Day Thirty
The next day, Fred and George had plans with Lee. After the night he and Hermione had had however, Fred decided that he didn't want to go.
"I'm fine," she promised, pulling him out into the garden to talk. "Go, have fun!"
"I want to stay here and have fun with you," he shook his head. "You had a rough night and you opened up about stuff that you haven't told anyone else, you can't be totally fine."
"But I am," she insisted. "I am completely fine. And besides, the whole night wasn't rough. Go!"
"Why do I feel like you're getting rid of me?" Fred frowned, ignoring her insinuation.
"Because I am. Now go be with your friend and your brother, for Merlin's sakes!"
"But-"
"Go away!" she cried, shoving his chest.
"Wait," he laughed and pulled her into his arms. "You're sure you're okay?"
"Fred," Hermione took his face in her hands and stared into his eyes. "I'm fine. I promise."
"Okay," he finally relented.
"Oi! You coming or what?!" Lee called through the kitchen window. "Quidditch waits for no man!"
"Didn't you hear?" George asked. "He's not a man anymore. Mione chopped his bollocks off and put 'em in a jar!"
"You want me to take yours?!" Hermione called as she and Fred re-entered the kitchen, twirling her wand lazily. "Because that's easily arranged."
"Sorry, love," George looked down at the table nervously. "Just making a little joke."
"Stick to pranks. Now, are you ugly gits leaving, or what?"
"Oi!" All three men cried out in disgust.
"Who you calling ugly?"
"I'll let you three figure that out," she gave them an evil smirk. "Now, off you pop."
"Bye, love," Fred laughed and kissed her cheek.
"Bye, love," George copied his brother.
"Bye, love," Lee rounded out the farewells as Hermione laughed.
"So, one wasn't enough?" Ron walked into the kitchen just as Lee stepped into the fireplace. "Are you planning on sleeping with every man that walks through the door?"
Thanking Merlin that Fred and George had already left, Hermione turned to face Ron, but Charlie beat her to it.
"If that's true you're slipping," he tried to joke. "I've been around every day for a month and you haven't given me so much as a glance."
"Me neither," Harry agreed.
"Well there you are," Hermione said dryly. "I guess that answers your question."
"You disgust me," Ron sneered.
"Ronald!" Molly gasped, appearing behind him. "Apologize!"
"No!" he looked at his mother like she'd lost her mind. "Why should I? She stands there, snogging anything that moves and expects us not to judge her? Forget it!"
"Ronald Weasley!" his mother cried. "How dare you say such atrocious things about Hermione. She's a good girl!"
"You're blind, if that's what you think."
"Oi!" Charlie and Harry both jumped to their feet angrily.
"You can't talk to Mum like that!" Charlie glared at his brother.
"What are you gonna do about it?" Ron laughed sarcastically.
"Come outside and I'll bloody show you," Charlie took a step towards him, but his mother was too quick. She pulled her wand and shot both boys to opposite ends of the room. "That is enough!"
"Mum, you can't let him talk to you like that!"
"Well I'm certainly not going to let you two throttle each other!" Molly cried. "This is utterly ridiculous. Charlie, go upstairs."
"But-"
"Go!"
Charlie felt like he was ten years old again, skulking out of the kitchen and up to his room for a time out, but he did as he was told.
"That's right, listen to Mummy," Ron mocked as they crossed paths. "What a good little boy."
Without any warning, Charlie pulled his fist back and punched his brother squarely in the jaw.
"Fucking hell!" Ron yelled, then shoved him back into the wall and reached for his wand. Hermione didn't hear what Charlie said to him as he advanced, but whatever it was it made Ron drop his wand.
Hermione cried out as she heard his fist connect with Charlie's jaw, sending him flying backwards. Within seconds they were both throwing punches, rolling around on the floor beating each other to death.
And then they were gone, and Hermione was back in Malfoy Manor, watching Bellatrix torture her, feeling the curses rip through her body and the blows that Bellatrix landed to her ribs and face.
She didn't hear Molly and Harry trying to break up the fight, didn't see Ginny come running down the stairs demanding to know what was going on. All she saw was the flash of spells crossing the living room and the empty halls of Malfoy Manor.
"STOP!" she screeched, collapsing as a burst of wild magic escaped her and shook the room. "STOP!"
"Hermione!" Molly hurried towards her, leaving Ron and Charlie on the floor groaning. "Hermione are you alright?"
"No!" Hermione screamed as she saw the older woman reach for her, shaking violently, unable to catch her breath. She recognized the tell-tale signs of a panic attack, but was powerless to do anything about them.
