Chapter 10: Vampires, Werewolves and Sex

October 9th 2053

"An hour and twenty minutes to showtime," Tara said crossing her legs at the thigh. She had apparently gotten the memo about the black color scheme and Tara varied it only slightly with a heather grey dress matched paired with chunky black and white accessories.

Her heels were extremely tall, black with white accents and a peep toe that revealed red polish. Her hair was still held in big soup can curlers and she smiled warmly. She was the only person left in the kitchen, my mother working with the planners to get the rows perfectly aligned, and my bridesmaids Ava, Harley and Chloe were going to speak with the florist. Flowers of any kind were not blooming freely during this time of year so it was difficult to find a florist willing to fill such a large order on this short of notice. The only florist we could find to agree to it was in Tacoma, they were set to deliver the four large bouquets before noon and now they were late because the shit was just piling up like that.

I didn't want to use Annabelle as my wedding planner/caterer, so I went with a smaller company based in Ozette. My mother, who cared much, much more about the outcome was not pleased with their work.

"How did you feel…before your wedding?" I asked, looking out the window. My stomach was in a knot, a huge knot and it burned so hot I felt like it would burn right through.

"Thrilled but peaceful…like, um, like I knew for sure it was my destiny," Tara watched me as she spoke, so still she was like a glorious statute.

"Hmm," I made a noncommittal sound and nodded, fussing with the lace garter belt in my hand. It was beautiful, very, and I debated wearing it for the whole half an hour they had been gone. Would it be wrong to carry a bit of Solace with me down the aisle?

I had other undergarments. Samantha Uley bought me a beautiful set of lingerie for my birthday, a bridal white teddy with matching tiny white undies. They were the right size but they still looked tiny, lacking the amount of material needed to cover my hefty behind adequately.

I had put the set in my bag unsure of whether or not I should wear them. I thought about wearing it on the way out, under my reception outfit. I had a different dress for my reception, my sister Harley insisted. It was heavier, silver and much less traditional for when we drove off into the sunset. We didn't actually have a honeymoon planned, just a bed and breakfast reservation near the mountains and a few days off of work. It was the best we could do on such short notice. Javier and I live in Northern Washington where I work as I photographer and Javier works as a park ranger, and we didn't exactly give ample notice.

"He's a great guy," Tara said flatly.

"Yeah he is," my throat constricted as I said it but I tried to keep my voice level.

"I meant Javier," she prodded watching me as I clung to the garter Solace had given me.

"I know who you were talking about Tara," I rolled my eyes. He was a great guy, an amazing guy, but he's just not Solace.

He doesn't laugh like Solace does, this deep throaty chuckle that makes my entire body tingle. He doesn't smell like Solace, who was a combination of rich gardenias and fresh zested oranges, which I could identify anywhere, even if I had been away from him for a long period of time, and made me shiver in anticipation.

Javi's kiss could not reach me like Solace's which ripped through my chest and filled the open space with an electric hum.

When we were together, joined in a way only a man and a woman could, no one could make me feel as Solace did. I could lie with a thousand men and only Solace could make me experience that level of pleasure and euphoria. Only he could fill me and raise me to such a state of nirvana.

"But he's no Solace," she said standing gracefully and gliding out the room.

"I know," I whispered to the cold empty room.

February 2042

Harley and I became obsessed sex after our parents sent us away to a two week arts and crafts camp with Chloe and we watched our camp counselors do it in the dining hall after they thought everyone was asleep.

We knew what it was before, we weren't idiots but we'd never seen it, not in real life. Chloe had, she had walked in on her mom and Phil doing it one time before, so it wasn't a big deal for her, but for us it was an experience, a disturbing but fascinating experience.

How was it done, why was it done and who did it? After much, and I mean a shit ton of research, we found the answer was everyone, everywhere in every way at almost anytime. It was eye opening, scary and thrilling.

It made me think of Solace more and more. Who did he do it with and why? I knew he had done it with Amber but who else and did he think about them like I thought of him?

Without him sleeping with me every night, I had to find other ways to get to bed, and that became the best part of my day now that Solace was gone. I got a laptop for my fourteenth birthday and I used it to read stories about sex, all kinds of sex.

Some stories were gross, like brothers and sisters or in the bathroom, others were scary like being locked in a room or tied down, but a lot of them made me squirm. Harley lost the interest in sex long before I did, it was my only distraction from missing Solace so much.

