. Even the Fire Kingdom! But the biggest difference between that reality and ours…" She trailed off for several moments, not quite sure how to continue. When she finally did so her voice was tight with repressed emotion. "Marceline… she was Lady Evil. But she was still Marceline. Clearly chaotic, and rather disquieting, but she knew who I was. She knew what we were, what we meant to one another."

Finn tilted his head. "Wait. So she was controlling the amulet?" The implicit question: How?

Bonnibel's smile was forlorn as she removed her crown. "She was. She… she used my royal gem."

Jake made a strange, high-pitched noise that she elected to not address. Finn decided to be a bit more insightful. "Wait. I thought royal gems…?" He didn't need to finish the sentence for the princess to know where he was going with that thought.

"Yes. We… were married."

Now it was the boy's turn to make an odd noise, though this one was less high-pitched and more choking. "Woah. Like, legit married? Married married?" Bonnibel ran her right index and middle fingers over the gem, her attention focused entirely on it. It made relaying the dream so much more bearable to not look at the enraptured faces of her young friends.

"Yes, Finn. Married married." Her smile turned bittersweet. "I… made a bracer for her, and faceted my royal gem into it. She used it to help counter the malice of the amulet, giving her some control over its power while preventing her from falling prey to its influence."

"Would that actually work?"

The young monarch nodded absently. "It should, yes, though it is unprecedented. A royal gem's purpose is to filter out undue influence after all. If it could repel the Lich for a time it should grant some shielding from the chaos amulet as well."

Jake sounded awed. "Woooaaah. That's true love right there. You actually gave up your royal gem for her?"

Now the princess shifted in her seat. "Well, yes and no. While Marceline possessed my royal gem I retained the gem from my dagger." She sighed. No sense hiding from it now, Bubblegum. Just tell them. "Real talk, boys. This entire situation is entirely my fault." Finn moved to interrupt, but she shook her head and he settled once more. "That was the point of the dream. If I hadn't been so focused on making Marceline into what I wanted her to be I would have realized that there was a more appropriate solution to my dilemma. I lost sight of the very purpose of my endeavor, which was..." One pink hand unconsciously clenched the folds of the bag, the other the crown. "We were happy in my dream. And together. We shared a life and two kingdoms. Yes, she was clearly unstable, and the other princesses were more than a little afraid of her, but she was still Marceline. My Marceline." She could no longer look at either of the heroes. "My hubris prevented me from realizing that there was a way to get what I wanted without hurting her. I was just so obsessed with solving a problem I forgot who I was supposed to be solving it for."

Finn's expression turned somber at the sight of his princess so disheartened. "What are you going to do, Preebs?"

The crown was returned to its rightful spot. "I haven't devised a strategy yet. I need to impress upon Marceline that my actions were unnecessary and counterproductive while emphasizing that none of this was her fault. That she didn't fail me, I failed her."

Jake blinked. "Wait, she thinks this was her fault?"

"I have no concrete evidence, but…"

When she trailed off he nodded. "Nah, I getcha. You don't be with someone that long without picking up their little things they does."

Finn's gaze shifted to the trapdoor. "Are you going to tell her about the dream?"

The princess followed his look. "I… haven't decided yet."

Now his eyes turned to her in shock. "You have to, Bubs!" His voice dropped to a hiss of a whisper, "You can't just ignore a Cosmic Owl dream."

Jake nodded his agreement sagely. "Premonition dreams are serious biz."

She frowned, tearing her eyes from the trapdoor. "Is it really a premonition dream if the events are of an alternate reality?"

The dog raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think it's an alternate reality?" Bonnibel's retort died on her lips. He's… he's right. I just made yet another assumption. Am I wrong about this as well? The analytical part - which she was slowly realizing may not actually be all that much of a failsafe in the pursuit of knowledge - quickly revisited the events of the dream, looking for any hint, any indication at all that the Cosmic Owl wasn't showing her an alternate series of events, but rather a potential future.

Mercifully, after intense concentration, she found what she was looking for, her eyes widening.

Is that dress new, Bon?

It is.

It's nice.

It better be. Jan worked very hard on it. I think he's terrified of me.

He better be. He knows who his Lady is, and he knows who his Lady's queen is. Besides, after what he pulled-

I know, Marcy, I know.

I'm just saying, I let him off easy.

