The Legrend of Homestruck: Chapter 10: The Second One
Okay Mr Fanfic, since Homestruck is over now, this is now a crossover fic of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and the Donkey Kong Country cartoon. Banana Slamma. So John Egbert and Tony were eating ALL THE POTATO SALADA IN MY HOUSE. well what did i do? simple, sis. I ate em. not jong and tony, but the potatoos. yum. i use that shit for deo yo. and you should to. this has been xboxeone sez. this has been drowned. yum. after johngy was finished weightlifting ten elephlants, he was sweating up a storm. sweat with me john. sweat with me. he had to get the DEO. where is the DEO (in all caps)? at the GROCER. duh., got. it was so simple. how could you be so dumm. sony tony decided to bony his mony and buy a new lamborloni. uh here in my garaaaaaaaaaage. just bought this outdated meme. Please nerf cloud. now, many people would asssume that john and tony are gay lohbers. but lemme tell ya somethin. xbone ohne? xbone is nont a gay lohbers. want to know why? he has the gf. so shut up, larry.
john eggbert went to the grover store and bought (butt) some chips. but little did john ebggbern know they were in for a BIG SURPRISE!
"don't eat those chips!" tony said, with a fistful of baked beans.
"yeah those chips are evil!" rose said, but died shortly afterwards. oh no!
"jon, you are a fegget" said xbone. but it was too late. john ate those chips.
"oh no my intesteins!" john egbert said. with a smile.
they were _bad_ chips... john was rushed to the emergency hostpital. he had to get his stummy pumped. bummy. bummer. when tony was getting his pompach stumped, he was watching the News™. on the News™, doland trump (was having a speech about how his presidency. "oh no, doland trump is going to kill america!" said tony. as he said that, donald trump took out a gun and activated his death blossom ult. "oh no!" said tony, ™, "he killed billary tinton!".. betcha werent expecting the POLITITS in this fanfic huh? you seem to be suffering from a state of false consciousness. tony, the middle of getting his stomach pumped, got up, and walked out. "we have to stop donald turmp!" said rose, who btw was alive.
This is now a road trip.
John, Tony, Rosy, Xbony, and Tatly all got in John's 2002 Pontiac Firebird. Mine™. Min™. Yeah™. They packed up all they foods. and clothes. and grenade launchers. and the holocuast. "tell the dorvil i said fcuk yuo" xboxone said as he shot hitler in the face. twice. they left tony's hometown, alabama, and went to the neighboring state, kentucky. on the way there, they stopped at the many, MANY, sites to see in kentucky. like the sidewalk. and the cow farm. and the water fountain. john pissed in the water fountain. ugh. it was a relief. duster loves mweese. at the cow fountain, tony put a penny in and made a wish. then he pushed rose in and made another wish. "i wish the whole worlds could be a cow". suddenly, the News™ Blimp™ was flying overhead the water farm. "aw shit, it's the pigs. john said" john said. the Newss blimP (trademark(™)), while playing "Night on Fire, by Intial D", announced "dohnald trohmp just killed lion ted cruz!" "oh no not lion ted cruz!" said rose, who was being crushed by exceptionally fat cows. tony, wearing no pants, interjected with "yes i agree! we have to go to the next state!"
so while in hawaii, john's minivan bork down, bork up, bork all around. "GOD DAMN IT. SHIT. FUCK ME." john said, writing a thesis paper on marine biology. talk is cheap. while stranged on the highway to haway, everyone was defriending john from facebook for FUCKING UP SO BADLY. it was really hot, like that one time i was at summer camp when i was covered in honey and bacon bits. the mountain lions weren't that great either. crash bandicoot is hot. everyone on the highway was upset, except for Xbone, who didn't explode for once. HE didn't bork down, he continued driving. schrodeinger's xbox. it's covered in cookie crumbs and has a dead rat in it. suddenly, luigi said "i got this!", while inputting shoryukens. "pika pika!" he said, as he lifted up the entire highway and threw it to hawaii. thank you luigi! on the way there, they stopped by the burger shack and got some burgers from the shack. he left.
