I love you guys so much! Sorry, random spurt of affection toward my readers. That was weird. Sorry.

I've passed 50 reviews! You guys are absolutely amazing! Like seriously, there aren't words for how excited I am over this.

Here's that upcoming length I promised. The next few chapters are all closer to 4k than 3k! Yay! Longer chapters!

I really enjoyed writing this chapter (even though it took forever), so I hope you guys like it!

Enjoy!

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CHAPTER 9

Sebastian splashed cold water on his face. Blaine would be there any minute and he needed to pull his shit together.

He knew now was not the time for a total breakdown; Kurt would figure out something was up if he turned the sink on. The amount of time he would need would be suspicious, especially to Kurt's stepmother. He was surprised by how easily she picked up on things.

He tried to drag his hand over his face, but it hurt his jaw and eye, so he settled for rolling his head and shaking his hands as he paced.

"Pull it together, Smythe. You're fine," he murmured.

He didn't even understand what his problem was. One minute he had been fine, at least as fine as he could be, when suddenly he started thinking about how Danny and he had never had any dinner parties. For no reason; it just happened to cross his mind.

He felt the breakdown coming, the urges to cry, scream, punch things were swelling up in his brain. He had whispered something about using the bathroom before rushing out so no one could sense something was wrong.

His eyes were burning, but he knew he could keep the tears back. He just needed to compose himself.

He splashed his face with water again, and glared at himself in the mirror. He hated what he saw. Ugly bruises and imperfections. Eyes the color of mold. Hair the color of dirt. Ashen skin and awkwardly long limbs. Weight he couldn't seem to shake no matter how hard he tried.

An ugly used-to-be whore. That's what he was after all. Someone who let other people use him for their own pleasure and was too weak to refuse and maintain some form of dignity.

Sebastian stood up straight and shook his head a few more times before leaving the bathroom.

He was shocked to open the door to Kurt standing directly in front of it. "You okay?"

He pulled up his mask. "Absolutely. Urinating isn't a very stressful activity."

Kurt shook his head. "Don't lie to me. I know you didn't use the bathroom; didn't hear the toilet flush and I don't find you the type to forget that sort of thing." He sighed. "Just promise me you'll let me know if you need a break tonight or something, okay?"

Sebastian was struck silent, something he was beginning to get used to around Kurt. "Fine."

He could feel blood rushing to his cheeks as he thought over how stupid he was. Kurt had caught him. He wasn't used to actually trying to keep up appearances. People normally bought whatever excuse he came up with, no matter how pathetic it was.

"It's five past six, Blaine should be here any minute," Carole called out as she placed the final platter along the small table. "Will Rachel make it back at all tonight?"

Kurt glanced at Rachel's calendar beside the refrigerator. "She won't be back until at least nine. She's probably going to do something with the cast, so I wouldn't expect her until midnight."

"Should I put some food aside for her?"

He shook his head. "She always goes out for dinner afterwards."

"Alright," Carole said just as someone knocked on the apartment door.

"I'll get it," Kurt volunteered just as Sebastian attempted to adjust the sleeves of his green button down.

Carole had bought it for him while she was shopping with Rachel. She had called Kurt while they were near the department stores, and he had just estimated his size. She also bought him a pair of jeans, which Sebastian was incredibly grateful for, so that he could look decent when Blaine came over.

Kurt hadn't even thought of that. He would have been mortified if he had to wear sweatpants and a hoodie when they had company.

When he had told her, Carole had simply laughed at him and joked about the meltdown he would have had had it been him. He tried not to be offended, after all; it was completely true.

He pulled the door open and smiled at the sight of the shorter, curly raven haired boy before him. "Hey Blaine."

"Kurt!" He hugged him before Kurt ushered him in. "Carole!"

"Hey there!" She hugged him and fawned over him the way only your own mother usually did. "Look at you!"

Kurt tuned out as they gushed over each other, Blaine complimenting how great Carole looked while she went on and on over how well Kurt had told her Blaine was doing at NYADA.

Kurt motioned for Carole to help him pretend to be fixing things in the kitchen while Blaine spoke to Sebastian.

After only a minute, they joined Kurt and Carole in the kitchen.

