Harry was completely correct about Umbridge praising Quirrel. It had irked him enough to land him with yet more detentions, another loud confrontation with a furious Angelina, and a further five points taken by McGonagall, as 'detentions seem to have no effect on you'. John insisted that she was doing it for Harry's own good.
How John was keeping his temper was beyond him.
"I'm not going to waste time convincing Umbridge. She's past the point of no return, isn't she?" said John. "We need to convince other students. That's where stuff actually starts. Young people, not old, vindictive toads" said John.
"Old... vindictive... toads, Mr. Potter?" Came the low pitched, snarling voice of Severus Snape.
John turned around and to Harry's shock, he smiled at Snape.
"Not you I'm afraid Professor. I'm on about Professor Umbridge" said John brazenly.
Snape's expression was unreadable, but what he said nearly made Harry and Ron faint.
"As you were Potter" he said, before walking towards the dungeons.
"What the hell..." Harry choked out.
"Snape's not exactly going to be a fan of Umbridge is he? How much does he like being questioned? Umbridge's literal job is to question him" said John simply.
Ron laughed, and almost laughed again when he saw Umbridge sitting in the corner of McGonagall's classroom when they had their transfiguration lesson. When McGonagall walked into the classroom, she paid Umbridge no attention and simply began a lecture on the differences between vanishing vertebrates and invertebrates.
"Hem hem" Umbridge was doing the exact same attention-seeking cough that she used to interrupt Dumbledore. McGonagall ignored it the first time, but not the second.
"Yes?" she asked tiredly.
"I take it you received my message that I am inspecting your lesson?" Umbridge asked.
"Obviously, or I would have asked you what you were doing in my classroom when I entered" said McGonagall. Some of the students began grinning as McGonagall started teaching again.
"Hem hem" Umbridge tried again.
"I wonder... how you expect to learn about my teaching if you continually interrupt my teaching" McGonagall said sternly. John let out a bark of laughter, and he could have sworn he saw McGonagall's lip twitching slightly.
Harry himself was far less angry with Professor McGonagall than he was earlier that day. His anger at Umbridge however, was worsening by the day. He and John had detentions at seven and eight that evening, and their hands, which had started to properly heal, had been cut open again. They were now bleeding. The skin was tender, red, and rubbed raw on both of their left hands. Hermione and Delilah had prepared soothing murtlap essence bowls
"She's just a monster. An authoritarian monster" said Delilah.
"And with Voldemort out there, we're not learning shit" said Harry gloomily.
"We have to do something about her. I suggested poison" Ron quipped.
"More importantly, we need to do something about learning defence in these times" said Hermione.
"What would that be exactly? At best we could head to the library and look up jinxes and stuff like Harry did last year. Not too much use against trained adult dark wizards" said John.
"You're right, the library can only take us so far. We need some kind of practical experience" said Delilah.
"We need to learn ourselves, but we need a teach-" Hermione stopped mid-speech and began staring at Harry and John, sat at a table with their left hands submerged in murtlap essence as if they held the answer to the meaning of life itself.
"What?" Harry asked.
"You two!" Hermione said triumphantly.
John looked at Harry quizzically.
"She's doing that thing again where she's thinking six hundred steps ahead of us" said John. Ron smirked, but Delilah rolled her eyes.
"She's saying... that you two should teach us!" said Delilah.
"Come off it..." said Harry, grinning, sure that they were joking.
"Why not? You two are the best in the year at defence!" said Hermione.
"Aren't you?" John asked, now getting confused.
"No actually. Remus was the only teacher who really taught us right, and your scores decimated even hers" said Delilah.
"What about the actual stuff you've done? Saving the stone?" asked Ron.
"That was luck, I-" Harry started.
"Fighting off all those dementors?" Delilah asked.
"That was a fluke, we-" Harry tried.
"Fighting off you-know-who in the flesh?" Hermione asked, almost shouting her words.
"Listen! Most of it wasn't really luck! I just did what I could, I didn't have time to think! I didn't get through because I'm brilliant at defence against the dark arts! It wasn't like Diggory was stupid and I was clever! It could have easily been me!" Harry yelled.
