New Routines
Over the next several weeks, something strange happened. The careful schedule that Armin had followed for as long as he could remember changed. It happened slowly, without Armin even realizing it until in the space of three weeks everything was different.
The next day, a Monday, found Armin being dropped across the hall just as breakfast was being cleaned up. While the grownups exchanged a few pleasantries, Armin was greeted enthusiastically by Eren and warmly by Mikasa.
"Will you play with me today?" she asked Armin softly.
"Yes!" he answered with a vigorous nod. He was happy to see that Mikasa was not acting 'weird' as Eren had put it yesterday. Secretly, Armin had worried that she hadn't wanted to play with him. He was glad that wasn't the case, at least today.
"Armin, I want you to play with me!" Eren whined, grabbing his arm and tugging it impatiently.
With a blink of surprise, Armin looked between the two siblings. This was a first for him, having never been fought over before. Before Armin could reply that he wanted to play with them both, Levi interfered.
"Eren, let go before you hurt him," he instructed, sounding more exasperated than concerned.
Instantly, Eren released his hold on Armin and patted it gently in concern. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"
Armin shook his head, to show he was fine. With Mikasa's intimidating father standing over them watching, the words he wanted to say were caught in his throat.
"Don't fight over Armin," Levi said with a small smirk. "You can both play with him."
Then Eren and Mikasa were taking him by the hand and racing off into their room to play with Levi calling behind them to not make a mess.
"What does your dad do all day?" Armin asked two days later.
Eren looked up from the spot on the floor where he sprawled. "What do you mean?"
"My daddy goes to work during the day, but your dad doesn't. What does he do instead?" Armin clarified. He was genuinely curious about how another family functioned so differently from his, even if they were in similar mommy-less circumstances.
"Oh," Eren scrunched up his face and then shrugged.
"He writes books," Mikasa answered helpfully. She was sitting on the bed, brushing the hair of a doll with careful precision.
"Really?" Armin asked with awe. He loved books and he'd been in the presence of somebody who wrote them on multiple occasions without even knowing it! Their dad didn't seem like a person who wrote books, but Armin hadn't met any people who did before, so maybe he wasn't a good judge. "That's so cool!"
"I guess," Eren shrugged, clearly not understanding the amazingness that he was exposed too constantly. "He mostly just cleans though."
It was true that their house was always very clean. More clean than Armin's house and he thought their house was pretty clean. Armin figured that their dad must be cleaning right now, despite the place looking clean when he arrived.
"Even if it's already clean," Mikasa muttered. Her thin brows furrowed subtly as she spoke. "Sometimes twice. Sometimes he can't stop."
Suddenly both Eren and Mikasa looked a little… sad? Armin wasn't sure and was confused. A thick silence fell over the room and Eren picked at the carpet with that scowl of his. It seemed that Armin had accidently stumbled onto a subject that he wouldn't be able to understand and they didn't want to talk about.
"Let's make something with blocks," he said, redirecting the mood into something more cheerful.
Immediately, Eren hopped up with the brightest smile on his face.
Armin liked it when he smiled at him like that.
"I'm telling you," Levi said impatiently as Erwin stepped through the doorway on a Friday night. "Having Armin over makes it easier on me."
"I have a hard time believing that adding an extra kid to the mix makes a parent's job easier," Eriwn countered as he took his shoes off, already knowing that Levi would insist that he stay for dinner as he had the two other times that week.
With a cocked brow and a smirk, Levi gestured in the direction of the couch. Sitting there were three little figures, huddled around a book. Levi's children listened with rapt attention as Armin spoke, rabbling about what Hanji had read to him the day before. They hadn't even noticed that Erwin was back from work, so lost were they in their little world.
"My kids are never that quiet," Levi stated. "Ever. I had so much time to write. Armin's like an angel. I don't know what he does, but my two don't get into nearly as much trouble when he's around."
Erwin turned away from the scene with a proud smile on his face to make a remark to Levi but he promptly forgot it. The shorter man was watching him carefully, standing closer than Erwin had expected. For a few moments, they held their gaze, until Levi blushed and looked away with a grunt.
"You raised him well," he murmured.
That Sunday found the two families at the park. The children were climbing all over the jungle gym, with Eren egging Armin on and Mikasa giving warnings. Erwin hadn't seen Armin so adventurous, well, ever. It was nice to see him looking confident and enjoying himself.
Levi and Erwin sat together on a park bench monitoring from a distance, but for the most part the monitoring was unnecessary. If Eren was preparing to do something particularly dangerous, Mikasa interfered and stopped him. Or if Eren was getting in the way of other kids or unintentionally pushing younger ones around, Armin spoke up.
It was one of the most relaxing trips to the park that Levi had ever experienced.
For the most part, the parents sat in silence. They only spoke if they had something to say and the air between them was comfortable and friendly.
"There was a park like this near where I grew up," Erwin remarked casually.
Levi sent him a curious glance.
"I didn't play at it often though," he continued. "The other kids who played there didn't like me. I think they were afraid of me."