When other girls in my class started experiencing it, really doing things and not just reading about it, my obsession multiplied. Jenna, my best friend at school, had a kind-of sort-of boyfriend the grade above us and she told me everything they did, in detail. How and when it happened, what it felt like, and if we were alone sometimes, she would show me.

Chloe said it made me a lesbian so I didn't tell anyone else about it, but Jenna showed me what it was like to be touched by someone other than yourself, to be kissed back with tongue, to have a finger inside of you (something I liked and repeated alone) and to be licked, which tickled in a very nice way.

We became inseparable, we shared a secret no one could know, and eventually we shared a boy.

Jeff wasn't cute, but he was older, experienced and he didn't think I was too fat to kiss. I had gained weight when I quit dance and hit puberty, and try as I might it wasn't going away. After school we would go to his house together, hand in hand once we were far enough away from the school that no one would see us. I didn't like her that way, but I liked being close to her. She was warm, almost as warm as Solace and she liked me more than he ever did.

Jeff's mom worked in the hospital cafeteria and his little brother went to the reservation after-school reading program, so the house was always empty before six.

At first I just watched them. They always started the same, kissing with Jeff lying on top. He would always take her shirt off in the first five minutes, I had calculated it. She had small breast, too small for a bra unlike me who couldn't go without one. He watched me watching them, sucking on her nipples like a baby with his head turned so he could see me. They never finished until each of them had come, and I would walk back home alone, my heart racing, knowing I had done something really wrong but exciting.

Then later I started sitting closer, touching things that were going untouched, or kissing whichever one was free. When his head was between her legs, I would kiss Jenna and she would moan loudly into my mouth. I liked kissing, it was the best part. If I closed my eyes the right way, both of them could become Solace.

Jeff started taking my shirt off the week before summer started again. I wouldn't let him take the bra off but he would lick me through the material leaving cold wet spots against my nipples. It felt good, really good, so good that it was me who removed my bra the first time. It was the middle of the summer then, really hot, and we had the whole day alone in his house while his mother worked and his little brother did Quileute Adventure Camp (or QAC as we called it) with Ava and Harley.

I barely spent time with Chloe anymore, though sometimes I made her pretend I did. They both played with my breasts the first time I showed them, and Jeff took his dick out, playing with it as they sucked. I wanted to touch it but I didn't, everything was slower with me. Even though Jenna had done them all to me before, when it was the three of us, it was like starting from scratch and it was different, it was more real somehow.

Before school started again, things got more serious. Jeff started touching me under my shorts, and later I started wearing skirts to make it easier. I wouldn't let him touch under my panties but he rubbed me through them. Then I was the center of attention, this was new and all new things excited us. Jenna kissed me, and rubbed my nipples playfully as he touched me. She took my underwear off first, guiding his hand to my wetness.

It was nice until Jenna and Jeff started having sex. The first time they did it, I wasn't there, she told me about it the next day and it burned, I had been excluded, but then they started doing it every time we were together. I was on the outside again, and I started leaving unsatisfied.

The first week of school I stripped down to my underwear before either of them could start. Jenna smiled and unclasped my bra, which was now a much bigger size, and Jeff got on his knees in front of me kissing me through my panties. I didn't string it along, I let him push them aside and held on to the wall as his licked me. Jenna took his place, laying me on the bed and licking me as he stripped her from the waist down. They fucked as I watched and she licked me, we did this and other variations of this until Jenna got mad at him a month or so later. He was meeting with other girl and she stopped taking me.

Just as quickly as it began it stopped. Jenna went on as if nothing had happened, but now I was restless again. I went back to hanging with Chloe, but watching movies and talking about dance didn't have the same effect, and after Halloween, Jenna found Owen.

Owen was one of Jeff's friends, he was two years older, a Junior at QTS and he knew all about us. That should have scared me, how many people knew, would it get back to my parents? But I was too thrilled by the prospect of someone wanting me again, of someone needing me.

Owen was not as nice as Jeff. Jeff kissed me softly and never pushed anything, but Owen was older and faster and he preferred Jenna.

"His dick is way bigger than Jeff's, and he's just better. If you're gonna lose your virginity, you should do it with Owen," Jenna advised.

"He doesn't like me," I whined. It was because I was fat and I knew it but I was too ashamed to say it out loud. Owen never touched me like Jeff did, and though he was better looking, I didn't like my time there, feeling ugly and unwanted.

"Jeff likes you," she said offhandedly and that was all the permission I needed. I called Jeff in the middle of November just before my fifteenth birthday. He told me he missed me and that was enough for me to take the familiar path to his house after school.