"Finn. I need your notebook." The conviction in her voice was so forceful that the boy didn't hesitate, dumping his bag, and its contents, onto the floor in his haste. At once all three lowered themselves to meet the pile, the princess snatching the notebook at the same time her champion removed the pen from his arm, knowing that she was just going to break it off anyway in his frenzy and hoping that she both could and would reattach it. His sacrifice went unnoticed, so focused was Bubblegum on mapping out the course of events from her dream. This changes everything! At least, it could! If this dream wasn't prophetic why would that conversation have occurred? We would have had no reason to engage in this mission, which means Jan never would have attacked me.

"Uh… Preebs?"

Her long experience in tuning Finn out was suddenly a skill she highly valued. I suppose Marceline could have been referring to a different instance-

"Peebo?"

-but that's so oddly specific! I had no idea as to the existence of Jan before this journey, why would-

"PRINCESS!"

Finn's shout snapped the monarch out of her thoughts and she blinked hard, dazed at having suddenly returned to reality. Her voice was tight with irritation. "Yes, Finn?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Just checking on this. You're trying to figure out if your dream is actually gonna come true, right?" When she nodded as if the answer were painfully obvious and returned her attention to the notebook both brothers exchanged a glance. "Uh… do you… how do I put this…?"

Jake decided to help in his own special way. "You don't know a lot about the Cosmic Owl, do you?" His statement was said so factually that Bonnibel took it as an accusation and turned back to him, ready to argue. Unfortunately for her, the dog was prepared. "Because the Cosmic Owl… premonition dreams are his thing. That's what he does. Well, that and croak dreams." She stared, wondering where he was going with this. "Look, what I'm trying to say is, his dreams happen. It's what he does. He shows up in dreams and then they happen."

Her brow furrowed at the assertion. "Wait, do they happen because he showed up, or does he show up to tell you they're going to happen?"

The older hero shrugged. "Eh, he was never clear on that."

But Bubblegum had once again dropped out of reality and back into her own thoughts at the implication. The boys have been mistaken in the past, but their experiences as adventurers cannot be discounted, even if they are fantastic. If Jake's claim is accurate, and the dream was prophetic… Her eyes widened. ...Oh. My. Glob.

Jake beamed at his handiwork. "So… are you going to tell her?"

All three jumped at the sound the trapdoor behind slammed, followed by the commotion of two irate vampires.

"-Can't believe I'm hearing this crud!"

"Would you just listen to me?"

"Nuts to that! I'm outta here!"

"You can't just ignore something because you don't like it! No wonder Bubblegum finds this so annoy-"

However Marceline planned to finish that sentence was stopped by her being pinned to the wall of the living room by a very indignant Unifier, their friends watching in a mixture of fear and fascination as the latter's elbow threatened to crush the former's chest. "I thought we agreed not to talk about her?"

Unintimidated by what were essentially her own antics, Marceline folded her arms defiantly. "That's another thing! You agreed, Unifier, not me! You can't ignore The Bubblegum Problem either! It's not going away, so deal with it!" The princess flinched, silently looking forward to the day she was no longer considered a 'problem'. Neither half-demon seemed to notice her discomfort. "Now get our perfect butt back upstairs so we can finish talking about-"

The Unifier bared her fangs. "I am finished! You're lucky I don't gank you right now!"

Marceline's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "Excuse me?" She sighed, her eyes closing only momentarily before they opened suddenly.

Before the trio knew what happened the two had moved, the Unifier sprawled on the floor as Marceline's foot pinned her at the chest. In her hand she held the Unifier's axe out of reach. "HEY! Give it back!"

Contrary to her attitude mere moments before, Marceline's voice was now calm and taunting, and she was doing nothing to hide her amusement. "No, you need to calm down." When the pinned queen tried to force herself up the foot forced her back down.

"You can't just take my bass!"

Her taunting became mocking. "Uh… the Law of 'Bigger Than You' says I can, dweeb. I'm stronger than you, so I make the rules, not you. It's the law. My hands are tied." She tilted her head. "So, you gonna calm down?" Another failed attempt to force herself up became another successful attempt to push her back down. "Man, we don't learn sometimes, do we?" Her head shook in disbelief. "Now knock it off. We have guests and you're being a wad."

"Yeah, guests who should be leaving!"

Marceline snorted derisively. "We just went through this upstairs."