Sebastian felt relieved; all Blaine had wanted was to know was how he was sleeping and whether he and Kurt were getting along. Sebastian was actually surprised by how civilized they were around each other. He had started them off on a bad foot when they first met, so it was no wonder they had detested each other. But now… he actually enjoyed Kurt's company. He'd never tell him that of course, because that would be girly and sappy.

Not to mention what had happened the last time he had enjoyed someone's company. It had turned into a crush, then a date, followed by a boyfriend, to be wrapped up with an abusive fiancé. He didn't want to admit it to anyone, especially not himself, but he was scared. Scared of being hurt again. Of someone taking advantage of his loyalty. He was a pain in the ass and stubborn as hell, but when he decided he loved you, he never stopped.

He was yanked out of his thoughts by Blaine. "I had some friends take notes during the classes you missed yesterday. I forgot to bring them today, but I can drop them off for you tomorrow if you would like."

Sebastian nodded. "That would be great, thanks."

Kurt raised an eyebrow but didn't say a single thing. Sebastian wasn't known to say 'thank you' or anything even remotely civilized.

The meal was eaten in silence, but it wasn't a bad thing. What little bit Sebastian had himself eat to keep up appearances was delicious, which explained the lack of words from the others at the table.

"Not very hungry?" Kurt prompted.

Sebastian scanned his face and couldn't tell why he was asking. Did he suspect something or did he just assume Sebastian didn't have a thing for Chicken Marsala?

He took a bite and offered a shadow of a smile. "Sorry, lost in thought."

"Alright, how about I make some hot chocolate and we catch up?" Carole suggested.

"Perfect!" Blaine piped up. "I'll help you."

Blaine and Carole turned their backs on Kurt and Sebastian long enough for Kurt to send him a slightly worried look. "You should eat."

Sebastian weighed his odds and took two small bites before shoving his plate further away. "Honestly, I'm just not hungry."

Kurt cleared the table and debated forcing Sebastian to eat something. His act wasn't fooling him. Kurt could see the way Seb stared at food; he wanted it, he just wouldn't allow himself to have it.

Carole and Blaine handed everyone their steaming mugs before settling down back at the table.

"So, Kurt and I were going to do it soon at some point anyway, but maybe tomorrow we could go walking through Washington Square Park." Blaine sipped from his drink.

Carole nodded. "I'd love that! I could use some fresh air."

Kurt figured the air would do everyone some good, especially Sebastian. "Sure. What about around four tomorrow evening?"

"Perfect!" Blaine's eyes danced with delight. Kurt was glad to see the other boy so happy.

The rest of the evening went well, the small chat enjoyable and refreshing.

Sebastian became tired and excused himself. He knew going to bed wasn't an option, so he settled for watching TV.

Once the TV was blaring, Blaine leaned over and sent Kurt a look of concern. "He's so quiet."

Kurt nodded. "I know. I can't… I just can't believe how different he is sometimes. I've only seen a hint of the old Sebastian twice or so, and now… I'm beginning to think that was another one of his masks. Since I never knew him well, I just don't know what to do."

Carole rubbed his shoulder and glanced at her watch. "Will you two be okay with him? I promised Rachel I would attend one of her shows tonight."

Kurt nodded. "Absolutely. Just text me when you're on your way back so I can make sure to open the apartment door incase Rachel does something afterwards."

She smiled. "It was great to see you Blaine. See you boys later."

Carole decided to go for it, and walked up behind Sebastian. She tentatively touched his shoulder and cringed when he flinched. "I'm off to see Rachel's show. See you in the morning."

Sebastian offered a vague nod and faint smile, but he didn't look up into her eyes. She wanted to wrap her arms across his shoulders and ty her best to make everything okay in her motherly way, but she knew that wouldn't work with him. So she smiled back and left.

Kurt turned back to Blaine. "He's been like this all day. Detached."

"Maybe it's the only way he can cope, Kurt," Blaine suggested, his expression growing dejected. "He's had to endure something unimaginable for a year; it changes you."

"Do you think he'll ever be, well, Sebastian again?"

"I don't know-"

Suddenly the sound of shattering ceramic filled their ears. They both rushed toward the source of the noise, and Kurt's stomach flipped.

