Sankta Alina

I was in a small jewel-like sitting room where the queen was reclining on a divan. The queen was beautiful, with shining blonde hair that wasn't a speck out-of-place, her soft features exquisite and envious. She was surrounded by ladies in elegant gowns of silver.

"You wanted to see me, your Highness?" I said.

"Oh yes. Come closer!" She said, motioning me towards her.

I moved further into the room and stopped before the divan.

"Please sit" She gestured to the space beside her.

I felt accepted her invitation.

"I hear you're returning to Os Alta tomorrow, is that true?" She asked. The Darkling wanted to return to Os Alta as soon as possible in fear of an attack from the West.

"Yes," I replied, my voice smooth, calm.

"That's a shame." She said disappointed. " I've grown rather fond of having you here."

My mind flashed back to our first meeting. I thought she would be pampered, spoiled and cold but instead I found someone lonely and full of heartache for the children she could never have.

"I hear there was a chaos at the ball the other night," she said, changing the subject. " I always miss the entertaining ones."

My thoughts quickly turned to Nikolai and my heart pulled. I still couldn't grasp my head around the idea of him being back. I thought he was gone, lost to the darkness. But no, instead, he's human and has wings. Giant, black feathered wings that stole my dreams at night. One of the ladies in silver delivered an arrangement of food on a tray and sat it on the small table in front of us. The queens face dropped and a certain hardness appeared in her eyes but beneath the hardness I caught glimpses of something else.

She sighed. " It's always the pretty ones," she said, looking at the woman that had deposited the food. My eyes went to the woman and yes she was pretty but other than that she was ordinary, no one.

"Leave us," She ordered the ladies.

I heard the door shut behind them. "Tea?" She gestured to the pot.

"No," I said shaking my head.

She sipped her tea. " He thinks I'm blind but I'm not" Her voice was heavy, full of meaning and sorrow. "I know what he does." I asked her who she was talking about.

I asked her who she was talking about.

She turned her green eyes towards me " When they told me I couldn't have children I wasn't sad or upset, I was angry." Her head turned away from me." I was angry because I knew he would find some else, and in this case he has found many." The king had many suitors and his wife knew.

"There's probably hundreds of his bastards roaming from here to the True Sea." She laughed and then suddenly stopped.

I didn't know what to say. I felt her pain, but there was nothing I could do, nothing that I wanted to do.

"I'm sure he loves you," I said, trying to reassure her.

"You always hurt the people you love," she said, her voice faint. " Love has no meaning when power, politics and war are involved.."

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," the queen said. One of the Darkling's guards entered and said." Your Highness, the Darkling had ordered me to retrieve the Sun Summoner."

"Of course"

I lifted myself off the divan.

"Goodbye Alina," she said. "Be careful who you give your heart to."

I executed a small bow and then followed the guard out of the room. I was led down spirals of stairs and outside towards the gardens. I was greeted with flakes of snow beginning to fall, marking the arrival of winter. This far north snow was very common this time of year and well late into the first stages of spring.I came to a sudden stop when the guard in front of me paused. I looked passed him to see the Darkling standing next to the railing, that lead to a frozen lake below. The guard bowed and left. I walked across and stood beside him.

"I used to love winter when I was a child," he said, staring into the distance." There used to be something ... mysterious about it."

I was silent.

"The world seems different when you're a child," he continued." Everything bigger, more of a mystery. You're free. It's amazing how well you can be fooled into thinking that the world is kind."

I turned to look at him. His dark hair was speckled with tiny pieces of snow.

"We're leaving later tonight," he said, the cold making his breath come out like little clouds.

"I thought we were leaving tomorrow?"

"Change of plans," he said." The longer we're away the more of a chance the west have at attacking."

"And if they attack, what are we going to do?"

He turned towards me. His grey, eyes looked more intense against the paleness of the day. "Kill them. What else?"

I froze. " All of them?"

"Yes.

Images of Nikolai's body lifeless, flashed across my mind. My stomach flipped and I felt sick by the thought of him being dead.

"You're thinking about that bastard prince again, aren't you?" He said, in a harsh tone. How was he able to read me so easily?