"No! No! No!" she gasped each word, slowly curling into a ball. "No, stop!"
"Hermione," Charlie hurried over. "Hermione I'm sorry. It's alright now."
"No, no, no!" she kept shaking her head, unable to control what was going on in her body. She couldn't breathe, couldn't stop shaking, couldn't stop begging for it all to stop.
Half of her body seemed to be back on the floor in Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix's boots grinding into her ribs, her knife ripping into the skin on her arm- the other half of her saw the kitchen spinning around her, the vague shapes of bodies hovering above her.
She'd had more than her fair share of panic attacks since coming home, but never in the middle of the kitchen and never in front of anybody other than Harry or Fred. Now, here she was, completely losing her mind in the middle of the Weasley family kitchen. While Molly hovered over her, Charlie seemed scared that she was dying and Ron was glaring at her with the kind of look that suggested he thought she was getting what she deserved.
"Hermione," Harry sat down on the floor beside her. "It's alright Hermione, you're alright."
"She's just looking for attention," Ron scoffed.
"That is enough!" Molly snapped at her son. "Look what you've done to the poor girl!"
"Please!" Harry hissed, his voice was barely above a whisper. "Take it outside."
"Harry's right. Both of you, out!" she flicked her wand and Harry was sure that whatever spell she had cast was pulling her sons outside by their ears.
Once they were gone, he laid down on the floor and took one of her hands in his.
"You're alright, Hermione. Okay? Just listen to my voice. Can you feel my hand?" he squeezed her hand tightly, his nails digging into her palm painfully.
With all the strength she could muster, she squeezed back, though with nowhere near as much strength as Harry had.
"That's good," he smiled encouragingly. "Good job. See, you're alright. We're alright. Do you know where you are?"
His voice was low and even, offering her an inkling of calm when every part of her felt out of control. "Hermione, we're in the Burrow. Remember?"
"Harry," she sobbed.
"I'm right here," he squeezed her hand again.
"Harry, the manor-"
"No," he shook his head. "No we're not there. That was months ago. We're in the Burrow, remember? We're on the kitchen floor. Molly is outside with Charlie. Ginny's in the other room. We're safe. You're safe here. Hermione, you're safe." he kept repeating the phrase, watching closely as her breathing slowed and she became aware of her surroundings.
"You're safe. Now, I want you to take deep breaths, okay? Just like this," he breathed deeply, waiting for her to join in. "Come on, Hermione, you doing great. Deep breaths. That's it."
They stayed there for what felt like hours, just laying on the floor taking deep breaths. When her breathing had finally evened out and her sobs had quieted, Harry helped her off the floor and into a chair, kneeling in front of her.
"They wouldn't stop yelling," she bit her lip to keep from crying again. "And then Ron blasted Charlie back and it all came rushing back. I just lost it."
"Are you sure it was just the fight?" Harry frowned. "Usually they're not this intense."
"I told Fred last night."
"Told him...?"
"Everything," Hermione nodded. "Well, everything from that night."
"That's good," Harry squeezed her hand. "You need someone else to talk to about it. Not that I'm not always here for you, but-"
"I know," she assured him. "Do you think you can make my excuses? I need to lie down."
"Of course," Harry got up and pulled her into a warm, strong hug. "I'm around if you need me."
"Thank you," she hugged him back just as tightly, then made her way up the stairs, Ginny following her closely.
"Oh, Harry?" she stopped at the bottom of the staircase. "Can you make sure no one tells Fred and George about this? I don't want Fred to worry."
"Yeah," he nodded. "Sure."
She gave him a grateful smile, and ascended the staircase, her arm linked with Ginny's.
- - PAGE BREAK - -
"Oh, Harry!" Molly rushed over as soon as he stepped into the garden. "Where's Hermione? Is she alright?"
"She went upstairs to rest. She'll be fine."
"Oh good! Thank Merlin you were here, you knew exactly what to do."
"It's not the first time. She's been having panic attacks ever since... since the war," Harry explained vaguely. Ginny and Fred might know all about Malfoy Manor, but the rest of the family was blissfully unaware and Harry intended to keep it that way.
"What triggered it?" Charlie asked.
"It varies," Harry shrugged. "Sometimes it's nothing more than a loud noise or someone sneaking up on her accidentally."
"But today?" he pushed. "It was me and Ron fighting, right?"
"Yeah," Harry sighed.
"I need to apologize to her," Charlie started to make his way towards the house, but Harry stopped him.