Finn and Jake exchanged a look, silently agreeing that they needed to break up the fight before it really turned violent. While they had yet to receive a clear answer as to how strong this Marceline was she was evidently powerful enough to both pin the Unifier to the ground using only one foot while snatching her axe at the same time. More importantly to Finn, though, she didn't seem as keen as the Unifier was to kick them out, and he was going to grab onto that fact with everything he could. "Uh… guys?" They paid him no mind, still engrossed in bickering with one another. "GUYS!"

Both turned to him wearing identical glares. "WHAT?!"

He held up his hands in defense. "Let's all calm down and-"

"Finn, stay out of this!"

"But shouldn't we-" Without answering, both vampires continued their conversation, Marceline gripping the Unifier's axe tightly. By now she had rested it blade-side down on the floor, parallel to its owner's head.

"I get it-"

"No you don't! You weren't there!"

"So what gives you the right to-"

The Unifier snarled, "They need to go. She needs to go before she gonks anything else up!"

Marceline frowned, eye twitching. "You don't-"

"We don't need to be whole, and we don't need to forgive her! We move on, that's it, end of story!"

When the Unifier's own axe was lifted to the air it came down with enough force to crack the floor. It just barely missed the pinned half-demon's head, and the room fell silent. Marceline kept her hand on the axe's staff, eyes dark with fury, hand shaking with rage. "Get this through our thick head. You don't speak for us. You don't get to decide what we do about The Bubblegum Problem. You're not the only one that matters, you idiot!"

The Unifier looked flabbergasted. "Wait. Are you seriously going to forgive her? After what she did to us?!"

Bonnibel felt her heart rise… "Of course not!" ...and fall. Marceline, however, wasn't finished with her other self. "But you don't get to decide what we're all going to do! Don't be a tyrant-"

The Unifier balked, then snarled, trying to escape her position with renewed vigor. "Don't compare me to her!"

Marceline's hand tightened around the Unifier's axe. "Then don't act like her!"

"You ever thought about how you can't see how messed up this all is because you weren't there?"

The still-free vampire rolled her eyes. "You ever thought about how you can't decide for all of us what we're going to do?!" For once, the pinned vampire was silent, and in response Marceline lowered her voice from a shout. "Maybe we should leave Bubblegum. Maybe we shouldn't. But there are four others of us who don't know what happened, and we can't pick for them what we're going to do."

Now it was the Unifier's term to scoff. "Seems like a pretty simple choice!"

For a moment Marceline regarded her weaker self blankly. "Simple choice, huh." It was a statement, not a question, and she trailed her eyes to the axe's blade, still embedded in the floor. "You know, Unifier, you had one job: gank us and absorb our souls. You know, make us whole. You don't want to do that, do you." Another statement. "You just want to be mad. You don't want to fix anything. But you know…" Her grin was made of something dark. "I never really wanted to be whole. I just want to go back to Ooo. And nothing says I need you to do that." Grey fingers drummed on the bass's staff, the room filling with unease as the occupants began to realize exactly what Marceline was implying. "I don't like having rules and orders forced down my throat. I don't like looking at myself have a temper tantrum like a weenie. So, speaking of simple choices, it seems like ganking you and going back myself seems like a simple choice, right?" Finn and Jake prepared to jump into the fray, only to be startled when the undead hand abruptly withdrew from the weapon.

"But you know what? That would make me like you." Her arms crossed. "You don't get to choose what we do. I don't get to choose what we do. You're not the only one that matters!" She took a deep breath, hoping it would steady her. It didn't, so she exhaled forcefully. "This entire situation blows! I get that! Yeah, it hurts! I know because I'm you, you dip!" The Unifier's hands clenched, both sets of demonic eyes feeling the sting of tears. Marceline ignored them and continued. "But right now we're all we have, and we have to live with ourself! So before we make a dramatic undead-life-changing decision we need to know for sure we're making the right call." She paused, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper. "Because once we've made our choice there's no going back."

The Unifier's response came through clenched teeth. "Do you really, really think she's even capable of loving us?" Marceline opened her mouth to answer, closing it when she reconsidered her response. "We can't give her the chance to manipulate us again. That's what she does. You give her the chance and she'll find any weakness we have and that she can and it'll be her weapon. It's…" She sighed. "It's just what she does." Marceline didn't argue that point, falling silent.