so the gang's all here. in californa. you know what's in californa? the lorax. oh yeah, undertale is a thing now. "wow i can't believe toby fox made undertale all by himself!" john said, while spilling the devilled eggs at the my house party... god john you're just BEING AN ABSOLUTE FuCK UP TODAY AREN'T YOU.? while maining captain falcon. so the lorax, taking out his ak47, pumped tatl full of lead. "OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED TATL. YOU BASTARDS!" everyone said, then immediatly forgot. wait, stop the story. look up at the sky! it's king dedede! he's going allll the way! there he goes! oh my god he's going it! oh he crashed into the supreme court. oops. so donald trump realsed some nukes (the asshole) and blew up california. it was awful. everyone was dying, luckily all ouf our main characters survived by craming into tim buckley's refridgerator.. elsewhere, adam sandler bathes in monkey piss.
you want a good pizza? so the gang finally made it to washington dc, where donald trump was crucifying heretics in the white house's front lawn. "wait what are we doing again?" tony said. "DUDE DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE MULTIPLE ENDINGS IN UNDERTALE DEPENDING ON WHO YOU SPARE AND KILL? THAT'S COOL!" jong sad. :( "i'm revelant in this chapter" jade said. while hacking into top secret governemtn ferment files. they had aliens in them, aliieeeeennnnss. the smoking man's my dad. lUcas can jab reset people with the last hit of dair, the sourspot of ftilt, or the sourspot of dtilt. SO WHILE EVERYONE WAS AGSJAGJKASGJ BEIN DUM, LORD TRUMP TOOK THIS TIME TO power up and BECOME DONALD TRUMP ACT 2. SUDDENLY, MORE RACING MUSIC WAS IS PLAYING. AAAAAA. DONALD TRUMP ACT 2 SUMMONED IFRIT AND SPACE LASERS ALL OVER THE WASHINGTON. HOLY SHIT, JOHN, TONY, AND SCOOBY DOO TOOK OFF THEIR SHIRTS AND SCREAMED REALLY LOUDLY. DONALD TRUMP STARTED THROWING HIS SUPPORTERS AT THEM REALLY FASTLY FASTLY QUICKLY QUICKLY NOT SO QUICKLY JUST A STORE BY QUICKLY QUICKENSTEIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. THROWING THEM LIKE A TOUHOU BOSS! THE SPACE LASERS WERE STILL HAPPENING BTW in case you thought they didn't. none of you are safe. COWS WERE DIVE BOBING OTNTO THE INTO THE GROUND AND EXPLODIN. IT GOT WORSE. DIDDY KONG, THE TRUMP SUPPORTER, WITH HIS "MAKE AMERICA GREET AGAIN" HAT, OPENED UP HIS CAVRENOUS, DIWEEASED RIDDENED MOUTH FULL WITH EIGHT ROWS OF TEETH AND LEFT (MORE LIKE RIGHT LMAO_) A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM. SUDDENLY, HE STARTED DOWNTHROW - UAIRING THE ABSOLUTE MOTHERLOVING FUCK OUT OF TONY. TONY WENT AAAAAA AND DIDDY WENT AAAA AND MY MOM WENT AAAAAA "clean your room and also get a job" ROSE WAS DOING WITCH STUFF AND HONESTLY WHO CARES ABOUT UNDERTALE I MEAN HOMESTUCK ANYMORE? homestuck literally won't have a lasting impact on pop culture in any way shape or form FIGHT ME HUSSIE. you know where i'll be. i'll be waiting. A STALFOS WAS FLINGING CEREAL BARS AT JOHN LIKE AT THE SPEED OF BULLETS. JOHN, USING HIS QUICK PRECISION TO EAT EVERY SINGLE ONE, DID AN ANIMEMM PUCNH AND SUNG THE KATAMARI THEME FOR A BIGT. TONY, USING HIS HLAST OUNCE OF HAMON, GAMVE IT TO JOHN, WHO USED HIS SUNLIGHT BANANA SLAMMA OVERDRIVE ON DONALD TRUMP (YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!) AND DONALD TRUMP EVAPORATED BECAUSE HE'S A VAMPIRE oh wait it was daytime. shit. TRUMP ACT 3 EMERGED FROM HIS ASHES BECAUSE HE'S A PHOENIX NOW? so xbox one came out of the white house and said "get off my lawn!" BECAUSE XBOXE ONE WAS THE PRESIDENT ALL ALONG! xd xd XBONKERS TWERKED DIDDY TO DEATH