"There has to be another way. Maybe somehow, I could talk to Nikolai and get him to understand and maybe change his mind."

"Just like you spoke to him last night," he quickly added. "I saw you two on the balcony together. You looked very close."

"That's none of your concern."

"Of course, it is," he said, "You're the Sun Summoner, Alina. Ravka needs you if we ever have any hope in reuniting. There is no room for midnight conversations on balconies with traitors."

"I understand the need to help Ravka but that doesn't mean we have to kill people, good honest people."

"We do what we must to survive," his voice louder. "If we have to kill hundreds of people to protect the Grisha, to protect ourselves. Then that's what we have to do."

I remained silent.

He sighed. " The girl on the fold, the one full of fire and light, what happened to her?" He was close now, his gloved hand slightly grazed mine" The one that burned everything into cinders, the one that looked like heavenly fire, Has that girl vanished already?"

I removed my hand and looked away.

"Are you still so afraid of your own potential?" He said." Do you still crave to be otkazat'sya?"

I won't lie, sometimes my power did scare me but it also makes me feel strong, whole, alive. "No, I'm not afraid," I answered him honestly." But I won't become a monster."

"In time you'll be amazed at what you become," He said, his voice low.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I thought better of it and closed it again. The snow started to fall heavier and my hair began to blow around me in the hight winds. I pulled my cloak further around me, to help shield myself from the biting cold.

"You should go back inside," he said, finally looking away and out towards the frozen lake. "Genya will help you get ready for our departure."

I nodded and turned to leave, but he grabbed hold of my arm.

"Its time to start becoming a queen, Alina." His voice no higher than a whisper." War is coming."

He dropped my arm and went back to looking at the view. I stared at him for a few more moments and then left.

The person in the reflection was one I did not recognize. Her hair, a mixture of white and gold was piled on top of her head and the collar of the stag was open and free. Her appearance was only made better by the work of the Tailor. The dark circles under her eyes disappeared and her cheeks became flushed with colour. This wasn't her, this wasn't how she felt. This appearance was a façade, a lie to try to convince the people at how strong and brave their Sun Summoner was.

"There, done," Genya said pulling me from my thoughts.

"Thank you," I replied, offering a small smile.

Genya stepped back and walked over to one of the cushioned armchairs and sat down. I hadn't given much thought to how she would be finding Djerholm. The stares and whispers she received from strangers didn't seem to bother her or at least she didn't let it show. I admired her confidence.

I turned away from the mirror and towards her. "How have you been finding Djerholm?" I asked her, trying to make light conversation.

"What's not to love?" She said, leaning back in her chair."The weather is miserable, it's always cold and having glass everywhere makes me nauseated."

"It's just perfected, isn't it?"

She nodded. "Very."

"Listen, About Nikolai-" She began to say. I interrupted her. " Leave it alone, Genya."

Before she could protest, there was a knock at the door and one of the servants told us it was time to leave.

I got up from the chair and pulled on my fur coat lying on the bed.

"Ready?" Genya asked, getting up from her chair

I nodded. "Ready."

I was standing beside the Darkling, his fur coat similar to my own. The king was standing in front of us, wishing us a safe journey back to Os Alta and hoping we would return soon.

"It would be a pleasure to have you visit us again sometime soon, Alina Starkov," the king said.

"Of course. It would be my honour to return sometime in the near future," I said, offering my most affectionate smile.

He kissed my hand and I felt my skin crawl.

The king turned to the Darkling." I'm glad we can be allies once again, Moi soverenyi. We are at your aid if ever you're in need of help."

The Darkling smiled. "I will hold you to that."

They shook hands and the king finally said, "Safe Journey. The roads can be quite dangerous in this weather. Make sure you don't stray or you'll never find your way back."

His words did well at unnerving me, but I didn't let my loss of confidence stable boys brought over a piebald mare for me to ride. I mounted. I was leaving Fjerda already and going back to Os Alta, where sooner or later I would have to embrace the qualities of a queen. The Darkling lifted himself up onto his black stallion and his guards started to align around us, their swords gleamed in the cold air. My hands tightened around the reigns and I felt the horse start to move beneath me. The iron gates opened and we rode through them, leaving the palace and a king that waved to kindly behind.