Bonnibel felt her heart shatter anew watching the exchange. Within mere moments she had witnessed the woman she loved almost destroy herself - literally. She watched as her maybe-girlfriend fought an internal battle - literally - about what they were calling 'The Bubblegum Problem', a reflection of the vampire's own turmoil about what they should do about their relationship. The princess's feelings were highly conflicted; on the one hand, the wound she had inflicted in her lover was obviously deep, maybe too deep to even scar. Yet on the other hand, at least one part of her vampire seemed willing to at least hear her out, objecting to the idea of making a rash decision. I never knew Marceline could be so... thoughtful. I suppose there was a lot about Marceline I never knew. This was her opportunity to try to sway the situation in her favor, to show both queens that she genuinely loved them, that she valued their centuries-long relationship for the relationship itself, not what the older woman could do for the pink monarch. What can I do? What can I even say? After what I did they're just going to think I'm trying to use them. Good job, Bubblegum, you've really outdone yourself this time. How can I make them see how much they matter to me? The mental conflict had turned into an all-out war for the candy golem as she struggled for a solution, knowing that this would potentially be the one chance she would ever have-

"I'm sorry!"

Four sets of eyes slowly turned towards the princess, who only then realized that she was the one who had spoken. It was Marceline who replied, with a quiet and disbelieving, "...What?" Bonnibel looked between both vampires equally, trying to push all of the love, sincerity, and guilt she felt to her eyes, wanting them to see and understand how guilty she really felt, needing them to believe every word she said.

"I'm sorry. What I did was wrong. I…" Sincere and meaningful apologizing was a foreign concept to Bubblegum, and she was making every effort to make sure she got it right. "I would like to say I made a mistake, but that would imply that I was naive. I wasn't naive." Both were watching her silently, encouraging her to continue. "I knew what I was doing. I didn't care. I was so sure of myself and my logic that I disregarded you as a person. I prioritized the assumption that you would one day betray me over the trust I should have placed in you. I made a promise to you, and I not only broke it I ignored it entirely." Bubblegum resisted every urge to squirm under their judging gazes, refusing any portrayal that she was being anything less than honest, even if she could feel four demonic eyes boring into her. "I have no excuses. There aren't any. You didn't deserve this. Not the dagger, and not how I've treated you. I'm sorry, Marceline. I've been a real dinger to you."

The silence in the room was deafening. When it was broken it was by Marceline, who had turned from Bonnibel back to the still-pinned Unifier. "Has she ever apologized to us before?" It was a question, not a statement, an attempt to gather information rather than fling accusations. The Unifier crossed her arms.

The conviction remained in her voice, but the biting tone had vanished. "Once. Remember the varmints in the mines?"

"Hm." Marceline seemed lost in thought, ignoring the Unifier's mutter, "You can get off of me at any time." She didn't though, she only drummed her fingers on the axe's handle in thought. "Yeah but… except for that one time?"

"Not really."

"Yeah, didn't think so." They paused to focus on one another, the drumming ceasing. "We can't just ignore that, Unifier."

A growl emerged from the back of her throat. "Why not? You know she's manipulating us. She's lying. It's a thing she does."

"Yeah, but actually caring about how her actions affect people? That isn't a thing she does. Pride is like her deal. You know?" The Unifier did, but that did nothing to assuage her determination.

While the two were distracted by their debate the princess stared at them intently, willing the conversation to turn in her favor. Come on, Marceline. Just believe me, dang it! Her anxiety was bubbling into edginess, which in turn was giving way to something darker and it was taking concentrated effort to keep that 'something darker' out of her expression. The scientist knew that if she was ever going to truly convince Marceline - any Marceline - that she had seen the error of her ways she would need to first break the destructive habits within herself. Already this was proving more challenging than she had anticipated and she found herself wavering between gratitude that they were even discussing her apology at all and impatience for them to just get on with it already. Her focus was broken by Finn, whose new hobby seemed to be waving his hand furiously at the princess. After almost a solid minute she noticed, and he rewarded her by mouthing, 'tell her about the thing!', pointing forcefully at the notebook. When understanding shone in green eyes he smiled, flashing her a thumbs up.

"Wait!"

Once again, all eyes turned towards the younger woman, who cleared her throat. "There's, ah… one other facet of inform-" Their looks were unamused, and she thought it better to skip to the point. "While you two were upstairs having your discussion and Finn and Jake were outside playing I took a nap."

"Congratulations."

"The nap led to a Cosmic Owl dream." The Unifier rolled her eyes and made it a point to look anywhere except at Bonnibel.