"We weren't saying-" Delilah started.
"Yeah, well that's what it sounded like" Harry interrupted.
"You know what? If this twat's going to pussy out of it, I'll do it myself. I'll also teach everyone how to fight hand-to-hand" said John, standing up and clearly speaking as bluntly as possible to annoy Harry into submission. Harry didn't let it work.
In fact, no one mentioned it again for another two weeks. Clearly they preferred the idea of both brothers teaching. Hermione however, mentioned it extremely bluntly when they were working on looking up potion ingredients.
"Have you given any thought about teaching?" she asked brazenly.
Harry didn't answer immediately, pretending to be interested in Asiatic anti-venoms for a few seconds first. He didn't want to speak his mind but saw no other option.
"Yeah. I have" said Harry.
"I'm still totally up for it" said John firmly.
"I dunno really. You remember what I was saying about being lucky?" Harry asked.
"Yes, and it doesn't matter. You can't say that you're bad at the subject. If you won't, we know John will just do it on his own" Delilah explained.
"So just you three?" Harry asked.
"Well... don't fly off the handle again Harry, but you ought to teach anyone who wants to learn. Everyone should know how to defend themselves even outside periods of crisis, let alone when V- Voldemort is back" said Hermione.
If anything convinced Harry, the fact that Hermione used Voldemort's name for the first time made him more agreeable to the idea than anything. Ron winced at it but didn't protest as he usually did.
"It's a name you're going to be hearing a lot more of these days Ron. You'll have to learn how to say it. If you can't say his name, what hope do you have of taking him on?" Delilah asked.
"Sorry, but I was raised with that whole 'you shouldn't say his name' thing in my head" said Ron, shrugging.
"You'll get into it eventually. Anyway, we don't know what death eaters do in a fight, so it's worth being able to defend yourself any way possible. Especially girls" said John.
"Why us?" Hermione asked, frowning.
"If we're unlucky, they kill us. If you're unlucky... well... they might not kill you. These nutbars have no problem with killing people based on being muggle-born or not. I don't even want to know what their... err... preferences are" said John.
Hermione and Delilah both shivered uncomfortably, but nodded.
"But aren't there female death eaters too?" Delilah asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure there are, but most of the ones we saw were men. We're just going off what we've seen" said Harry.
"Sounds to me" Ron started. "Like we'll need to think of something different when we're teaching girls. Not with spells and stuff, but probably with hand-to-hand stuff"
"Yeah. I'll have to think about that myself though. Less muscle is weird to work with, especially since I'm not a girl myself" said John.
John had worked out who would make up the Gryffindor rugby team very quickly, and while the forward pack wasn't as big as Slytherin's, they were very mobile. He was certainly pleased with the overall state of his team. He had them running through set plays tied to specific words and callouts in full contact.
It was brutal, but no more brutal than any other match, and he was proud of his selection. Harry and Ron made it, and though he was accused of favouritism initially, Harry's speed and Ron's height still proved worthwhile.
"We need to make sure we don't cross- Oh come on…" said John. Umbridge had walked out onto the field.
"I thought you were inspecting professors?" John asked, walking up to Umbridge aggressively.
"No. I am here to inspect the school. I must say, the rumours of muggle sports being played here had me worried. But I'm sure your team will dissuade my fears. Go on, play as you normally would" said Umbridge, smiling sweetly. John felt his left hand itching quite badly all of a sudden. He knew that sweet smile meant something sinister.
"Alright" said John, gritting his teeth. "Same move everyone, make sure you don't cross like last time"
John watched as his scrum half, Henry Wilson, a small, wiry sixth year picked the ball up and whipped it out to Harry instantly, Ron not crossing his path this time, just as John instructed. Harry was tackled by Dean, and as soon as Harry's shoulder hit the floor, Umbridge started speaking again.
"Oh, no, no no. This will not do" she said.
John rolled his eyes.
"The move worked though. That's exactly what I was planning" said John dryly.