As we rode through the city of Djerholm a crowd of people began to appear on the streets. Men and women, young and old, clustered along the pathways in front of expensive shops. They cried out their love for me. Sometimes I was Sankta Alina, sometimes Alina the Sun Summoner or Daughter of Ravka. I told myself to be polite and so I wave to them. They didn't call out the Darkling's name or shout praise for him. I caught a few peasant girls staring at him or blushing when he looked their way. I felt jealousy surface inside of me, but I didn't acknowledge it.

The Darkling was suddenly beside me. "The people love you."

I shook my head slightly. "They're in love with a saint," I said." Not me."

"We're entering the fold," he said, his eyes wondering about the crowd.

I fidgeted in my saddle, suddenly uncomfortable." I thought we were going around like last time."

"That would take too long," he informed me." The fold is the quickest way to get back. I'm not leaving anything to chance again."

He cast one glance at me and then nudged his horse forward, leaving me alone.

We gathered on the shores north-west of the fold. Genya was beside me, talking about something she saw in Djerholm, but I paid her no attention, my mind was only focused on the Fold. The last time I had set foot into the darkness was when I'd tried to kill the Darkling but instead Mal had died. Now Every time I looked upon the Unsea I was greeted with the essence of failure.

"Alina, are you listening?" Genya said, interrupting me from my thoughts.

"Yes, you were talking about something you saw in Djerholm," I said, turning to face her.

"What did I see?"

"Erm ..." I tried to think of an answer, but it was no good." I'm sorry, Genya. It's just that my mind is elsewhere right now."

"You're forgiven," she said, offering a small smile. " It wasn't important anyway."

I looked back to the Darkness. Any moment now we were to enter and I would then have to call my light to keep the volcra at bay. I saw the Darkling talking to one of the oprichniki in grey, heavily armed. I noticed the Squallers, who had arrived just the other night, begin to line themselves up along the railings of the skiff. One by one the oprichniki entered the skiff and flanked the Summoners in blue.

"Are you ready?" Genya whispered. Was I ready? I didn't know, but either way it was time to enter the Fold. I nodded my head. I felt Genya's hand in mine and she gave a tight squeeze. "Come. It's time to leave." She said. We walked over to the Skiff and boarded. We were escorted to the front, where the Darkling was standing. I stood beside him, Genya now a few spaces behind. The skiff shuddered and began to glide over the soft sand. The squallers lifted their arms and the great sails snapped forward, swelling with wind. Within a few moments, the living world behind us had disappeared completely. Darkness fell around us, black, weightless and absolute. We were in the Fold.

For a long while, we drifted in the black. But all too soon I began to hear the distance cries of the volcra. I braced my feet against the deck and threw up my hands, casting a wide golden segment of sunlight around the skiff. The flutter of their wings became louder and all too soon, their monstrous bodies came into view. Their wings beat the air around the circle of light I'd created, pushing the darkness back at us in rippling waves.

I spread my arms, letting the light radiate brighter, bigger, pushing them back. My body felt pure, alive. I never wanted to forget this feeling. I cast the light out wider in a blazing wave. It showed the horror surrounding us. There were volcra everywhere, suspended in the air around the ship. A mass of gray, winged and grotesque bodies. A tremor ran down my spine. This was what killed Mal, what teared him apart piece by piece. The light accidentally faltered, but I quickly regained my balance and threw it wide once more. I could make out the dry docks of what was left of the military encampment at Kribrisk. Just a few more seconds and you'll be fine, you'll be safe.

I felt the Skiff stop and the high pressure of the air slowed. I let the light fade away and looked around to see the dry docks of Kribrisk in front of us.

An hour later, I found myself in a large tent, lit dimly by glowing lamps. The floor was covered in rugs and furs, and in the center burned a small fire, that crackled in a large gold dish. High above it, a flap in the roof of the tent allowed the smoke and cinders to escape. A patch of stars was visible from the hole. I paced back and forth, unsure of what to do and half bored from sitting down.I heard the flap to the tent open and close. I turned to see the Darkling standing there. He made his way across to the fire and sat down in one of the surrounding chairs, a bottle of kvas firmly in his hand

"Sit down, Alina," he said, staring into the fire. I walked over and sat down beside him.