It was like starting over again, we would watch TV in his room at first with his arm around me. Later it was kissing, and then kissing with touching, then my shirt would come off, then later my bra, then we were doing everything we did before, then more.

By the first week of December, I started taking him in my mouth, something I was previously disgusted with. It made me think of Solace, of how he might taste, and what he would think of me if he knew about this.

Around Christmas, Jeff told me about his girlfriend. She was a sophomore with him and she was a virgin like me. He had bought her chocolates and it made my stomach turn, I was the girl that gave him head, she was the girl he liked.

"Is this okay?" He asked. "I won't put it in," he promised, sliding the tip of his penis along my slit. I was wet, he had just licked me for over an hour and I was swollen but still unsatisfied.

"Um-hmm," I moaned. He rubbed it over my swollen bud and I spread out wider, lying back and closing my eyes. He slid it up and down again, up and down and just as I was about to explode, he pressed himself in and I panicked, clamping down on him.

"Don't worry, I won't put it all the way in, just the head, I won't pop your cherry," he promised and the feel of him inside of me was enough to make me nod in agreement. He pulled back and pressed back in placing in only the tip. Did that mean I wasn't a virgin anymore? Did that mean I was still a virgin? Did that even matter? He brought his hand down to where we were joined, pinching then rubbing my clit with his thumb.

"Uhh."

"Can I please?" He begged pressing himself the slightest bit farther inside, I nodded pulling him down to kiss me as he tore through me, sending a hot jolt of pain starting from my stomach that reached down to my toes.

"Fuck!" I screamed pounding my fist against the bed. He stopped kissing me, holding himself up on his arms as he rocked himself faster and faster inside of me. He wasn't wearing a condom and I instantly panicked, he'd always used them with Jenna.

"Maddie, don't move," he said as I squirmed trying to get out from under him.

"A condom," I choked and he didn't disconnect, leaning forward taking one out of his nightstand and breaking it open. He pulled out of me for a second and it hurt, but when he reentered me it hurt more and very soon after it was over. He went soft inside of me. The condom had blood on it when he pulled out and I washed up in the bathroom before I left, too dazed to think straight.

I stumbled down the stairs feeling broken but tingly.

Solace.

Every second of every day, he was in the back of my mind, but this moment he was in the front, he consumed my every thought.

Solace.

Would I feel like this if it were Solace, if were Solace inside of me? Would he? If he knew I would let him, would he?

That night Embry's daughter Soli came for dinner with her husband Randy, they were back for Christmas break from their school in Canada and Brady brought his girlfriend Annabelle. I excused myself from the table before they served coffee and dessert, it was a first for me, refusing dessert.

I know my mom thought it was because of Annabelle, because I was mad at Amber, but I couldn't sit anymore, things hurt, especially my head which was spinning.

Annabelle followed me into the room, I heard her tell my family she wanted to see if I was okay, and that for some reason that made me cry.

"Oh, Maddie," she cooed, sitting and placing my head in her lap.

"What's wrong?" she whispered directly in my ear, she was making sure no one overheard us, and it made me cry more. There were so many secrets here, a town full of secrets, werewolves and vampires and sex. Sex. I had had sex. This fact rang through my head on repeat.

"I had sex," I breathed so low I was unsure even she could hear it.

'Solace?' she signed, forcing me to look at her. I was not the best at signing but I knew the alphabet, though I was slow and clumsy.

'No. Why Solace?' I signed, spelling his name slowly.

"Maddie, that's… you shouldn't have. You are really too young," she whispered in my ear.

"And if it was Solace, it would be okay?" I whined. She put her finger to her mouth urging me to be quieter. She looked nervous, she played with her hands, biting her thick bottom lip. She knew something, she knew something I didn't.

"I'm tired of secrets," I hissed and she watched me, tilting her beautiful head so that her hair fell to the side.

"I know how you feel," she agreed.

"Tell me what you know."

"I can't tell you everything, Maddox, some secrets are not yours to know or mine to tell," she said looking over her shoulder.

"Then tell me the ones that are," I insisted.

"Do you know what an imprint is?" She asked slowly. Imprint.

"No." The word felt so familiar, but it held no meaning to me.

"I have an imprint. Your mother has an imprint. Soli has an imprint," Annabelle listed.

"Do I? What is it?'

"It's a person, like your soulmate," she said carefully.

"Everyone has a soul mate," I argued.

"It's a wolf's soulmate. I have Brady, Soli has Randy and your Mom has your Dad… when a Quileute wolf sees their soulmate for the first time, they imprint… they fall in love, and the person they imprint feels it too… do you understand?"