"I am not impugning your team's skill at the sport. I am impugning the sport itself. I am afraid that such a brutish, thuggish, 'game' cannot be allowed to continue if Hogwarts is to be held to ministry standards" said Umbridge.
John's heart dropped.
"No… you can't mean…" he gasped furiously.
"Yes. I will be discontinuing this… rugby from Hogwarts' offerings. Inform your team that they are no longer playing rugby" said Umbridge.
John didn't need to do so. His indignant team all stood behind him, all of them glaring daggers at Umbridge.
"Unbelievable…"
"And then she just said that we don't get to play rugby any more!" Ron seethed.
Hermione looked and listened to Ron, Harry, and John's complaints calmly but sympathetically. Delilah appeared as furious as the boys were.
"I swear she wants to fuck up everything we love about this school" said Harry.
"Yeah, pretty much. All the more reason to at least get a group together who hate her, even if we're just trying to learn Defence" said John.
"About that… Delilah and I have been scouting around, and we've got about two dozen people who might show up to at least hear what we have to say" said Hermione.
"Where?" asked Ron.
"Well the Hogsmeade weekend is tomorrow" said Delilah.
"You're not suggesting that thirty odd people show up in the three broomsticks and have a circle jerk about how much donkey dick Umbridge sucks?" John asked bluntly with a raised eyebrow.
"Charming. And no, I'm not. I've said that we'll go to the Hog's head. It's a bit dingy, but we probably won't be followed and overheard in there because it's just not as much in the way of a popular establishment, is it?" asked Hermione rhetorically.
"The Hog's head? I swear Hagrid once told us about it… what did he say? You get a bunch of shady people there?" Harry asked.
"Exactly. That's why no one sympathetic to prim and proper Dolores Umbridge would be caught there" said Hermione.
"Rich of you to call someone prim and proper" Ron teased. Hermione's face was indignant at first, but Ron chuckled, pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head. She was no longer indignant, but blushing, and Harry pretended to gag.
Hermione was apparently selling the Hog's head short. Dingy was an understatement. It was dark, grey, the tables were dusty, the windows were grimy and starting to go green, and it had the very bizarre, musty smell of goats.
"Lovely" said Delilah, wrinkling her nose. "When are they arriving?" she asked.
"They should be arriving any moment now" said Hermione, looking at her watch.
They arrived mere moments after, and it was clear that two dozen or so was accurate. Lavender Brown, Dean Thomas and Parvati Patil were the first. Ginny, Fred and George also showed up, though that wasn't a surprise. Neither was the arrival of Cho Chang, but that didn't make Harry's face flush any less. He was envious of John's much calmer reaction to Susan's arrival. John at least had the courage to give her a bright smile which she actually returned.
"What do they all want?" Harry hissed to Hermione.
"They just want to hear what you have to say. Don't worry, I'll start things" Hermione hissed back.
However, when she turned to the gathering crowd, she looked rather nervous.
"Er-hi" she said nervously, her tone higher than usual.
John rolled his eyes and poked Hermione and motioned towards her seat. He and Ron stood up.
"So Hermione probably had some kind of speech in mind" said Ron. Murmurs of agreement could be heard in the crowd. "But we need to get to the bottom line as quickly as we can. We'll have loads of time for her to explain things later" Hermione looked at Ron appreciatively. Apparently public speaking was not her strong suit, but she didn't think it would have been Ron's either.
"Sorry if some of you aren't fans of swearing but that's the only apology you're getting. Umbridge is dogshit" said John. Most people laughed.
"And we need some proper defence against the dark arts instruction" Hermione chimed in, feeling far more confident now that the ball was rolling.
"I get it, so you want to form a group so that we can study together and actually pass" said Michael Corner.
"Sort of... but there's more to it than that" said Hermione, looking uncertainly to Ron.
"Harry's telling the truth. You-know... I mean... V-Voldemort. Voldemort is back. Whether we like it or not" said Ron, grimacing upon using the name for the first time in his life. Harry stared at him in shock, as did many others. A lot of people cringed at the use of Voldemort's name.
"You know what? I'll just buy everyone some drinks so we can actually calm down a little. But yeah. Voldemort's back" said John, before asking and paying for twenty seven butterbeers.