"You did well today." His voice was half filled with praise and something else.

"Thank you," I said, politely.

He offered me the bottle of kvas, I took it and swallowed a few sips, it burned going down. I handed the bottle back to him.

"Why do you stay?" He suddenly asked."I thought you would have left with him the other night, but you didn't. You chose to stay, why?"

His question shocked me. I was about to answer when a guard came rushing in and said. "Fire... everywhere. We're under attack."

The Darkling rushed to his feet."Stay here. Protect the Sun Summoner," he ordered the Guard."I'll deal with this."

The Darling looked back to me, then left. I stood and began to walk to the entrance but was blocked by the guard. "Out of the way." I tried to put more of a command into my voice. "That was an order."

"I don't take orders from you," He said.

I could hear shouts and screams coming from outside. " If I cut you in half, would you still not take order from me then?" The thought scared me, but I meant it. I would kill him if I had to.

The guard remained still, his body a block of muscle. I rolled my eyes, annoyed with his stubbornness. The flames outside burned bigger and brighter.

"You cannot keep me trapped in here," I said, my voice louder." People are out there dying. They need my help." He still didn't move.

I turned away from the guard, trying to come up with a plan of escape. Kill him. It's the only way, killing him is the only way. It wasn't like I was new to the arts of death. Have I not already killed a man before? Surely, one life wouldn't matter if it saved hundreds? Saints, I sounded like the Darkling. I contemplated the idea, running the scenario in my head. I clenched and unclenched my fist, and turned back around to face the guard one last time. I was about to raise my hands for the Cut when the guard tumbled forward, dead, a sword in his back. My eyes flashed between the dead guard and his murderer. Only a short few seconds later and his murderer would have been me. I backed up, banging into the chair behind.

"Who are you?" I asked, my heart beating faster.

The murderer removed their hood. Straight away my eyes were drawn to the sun tattoo that marked the right side of his face. The Soldat Sol were the enemies fighting the Darkling outside now. That meant that the Apparat was behind the attack. What role did he have to play in this war? Another play to add to the never-ending game.

"Why are you here?"

He bowed his head. " Sankta Alina."

"Answer the question."

He lifted his head. He looked young, barely older than me and yet here he was, a killer. Ready to die for the Apparat's cause.

"The Apparat has had his faith renewed. The winged man has sided with the priest and I am here to see that you come with me, willing or not."

"If the Apparat wants to see me, he can come and see me himself. Not send soldiers to slaughter people in the night."

He kicked the dead guard to the side and moved forward. " Will you not come willingly?"

"What does the Apparat want with me?" I asked curiously.

"I was not told." His fingers lingered on the hilt of his dagger."Will you not come willingly?"

He repeated the question again and again. Surely he would not harm his saint? But was I still a saint to them in their eyes? Or just another traitor who sided with the Darkling?

"Come. I will not ask again." His voice was dry and straight to the point.

"No."

He pulled out his dagger, the blade gleamed in the firelight.

"Come any closer," I said warningly."And I will end you."

He smile was full of teeth. " A saint does not strike her followers."

"I am no longer a saint," I said. My word lingered on the verge of the truth.

I caught the flash of the dagger before he lunged.I managed to dodge his first blow, but his second caught in the fabric of my robes.I pulled and pulled, his blade creating tears in my kefta. I managed to get free and gather myself before he struck again. My hand arched through the air, slicing towards him. The light was more blinding than the fire. His body became pieces, like shredded bits of paper. Blood splattered onto the walls and he was dead, torn in two.

What have I done? Was it bad that I did not feel guilty?

I heard the flap to the tent open. I turn to see the Darkling standing there, small fragments of darkness lingered in his bloody hands. He eyed the dead sun soldier and me. His lips formed into a smirk. "I told you. You cannot help what you become."

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update but I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I plan to update quicker next time. Please review and tell me what you think. xx :)