"Amber and Solace?" The words were out of my mouth before I could take them back though I didn't want to know.

"No… Maddox, an imprint is permanent, forever. It's a draw, an attraction. I will always want Brady, crave him, need him. I miss him when he's not near me."

"Solace," I breathed and she nodded her head once, kissing my forehead and standing to exit the room leaving me to think, to add to the million questions floating in my head.

The next weeks I spent watching every couple in La Push, every wolf and the women they interacted with, it became a source of paranoia, because all of them were in love, but could all of them be imprinted? Could there be a conspiracy this large hiding from me something so vital, that I was glued to Solace, that I could never love anyone else?

The second week of February, I went back to Jeff's. He greeted me at the door with a kiss, a kiss that felt emptier than before. Could a kiss change? Could everything change now that I knew in my heart that Solace was my soulmate?

I dragged him up the stairs, pulling my clothing off as soon as I was behind the door. He smiled circling my nipple with his tongue as he ripped off my underwear with his free hand. He leaned me against his desk, placing my foot on the chair and fingering me as he fumbled to place the condom on.

It hurt just as much as it did last time, though I wanted it more. I needed it, I needed to know if I could feel what I did before. I didn't, I felt pain and confusion and shame and nothing else. I ran to the bathroom before he was finished, cleaning myself and running out the door without a backward glance. The road from his house to mine was empty but when I reached the intersection that would lead me to Solace's home I stopped.

Solace.

He'd rejected me, he didn't want me, not even for sex like Jeff, yet I still would do anything for him. I loved him and trying to push that to the back of everything didn't work because it didn't change the fact that I needed him.

It turned dark before I grabbed my phone from my back pocket and dialed. I had saved his number under Asshole, and pressing send made me cry. Would he come? Would he care?

He was there before I ended the call.

"Are you o—" I hadn't seen him at all in over two years and I couldn't hold back I threw myself at him before he could stop me. Even in his warm arms I realized something that I had been too distracted for before, it was freezing.

"It-it's cold," I shivered and he removed my shirt, revealing his perfectly toned body.

"What happened to your coat?" He asked, rubbing my arms and making me pant from the contact. Just like that, one touch and I was turned on again.

"In there," I said pointing back to Jeff's house.

"Why aren't you in there with it?"

"Just hold me, okay? I don't want to get it," I sighed nuzzling my head in the crook of his neck which smelled amazing. I let my lips run across the highest point of his scarred shoulder and he held me tighter making me shiver though he felt warm and comforting.

"Did someone hurt you?" He asked quickly, he was shaking.

"Are you cold?" I asked, pulling back to examine his face, he was so beautiful. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life.

"Are you hurt, Maddox?" He asked again, I shook her head no ashis eyes examined me so carefully. I kissed him, grateful for the warm caring I heard in his voice, I had forgotten so easily how much he cared about me.

"Will you always care this much about me?" I asked, the most pouty part of my lips still touching his.

"Yes," he sighed grasping onto my waist.

"I missed you," I said through tears I could stop.

"I miss you," he whispered before he kissed me and I exploded. We had kissed but he had never kissed me back and he had never ever kissed me first. I never felt so alive. When he pulled away I scrambling trying to keep him close.

"You kissed me," I said stupidly sliding down his body, and bringing my fingers up to touch my lips, they were still on fire.

"Um-hm," he agreed and I smiled.

"Again," I pleaded, pulling him close again.

"Let's get out of the cold," he said pulling me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing. He ran so fast the world around me passed in a flash, so I shut my eyes tight and I kissed every part of him I could reach.

He dropped me in his hallway and ran back out the door leaving me waiting for him, my heart beating loudly in my chest until he returned.

"Solace," I moaned, so happy he was here, with me again. I launched myself in his arms.

"I need to take you home," he sighed but I could feel him growing hard against my pelvis. He was huge, and I tried to grind myself against it but he moved back.

"Stop denying me, Solace," I pouted, grabbing his hair and forcing him towards me.

"I'm not Madd, I'm… you're too young."

"Taylor… and Melody," I panted between the fevered kisses I planted along his burning hot neck.

"Different story," he moaned, his pulse quickening under my tongue.

"Brady and Annabelle," I argued.

"Not the same," he said but as I wrapped my legs around him his hands went to my ass grabbing me roughly.

"You're my imprint, dammit! You're supposed to love me!" I screamed and his mouth opened in a huge "O" shape before he dropped me.