"Where's the proof that he's back?" asked a blonde-haired Hufflepuff boy with an upturned nose.
"Well Dumbledore believes it-"Hermione started.
"Dumbledore believes them" he interrupted.
"Who are you?" Ron asked aggressively.
"Zacharias Smith" he said. "And I'm saying that we have a right to know exactly what makes him say he's back"
"That's really not what this is about-"Delilah started.
"It's okay" said Harry, finally speaking. "What makes me say he's back? I saw him. Both John and I did. We fought him too. Dumbledore also told you all at the end of last year. If you didn't believe him then, I'm not bothering to convince you now" he finished firmly.
"All we know" Zacharias started. "Is that Dumbledore said that Cedric Diggory was murdered and that it was Voldemort who did it. If you could tell us how it happened-"
"You want me to describe a murder? Fine" said John, his voice eerily calm. "Cedric wasn't supposed to be there with Harry. Wasn't a part of Voldemort's plan. He ordered Peter Pettigrew to... and I quote 'kill the spare'. That's what Cedric was to him. A spare. No remorse. No hesitation. Pettigrew raised his wand, used the avada kedavra curse and Cedric was instantly dead. Just like that. In an instant, everything Cedric ever was, or would have been was gone. Is that what you want to hear?" John finished.
The reality of John's description shook everyone in the room to the core. Cho in particular looked distraught. Harry hadn't planned on telling anyone about it. John clearly had different ideas.
"Does it make you feel better now? Hearing how a kid who hadn't even finished school was murdered by a maniac and his sycophant just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time?" John asked looking at Zacharias distastefully. Harry was doing everything in his power not to look at Cho, but he saw that John was explicitly now looking at Susan, having given his last look for that moment at Zacharias. There were tears in Susan's eyes, among other people in the gathering.
Zacharias fell silent and shrank back.
"Now that I've gone and vividly described a fucking murder because you just... needed to hear it" John started. Zacharias turned crimson. "We need to learn defence. For the OWLs and for our lives. Period" he finished.
"We need to work out how often we meet, where we meet and-"Hermione started.
"Can you really produce a patronus?" asked Susan, unable to stop herself.
"Yeah. Both of us" said John, confusedly.
"Corporeal patronuses?" she pressed.
"Yeah... why?" asked John.
"Blimey! I never knew you could do that!" Lee Jordan cried.
"Mum told us not to spread that. Said you two, especially Harry gets too much attention as it is" said Fred, grinning at Harry.
"She's not wrong" Harry said wryly. A few people laughed.
"And did you kill a basilisk with the sword in Dumbledore's office?" asked Terry Boot. "I heard it from a portrait last year"
"No. Actually, that was Ron" said John. Ron's ears burned red as expected.
"Yeah, but All three of us fought it" he said hastily.
"Wow..." said Lavender, as if Ron had instantly become twice as attractive in seconds.
"But Harry and John also saved the Philosopher's stone in our first year" Neville chimed in. That made John laugh - Neville at that point actually tried to stop them.
"Not to mention Harry getting through the triwizard tournament!" said Cho. Harry suddenly felt a lot sweatier than normal late Autumn weather would allow. "Dragons, Acromantula, merpeople..."
"And apparently John is an animagus, but I heard it from Malfoy so..." came Hannah Abbott's voice.
John grinned and transformed before their eyes into the great kodiak bear. The crowd gave a loud 'Whoa!'.
"It all sounds... great when you put it like that but we nearly always had help. I'm not just trying to sound modest" said Harry.
"Yeah, without Hermione, Ron and Delilah we'd have been dead a dozen times over" said John, giving Ron and Harry in particular pointed looks.
"So you're saying you can't really do that stuff?" asked Zacharias.
"That's not what he said at all" Fred snarled.
"Need your ears cleaned out?" asked George, pulling a lethal looking metal instrument out of his pocket.
"Or any parts really. We don't mind where we stick this" said Fred.
"Well what we're asking" Hermione started, looking pointedly at the twins. "Is whether or not you'd be interested in Harry and John teaching you all. How to defend yourselves that is"
There were general murmurs of agreement.