Marceline however, raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Alright, I'll bite. What about?"

A pink hand picked up the notebook, opening it to the first page containing her notes. "Ah, well… it took place in the future. I'm not entirely sure how far in the future. I mentioned Finn and Jake, so it couldn't have been too far, but with no other-" Stop rambling, Bubblegum! "...Anyway, in this future you and I were, ah… married."

Marceline stared blankly. "Married."

The Unifier's tone was bitter as she turned to scowl at the princess. "What happened to your 'special rule' about only marrying royalty? You know, the reason I'm in this mess in the first place?!"

No longer able to resist, Bonnibel finally squirmed. "That was the point of the dream. You took up the mantle of ruling the Nightosphere."

The Unifier did nothing to contain her mocking laugh, but Marceline continued her impassive stare. "Why would I do a messed up thing like that? In case you haven't noticed…" She gestured to the world around them. Now at the moment of truth, the princess prepared herself to reveal the truth.

"You were wearing a royal gem. My royal gem."

The Unifier's laughter died at the same time Marceline replied, "What."

Unable to read the emotion behind the statement Bubblegum continued, removing her crown once more. "Yes. I fashioned my royal gem into a bracer for you to wear. It did not prevent the amulet's negative influence entirely, but it did act to make it more bearable, and easier for you to control."

The pinned demon rolled her eyes. "Right. You'd willingly give up your royal gem and leave yourself vulnerable."

"Well, not entirely…" She averted her gaze from the two vampires, flushing slightly in her embarrassment. "I, ah… kept the royal gem in my dagger as a substitute."

Like her expression, Marceline's voice was full of indecipherable emotion. "Right, let me just make sure I'm clear. You gave me your royal gem to help soften the impact of the fact that it's literally made of pure evil, and I'm guessing, since it's a Cosmic Owl dream and all, that it worked."

The younger woman nodded. "Yes. Well, mostly. It did limit the power you could draw from the amulet, but it worked in allowing you to wear it without it-" preying on your weakness "-almost killing you." Tell her the rest. Don't go back to keeping secrets. With palpable hesitation, she revealed a piece of the puzzle she had failed to mention even to the brothers. "Further… I acknowledged in my dream that it was not your sole responsibility to overcome the amulet's impact on your mental and emotional states. It… I helped you." Her eyes dropped, her voice becoming hushed with shame. "It should always have been my responsibility. I see that now. I should have seen that before."

After giving her a long, hard look Marceline dropped her gaze back to the still-helpless vampire. "We can't ignore a Cosmic Owl dream."

The Unifier's eyes grew wide in disbelief. "Hold up. Are you straight up seriously telling me that you believe her?!"

"It's a weirdly specific thing to lie about."

"Dude, she's Bubblegum! She lies like she breathes!" The pink monarch in question winced at the accusation, but knew this was neither the time nor the place to argue its accuracy. As it stood the constant attacks on her character were beginning to grate on her, and it was starting to take concentrated self-control not to lash back. If she wasn't so hurt she'd realize she's not exactly blamele- stop that, Bubblegum! Sheesh! Her crown was returned to her head as she closely followed the exchange before her, hunting for another opportunity to insert herself, to show both of them that she was capable of learning lessons that involved squishy and pointy emotions.

Marceline rubbed her forehead in exasperation. "I'm not saying she isn't a liar by nature. What I am saying is that for her it's a weird thing to make up. Prophecy isn't exactly something she's a strong believer in. If she wanted to make up a thing to justify herself why wouldn't she just pick something science-y we wouldn't understand in the first place? Instead of, you know, the Cosmic Owl. You know, the cosmic entity dad has on speed dial in his office?" Finn and Jake exchanged a look, the former of surprise, the latter of being impressed.

The Unifier fell silent, and Bonnibel began to wonder if they had made a breakthrough, if this was her next chance for damage control. This turned out to not be the case when the trapped half-demon craned her neck to look at the princess, and only the princess. "Yeah, that's got me thinking. That royal gem idea… that's a pretty simple solution to a problem you made so complex you almost killed us. Again. So why, O' Queen of the Brainlords, didn't you do that in the first place?!" The vitriol in those words was a venom so potent the young scientist suddenly found herself feeling very small, even as some deep part of her mind reeled at the idea that she was being lectured about foresight by Marceline of all people.

"To be honest, I… didn't actually think of that potential solution."