Sebastian's face was pale and his eyes red. His shaky hands were convulsing over open air that had once contained a mug of hot chocolate.

Sebastian alone made Kurt's heart sink to his shoes, but when he saw what was on the TV he immediately understood the boy's pain.

It was his fiancé, Danny. He looked like he had been crying and was sporting a black eye and broken nose. He was dressed in a pressed baby blue dress shirt and beige dress pants. He was speaking to an interviewer who kept casting him glances of sympathy. That's when the words finally connected with the imagery.

"… We all admire your bravery over this situation and your honesty."

Danny sniveled. "Thank you. It's been hard, but now that I've finally decided to speak up, I can say with confidence that my fiancé will be punished for his crimes."

"How do you think the court is going to react to two people both accusing the other of domestic violence?"

He gave a weak smile at the camera. "I can just hope and pray they'll pick the correct side."

The story changed and Kurt finally pulled himself away long enough to look behind him at the blank expression of the true victim.

"Sebastian," Blaine had a hand on the lanky boy's shoulder. But it was as if they weren't there. As if Sebastian was suddenly blind and deaf.

Kurt sat beside him but didn't dare to touch him. Blaine was much more comforting, much more compassionate. He would do nothing but hinder.

Blaine rubbed his thumb over the top of Sebastian's shoulder, "Seb?"

Sebastian blinked a few times and dropped his head against his knees. "This can't be happening."

Blaine rubbed his back. "Sebastian, he won't succeed. You have more evi-"

"What if he still wins anyway?" He whispered, "No one will believe the fat, weasel of a whore over Danny! He's perfect, and I'm-"

Kurt shut him up. "Sebastian, Danny is so far from perfect it's sad." Kurt wasn't good at this sort of thing, but he was going to try anyway. "You will win. You aren't fat, you don't look like a weasel, although I'm still questioning whether you have relations to a meerkat, and I swear, it you ever call yourself a whore again, I will kill you."

Sebastian's hands were shivering so badly from the heavy emotions that refused to release him that Kurt didn't stop himself from reaching out and holding onto them.

Blaine's other arm came around the emotional boy and he began to whisper soothing nothings to calm him down.

Slowly, Sebastian began to relax. He was still trying not to cry, tears welled up but not falling. His shoulders would shiver every once in a while, started at the base of his spine and working their way up.

Sebastian couldn't believe this. Not only was he having one of his too often mental breakdowns but now he was having it in front of Kurt and Blaine. The night he had gotten here had been bad enough. His father would have beaten him senseless if he could see him now, shaking like a leaf in another man's arms…

His father had never approved of his sexuality. Even though his father's preference was frowned upon even more then Sebastian's own.

Sebastian remember the first day he had been caught kissing another boy. It had been in 8th grade and it was during one of those stupid middle school basketball games.

Sebastian had been trying to get his crush to kiss him for months. They were both still in the closet, and by some miracle, they had found each other. It was a classic middle school romance; late night phone calls and holding hands when no one else was looking. Stolen glances and smiles that they believed where only theirs.

Moments between them and them alone.

Sebastian had pretended he needed to use the bathroom, and his crush, Jared, had faked a soda run.

They hadn't planned for it to actually happen, but the hall was empty, and Sebastian wanted his first kiss so badly…

He hadn't thought anything though; all he knew is one minute he was reaching out for Jared's hand and the next he was kissing him.

It had been perfect. Not too sloppy, but not too talented either. All Sebastian knew was that he was lucky. Too many people would never get such a perfect first kiss.

At least, that was until his dad showed up and began screaming obscenities. Sebastian had remembered whimpering as his father had grabbed his bicep and yanked him out the door, pain lacing through his arm at his father's vice like grip.

He had been whipped with the belt 10 times. Because his father said the kiss had gone on for ten seconds. His older brother had laughed at him, watching and saying a "filthy gay whore" deserved the pain. Anyone weak enough to cry during a beating, needed the suffering to make them a man.

He wasn't a real man though; he was just a scared, skanky homo with relationship issues. And all of it was his own fault.

Sebastian began to shake even harder at the memory. Blaine's arms wound around him tighter and he leaned his head into Blaine's warm shoulder, shamelessly seeking comfort.

