The Ex

"Are you sure?"

"No." Sara said, her voice developing a slight tremble. "But I need to know why she's here."

"Do you want me to stay?" Catherine asked, already knowing the answer. Sara shook her head, her gaze fixed on the leggy blonde lingering by the bar.

"No, I ... uh, I don't want an audience for this." She said softly. Cath nodded understandingly, placing a hand on her arm for just a second.

"Okay, I'll be upstairs if you need me."

Sara watched her walk away before resignedly dragging herself to the bar and sliding onto a stool. For a moment neither woman looked at each other even though they both knew the other was there. Finally, Sara spoke.

"What are you doing here?" She kept her gaze averted, choosing instead to stare at the untidy mountain someone had made out of battered beer mats. She picked up the top one and started strategically shredding it between her hands.

"Nice to see you too, babe." Sam said with an amused smirk. Sara glared up at her from beneath her lashes.

"Samantha." She chastised coolly, making it clear that she was not in the mood for jokes. Not that it perturbed the blonde.

"Ooh, full name. I am in trouble." She mocked cheekily. Sara sighed, tossing the torn beer mat aside.

"So, what? I stop answering my phone so you stalk my whole team to Utah?" She snapped sarcastically. Sam released a slow breath and reached out a hand to her, frowning sadly when Sara moved her's away.

"Look, it wasn't like that." The blonde tried to explain. "I called the lab to talk to you; you weren't answering, I was worried." She chose to ignore the brunette's disregarding scoff. "They told me that you were here."

"They wouldn't tell you that." Sara narrowed her eyes suspiciously. A smirk spread across Sam's face.

"Alright, there may have been a bit of persuasion involved." She added with a tad too much pride. Sara quirked an eyebrow.

"Who answered the phone?" she asked. Sam frowned thoughtfully.

"Some guy called ... David? I think." Sara rolled her eyes.

"Hodges." She muttered. Sam inched closer on her bar stool, letting her hand brush against Sara's despite the brunette's attempt to slide away.

"Sar, I just want to talk." She lowered her voice, lacing it with faux sadness.

"Yeah well, I don't." Sara retorted, pushing herself away from the bar.

"Sara." Sam huffed, standing up as well. "Why can't we at least try to be friends? I know that you don't want..."

"No, Sam, you don't know." Sara interrupted. "You have no idea what I want, because if you did then you wouldn't be here." She was aware of other people in the bar staring at them and was suddenly glad that she had sent Catherine away. She could handle strangers seeing this, but not her.

"Sara, please." Sam whined pitifully, making a grab for her arm.

"No." The young CSI insisted, pulling away with so much force she nearly stumbled into a table. "All you want is sympathy. You can't guilt me into feeling sorry for breaking up with you." Sam's face contorted into an all-too familiar pout which Sara took as her cue to leave. "You need to leave me alone." She said, turning and stalking out of the bar through the sea of curious onlookers.

'Just keep walking', she told herself, 'don't look back'. And that she did, even when she heard Sam's callous voice just a few feet behind her;

"You should write songs. You always had a way with words, Sidle."

"I'll keep it in mind." She muttered, continuing towards the stairs.

"Sara," Sam called out. Against her will, Sara turned. The blonde was barely two feet away from her. "You might be ready to give up, but I'm not. And I'm not going anywhere."

X x x

Catherine was seriously considering ordering a bottle of wine on room service to keep her company while she paced.

A part of her wished that she had stayed, but she knew why Sara had asked her not to. She wouldn't want to be observed arguing with her ex either.

She told herself that her nerves were due to the fact that she was worried about Sara; about her state of mind. But in all honesty, a part of her had wanted to stay to make sure Sam didn't get her claws back into Sara and ruin the good thing they had going.

True, they weren't dating and at the end of the week they might decide to pretend it had never happened, but something in the back of her mind couldn't help wondering what would happen if they carried on...

X x x

Sara took deep breaths as she stalked down the hall, but it still wasn't helping.

How dare she? How dare she just gatecrash their conference like this?

She stopped abruptly outside one door. She could vaguely hear Nick's voice from inside. She had to admit, a part of her was tempted. After all, it had worked last time.

She lifted her hand to knock, but let it fall back to her side. Stupid idea. She had lived to regret it last time.

And besides, Greg was in there too.

With a deep breath, she carried on down the hall.

X x x

Cath jumped when the door opened, springing instantly to her feet.

"Hey." She greeted softly when she saw Sara's pained expression. She had been planning what she was going to say, but suddenly it all seemed obsolete. Wordlessly, she walked over and wrapped Sara in a hug, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair.

"Relationships suck." She heard Sara mumble against her neck. She laughed softly, pressing the brunette closer.

"Tell me about it." She agreed. Slowly they pulled back. Cath reached out to tenderly brush Sara's hair aside, but the brunette's fiery gaze stopped her motions. Suddenly, without warning, Sara launched herself at Catherine. Taken off guard by the fierce kiss, the older woman grabbed the bathroom doorframe to steady herself and ultimately ended up pinned against the wall. "Is this your solution?" she asked breathlessly when they came apart for air. Sara's hot, dark eyes bore deep into her own and she uttered only one word; quiet and weak.

"Please."

X x x

She felt Sara sigh. She looked up from doodling mindless patterns on the brunette's shoulder.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice husky. Sara shrugged. Cath propped herself up on her elbow, stroking Sara's cheek lightly with the back of her hand. "You know, it's okay to talk sometimes." It was a joke, but Sara got the message and offered a small smile in return.

"Sorry, just thinking." She mumbled.

"Care to share?"

Sara sighed again, fidgeting with the covers. "I don't know what to do." Cath pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"Sara," she started softly. "You know, this – between us, it's not definite." Sara turned her head to send her a curious look. "Whatever this is, you can still change your mind, if you want to. Just remember why you broke up with Sam in the first place." Sara was silent for what felt to Catherine like an age. Finally she met Cath's gaze again.

"And if I don't want to change my mind?" She asked softly. A smile crept onto Cath's lips. She leant down to kiss her, letting her strawberry-blonde tresses fall around them.

"Then we have to start playing by the rules." She murmured. Sara smiled, pecking her lips lightly.

"Your rules or mine?"