Marceline stared in incredulity as the Unifier began to laugh mirthlessly. "Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, smartest woman alive, didn't think to use the thing she wears on her head to solve her centuries-long problem?" Her smirk was only half mocking, the other half something unreadable, something wounded. "Looks like you aren't as perfect as you thought. Guess you can't judge me anymore."

The princess took a deep breath, teeth grating. She had been suffering snarky and off-handed comments for the entire conversation but that remark in particular, that overpowering sense of deja vu, that feeling that maybe it was Marceline who needed to learn from the past as well, that finally broke her resolve. Don't do it Bonnibel, don't do it, just ignore- "I never said you had to be perfect!" ...And there it is. Stellar job, Bubblegum. Unseen by either of the combatants, Finn buried his face in his hands while Jake shook his head sadly.

With a bitter laugh the Unifier turned back to Marceline. "See that? She can't even suck up her pride for an apology."

Her other self frowned, but didn't exactly argue. Instead, she tried a different approach. "Look, I get it. We're hurt. She broke our hearts. What she did… I'm not saying we forgive her, because what she did was unforgivable. All I'm saying is that we can't choose-"

The Unifier rolled her eyes. "You just don't get it. I was happy with my new life. I had my jams, I went out and killed something every so often, the rest of you left me alone. No sun, no going red-starved, no problems. Then these dinguses showed up, told me they missed me. She told me she missed me. I didn't want to go back. I still don't! But we've never been able to say 'no' to her. Not for long. So I thought, 'well, I'll go along with it. At least… I know she's okay now." Marceline watched her carefully. "We covered all the windows for a reason. We all agreed it was better this way. But suddenly she was here, and I couldn't make her leave. Trust me, I tried." No one seemed to notice, but Finn and Jake nodded quickly. "She said she missed me and I believed her. I trusted her. And she stabbed me with a silver dagger." A pause, letting those words sink in. "I can't trust her. I'm tired of her breaking my heart and using me. Why the flip are you letting her do it again?!"

After giving herself a long, piercing stare the stronger of the two spoke softly with a voice equal parts tired and pained. "Would you listen to yourself? I told you, I'm not forgiving her. I'm saying we need to put it to a vote."

"This isn't a demo-"

"No, but it's the best we have. Two options. We never forgive her and cut our ties-" Bonnibel took a sharp breath. "-Or we hear her out." Before Bubblegum could provide her input a grey hand rose, stopping her. She blinked at the accurate prediction of her behavior. She always did know me best. That's hardly a surprise, though. She's my best friend. At least… "That's all I'm saying. Majority rule, we'll consider it what we really want."

"She-"

"Broke our heart, shattered our psyche, used us for personal and political gain, yeah, I know, Unifier. But my vote is we hear her out. Hurting us isn't her only hobby. She's helped us. She was our mate. We have history. Good history, don't make that face. Yeah, she's manipulative and, like, the queen of schemers, but I think she loved us. I know we loved her. That's why you're losing it. So my vote is we hear her out, and if it's not enough we leave her. I take it your vote is we cut our ties?" A nod. "Cool. And I think we both know where the Usurper stands on this. So, 2 to 1 right now." She tilted her head. "Now, if I let you up are you going to do something stupid?"

"Probably."

"Well, at least you're honest." She removed her foot, allowing the pinned vampire to finally stand. "But I know us, and I think once you calm your butt down you're going to change your vote." The response was an indecipherable mutter, the embedded axe reclaimed by its rightful owner.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the living room. Desperate to break it, Finn blurted the first thing that came to his mind. "Hey, Marceline, I've been wondering…"

She turned to him, head tilted in curiosity. "Don't wonder too hard Finn, you'll break something."

He stuck his tongue out at her, which she returned, before he continued, just a tad more relaxed upon seeing that playful spark return. "No, for real, I was wondering. You just sort of held the Unifier down for a long time with just your foot…"

Jake caught on. "Yeah! And you said the 'Law of Bigger Than You'! So how much stronger than her are you?"

The Unifier groaned. "Don't get her started, please-" But it was too late, Marceline was already grinning.

"Oh, I'm pretty up there. By which I mean 'most awesome Marceline' ever." From behind she heard herself mutter, "except for the Big Three." Rather than counter the point she just shrugged. "Yeah, except for them. Otherwise I'm the strongest. Awesome, right? Go on, you can tell me how awesome I am. I can take it." No one did, and she frowned. "Lame. Ah, well. Not everyone can handle this sheer level of awesomeness anyway." From the floor, Bubblegum absently wondered what part of Marceline's mind could be so strong it would almost rival the three most dominant aspects. It was a question she dared not ask.