"It's alright," he shook his head. "She needs to rest right now, but it's not your fault. You couldn't have known."
"Still, I feel terrible."
"She'll be fine in a few hours," Harry assured him. "It's not your fault."
"I'm going to go check on her," Molly headed towards the house, but Harry stopped her as well.
"Wait, she wanted me to ask you all not to say anything to Fred and George about this. She doesn't want to worry them."
Molly and Charlie both nodded- Ron didn't seem to be listening.
"Is there anything else?"
"No," Harry shook his head.
As she passed him, Molly pulled Harry into a hug, much to his surprise.
"You're such a good boy," she whispered. "You take care of her so well. What did we do to deserve you in our family?"
"It's more a question of what I did to deserve getting a family," Harry hugged her back.
"Oh, my sweet boy," she pulled away and smiled. "How did I get lucky enough to end up with eight wonderful sons and two beautiful daughters?"
As soon as she was gone, Harry turned to Ron and pulled out his wand.
"We're going to have a chat," he snarled. "Come on."
He took Ron's arm and practically dragged him over to the dock, ready to stun him into compliance if necessary.
"Get off!" Ron kept yelling, struggling against him until Harry shoved him against a tree.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" he snapped. "How could you do that to her?!"
"I didn't do anything!" Ron rolled his eyes. "She's a bloody attention seeker."
"You're a bloody idiot! You know better than any of us what she's been through and you go and pull a stunt like that!?" Harry could barely contain his rage, he was using every ounce of strength he had not to beat his best friend to death.
"I don't care what's going on with you," he continued, moving closer until they were almost nose to nose. "We're all having a hard time dealing with what happened, we all walked away with scars, but that doesn't make it okay for you to hurt her like that. She's a danger to herself when she has an attack, you've seen what she can do! I don't care how angry you are at the world, that does not make what you did to her okay."
"Fuck off!" Ron shoved him away. "I thought you were my friend, but you just stand here defending her when this is all her fault!"
"Stop saying that!" Harry cried. "None of this is her fault! None of it! It's not her fault that Percy died and it's not her fault that you're an angry drunk!"
"Don't say his name!" Ron snarled. "Don't you dare."
"Percy," Harry stood his ground. "Percy. Percy. Percy."
"Shut up!" Ron took a swing at him, but Harry was ready and shoved him back against the tree, putting his arm against Ron's neck.
"If Percy were here he would be disgusted by you," Harry growled. "I'm sorry that you don't want to believe that and I'm sorry that you're hurting, but you're bringing this on yourself. Now listen to me when I tell you, that if you hurt Hermione like that again, I don't care if you're my best friend, I will kill you. She's kept us alive for years, you owe her your life. So you're going to pay her back by keeping your fucking mouth shut and your temper intact until you come to your senses again, got it?"
Ron glared at him for a minute, then spat in his face, making Harry press him even harder into the tree, cutting the air off from his windpipe.
"You. Will. Not. Hurt. Hermione," he enunciated each word, never breaking eye contact. "Understand?"
"Whatever."
Harry let him go and took a step back. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you are not my best friend anymore. Let me know when the real Ron is back."
"The real Ron is right here," he scoffed. "You just didn't realize it before."
- - PAGE BREAK - -
"Hermione?" Molly tapped softly on the door. "Hermione, dear, can I come in?"
There was a moment of silence, and then Ginny opened the door to let her mother in, slipping out behind her.
"Are you alright, dear?" Molly asked, sitting on the edge of Hermione's bed.
"Fine," she started to sit up, but Molly put a hand on her arm to stop her.
"You just rest dear," she smiled kindly. "Do you need anything? Some tea, or maybe a spot of toast?"
"No, thank you," Hermione shook her head. "I'm just tired. The... episodes, can be rather exhausting."
"Of course," Molly nodded. "You just rest then."
She was halfway to the door when she stopped and turned around again.
"Hermione, dear, I know that I'm not your mother, that I can't replace her, but if you ever need a mother's ear or arms... Well, I think of you as my own and I hope you can too."
She had barely finished speaking before Hermione jumped to her feet and hugged her tightly, tears pouring down her face again.
"Thank you," she sniffled.
"Of course, dear," Molly smiled and held her close. "Shh, shh. It's alright. I've got you."
"I just want you to know," Hermione pulled away, wiping her eyes. "I think of you as my mother. I don't know if I'll ever see my real mother again, but I know that I'll be alright because I've still got you. We used to call you my Wizarding Mum, you know."
"Who did?"