Kurt softly stroked Seb's exposed upper arm and wished more than anything that he had Blaine's gift of compassion and the ability to soothe. His mother was amazing at it; so was his stepmother. But he had gotten his father's genes in that department. He wanted to be comforting, he tried, but he always felt like he was doing something wrong. And he usually ended up making things more awkward than anything else.

"We will win, Bas," Kurt murmured. "We're going to lock him up and he will never lay a finger on you again."

Sebastian opened his eyes and dared to look up at Kurt, his red rimmed, green orbs searching Kurt's gray and blue ones. He saw the silent confirmation, and his expression lightened.

He sat up and let out a shaky breath. "I hope you're right."

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By the time Blaine had left, and Sebastian had calmed down, Kurt was beginning to drift off.

Sebastian was watching some vacation paradise reality TV show, and they were both seated on the couch. Kurt had cleaned up the broken ceramic and hot chocolate from earlier, but neither of them let their feet touch the ground anyway.

He had called into work and explained a bit of his predicament and gotten the next few days off. He couldn't imagine having work on top of NYADA on Monday.

Sebastian had gotten ready for bed, his hoodie and sweatpants swallowing him whole, and Kurt was still trying to process the events of earlier that day.

So now on top of trauma, minor shock, possible eating disorders and all the other crap life had dumped on Sebastian, they had to worry about whether Danny's case over ruled Sebastian's.

If Kurt was being completely honest, Danny didn't have a chance. Sebastian had been hospitalized, completed a rape kit, and he had witnesses of him accusing his fiancé of abuse. Not to mention the sheets in their apartment that had been soaked in blood and semen. Or the blood on the knife Danny used to mangle Sebastian's face. Or the older bruises and scars proving that the abuse had been going on for a while.

Sebastian's stomach growled. He winced; his stomach hurt from hunger, which wasn't surprising considered he had purged everything he'd eaten that day besides the few bites of dinner Kurt had made him consume. He couldn't bring himself to eat; he was disgusted with himself already and the food just made him feel worse.

"What do you want?" Kurt stretched and stood up before padding into the kitchen.

"Not hungry," he mumbled, hoping against hope Kurt wouldn't press him.

No such luck. "I know you are, so stop giving me that load of bull. I'm not going to force you into eating a feast, but I'm not going to let you do this to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything to-"

"Yes you are," Kurt was struggled to keep his voice even. "I don't know if you honestly believe you're fat or whether you think that this is some sort of punishment you deserve, but I'm not going to let you starve yourself."

Normally Sebastian would start arguing, saying stuff about Kurt fretting over him like he was some self-loathing freshman girl, but arguing with Kurt wouldn't get him anywhere. Especially when Kurt read his mind.

"Please, just let-"

"You're eating something right now. And if you don't cooperate, I'm telling Carole. She will not let you off easy."

Sebastian was quiet so Kurt decided to just make him some simple toast. Kurt knew this probably wasn't a new thing, and he had read somewhere that people who had been starving had extremely sensitive stomachs.

He spread some butter over it and rejoined Sebastian on the couch.

"Here, eat this," Kurt handed it over to Sebastian who took a small bite hesitantly. "I know it's not that great or anything, but it's good for you."

"Whole wheat?" Sebastian cringed slightly. He was more so joking than anything, and luckily Kurt picked up on that.

"Sorry it isn't caviar," Kurt quipped back, a faint smile tracing his face.

They returned to watching the show, neither of them really paying attention. Sebastian finished one piece, but didn't appear to have any intentions of finishing the other. Kurt could live with him just eating one; he still considered it an accomplishment that he got him to eat at all.

Sebastian fell asleep quickly after that, his head propped on the arm rest. Kurt switched the TV off and carefully covered Sebastian with a blanket.

His hair was flopped over his forehead and Kurt carefully pushed it back, the serene expression on Seb's face making Kurt smile.

Gosh, if he wasn't careful, he might actually start liking Sebastian.

Kurt smirked. Him? Liking Sebastian?

Yeah right.

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So? Like it? Hate it? This chapter was hard to write, so I hope it was at least some what enjoyable. Let me know what you think via reviews!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

~Ann