That made Levi snort with amusement.
After a moment, Levi offered, "I wasn't allowed to play at the park near my house. Too dangerous."
Exactly two days later, a loud crash and the sound of crying broke Levi away from his writing. Muttering small curses to himself he saved his work and hurried to the kids' bedroom. Sitting on the floor surrounded by a pile of wooden blocks was a sobbing Eren who clutched onto Armin. A stream of cries and apologies poured from him. Armin himself held a hand to his forehead and had misty eyes.
"What happened?" Levi asked calmly, turning to Mikasa who hovered over the scene with concern.
"We were building a wall with the blocks and then Eren said he was a giant and knocked them over, but he pushed Armin and Armin hit his head and he's bleeding," Mikasa explained quickly with a whine in her voice.
Oh fantastic. Erwin's kid had been hurt by his own little snot and on Levi's watch.
It was one thing to have your own child get hurt while you were responsible for them, but it was completely different when it was someone else's.
Acting quickly, Levi cleared a space in the blocks for himself to kneel down and inspect the damage. It took a little force for Levi to get Eren to loosen his grip on Armin, but he let go and buried his head in his hands
"I'm so sorry Armin!" Eren sobbed.
"It's okay," Armin sniffled in response as Levi leaned in to check his forehead. He was feeling more concerned about Eren's crying than his own injury.
It appeared to Levi that Armin had simply caught the corner of a block with his face. The cut on his forehead was small, but the area around it was already swelling and would probably bruise. Nothing too serious at least.
"Eren you need to calm down," Levi instructed firmly. "Armin only has a little owie. You just need to be more careful next time."
With a watery sniffle, Eren nodded. It was hard for Levi not to laugh at how ridiculous, yet adorable and caring he was acting.
Levi picked Armin up and took him to the bathroom to take care of the cut properly and left Mikasa to console Eren. As he set the child on the counter (Levi knew it was clean, so he wasn't concerned) Armin looked away bashfully. With a snort of amusement, Levi crouched down to fetch the first aid kit from under the sink. He wasn't surprised that Armin was still afraid of him. Though perhaps he could try being more gentle around him.
"Look at me," Levi instructed softly, with a disinfectant ready (who knew how filthy those toys were. Despite Levi's best efforts, children were pros at creating and sharing germs).
Obediently, Armin looked up and watched as Levi leaned into him and cleaned his cut. His fingers were rough and calloused, but his touches were light. It surprised Armin. Levi worked quickly and only spoke to ask Armin if he wanted a Mickey or Minnie Mouse Band-Aid- Armin requested Minnie.
"There, you're all fixed up," Levi said giving Armin's head a gentle pat.
"Um," Armin began shyly. "My Daddy and Hanji always kiss my booboos better."
Levi blinked at him. "Do you want me to kiss it better?" he asked, honestly taken back.
"Yes please," Armin replied.
"Okay then," Levi said with a shrug. Then he leaned forward and pressed a small kiss over the band aid (he reminded himself that he just put it on, so it was clean). "Better?"
The little boy nodded and let Levi pick him up off the counter.
The rest of the day the kids were subdued and clingy. Levi wasn't sure how, but he ended up on the couch with all three huddled around him and on him. Mikasa was leaning against his right, Eren on his left, and Armin sitting on his lap.
When Erwin stopped by after he finished work, he was pleasantly surprised to see Armin letting Levi hold him.
"I'm sorry my kid broke your kid," Levi offered in greeting.
Erwin laughed.
"I don't like bread!" Eren protested at lunchtime the next Thursday.
"Well you can't just eat peanut butter and jelly by itself," Levi countered as he placed the triangularly cut sandwich in front of him.
Next to him, Armin and Mikasa were already quietly eating their lunches (Armin had requested the crusts be cut off and Mikasa preferred her sandwiches cut into rectangles).
"Bread is gross!" Eren continued protesting, pushing the plate away. But Levi ignored him and set about making a sandwich for himself to eat. "I'm not going to eat it!"
"I'm not making you anything else," Levi replied coolly, back still to the little boy.
With the greatest pouting face that he could pull off, Eren picked up a triangle with the intent to smash in his hand and maybe spread it all over the table. That would get his Papa's attention. But before he could do so, Armin tapped his arm.
"The sandwich isn't gross," he said quietly. "Maybe you should try it without the crust." He offered up one of his triangles for Eren to taste.
Shockingly, Eren at it and Eren liked it and Eren requested that his triangles be crust-less. Never had Levi seen someone manage to diffuse Eren like that. He'd fully expected a full thrown fit that would probably involve a mess of some kind.
Armin was all kinds of brilliant for his children.
The next Monday was a long day for Erwin, such were the nature of Mondays. By the time he made it back to the apartment complex, he was grateful he'd decided to take Armin over to Levi's. It meant he would get to spend a nice evening chatting with his neighbor and getting a home cooked dinner. He wondered, for a moment, if he was sending Armin over too often.
Then he realized that Levi was the kind of person who would tell him if it was getting too much.