Finn adopted a look of thoughtfulness. "Have you ever fought one of those… I don't know what you call them. Things?"

"...Things?"

"Yeah, the things that come after that weird metal screech thing."

She blinked at that, turning towards her weaker self. "Wait, has one of-"

The Unifier sighed, exasperated. "I don't know, man. We were on our way to take on the Usurper and we heard it, but we didn't see it on the way there or back. You didn't see it when you were with the wad, did you?"

Marceline shook her head, frowning. "Nah, guy. Didn't see anything. I thought I heard something, but it sounded pretty far away, and I had my own problem with the Gate." Finn watched the exchange with his own frown. Wait, another Gate? Does that mean she was meeting up with one of the Big Baddies? He made a mental note to get the deets from her later, after she finished debriefing herself. Right now, however, he had a different topic in mind.

"So if you're the strongest of the 'not-trying-to-kill-us-Marcelines', does that mean you're going to help us take down the Usurper?"

Marceline had a sudden look of understanding. "Oh right! That's what I went upstairs for in the first place!" Once again, the Unifier groaned in frustration. When she tried to float away she was pulled back by Jake, who ignored her glower. Marceline didn't notice, her attention was now focused squarely on Finn. "So, about that. Tell me what happened when you went to the castle."

For a moment the boy hesitated, shifting his eyes briefly towards Bonnibel. Come on, Finn. She's the best shot we have. Gotta tell her. "Okay, so it went like this. We got to the kingdom, and the one of you that insisted she wasn't a good guy but clearly was a good guy was waiting for us."

Marceline gave an irritated sigh. "Finn, none of us are good guys-"

He ignored her, moving on. "We made it into the castle using the super secret passage to Peeble's lab that we're totally not supposed to know about and I'm sure we'll never address again. The lab was trashed, though."

"Trashed?"

"Yeah. Everything was broken, the computer was giving us an ominous message, we found a-" Don't mention the diary, don't let her take it away from Peebs, it's all she has "-rank thing in the sink. Nasty stuff. Which is weird, because the Usurper was, like, 'I left that room exactly the way I found it' and junk." Marceline nodded, engrossed in his description. "Then we went up the other passage into PB's room, which was actually pretty normal except for all the razor wire. Anyway, we found evil-you in the throne room, in the throne and everything-"

"She tried to end us!" Jake looked perturbed.

Marceline raised an eyebrow, glancing to Jake before returning to Finn. "Is that it?"

He shook his head. "Nah, man. She said that the Unifier and other-Marceline were supposed to bring someone to her, and got real mad when they didn't."

"She said we were bad at negotiating! She insulted our honor!" Jake sounded disgruntled, and his younger brother made a noise of agreement.

Marceline, however, wasn't satisfied. "What else happened?"

While Finn tried to recollect the nuances of the fight Jake jumped into the conversation. "She lost it when Bubblegum challenged her. You know, verbally. Then literally. With the knife."

Now her interest was piqued. "What happened there?"

"She was being a jerk about taking her throne! Then Bubblegum hit her with the knife and she went after us and-"

"Wait. You guys attacked first, right?"

Jake blinked. "Well, the princess did, yeah."

For some reason that answer seemed to bother her. "Huh. Alright, keep going."

"Anyways, she tried really hard to gank all of us. Well, except Bubblegum, she was too far away, like a sane person. Then she killed other-you, gave the Unifier her soul, then she wanged the castle apart-"

"Why would she give us her soul?"

Jake shrugged. "She said it was an act of good faith, to go get 'her'-" He used finger quotes to emphasize his disdain at the memory, "-so she could 'solve her tool problem'."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, pretty sure."

Marceline sat with that information, turning towards the Unifier to silently ask if that really was everything. When she had nothing new to add she nodded. "Alright. Where is she now?" Her other self sighed, suddenly exhausted at the prospect yet to come.

"She told us to meet up with her, and to bring her with us."

"So she's-"

"Yeah, she's there. Or will be anyway."

Marceline groaned in frustration and ire. "Ugh, this is so stupid! I can't believe we have to-"

"We don't have to do anything! We could just do nothing!"