"My Mum and I," she explained. "When I started spending so much time here, she started calling you my Wizard Mum. She always said that she didn't mind that I spent so much time away from her because she knew I was still being taken care of."
"Oh," Molly's eyes welled up with tears and she pulled Hermione into another hug.
When both women had finished crying, Molly tucked a blanket around Hermione and instructed her to call if she needed anything at all. Between the panic attack and the emotional discussion they had just had, however, Hermione was completely exhausted and ended up sleeping until well after lunch.
When she woke, Ginny was sitting in the window reading a book.
"Nice of you to join us," she smiled brightly. "Mum saved some lunch for you."
"I'm not really hungry," Hermione shook her head.
"Suit yourself. Come on, let's go for a walk."
She pulled Hermione out of bed and led her out to the pond, where they sat on the dock and let their legs dangle over the water.
"So, you alright?" Ginny asked once they were settled.
"Fine."
"Hermione," she frowned. "Come on. When Harry has attacks he's tense for the rest of the day."
"I'm alright," Hermione insisted. "That nap really helped."
Ginny shrugged, obviously not buying Hermione's excuses for a second.
"I am. Harry made the others promise not to tell Fred, right?"
"Promise not to tell Fred what?"
Hermione cursed under her breath, leaning back to see her boyfriend hovering over them, arms crossed and eyebrow raised.
"Hmm?" he pursed his lips. "Promised not to tell what, dear sister?"
"I'll let you field this one," Ginny patted her friend's knee encouragingly and got to her feet.
She pecked Fred on the cheek and made a run for it, leaving Hermione to stare out at the pond nervously while Fred sat down beside her.
"Well? Let's have it."
"When did you get back?"
"A few minutes ago. What did I miss?"
"Fred-"
"Don't Fred me," he shook his head. "What do you have my dear family hiding from me, traitors that they obviously are? Did you introduce them to your other boyfriend?"
"Of course not, you git!" she shoved his shoulder. "I would never bring him round here. I wouldn't want them to have to admit they like him more than you."
"How kind of you," Fred rolled his eyes. "Jokes aside, though."
"Since when?"
"Mione."
"I had a... rough morning," she admitted, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Okay..." he waved his hands in a 'go on' gesture.
"I had a panic attack- a bad one. In the middle of the kitchen, in front of the entire family."
"How bad?"
"Bad. Screaming, shaking, wild magic bad."
"I knew I shouldn't have left," Fred sighed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry."
"You wouldn't have been able to do anything," she shrugged. "Besides, I need to learn how to deal with this on my own. It's not your problem, it's mine."
"Hermione," he took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. "I want your problems. I want to take care of you, for you to trust me and let me help you. Please, I don't want us to hide our problems from each other, no matter how terrible they are. I want this to work and it won't if we're hiding things from each other."
"I want this to work too," Hermione assured him.
"So it's settled. No more secrets."
"No more secrets," she agreed.
"So, what happened today?"
Hermione turned to stare out at the water again, chewing her lip nervously. She felt Fred take her hand, lacing their fingers together and giving it an encouraging squeeze.
"It's alright, love. You can tell me anything."
"I know," she nodded. "Can you promise to be calm, though? Please?"
"Of course."
"Seriously, Fred," she turned to face him, a desperate look on her face. "I need you to not get upset."
"Hermione," he brushed his thumb over her cheek. "I promise. What is it?"
"When you and Lee and George left this morning, Ron came downstairs and saw me kiss all three of you on the cheek and he had some... unkind things to say about it."
Fred gritted his teeth, but did his best to control his features, nodding for her to continue.
"Well, your mum heard him and told him to apologize and he snapped at her, which made Charlie angry and the two of them started yelling at each other. Ron was spewing his usual garbage, and then Charlie and him really got into it. They started punching each other and I just... I lost it. I couldn't move or breathe. Ginny says I let off a burst of magic so strong the entire house shook, but I don't remember. I remember Ron and Charlie punching each other and then everything gets rather blurry. It felt like I was back on the floor, I felt the knife-" she stopped, her breath ragged and her hands shaking as she rubbed the scar on her arm.
"It's alright," Fred put his hand over hers.
"The next thing I remember was Harry laying on the floor with me. But that was the worst attack I've ever had. I've never blacked out like that, not been able to remember where I was or what was happening. It was terrifying." She let out a ragged breath and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "And now your whole family knows I'm crazy."
"First of all, you're not crazy," Fred shook his head. "At least not in the way you're talking about."
"Gee, thanks."
"Shh," he patted her head. "Secondly, they're your family too."
"Thank Merlin for that."