When Erwin knocked at the door, he was surprised when it was Mikasa who answered. Her face was concerned as she opened the door wide for Erwin to enter.
"Papa needs help," was all she said in explanation and pointed in the direction of the hallway.
A little concerned, Erwin followed Mikasa to where her father was crouched in the hallway, scrubbing at the floor. There was a discoloring in the carpet that took all of Levi's attention; he took no notice to the kids who stood away off watching with confusion or to Erwin as he approached. Levi's grip on the rag was tight enough to turn his knuckles white and his face scrunched into a hard scowl.
"Levi," Erwin said cautiously, approaching slowly. He didn't quite understand what was going on. Perhaps Levi's obsession with cleanliness went further than Erwin had thought. Either way, he didn't want to make the situation worse. "Levi," he repeated louder.
He crouched directly in front of the small man and Levi still didn't look up. Making a quick decision, Erwin reached out with both hands and placed them over Levi's, stopping him. Levi jerked with surprise and swore, not looking up.
"It won't come out," Levi hissed with frustration. "I can't get it clean!"
"It's okay," Erwin offered soothingly. "Levi, it's alright."
Carefully he pried Levi's fingers free of the rag and Levi finally looked at him. Confusion, surprise, and understanding flashed through Levi's face in succession.
"God dammit," he muttered, looking embarrassed and ashamed. "I'm sorry, I got caught up in cleaning and I forgot about dinner. The kids-" He looked around frantically before his eyes settled on them. "Jesus, Erwin I'm sorry you had to see that."
Erwin shrugged. "It's alright. I don't mind," he answered honestly. I'm just worried about you, he added to himself. "Don't worry about dinner. We can get takeout."
With that Levi nodded and hurried to brush off the incident.
Later, after dinner was finished, Erwin asked gently if Levi would like to talk about it.
"No," Levi replied with a sigh. "Not tonight. But maybe… another time."
"You almost don't need me anymore!" Hanji joked on a rare afternoon when Armin wasn't across the hall. They sat with him on the floor, watching with a fond smile.
Immediately, Armin paused in his playing. "What?" he asked, not understanding.
"With your new friends, you almost don't need me to watch you anymore," they repeated with a halfhearted smile on their face.
"Are you going to stop coming?" The little eyebrows on Armin's face scrunched up in distress.
Every other day, Armin was dropped off at Mikasa and Eren's to play with Hanji watching him on the days he didn't. Even on the days with Hanji watching him, Armin spent his time playing with his new friends. It was as if they had always been friends and had always spent every moment together. Armin almost couldn't remember what it was like not having such good friends. But it had only been a few weeks since he'd known them.
"No, not anytime soon!" Hanji replied quickly, putting an arm around the boy. "I'm just happy that you've made such good friends. Though I do miss getting to spend all day everyday with you."
Armin snuggled close. "I miss it too," he answered honestly. "But I also like playing with Mikasa and Eren."
"That's okay," Hanji assured him. "That's okay."
A Friday, three weeks after the Sunday Pie, Erwin and Levi found themselves talking for so long after dinner that they lost track of time.
"They're all asleep," Erwin said, returning back from checking on the kids. "It looks like they dropped where they were playing."
Levi smiled. "Silly brats."
"I should probably take my son home and stop being a bad parent," Erwin joked.
"Oh please," Levi snorted. "You're not a bad parent. If anywhere here is, it's me."
Then suddenly, the playful air became serious. Erwin sat himself down beside Levi, their legs brushing together, and looked at him carefully. Levi was doing an oh so careful job of avoiding his gaze.
"What makes you think you're a bad parent?" Erwin asked.
Immediately, Levi turned to face him. "Look at me Erwin. I'm practically a recluse. My parents were almost never there, so I don't know what parenting should be like. Not to mention the shit load of issues I've got," he spat. Once the dam was open, Levi didn't stop his self-depreciating tirade. "I love my kids, I do. They've already been hurt and screwed up and I don't want to make it worse. Eren, he has night terrors, but acts like everything's fine in the day. It's gotten better since Armin, but I don't know what causes them. And Mikasa, she's clingy and emotionally distant. I'm not prepared, I don't know how to help them. I'm not affectionate-"
By then, Erwin had heard enough and placed a hand on Levi's knee to stop the tirade. The smaller man's eyes widen in surprise and he snapped his mouth shut.
"Nobody knows how to be a parent," Erwin stated. "And even couples who've planned and prepared don't actually know what they're doing."
Levi looked away again, a blush on his face.
"And I think, that of anyone, you can understand what your children are feeling. Your problems, your 'shit load of issues' make you empathetic to whatever Eren and Mikasa are going through," Erwin explained. "I think you're doing the best you can do. You're trying so hard and that's more than other parents do.
Slowly, Levi placed his own hand over Erwin's, keeping his head turned away as he blinked away the moisture in his eyes.
They stayed like that for a long time.
AN: Cue the montage music!
I feel like I say this every chapter, but I'm sorry for the wait! Thanks for being patient! You are all so lovely!
Love,Allie