AND DONALD TRUMP WAS LIKE "ECH UGH ONCH" AND coughed off a DONALD TRUMP WAS SUMMONING BATS OUT OF HIS HANDS FOR NO GODDAMN REASON AND THAT REALLY OFFENDED ME. THAT'S NOT PART OF THE STORY, THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. FURIOUSLY, DONALD TRUMP ACT 3 FOUGHT TOMBSTONE THE BEAR. LOOKING FOR AN OPENING, JOHNNY THE MAIN MAN USED THE OCCCULT POWERS OF JEFF DUNHAM HIMSELF TO LET THE DARK HADO FLOW THROUGH HIM AND CHARGE A SHADOW BOMB BIG ENOUGH TO BE PLANET-BUSTER TIER. ELSEWHERE, PEPSI MAN COMMITTED TAX FRAUD. THE TRUCK FROM SA2 (NOT SONIC ADVENTURE 2) CRASHED FROM SPACE INTO THE WHITEHOUSE LAWN. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STOKY. :(TONY, WHILE MASTURBATING, KILLED A MOTHERFUCKER WITH A FAX MAHCNINE. Look around, tell me, what do you see?A lunatic cow, get like 's a rap, on the count of it's all being viewed on Shock. JONY, IN HIS FURSUIT, SMOKED WEEB W WITH NIETZSCHE AND ALSO DIDDY KONG WAS THERE? who invited diddy kong. get out. sigh, i';ll grab the gug... XBOX ONE WAS PERCED IN THE ADBOBEMB BY DECKEDOUT TRUMP ACT 3 BECAUSE HE WAS THROWING LITERL SHIT at me for no god damn reason. TONY'S FURSUIT STARTED PUNCHING HIS WOUNDS BACK TOGETHER. TRUST ME, I'M A DOICTOR. MEANWHILE, TINY USED HIS SPECIAL ORCORINA OF TIME TO BLOW FLAMES OUT OF HIS ARMPITS LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, GOD. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? AAAAAAAAA ALSO THE BACKGROUND MUSIC IS NOW THE SONG FROM JOJO. YOU KNOW THE ONE. (long train ride struck) you want a good pizza? IT JUST SO HAPPENED THAT TODAY WAS TONY'S ARMPITS' THIRTEETH BITHDAY (HE'S 20). IT'S LIKE WHEN I LOST MY NIPPLES WHEN I WAS EIGHT (donate me nipples). ELSEWHERE, JOHN USED HIS BANAN SLAMMA YELLOW OVERDRIVE TO blow bubbles like a pansy AND entered big head mode cheatcodes SO DOND TROND HECKT 3 HAD BIG HEAD MODE (his hands were still tiny as shit though god damn look at them they're so bog damn tin) ALSO MY MATH TEACHER GOT KILLED IN THE EXPLOSION FROM THE IFRIT LASERS. thank you donald trump for making amerigo create again. IF ONLY BERNIE SANDERS DIDN'T DIE FIVE CHAPTERS AGO, FOR IT IS WRITTEN ONLY HE CAN DEFEAT trump. SO THE LEGEND WAS PASSED DOWN TO BERNI'S SUCCESSOR, ESAM, FOR THEY BOTH MAIN PIKACHU, (ONETT BOYZZZZ). THAT'S THE LAST TIME I BRING ESAM TO MY HOUSE, I SAID AS ESAME SPILLED ALL MY DEVILLED EGGS. OH ALSO GUESS WHAT HE WAS SHIRTLESS AND HAD BATMAN ABS DRAWN ON HIM. esam showered the WHITE HOUSE DEATHPIT ™ in darkness. luckiLY, NIETCHE USED HIS SPECIAL SEER OF LIGHT POWERS TO LOOB THE ABYSS AWAY. ersam died. as tony slowly went crosd-eyed, the entirety trump's supporters formed a giant monster like that ending to that one anime (neong gensis, you may hab heard of it, pretty obscur) karkat's fat. SO JOHN, TAKING OFF HIS BIKINI, GAINED SUPERPOWERS AFTER EATING CHIPS,. uh oh the chips were bad. so after pausing the match to geg his stomjuice pummeled, he came/back with sung glasses. (WOW!) ripping the toilet out of the wall with his bare hands, "donald trump act 3" shouted "EAT THIS, HIDEO KOJIMA!" and through it at our heroes, including SCooby Dooby Doo. the giant, unified mass of trump suppoeters showered the area in bloob. meanwhile, ifrit starting jacking off. "THIS IS BULLSHIT (tm smymbol)" tony said, as he deflected bullshit with his catanka. tightning his headband, tony jumped in the air super high and punched ifrits dick clean off. for duster. meanwhile at john's office job, him and his coworker metakniht,, were arguing about if you put ketchup or mustard on a hotdick, btw metaknight is my dad. yeah.