She shot the nearly-powerless vampire a pointed look. "We can't 'do nothing', or she's just going to gank everyone else, then she'll come after us anyway, you donkus!"

The Unifier pointed towards the kitchen. "Fine, then you do it, you wenis!"

As the two argued Jake eyed the pointing hand. Tilting his head he stood and walked around it, following its direction with his eyes, ignoring the furious vampires. Where are you… Keeping an eye on the hand he stretched his arm slowly, following the invisible trail into the other room. Let's see… Curious as to what his brother was up to, Finn stood as well, Bonnibel following suit in her own intrigue.

"We both need to do it! You can't get out of doing your one flippin' job just because you're not dealing with it well and still claim you have any say in what happens around here! Besides, we just agreed to do a vote like ten minutes ago! How do you think we're going to do that if you just hide here?! We need everyone's input! We might as well stop the psychopath while we're finding them!"

"What do you want me to do?! I can fly and suck souls! So unless you're volunteering-"

"If we do stay here I don't want to have to spend all my freetime worrying about getting my head ripped-

When Jake's arm finally reached its target he frowned. "Uh… vamp-ladybros?"

They turned to him in unison. "WHAT?"

He tapped the refrigerator door, mounted to the wall over what should have been the kitchen exit to the backyard. "This is what you were pointing to, right? The mysterious door with the mysterious silver chains that leads somewhere mysterious that mysteriously neither of you will tell us about?" When their reactions shifted from anger to nervousness he knew he was onto something and retracted his arm, crossing both.

As his brother spoke Finn's gaze had travelled to the kitchen as well, returning to the vampires when Jake's arm returned to him. "That's a good question. What's up with that door anyway? You keep dodging us about it" Both queens eyed one another, visibly uneasy.

"Uh…"

Alarmed by the sudden change in their dispositions Bonnibel joined the inquisition, folding her arms tightly. "Yes, Marceline, what is up with that door? Where could it possibly lead that you would not only weld it shut but hang silver chains to prevent yourself from accessing it?" Abruptly, she had an epiphany. "Wait. When we first arrived and saw the door I assumed it was the handiwork of the Unifier, as she was the only one we saw living here. Yet she had no powers of her own except for her strength. Which means it would have been impossible for her to set up such a barrier on her own." Marceline began to fidget, eyes averted, lips tight as her possibly-former lover continued. "You helped, didn't you?" It looked like a question, it even sounded like one, but it was most assuredly an allegation. There was no response from her victim and the princess felt herself begin to lose her temper at the poor behavior both vampires were exhibiting.

Finn frowned at the obvious guilt both half-demons were portraying, Marceline having found an interesting spot on the wall while the Unifier absently drummed her fingers on her axe's handle. "Ladybros-"

Without warning Marceline turned towards her counterpart, eyes wide. "You know, we should definitely go see if we can find whatever it was that emerged when that howling happened."

The Unifier immediately nodded. "Yup, let's go do that right now!"

Before they could flee a commanding voice cried out, "Don't even think about running, Marceline!" It didn't matter that they were in the middle of a bitter fight, nor did it matter that neither half-demon possessed a submissive bone in their bodies; when Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum had reached that level of 'done with the situation' one listened. They grimaced, eyeing each other in a mutual plea to find a way out of the situation.

When both failed in their respective tasks they turned to face their friends. Finn's look was of concern and worry, the situation clearly eating at him emotionally. Bonnibel's posture was of irascibility, and it was a stark reminder as to why it was so many of Ooo's denizens considered her objectively terrifying. Jake's eyes held amusement crossed with disbelief, and he had begun to tap his foot in impatience. Marceline was used to her girlfriend's scathing looks, that was par for the course. However, she was not accustomed to the looks offered by the heroic duo, and somehow found them even more distressing. Making people angry, even her mate, could be a fun past-time. This was not. Instead, this was making her heartguts uncomfortable. Once more, both undead monarchs exchanged a knowing look, signaling to one another that they may have lost this round. As the Unifier made it a point to examine the ceiling, the wall, anywhere but the living room and its occupants Marceline grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck in an obvious portrayal of her nervousness.

"...Promise you won't be mad?"

STATUS REPORT:

Dead:

Lawful Good

Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)

Not Dead:

Lawful Evil

Lawful Neutral

Neutral Evil

True Neutral

Neutral Good

Chaotic Evil

Chaotic Good