"Good. Now we shouldn't meet any less than once a week, and for at least two hours" said Hermione.
"Hang on" said Angelina. "We can't have this clashing with Quidditch practice"
"Definitely" said Cho.
"Agreed" said Zacharias.
"We can find a night that works for all of us, but I think defending ourselves from Voldemort and his death eaters is a bit of a priority, don't you?" asked Delilah.
"Well said!" said Ernie MacMillan. "This is more important even than our OWLs or other exams we may have! I personally am at a loss as to why we have been given such an incompetent teacher by the ministry in such a critical period! Obviously they are in denial about his return, but giving us a teacher who actively prohibits the use of defensive spells..." he said, trailing off.
"We've taken it from a good source" John started, remembering a particular letter from Sirius, with the occasional additions from Remus. "That the ministry, especially the minister is worried that Dumbledore is using Hogwarts to train an army to seize control"
"That's ridiculous!" cried Neville.
"We know. That aside, once a week, and we'll have to work out where to meet too" said Delilah.
"The library?" asked Katie Bell.
"Because Madame Pince will be accommodating of us practicing jinxes in the library" scoffed Delilah.
"An unused classroom" Dean suggested.
"McGonagall did sometimes let Harry use hers last year when Harry was practicing" said Ron.
That probably wouldn't be the case this year though, given the circumstances and McGonagall's live to fight another day mentality.
"We'll work it out" said Hermione, pulling out a piece of parchment. "I'd also like anyone who's interested to sign their names on this parchment. If you're signing, you're agreeing not to tell anyone, especially Umbridge about what we're doing" she finished.
"Hand it here then" said Fred enthusiastically. It wasn't long before the parchment was passed around and everyone present had signed their names.
Once the Hog's head's customers had dispersed and ventured out into the village, Hermione uncertainly looked at Harry.
"Well I think that went well" she said.
"I suppose so. But did you have to go over what happened to Cedric again?" Harry asked John.
"I think I did. If we're going to deal with idiots like Zacharias Smith, then there's no sugar-coating what will happen. Fake Moody's whole 'constant vigilance' spiel wasn't inaccurate. To be honest, that's what the real Moody says anyway. No wonder no one suspected it was an impostor" John mused.
"That makes sense. I really didn't like that guy though" said Ron.
"Neither did I. But he overheard me talking to Ernie at the Hufflepuff table, and honestly we can't afford to be picky right now, can we? It's why we didn't say no to Luna Lovegood" said Hermione.
"Plus I don't think Michael Corner would've shown up if he wasn't going out with Ginny" said Delilah.
"What? She's going out with... since when?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Last year. This is exactly why she didn't want you to know. She knew you'd take it badly" said Hermione.
"Who's taking it badly? I'm not. Just would've been nice to know if my sister..." Ron grumbled, continuing to mutter unintelligibly under his breath.
"Wait a minute... I thought she fancied Harry?" Ron asked suddenly.
"She used to. She just decided to let go of it. It was only a childish crush really" said Hermione, waving it off.
"So that's why she's actually started talking in front of me then?" Harry asked.
"Obviously" said Delilah, rolling her eyes.
"Speaking of all that, what about you and Cho?" asked Hermione.
"What about it?" Harry asked, blushing not entirely unlike Ginny used to.
"Well she couldn't take her eyes off you today" said Hermione.
Hogsmeade suddenly looked a lot more beautiful to Harry.
"What about Susan?" asked Harry quickly.
"I'm in no rush. She's still getting used to being around a bunch of people at once. I don't think she'd know what to do if I told her how... distracting she is" said John.
"Insert compliment about Susan's looks in place of 'distracting' and you might know what he's actually thinking" said Delilah, elbowing John lightly.
"You're not wrong" said John, smirking. "Though there's a lot more to her than that. One problem at a time though. Harry still doesn't know how to talk to girls properly yet" he added.
"Very funny John" Harry said dryly.
"I do try. Come on, let's work on more anti-Umbridge rebellion tactics"